I was excited. There was no other way of putting it. It was the Monday in the second week in January and I was getting ready to go back to school. Normally, this is cause for much feet-dragging but this time I didn't mind one bit, This was because I had one very good incentive which happened to be about 5'7", have long blond hair and a smile to die for, not to mention a really cute little brother and a hunky older one. And I'd be with them for the next FOUR WEEKS!

Somehow, my headmaster (who I now thought was an even greater guy than before) had managed to arrange an exchange between my English public school in Derbyshire with Tay's high school over in Tulsa. All this had been agreed in the car park of the NEC in Birmingham some weeks previously when Walker and Diane Hanson had turned up the day after the concert, their flight having been delayed. (Just for those who want to know, the rest of that week went very well indeed - Tay took me to a recording session at a studio in Birmingham where we somehow ended up making out on the mixing desk...)

Anyway, it was Saturday afternoon and I was nervously awaiting the arrival of my boyfriend (we'd now made it official - telephone numbers and e-mail addresses had been swapped along with various bodily fluids) and his two brothers. Communication had been good this time over the last few weeks - thanks to the internet and a conferencing tool that comes bundled with a certain web browser (I'm not naming names here!) long distance phone calls had been avoided, the only drawback being the time difference between the countries.

I heard the dog start to go ballistic outside and my heart skipped a beat. I legged it downstairs and out the front door to see a taxi (driven by someone strongly resembling Apu from the Simpsons) pull into the drive. Tay leapt out of the back and ran into my arms, hugging and kissing me. Ike levered himself out of the passenger seat at the front complaining that his seat wouldn't adjust so he had to sit in a space designed for a pygmy... Zac leapt out of the back, full of energy, and wolf-whistled at me and Tay.

"Shuddup, dip-shit,"

"Make me, lover-boy," taunted Zac.

"YOU ARE SO DEAD!!" Tay broke the hug and sprinted off after Zac round the garden, the dog going wild in his pen. Ike took the opportunity to pay the taxi driver and give me a hug and a peck on the cheek. He seemed so much happier and at ease with life than I remembered, and seeing the laugh-lines round his eyes once more made me smile too.

Zac and Tay, meanwhile, were still racing around on the lawn making a suitable amount of noise. Tay was gaining on Zac and an untied shoelace allowed the capture - Zac tripped and landed flat on his stomach. Tay, unable to avoid his brother, fell directly on top of him, knocking the wind out of both. Tay gave Zac a noogie for good luck and walked back over to me.

We unloaded their bags from the taxi and dragged them inside.

"You tired after your flight?"

"Aw, man, you wouldn't believe it - there were about a hundred kids on our flight, all of them as hyper as Zac. Rest was not an option..."

"Well, there's no rest for the wicked - we've got to go uniform shopping now..."

My parents greeted Ike, Tay and Zac with renewed enthusiasm - they hadn't quite known who they were (shock horror!) last time they met, and were now suitably awe-struck. However, once they realised that they were really just fairly regular kids, they settled down a bit. We all then piled into our Discovery and headed for town and the rip- off merchants that stocked the uniform...

My dad dropped us off right in front of the shop so we didn't have to walk through the shopping area without the comfort of Kevin lumbering around behind us. We walked into the shop and announced our intentions to the shop assistant, who pointed us upstairs. As we walked up the large, supposedly elegant flight of stairs, a conversation between two of the girls behind a counter stopped dead. We did our best to ignore them and I guided them round to the uniform section, and loaded them up with the regulation maroon polo neck jumper, green V-neck, tie, white shirts, trousers and black shoes.

I suggested they all go try their new clothes as the sizes given were, from experience, more guidelines than sizes. Each of the brothers disappeared into a changing booth. A few minutes later, Tay emerged wearing the maroon poloneck. Surprisingly, it all fitted fairly well, the trousers just being slightly too long in the leg.

"It's actually quite comfy. You sure you don't have to wear the tie?"

"Only if you want to wear the V-neck. There is one disadvantage with this uniform," I said, moving closer to him and checking that no one was watching.

"Yeah? What's that?"

I grabbed his crotch and rubbed him gently through the thin material, and immediately felt him start to get hard as he groaned ever so slightly. A few moments later when he had a proper hardon, I turned him round so he could see himself in a full length mirror.

"That," I said, pointing to the most noticeable hard-on bulge in history. It really was not funny how obvious these trousers made it, and to make matters worse the pockets weren't deep enough to adjust yourself...

"Oh great," said Tay. "How am I gonna survive this if I'm gonna be sat next to you all day? All I have to do is look at you and I pop a woodie..."

"I'm the same," I said. "Just be aware of it. The only real way to get round it is to trap it under the waistband of your boxers..."

Zac and Ike then emerged from the other two changing rooms. Again Ike's fitted him fairly well and for once someone looked good in that idiotic green V-neck and tie, but Zac was absolutely swamped, the trousers barely holding onto his hips and the jumper sleeves about two inches too long. I took Zac, found a shop assistant (one of the gawping girls) and asked if they had the jumper and trousers a couple of sizes down.

"Helloooo? Jumper. Pants. Too big. Need smaller." he said to the non- responsive shop assistant in his "retard" voice he reserved for such occasions.

"Oh, er, one moment, sir..." she stuttered and vanished into the stock room, only to reappear a moment later. "Pants?" she asked, blushing slightly.

"Pants, trousers, whatever..." said Zac, waving the legs of the ridiculously large pair he was wearing at the moment.

"Oh, sorry," she smiled shyly, and disappeared again.

"Geez, you'd have thought they'd never served a customer before," smiled Zac, putting on the zombie-like expression the assistant had.

Once we'd managed to get everyone suitably kited out, we took the whole lot to the desk to find what the damage was, and Ike sheepishly produced a rather new looking credit card. "Mom forced me to have it. She said I may need it in 'emergencies'."

"Excuse me, sir, are you Dean Lidster?"

"Uh, yeah," I replied, either shocked that I was known here.

"Your headmaster called saying your school will be footing the bill for this as part of the exchange. You don't need to pay..."

Ike looked rather relieved as the display on the cash register read _324.87. It would've been a lot for just a fortnight's stay, but the school is very picky in that aspect. However, they had also said that they weren't too picky about games kit - the Hansons could use whatever they had. This was quite unusual as games kit was actually considered school uniform and had to be worn "correctly" when required (e.g. PLAIN white T-shirt and white shorts for indoor games, school issue reversible top and blue shorts for outdoor games etc.)

Anyway, shopping completed we headed back to the car, laden with shit-coloured plastic bags full of tasteless school uniform. When we got back home, I ran over a bit of what they could expect from the school, both good and bad.

A fifteen hour day is about the norm, getting up at about half six to seven o'clock, having a shower and then walking up from the boarding houses to the school itself to catch breakfast. Zac had it easy here as he was to be in the Junior Boys' house, which was actually on site - no mile-and-a-half walk for him...

After breakfast, the whole school did a ten-minute clean-up of the school, each pupil being given his own specific area that was his or her responsibility. Then straight into chapel where, if you were lucky, you could catch up on the twenty minutes' sleep you felt you should have had in bed this morning as opposed to walking in to school.

After chapel were the first three lessons, all forty minutes each, taking you up to eleven o'clock and morning break. Catch a quick drink and a biscuit, and twenty minutes later you're into periods four and five. After that a fairly decent hour and a half for a fairly indecent lunch and some free time.

Two o'clock and you're back to work for the next two hours, breaking at ten past four for another drink and biscuit. Twenty to five and another two lessons until six. An hour for an evening meal and a little free time and then (no, we're not finished yet) "assignments" until half past eight where you do any work set for you during the day / on previous days (it's supervised and no talking's allowed). And, just to round things off, a nice mile and a half amble back to your boarding house. A little TV and believe me you're quite ready for bed at half nine.

Ike, Tay and Zac just sat on my bed, jaws virtually on the floor wondering what the hell they'd let themselves in for.

"And we do this EVERY day?" asked Tay after a moment's silence.

"You get a half-day on Wednesdays and Saturdays when you can wear your own clothes and do pretty well what you want. Then again that's when we play games fixtures against other schools, so if you're in a team you loose most of your free time. You don't need to worry about weekends, though. You can come home with me if you want..." I said, evil grin on my face.

"So when do we leave?" asked Ike, still looking apprehensive.

"This afternoon at about three. The earlier you leave the better the bed you get! I don't know who they'll have assigned to you as a Guide though. I tried to get you into my house, but there was only room for one of you. Don't worry, though, someone'll take you on!

"Zac, Gareth should be there already so you'll be VERY well looked after... Just remember, most of us are a friendly bunch and if you have any probs, just ask! We don't have 'freshmen' as such - just be yourself.

"Oh, and remember to take your rollerblades - they make the walk up in the evening so much quicker! AND SMILE!! You won't be made to work _that_ hard..."


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