Fan Xiliang lay in a ditch with a thousand others, lying so close together that he could feel their ribs touching his, lying so closely that he could smell their farts, lying so closely that his mind was barely able to think of anything except food, warmth, and Meng Jiangnu. He knew she was waiting for him; he could sense that, but he didn't know if they'd ever be able to consummate their love.

And now, again, the smell of death overcame him. The sounds of the dying filled his soul with anger and he was powerless to escape. There was no magic door he could find. There was no secret passageway to return to Yanquan. He wondered if it was hopeless to pray to the gods, he wondered if they were going to ignore him and alone, struggling to finish his task, but he prayed anyway; he prayed to the distant gods to have mercy on him and allow him to return to his village and his new bride.

Kuan Yin, the goddess of Mercy and Healing, stood beside Fan Xiliang, breathing the fresh breath of life into his soul. She would succor him and take care of him. She would provide for him for the moment, but even goddesses had their limits during the reign of Emperor Qin Shi Huangdi.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The chickens had just started to cluck in Yanquan when Meng Jiangnu tossed in her sleep, dreaming of her husband, wondering about his safety and, in that moment of solitude, unseen by anyone but the goddess Kuan Yin, Meng Jiangnu touched her half of the broken hairpin, feeling the warmth realizing her would-be husband held the other half and that one day soon those two pieces would be reunited. Then, she sensed her husband's shivering cold body next to hers as she gave him her warmth. She smelled his fetid breath, she saw his broken teeth, emaciated body, mutilated feet, shallow eyes, and she tried not to weep in his arms. As the dawn erupted like thunder and the sunshine shot like arrows along the horizon, displaying a serpent of a wall stretching in both directions as far as she could see, she heard the cries of the men. She saw a hundred thousand slaves-men no longer able to work-being buried alive. She heard their screams. She smelled their excrement, then she was in the ditch with them, being covered by the mud, the blood, the rocks. She felt the world closing in on her, the dirt falling and covering her, covering them all. She saw the other slaves above her (and she thought she saw Fan Xiliang) kicking and dragging more dirt, covering her, covering them, and then, just as she neared the point of suffocation, just as she could no longer see the sky, she heard the voice of the goddess: You and Xiliang will live forever. I am protecting your husband for as long as I can, but you must come to him. He is cold and hungry and fearful of the dying men and of the dead souls hovering over him. Bring him winter clothing, bring him food, but hurry, come to him. I will empower you to find him; no one will harm you on your way, but you must come to him. Leave Yanquan and never return. Come to him, come him, come to him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Xiliang had shivered in the trench, afraid that he, too, would join his friends in the land of the dead, but just as he was ready to give up all hope, he felt a warm breeze enveloping him and it was as if he was lying next to Meng Jiang. His chest and thighs sizzled in heat. His toes and fingers thawed, grew warm, and he could feel his warm blood flowing through his veins. Slowly, he was a new man, as his heart pumped rapidly, warming his entire body from chest to neck to thighs to face to fingers to toes. The goddess is with me. She is sending me Jiangnu. We will be together again. I'll feel her warmth . . . and she'll feel mine.

Xiliang slept peacefully for the first time since he had left Yanquan, knowing his fate was sealed, knowing the goddess would rescue him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

First thing in the morning, Jiangnu dragged her mother out of her bed, "Help me. We must make winter clothing for Xiliang. I must take them to him; he is freezing."

To-Ra yawned. It was too early in the morning for her to think about anything other than sleeping. Finally, she said, "If Fan Xiliang freezes, he freezes. Your marriage was never consummated and you will never see him again. We must find you another husband; we must find a man to take care of you."

Meng Jiangnu walked away, I'll make the clothes by myself if I have to. The goddess, Kuan Yin, will take care of me and I shall find Fan Xiliang.

To-Ra screamed after her daughter, "You've always been a stubborn girl. Wait until your father gets home, we'll see how stubborn you'll be then."

Meng Jiangnu paid no attention to her mother; she had stopped paying attention to her when she was nine. That was the day she became a woman and the day she discovered her destiny. "I'll go to Pan-Pan's house and get the cloth. I must make a winter coat for my husband, but remember, Mother, in the eyes of the gods, Xiliang and I are married. We've been married since we were betrothed." With that, Meng Jiangnu stepped out of her mother's door wondering if she would ever return, yet knowing now that she was free.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The goddess hovered over Fan Xiliang him, keeping warm for another day, knowing Jiangnu would come to him.


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Falling Trousers
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