I stood off to the side of the main lobby and watched the meet and greet. Effie was right, there were still quite a few girls who you could just look at and tell that they had been fans from the start. But there were actually quite a few more guys there than I had imagined that there would be. I noticed a few of them, obviously gay, were there to see Taylor.

Just watching the way they talked to him and the way they stared and smiled. I paused and wondered if I was that obvious. I did pay attention to Taylor during those moments, to see how he reacted to those guys and compare it to how he had reacted to me. I was actually shocked, I didn’t notice one bit of flirting, any hanky panky, winking or anything that I had gotten in the green room. He was polite, cool, calm and really laid back. After one particularly ‘flamey’ boy walked away Taylor glanced over at Zac and actually rolled his eyes a bit. I winced slightly, it was a natural reaction and he glanced over at me at that exact moment. I had never seen someone with a more ‘caught’ look on their face. He blushed and smiled sheepishly and turned towards the girl who was next in line.

Now I was truly curious. Was he that two faced, jaded and all that? Was it one thing to flirt with a guy in private and then basically make fun of another in public? I wasn’t sure if I liked this side I was seeing of him. I decided I had seen enough and went back to the green room to have another drink. Three more martini’s later and I felt a hand on my back.

“How many is that now,” Taylor smiled as I turned around.

“Not counting the one you walked off with, three,” I smiled.

“Don’t get too sloshed, don’t want to have security carry you out,” he grinned.

“Security won’t have to carry me out, because I’m not a mean drunk,” I smiled.

“I don’t get mean when I’m loaded, I get flirty,” I winked.

The alcohol was definitely having an effect on my reserve.

Taylor grinned.

“Well there is nothing wrong with being flirty, just so long as you know how far it goes and where to stop.”

Somewhere in my brain an alarm went off, but my head was swimming too much to care.

“Well one thing is for sure, you won’t see me flirting with you in public, God forbid I turn away and you roll your eyes,” I almost winced as it just poured out of my mouth.

Taylor stood silent for a moment and just sort of blinked.

“Yeah. . . anyways, enjoy the show,” he exclaimed as he walked off quickly.

“STUPID,” I scolded myself internally.

Before I could get more pissed at myself the other half of my brain told me it was obvious Taylor didn’t like being put in his place. Then again, who does? All I knew was I had probably crossed the line by saying that to him. God only knows why he does what he does. Who was I to question it or try and make him feel guilty for it? Then the angry side of my brain said that if he wanted to be a catty diva-bitch then who was I to care? I was ready to leave, this was total bullshit, but somewhere deep down something told me I absolutely had to stay.

I sighed and threw back the rest of my drink and turned around. Zac was walking up, I was sure it wouldn’t be pretty.

“I dunno what you said to him,” he started as I swore I felt myself leaning back from him.

“But thank you, he’s been a diva all fucking day,” he sighed as he sat down.

“I didn’t really do much,” I lied.

“Well it was enough, he’s stomped off to the dressing room.”

“All I did was call him out on rolling his eyes at that gay boy who was fawning over him.”

Zac started laughing.

“What?”

“You did that after he flirted with you in here, seriously man that rocks,” he high-fived me.

“What do you mean?”

“You called him out, he was acting that way for the fans. You know, just incase any of them noticed what that guy was doing, he was trying to cover his ass,” Zac started then stopped. I got the impression he had just considered that I might not be the kind of person he should be saying that kind of stuff to.

“Anyways, I’m Zac, you’re Will, nice to meet you,” he smiled.

“I guess he won’t be talking to me anymore tonight,” I sighed.

“Nah, give him till after the show, he’ll have cooled down, he’ll be all jazzed up from performing.”

“And he won’t hold it against me?”

“He might but I’d wait for him to get stoned before you try anything on him, he’s more of a show’er when he’s stoned,” Zac replied looking at his cell phone.

“What,” I coughed, totally confused again.

“Huh? Oh! You meant, oh sorry, I thought you meant his, oh no no, he won’t hold it against you. He just gets pissy when someone makes him look like an asshole. Even though he makes it pretty easy sometimes.”

“Well it really wasn’t my intention, honestly. Plus I’ve had a few drinks and all,” I sighed.

“Relax, go on out to the VIP area and watch the show, we’re doing a small one tonight so it won’t be more than ten songs or so.”

Zac got up and headed out to another door and vanished. I watched Isaac walk past a few times. Each time I waited for him to stop and say hello but he ignored me. It was strange, he wasn’t very social.

I got up and headed out to the lobby, it was filled with people including my aunt.

“So,” she smiled.

“Yeah you’re right I think,” I smiled half heartedly.

“I told you,” she nearly yelled.

A few people turned around.

“Geeze announce it to the world why don’t you,” I laughed nervously as I pulled her to the side.

“So what did he do?”

I glanced around, I could tell a few people were wondering exactly what she was talking about and their ears were tuned in our direction.

“Well we’re being eaves dropped on so I’ll just say that I’m waiting until after the show to test my theory, besides I pissed him off a few minutes ago,” I sighed.

“You? Piss someone off? How is that possible?”

“I’ll explain later, but it involved putting him in his place.”

“Yeah that kind of thing never goes over well with celebrities, even if they are nearly Z-List celebrities at that.”

Someone’s mouth fell open when she said it and I almost laughed. It was so obvious that people were listening.

“Well I’m going to go to the VIP area the show is starting soon, are you going to hang around?”

“Nah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay, call me afterwards and let me know what happens,” she gave me a hug.

“Oh and wear protection,” she said a little louder.

I groaned as at least three girls and two guys heads turned so fast I swore they would be wearing neck braces by the end of the night. She grinned and strutted off. I started walking into the auditorium, trying not to make eye contact with any of the people who were clearly staring at me. God only knows who they thought she was talking about. I could only pray that they weren’t thinking it was about Isaac. Bleah!

The show actually was better than I expected. In fact I almost felt bad for having lower expectations. The VIP area was more of a side stage area with direct eye contact with anyone on stage. I felt shivers quite frequently as I noticed Taylor had spotted me and smiled a few times. Zac was right, on stage Taylor seemed almost like a different person. More relaxed, more at ease. Watching him there, performing was like watching a wild animal in its natural habitat. You stared in amazement just because it seemed so beautiful, natural and at ease with an environment that you yourself could never handle. He truly was amazing. Not ignoring Zac or Isaac, they were great too, but Taylor seemed to captivate me the entire time, there were moments where it felt as if he was performing just for me, especially when he’d make the eye contact while sitting at the piano, or standing facing my direction, his smirk or smile. His wink or just that kind of glance that makes you tingle inside, that tingle that reassures you that you were the one being looked at. I was hooked, and I wanted more.

It all went by so fast that it seemed like it was over before it started. One moment they were on stage, the next they were bowing and tossing towels and water bottles at the front row. I watched as the fans moved like swarming ants towards the exit doors. I knew instantly they were probably crowding the backstage door area. I smiled to myself as I walked down the side into the hallway and towards that ‘private’ door. The same security guard let me pass and I glanced back over my shoulder at a handful of fans who were staring in awe as the door closed behind me. I had to smile, I felt special, important, whatever word you can think of that fits, I felt it. I owed it all to my aunt and I would make sure she knew just how much it meant to me.

I turned and found the green room nearly empty. My heart dropped and I looked from left to right. Literally no one was in sight, all the boxes were gone, the bar had no one behind it. Everything looked like a ghost town. Apparently everything had been packed up during the show. Off to the left hand side was a door with an exit sign. I walked over and pushed it open only to be met by a chorus of screams that died just as instantly as they began. Obviously one of the guys was still inside. I looked behind me but couldn’t quite figure out what to do so I stepped outside and followed the barricades down to a really nice looking tour bus. I heard whispers and such as I walked past. A few people said “it’s him” as I passed by. I tried not to smile, but seriously. What on earth could they know about me besides what they thought they heard Sylvia and I talking about? I forced myself not to smile, they wouldn’t know I was amused at their assumptions, they would just think I was an arrogant asshole. I got to the bus and took a deep breath and pulled the door open and stepped up inside. Leaning forward and through a curtain I saw Zac sitting on a nice leather sofa. He glanced up with a slightly confused look on his face and then smirked.

“Have you seen Taylor,” I asked.

“Um, no, he’s still inside I think,” he smiled.

“Okay thanks,” I stepped out and closed the door. I turned and headed back up the walk and passed everyone again. Yet again more whispers and suddenly a voice.

“Hi, who are you?”

I turned to face a girl standing against the barricade.

“Uh, no one.”

“Then how do you have a pass?”

I started to try to think of how to reply when security came out of the building. They headed my way and stopped when they saw me.

“Are you with the Hansons,” he asked.

“Um,” I started to reply when an older looking man came out of the bus.

“Is there a problem,” he asked.

“Yeah, we can’t find,” he paused “the middle one.”

“Taylor,” I asked.

The man that came out of the bus apparently was their father, I heard a few fans calling him Mr. Hanson. I crunched up my brow, why was their dad on tour with them?

“I’ll look inside,” I exclaimed as I headed in.

After re-entering the green room I looked around. Off to the side of the bar was a black door marked ‘stairs.’ I tilted my head to the side and shrugged.

I huffed it up at least three flights of stairs and came to one door marked ‘roof.’ Pushing it open with a creak I walked out into the night air and turned to see Taylor sitting on a metal A.C. unit on the roof. He was smoking and looked up at me suddenly shocked.

“It’s cool man, it’s just me,” I smiled.

He seemed relieved.

“Hey,” he coughed slightly as I walked up.

“Security is flipping out,” I smiled.

“Why?”

“They said they lost you,” I laughed and then stared in shock when I not only saw, but smelled the weed.

“I told them I’d look inside,” I grinned as I stared at the joint pinched in his fingers.

“Don’t ask,” he exclaimed bluntly.

“Geeze, how nice,” I laughed.

“No, I mean don’t ask it’s all I got left until tomorrow night.”

“Oh, okay, no problem,” I smiled.

“You won’t tell anyone will you?”

“Nope, if you let me have shotgun,” I grinned.

He smiled so wide it caught me off guard.

“Sure,” he grinned as he slid over giving me room to sit next to him.

He took a hit and held it in. I stared at his face, my head was spinning and I wasn’t even stoned yet. I tried to calm myself, my hands were almost shaking uncontrollably. He opened his eyes and leaned in close, so close and just as he exhaled I inhaled the secondhand pot smoke.

I sat back a bit and felt that familiar itchy feeling deep down in my chest. I was shocked, never before had shotgun felt so strong in my chest. He either had really good weed, or a set of iron lungs. The thought seemed funny to me and I coughed a bit and exhaled. He smirked and took another hit and held it in while I watched. Then he motioned and leaned in again, only a bit closer this time, I could almost feel his mouth against mine. He exhaled and I inhaled, repeating the same thing again. Only this time his eyes only barely opened and he didn’t pull back as quickly. This time, neither did I, keeping our faces less than an inch apart, we looked at each other. This time I didn’t laugh, I didn’t cough, I slowly let the smoke out of my nose, it burned a bit but not enough to distract my gaze from his absolutely gorgeous eyes.

“One more left,” he whispered, his lips brushing against mine, his breath tickling my mouth.

That feeling crept up my neck. That loose, warm fuzzy relaxed feeling that starts deep and slowly spreads over you as the effects of the weed start to take control, it was wonderful. My eyeballs felt warm and fuzzy, my fingertips were tingly and all I could see was Taylor. I watched him take another deep hit until the joint nearly vanished in his pinched fingers. He flicked it away and rubbed the tips on his pants and held in the hit. I stared at him, watching his beautiful blue eyes scan the skyline. The gentle wind blowing back the longer locks of hair in his face, it was breathtaking. He looked over at me and smiled as best he could while holding it in. Then he leaned in and put his hand behind my neck, weaving his fingers through my hair and pressed his mouth against mine. He exhaled through his nose this time as I felt his tongue press into my mouth. I slid up against him and wrapped my arm around his torso and pulled him tighter against me as our tongues twisted and turned, rubbing against each others as cats rub against one another. My brain was numbed out by the weed, my internal voice quieted, but deep down I couldn’t believe it. We were really, truly kissing.

He pulled back slowly, gently tugging on my bottom lip with his teeth for a fleeting second. He dipped back in again momentarily to kiss my mouth and lick my bottom lip, curling his tongue up and dragging it over my teeth and over my upper lip. My lids felt so heavy, but I knew they were wide open, his face was all I could focus on, that and the feel of his body pressed against mine, his tongue licking me.

“I’m sorry for being an ass earlier,” I whispered.

“Shh, I deserved it, I was being a bitch,” he muttered as he kissed my mouth again and smiled.

“This is as far as it goes, isn’t it,” I dared ruin the mood.

He sighed quietly and closed his eyes and nodded slightly.

“I can’t risk it,” he whispered as he looked up at me, his brows furrowing.

“I understand,” I lied.

He kissed me one more time. Just as our tongues touched the door creaked open loudly and Taylor nearly flung me in one direction as he dove in the other. Being stoned made it feel like the earth just moved.

“Whoa man, chill,” Zac laughed.

“You better get down there, security got Dad all worked up and Jammer is having a cow,” he warned.

“Gotcha, be down soon, I gotta wrap up some stuff,” I heard Taylor reply on the other side of the unit.

Zac smirked at me and turned and leaned over the edge of the roof and gave two thumbs up and then went back inside.

“Your dad actually tours with you,” I asked in near disgust.

He combed his hair back from his face as he sat back down.

“Seriously how old are you guys now?”

“It’s because of me,” Taylor sighed.

“Lemme guess,” I began.

“Don’t, it’s really complicated.”

“So he’s here to keep tabs on you,” I guessed.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. I was right.

“You are gay aren’t you,” I said more than asked.

Taylor continued to stare down at his feet.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “That was rude.”

He sniffled a little bit and shook his head again.

“I hate labels,” his voice cracked softly.

I really felt like an asshole now.

“I’m sorry,” I began as he looked up at me.

If I had felt bad for what I had said a moment before, I really felt horrible at that moment. I had never seen another person in my entire life look at me the way he did at that moment.

“It’s so easy for you,” he cried softly.

I opened my mouth to reply but closed it.

“You don’t have fans, who expect you to be one way or another.”

He sniffled and coughed slightly.

“You weren’t brought up in a family that condemns something inside you that you never chose to feel.”

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his. Those windows to his soul were wide open and what I was seeing was the Taylor Hanson no one had ever seen. Raw, in pain and alone.

“I’m,” I began.

“Shut-it,” he coughed as he shook his head.

“You think I enjoy pretending to be someone I’m not?”

I stared in silence.

“You think it’s easy to live a double life?”

“I’d give anything to be me, but I can’t,” he sighed as he looked down again.

“Says who though,” I asked as he continued to stare down in silence.

“Says the only people who really care.”

“Who is that?”

“My family,” he coughed again.

My mouth dropped open. The sheer thought that he was going through this much turmoil, because of his family blew my mind.

“Your family should want for you, what’s best for you,” I started as he looked up at me again.

“I’ve heard this from countless people, really I have,” he shook his head.

“Well they were smart people then.”

“It’s always so easy to give advice when you don’t have to live the life I live,” he wiped his face and stood up.

I paused and then stood beside him. “Listen, all I can do is give you my number,” Taylor changed the subject.

“Do you really want to stay in touch,” I asked almost in shock.

“Yeah, for once I think I would,” he smiled with some kind of internal amusement.

“You know I used to have a huge crush on you back years ago,” I decided it was time for me to open up a little bit.

“Oh yeah,” he grinned slightly glancing up at me.

“Yeah, never in a trillion years did I ever think something like this would happen.”

“I’d imagine not,” he laughed as he adjusted his clothes.

“So did I let you down, besides me being two-faced and all that earlier,” he asked as he really looked at me, in a way that made me feel all dizzy again.

“No, not since I thought about it.”

He blinked and tilted his head to the side.

“I mean, yeah I thought you were a complete ass for that moment down at your meet and greet table, but after thinking about it all, I get it. It doesn’t bother me.”

“I was talking about our performance,” he laughed quietly.

“OH!”

I felt like an idiot.

“Your amazing on stage,” I smiled.

I watched as his eyes lit up.

“Really, it’s like you’re more comfortable there,” I tried to explain.

He continued to stare at me, sending my head into outer space.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s like, when you’re not on stage, you have to think about everything you say, how you say it and what your body language is.”

He nodded.

“But on stage, all the words are there, waiting for you. You don’t have to think about it, you can be free, and relaxed,” I explained.

“And happy,” we both said at the same time.

I froze as I watched his face ball up again as tears began running down his face.

Without thinking I pulled him into a hug.

“It’s okay,” I tried to console him.

“I get it, I really do,” I ran my hand over the back of his head, combing my fingers through his hair.

“No one ever does,” he sobbed into my shoulder.

“On stage you’re the man under it all that never gets to have time in the spotlight. You’re free to just be you,” I felt him nod against my neck.

“That’s why you do it, that’s why you go through so much hell off stage, because onstage it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“How are you doing that,” he cried.

“Doing what,” I asked as he pulled his head back to look at me.

“You see right through me,” he sniffled. “Am I that transparent?”

“Oh God, no Taylor, it’s not transparency, it’s just something I feel when I look at you, I can,” I paused.

“What?”

“It sounds stupid.”

“Tell me,” he swallowed hard.

“I can feel you,” I turned red in the face.

“Even though we just met, I can feel you, I understand you,” I tried to explain as I looked down between our chests.

There was silence, silence I interpreted as a request to continue explaining.

“You hate labels, you hate judgment and ridicule. Just like anyone else. But for you it’s different, the judgment restricts you because of how it effects your family. You just want to be happy, and to live and be yourself. It shouldn’t matter who you like or what you like or what you do. It shouldn’t matter to people, the music is what should matter. It’s what binds us all together, the music and the performance. What goes on backstage or in your own life isn’t something you should be held accountable for, especially when it comes from within your heart.”

I dared look up at him. His mouth hung open wide.

I started to say something but it was smothered by his kiss.

Our mouths pressed together once more and everything swam around me. I felt weightless, floating. As I opened my eyes I was suddenly slammed against the roof. I screamed in pain and looked around to see Taylor struggling to stand just a few feet away.

“What the fuck,” I yelled.

I heard glass breaking and glanced up at the buildings beside us to see the windows shattering.

“Oh my god,” Taylor screamed as he watched the roof off to our left start to collapse.

My brain cleared as if a tidal wave rushed through it. Instantly I knew exactly what was happening.

“What is,” he yelled as the roof below him began to sag.

“Earthquake,” I screamed over the roaring of breaking glass and squealing metal. I reached for his hand. We both turned for the stairs.

Suddenly it all went into slow motion. The small door way to the staircase sank out of sight into the roof. I looked over at Taylor and watched his eyes go wide as his mouth opened into a scream. The roof collapsing beneath him I did the only thing I could think of, I leapt into the air, towards the gaping hole and grabbed him by the shirt as I felt my body impact with the twisted metal of the roof edge. His scream filled my ears as I felt his hands grasp and tug violently at my arms trying to hold on. I cried out in pain as his grip caught strands of my long brown hair and ripped it from my scalp. My eyes flooded with tears as I felt the edge of the broken roof digging into my stomach as my body slid farther over the edge. Below Taylor I could see the ruined auditorium floor. If he fell from my hands. . . he surely would die. I could not let that happen.

“Stop thrashing, please,” I begged screaming.

His eyes were wide, I wasn’t sure if he could hear me.

“Taylor dear God please stop thrashing, you’re pulling me down,” I cried and screamed in pain as I felt my skin being sliced and gouged.

He looked up at me, eyes wide, blank with fear.

“GOD DAMN IT TAYLOR STOP!”

Suddenly he blinked and looked at me and grew still.

“Just please be still,” I sobbed. “Oh God, please be still,” I gasped.

“I’m about to slide off,” I gasped as I felt the roof sag some. I could feel my weight shifting, it hurt so terribly bad.

“Oh, God please,” I cried out loud.

“Please don’t, please don’t,” I cried as I opened my eyes, and watched Taylor staring up at me.

“Please, please don’t let me die,” he whispered as tears streamed down his face. His voice so soft I knew I heard it with my heart and not with my ears.

“Dear God, please do something,” I cried out loud my voice cracking.

Suddenly a loud explosion ripped through air behind me. The sheer volume caused me to scream and clench him tighter as I suddenly felt the roof farther behind me collapse. At first I thought that was it, that it was over. My fingers slid over his skin as he sank another inch.

“I’m sorry Taylor, I’m so sorry,” I cried.

Then I felt the roof beneath me sink backwards, allowing me more leverage. If Taylor could get a foot hold, he wouldn’t fall.

“Taylor, can you see anything to put your feet on,” I moaned painfully as his weight tugged on me as he looked down.

“Some beams yeah,” he coughed as smoke began to rise around us.

“Try to push up, if you can give me at least six more inches I can get you over,” I grunted pulling upwards on his shirt.

I suddenly felt him lift up and he smiled as he grabbed my arms.

“There, I’m on a support,” he smiled.

“Come on,” I pulled and heaved him up higher until he could get a leg over the edge.

We both turned and saw that the roof rippled and sloped completely down three floors to the pavement. The entire front of The Roxy had collapsed.

He turned to me and hugged me, I screamed out in pain, my stomach and ribs were hurting so much that I was scared, nothing minor hurts that bad. Nothing superficial takes your breath away like this did. It really was bad, so bad I was scared for him to see.

His hug turned into kisses. He held my face and kissed me hugging me tighter causing me to sob uncontrollably in pain.

“Taylor,” I cried as my stomach began to hurt even more.

“You saved me,” he cried as he hugged me again, I felt myself starting pass out, white spots began to pop and burst in my vision. Somewhere inside I knew I was going into shock. It felt as if I was sinking into the back of my head. Everything began to sound so far away. He pulled back and looked down to see my jacket and shirt covered in blood.

“Oh my God,” he cried as he lifted my shirt to see my stomach lined with cuts and gouges.

“Your stomach,” he gasped.

“Your arms,” he cried covering his mouth.

Suddenly everything started getting fuzzy and white. My vision blurred and stars began to pop and sparkle.

“Help us,” I heard his voice start screaming frantically as I fell back in his arms.

“Someone please,” I felt him pull me against him, lifting me up in his arms.

It hurt so bad, my arms, my knee, my stomach it all hurt so damn bad.

I opened my eyes one more time to see Taylor, he was frantically screaming for help. Every second or so he would look back down at me and beg for me to stay awake. I felt so far away, so distant. His face called to me through two small holes in the darkness. His voice grew fainter and fainter. I could feel myself being passed from his arms into someone else’s.

“Don’t let me go,” I whispered to him as I reached for his face. The last thing I saw was my hand slipping down the side of his face dragging my blood with it. His eyes filled with tears as he looked down at me.

“Don’t!? Oh God don’t,” I heard him cry out as everything went dark.