We turned left out of the airport onto interstate eleven, and then right onto the Keystone expressway, skirting the top of the city and heading east out of Tulsa itself into the surrounding countryside. At first, I could not understand what didn't feel right about the journey, and felt distinctly uncomfortable until I realised we were driving on the wrong side of the road! I smiled to myself and put my arm around Tay. He smiled back and hugged me to him, obviously happy to be back home.

In a relaxed silence, we traveled the ten or so miles to the Hanson's abode, eventually pulling off the expressway and into a sleepy little green suburb.

"Well, here we are," announced Tay as we pulled into the driveway of the houses. I guess I knew what to expect, but even so the house seemed surprisingly, well, ordinary...

As we stepped out of the car, a group of kids rode by on their biked, happily chatting to each other as they went. I'm not quite sure what it was, but that combined with the car and the style of the housing suddenly summed up everything I considered as American - films like "Stand By Me" suddenly taking on a new depth as I tasted for the first time the environment they were set in.

"Are you coming, or do you intend to stay out on the pavement all day?"

"Huh? Oh," Tay grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house.

"...And of course, Dean," smiled Diane as the six of us filed through the door, Gareth and Tony making their introductions to their boyfriends' mum. "How's my fifth son?" she smiled, giving me a tight hug.

"He's very well, thankyou," I smiled back.

"Now guys, I really don't know where you're all gonna sleep, but we'll manage... It's a squash enough as it is."

"I'm sure we'll manage," smiled Zac, shooting a glance at Gareth who was still in the "meeting parent" mode, smiling sweetly and acting the good boy.

"Well, Jessie's sleeping over at a friends across town for a few days, so if I can persuade Mackie to sleep in Jessie's bed, that'd free up Mack's room... Ike, would you and..."

"Tony,"

"Tony, like to sleep in his room, then the rest of you can sleep in the bomb site. It'll be a squash, but it'll have to do."

"That'd be great, Mrs. Hanson,"

"Dean - you're practically family! Would you quit with the Mrs. Hanson thing already? Makes me feel old..."

"But you are old, mom," grinned Zac, then legged it off towards the garage with Gareth in tow.

"I think you need to have a word with Dean's mom, mom - she came up with a rather cool method of Zac control... I may as well give you the ten dollar tour, Dean - c'mon..." he smiled, taking my hand and pulling me into the family room.

I suddenly had the feeling I had been here before, and then it clicked. "Wow - you really filmed the MMMBop video here?"

"Yeah - we couldn't think of anywhere better - the garage would've been good, but its too dark down there. Kitchen's through here, den's just over there," he continued, aimlessly waving in their general direction. We reached the stairs and he legged it up them in the way he had obviously done for many years. "And up here, we have mom and dad's room, Jessie and Avie are through there next to them, Mackie's there on the other side, and we got the bombsite down the hall."

He wasn't kidding. Posters, bedclothes, underwear, a pack of assorted felt tip pens, CDs, a gameboy and God knows what else was randomly strewn across the room. "Mom's actually scared of coming in here I think," he smiled, shoving a pile of clothes and a baseball bat off his bunk and onto the floor then casually back-heeling them under the bed. "Zac's on top and Ike gets the single."

I sat down next to him and, even though I knew in my heart that they were just "regular kids" as he'd put it the miraculous sight of a bedroom in a worse condition than mine brought the realisation well and truly home. I pounced on Tay, pushing him back and pinning him with the weight of my body. I brushed the stray hair out of his eyes, and gently moved my lips towards his. Tay closed his eyes in anticipation of the seemingly inevitable kiss that was to follow, but as soon as he did, I dived for his neck and gave him a hickey he wasn't likely to forget, biting hard at his delicate skin. Tay howled and arched his back and hugged me to him with every available limb, determined to get a couple more square inches of contact surface out of the embrace, both our hearts beating like it was going out of fashion.

"Taylor you wannabe hippie where the hell ar..." said a voice that I did not recognise as it walked into the room and saw the two of us wrapped in each other.

I released Tay's neck from my mouth and whispered into his ear "Do I get off you or do I just hope that I'm invisible?"

"Can't you knock, Kieran?"

"I... uh... sorry, man... I'll come back in a while when you're through..."

"Stay RIGHT where you are! Kieran, this is Dean Lidster, Dean, meet Kieran Haynes, long time friend, next-door neighbor and homo-sceptic! Do you actually BELIEVE me now?"

I rolled off Tay and looked up into the face of a tall lad with brown hair that was trimmed at ear length and centre-parted. As my eyes traveled down his torso, I suddenly realised just how well built he was - he wasn't exactly square jawed, but the lines to his face were very pronounced giving what's best described as a streamlined look. Moving on down, his shoulders had broadened in correlation with his deep baritone voice, and the sweater he was wearing just lightly hinted at the immense set of pectoral muscles that were concealed behind it. Just peaking from below the sweater was the bottom of his basket encased in tight blue denim that, if my mental extrapolation of the curve was accurate, meant most of the stallions in the local stud farm would've been put to shame. The tight jeans continued down an appropriately powerful pair of legs to his CAT boots. Woah...

"I guess so... Man, you really dig that queer shit don't you?" he said, looking at the damp bulge in Tay's trousers.

"Well what did you expect, Einstein? I am queer, ergo I like 'queer shit'! See Dean - typical jock: Strong as an ox but twice as thick..."

"Pleased to meet you," I grinned, extending my hand. Kieran tentatively grasped it, and was visibly shocked by the pressure of my grip. "Just 'coz I'm gay doesn't mean I'm a wuss,"

"I, uh, guess not,"

"So whatcha want K?"

"Just to say hullo,"

Tay and I looked at each other. "HELLO!" we both yelled, waving violently at him.

"Sit down, Kieran. I told you that I was gay like ages ago - don't look so shocked!"

"I guess I didn't want to believe it, man," he said, slumping down on the edge of Ike's bed, not maintaining eye contact with either of us for more than a couple of seconds at a go.

"Why not?"

"I dunno... It's... I dunno... Tay?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Freakin' out like that - I guess you guys just took me off guard, that's all. I'll be OK. Oh, and you might want to get that looked at..."

"Huh?"

"Your neck - looks like some wild animal's been at it!"

"It has," I grinned.

We chatted on for a bit and Kieran became progressively more at ease with us until he became what I assumed was his ordinary, exuberant self. By this time, the conversation had turned to sport, and the time-honored 'Football vs. Rugby' debate. In this case, I was hopelessly outnumbered, and was forced to resign to the fact that Football was by far the most superior, vicious and enjoyable sport - "period."

Having lost on that count, I decided to suggest something that I was half-decent at - Football. I got a strange look from both Tay and Kieran, and hastily corrected the suggestion to Soccer. Jesus this could get confusing. As you may or may not know, all of the Hansons are quite keen soccer players, Football being a little on the dangerous side for their insurer's liking!

Tay suggested we go and have a kick around for a while, so off we set towards the back yard (I'd have called it a garden, but what do I know?) and found Ike, Zac, Tony and Gareth already knocking the ball about. Tay, Kieran and I joined in, and inevitably the game very quickly turned to United States versus United Kingdom.

There was no denying that the States were good, but we were better, all three players on the UK team being in the appropriate First football team.

As the twelfth UK goal ricocheted off the back of the garage marking a convincing five goal lead, Diane yelled for us to come in and eat. Having been late for the plane this morning, we had all completely forgotten about the small issue of food, and as a consequence we were all ravenous. As we walked back into the house, an exquisite smell of freshly cooked food wafted into my nostrils, causing my mouth to water uncontrollably. This is where the fact I was now in an American household really came home: never in my entire life had I seen such a gargantuan breakfast laid out - melon, orange juice, coffee by the gallon, toast, hash browns, breakfast sausage, scrambled eggs, pancakes and maple syrup, the infamous Eggo waffles and various cereals.

Zac's eyes visibly widened and he dived for a chair and promptly began stacking his plate with anything he could balance on it.

"Didn't they feed you over there?" asked Diane, perpetually amazed by the sheer volume of food #3 son could shovel into his mouth, and then ask for more.

"Kinda, but not properly," he mumbled, sending a shower of partially chewed waffle over the tabletop.

Diane shook her head and suggested that we all had better start eating before the "garbage disposal on legs" ate it all.

The conversation took the form of the typical "getting to know you" style, each of us having been talked about, but Diane never having had much of a chance to talk back to us. Diane had had very mixed feelings when Taylor came out to her. She wasn't disappointed - far from it - she was just slightly concerned that perhaps she and Walker had done something wrong in his upbringing... Had they paid him enough attention? Had they paid him too much attention even... However, as Tay talked to her, she soon realised that this was no snap decision, and he had obviously been thinking about it long and hard.

It had been difficult for all of the kids to lead a 'normal' life - if there was such a thing - in their younger years: Living in the middle of nowhere with nothing but a record player for company really couldn't be healthy. The decision to home-school came from necessity rather than choice, as there really were no schools in the area to speak of. As it turned out, when they moved back to Tulsa, the level of their schooling was ahead of their peers and, not wanting to throw that advantage away, decided to continue.

The thing that most concerned Diane about her son's choice of lifestyle were the dangers - homosexuals weren't renowned for being treated well in general and as one, he would be in the highest risk category for STDs. However, Tay had assured her that he was all too aware of the dangers that he may well be faced with, and had already considered as many consequences as he could think of.

An hour or so later, we were all feeling terribly full, bar of course Zac who was still happily packing away the calories.

Gareth, Tony and myself cordially thanked Diane for the meal, and were told not to be silly - just eat and enjoy. Zac was collared to help with the washing up, and the rest of us decided to get out of the way before some other menial task was allocated to us. Gareth being the loyal friend he was dutifully stayed behind with Zac and offered to help with the washing up. Ike and Spider bounded off into the garden again, Leaving Tay, Kieran and myself.

"So, whaddya wanna do?" Asked Tay, swinging my hand back and forth between us.

"Well, seeing as I know absolutely jack all about the States in general, why don't you take me to one of your 'malls' then?"

"That'd be cool - I need to get some shit anyway," chipped in Kieran, glancing uneasily at us holding hands every once in a while. "You know what'll happen if you're seen in public like that," he said, glancing down at our joined limbs.

"I know," said Tay, looking exceedingly annoyed. "Why can't I just go out and be myself?"

"Because you'll go and break the hearts of a few hundred thousand adoring girls, cutiepie," he laughed, pinching Tay's cheek.

Tay laughed and batted his hand away. "Fuck you!"

"TAYLOR!" yelled Diane from the kitchen.

"Sorry, mom!"

"You'd better be, young man. I won't have that kind of language in this house, you hear me?"

"Yes, ma'am,"

Kieran suggested we go over to his house, as his folks were out for the day. We all agreed, as the last thing Tay wanted to happen was to be grounded while I was over. Kieran was on a roll, though, and continued his taunting.

"Just think, Tay - every night I bet there are thousands of little girls pumping themselves and yelling your name..."

"You're gonna have your ass kicked so badly in a minute..."

"'Oh Taylor, unnngh, Taylor, TAYLORRRRR'!" he screamed in a high pitch voice, throwing his head back in a feigned orgasm.

"You're so freakin' dead!!" he yelled, lunging for Kieran who skillfully maneuvered himself out of the way, and legged off down the pavement - sorry, sidewalk - with Tay in hot pursuit.

The reason Tay was so annoyed by Kieran's taunting was that from personal experience, he knew that what he was saying was just about spot on. Some of the slogans and quotes on the banners that were waved at him he couldn't believe were actually saying what they were saying, never mind being brandished by twelve-year-old girls. Then again, Zac was twelve and he was more perverted that Dean and himself put together...

Hayley was just such a girl, but at fourteen had a far more defined idea of what she wanted to do with Tay WHEN she got her hands on him. There was no if. She WOULD have him. After all, she had managed to get everything else she wanted one way or another, so why not the object of all her fantasies?

Ordinarily, such thinking could be dismissed as sheer teen lust, however Hayley had a very distinct advantage over the rest of the Hanson fans in the world: She lived in the same street. In fact, she knew Tay rather well - one may go so far as to say personally, Tay always shooting her his killer smile and giving her a courteous - if indifferent - "Hi Haley" whenever they passed. She was ACKNOWLEDGED by him. This was far more than any of her friends could claim, and it just made her fantasies stronger; so strong, in fact, that she would often experience a small orgasm if she got within twenty feet of the guy.

Hayley was unquestionably and unhealthaly obsessed. She knew and even acknowledged the fact, but she was also blinded to reason by this obsession and so whenever she had the chance, she would tail him. Not obviously, oh no: To do so would reveal her true motives to Tay and spoil her plan - she was far more subtle than that. She was just waiting for the right moment to get him exactly where she wanted him: trapped in her bedroom. It sounded stupid and corny, but none of that mattered to her. As far as she was concerned, if she could manage that, the rest would just follow naturally.

She had heard from her parents that the Hanson boys were coming back today, so she decided to go and check for herself. She checked herself over ensuring that all the right bits were showing in just the right places, and confidently walked out of the front door.

I watched as Tay and Kieran slipped off the sidewalk and started leapfrogging over the picket fences that surrounded the front yards on either side of the street. By this time, Kieran had a good two-front- yard lead on Tay, him having stumbled on the third fence. He was determined to kick the bastard's arse, though, so he was going to be sure that escape was not an option for him. As he cleared fence number nine, someone walked straight out of the door into the front yard, directly into Tay's path.

By the time I had yelled it, I was way too late. I had to do it on principle though. "WHATCH OUT, TAY!"

Tay's "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" and Hayley's rather impressive scream echoed down the empty street, and I legged it up towards them.

Taylor's and Hayley's trajectories intersected at a text-book perfect ninety degree angle, the now combined mass having enough momentum to carry both of them a good four feet in the direction Tay had been running in.

I arrived a couple of moments later, and couldn't help but burst out laughing. There was Tay, flat on top of a girl about my age with her legs wrapped right around him, a look of utter bliss on her face. Groggily Tay opened his eyes, and found himself staring straight into Hayley's eyes, which now possessed that all too familiar misty, vacant look.

Tay hastily decided to get up, but soon found himself restrained by the very girl he had just creamed.

"Er, Hayley - I'd like to stand up now, if that's OK with you..."

It wasn't OK with Hayley. This wasn't quite in her plan, but nonetheless Taylor Hanson was in exactly the place she had wanted to get him for the last couple of years: On top of her with her legs and arms wrapped tightly around him. The thing that got to her was the things she hadn't even thought about like his smell and, perhaps more importantly, the unbelievably good feeling of the bulge between his legs pressing hard into her.

The realisation of what it was that was making her feel so good down there sent her over the edge. She squeezed herself even tighter against him and shuddered as wave after wave of orgasmic bliss traveled from her crotch, bounced off the top of her head and traveled all the way back to where it came from.

I very nearly pissed myself with laughter. It was more than obvious as to what was happening, and the mixed look of revulsion and abject horror on poor Tay's face was all that was needed to express his opinion.

By this time, Kieran had noticed the absence of his persuer, and jogged back to find out where he'd got to, and soon joined me in laughing his bollocks off

Tay pushed his arms inside of Hayley's and levered apart her vice- like grip, allowing him to breathe again.

"I need a little help here, Dean," he appealed as he could only hold one pair of limbs apart at a go. Still laughing my arse off, I grabbed Hayley's sneaker-clad feet and dragged them apart, so allowing Tay to scramble clear.

The realisation that Tay had escaped brought Hayley back to earth with a thud, and she shot me a death-stare that Russell would've been proud of. Then again, she was a girl, and that feature comes as standard across the model range...

Tay hurriedly walked round to me and stood almost half behind me, as if trying to hide from Medusa's stare which I have to admit did seem rather potent.

Methodically, Hayley picked herself up and straightened her clothing, suddenly becoming a little self-conscious when her hand encountered the small wet spot at the front of her cut-off's. v"Uh, s... sorry," said Tay, swallowing hard. I just looked at Kieran.

"Seems like I was right," he grinned, causing us both to crack up again.

Tay subtly kicked Kieran in the shins and jabbed me in the ribs, us both biting our lips to stop us from bursting out into fits of laughter again.

"Oh, Taylor, you're bleeding!" exclaimed Hayley as she did her best to eye Tay up and down. I turned to look at him and indeed, Tay had managed to gash his right knee on the rocks at the edge of the path when he fell. Without saying a word, Hayley grabbed Tay's hand and dragged him towards the house, his protests going completely unheard. In fact, the look on his face was not too dissimilar to that of a man sunk up to his neck in quicksand...


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