"Dude," Will gasped as Zac walked up.

"Hey man," Zac barked.

"Your hair," Will groaned as he threw his arms around Zac's neck.

"Heh, yeah it's gone bye bye," Zac laughed as Will squeezed him tight.

"Shit, when did this happen?" Will asked as he let go and pulled back to get another look.

"It feels like decades ago but it was just last month."

"It looks good," Will smirked as it seemed Zac began to remember that he originally had not liked it when his parents pushed him into the chair.

"It's been a month or so, so yeah it's grown some," he smiled.

Ashton cleared his throat.

"Fuck me," Zac laughed.

"Neah, got plans. Take a rain check," Ashton laughed shaking Zac's hand.

"Good to see you man, been a while huh?"

"Yeah, it has."

"So how's," Zac paused trying to remember the name of the girl Ashton had brought to their concert that night way back.

"Hey don't ask me. I can't remember her either," Ashton laughed.

"So yeah, Ash is gonna take us down to the Chelsea Piers and he'll probably pick us up or we can hitch a ride with one my friends."

"You don't have a car yet?" Zac asked.

"Why does he need one? He mooches off of everyone," Ashton laughed as they got into his Explorer.

"Yeah, you know those ads are only gonna be popular for so long, so I'm saving every penny I can," Will winked.

"I'd save my money if I could," Zac muttered.

"Hmm?"

"I can only touch what mom and dad let me. Sure she can go buy herself a new car, but," Zac trailed off.

"Mind?" Will asked as he held up his cigarettes.

"No," Zac replied quietly. "Same kind as Taylor's."

"Yeah that's what," Will locked up suddenly as he almost gave away that he had talked to Daphne.

"That's what, what?" Zac asked.

"That's what," Will paused. "A lot of people smoke."

"Oh."

Ashton glanced over at Will with a strange look.

"Probably wondering why I'm acting weird," Will thought to himself as he glanced over at him briefly.

*          *          *          *          *

"And no smoking in the house while I'm gone. I got a nice private garden in the back you can plant your ass out if you're gonna be smoking," Daphne finished as she headed for the door.

"I'm just gonna crash out for a while," Tay yawned before he gave her a hug.

"Alright, call me if you haven't heard from me and it seems late," she smiled as she closed the door.

Taylor walked barefoot down the hall and made the short turn into Daphne's bedroom.

"Ooh, that's nice," he murmured as he flopped back in her soft bed.

*          *          *          *          *

"Hello," Will exclaimed picking up.

"Hey, I'm here where are you?" Daphne asked.

"Where you should be," Will replied.

"I thought we were meeting up at," she started.

"Yeah, but by my watch it's not three o'clock yet," Will laughed.

"You said three'ish," she barked.

"Actually you said three'ish," he chuckled.

"Ah, fine, I'll just chill out at the 63rd Street promenade," she exclaimed.

"Alright, I'll be there in a few."

"You said 'I' and not 'we,'" Zac pointed out to him.

"Yeah they don't know you're going to be with me," Will smiled.

"Oh great, dude I hope they aren't a teenie," Zac groaned.

"Gee thanks," Will frowned.

"What?"

"You thinking I'd hang out with teenies," Will pouted.

"She is not a teenie," Ashton exclaimed, his face suddenly wincing as he realized he identified her gender.

"She?" Zac asked. "You're taking me to meet a girl," Zac laughed sitting forward.

"I'm not saying anymore for fear I'll have to join the Witness Protection Program and move to a remote island off the coast of," Will paused.

"Antarctica," Ashton finished.

"I hear it gets cold there this time of year," Zac laughed.

"Shut up, ugh just relax," Will sighed shaking his head.

"I don't know if I can give you a ride, so just call in enough time to get another ride if I can't ok?" Ashton asked.

"Will do dude," Will smiled as he got out.

"Peace out homie," Zac exclaimed in his best gangsta' ghetto accent.

"Yeah," Ashton replied with a quirked eyebrow.

"Shit, get lost freak," Zac laughed slamming the car door.

*          *          *          *          *

Daphne glanced up from the hot dog stand and glanced over at the curb as she saw Will get out of Ashton's Explorer. It was a nice sunny day at the Piers. A good sized crowd of people crossed between them, only allowing her a brief view of another person getting out of the back seat.

"Hey you," she smiled as she pushed past a couple.

"Hey," Will smiled.

"So who's your," she froze.

"Hey Will wait up, I," Zac grew quiet and slowed to a stop.

Daphne glanced over at Will. The look on her face was obvious to Will. She was in shock.

"You didn't tell me," she whispered so quietly that he almost didn't hear her.

"Yeah I know, but then it wouldn't have been a surprise," he grinned.

Daphne took a few steps past Will and came to a stop. Zac moved a few feet forward, the space between them no more than five feet.

They both began to speak at the same time, then grew quiet.

"You first," Zac exclaimed.

"I'm sorry," she spoke softly as she stepped forward.

"I," she paused. "I don't really know what more I can say."

Zac remained quiet, his hand fidgeting with his pants pocket. Will stood behind Daphne quietly watching the tension build.

"I'm sorry too," he muttered glancing down. "I was really stupid, to be so-"

"Don't, I was the stupid one," Daphne cut him off.

"I was the one who deep down all along wanted you to want me," she trailed off and smirked.

"Daph, that's the thing," he whispered as he walked up to her.

"Ever since the day I hugged you and kissed you outside our house, while mom and dad watched," he whispered as he ran his hand across her cheek.

"I've missed you so much," he swallowed hard. "Every time I thought of you even getting to spend time with your friends, I got jealous."

She remained quiet, her heart reeling from the amazing feeling she got staring into his caramel colored eyes.

"As the days passed, I felt you were forgetting me," he grew quiet knowing his voice would crack and give away how close he was to the verge of tears.

"It's selfish," he whispered. "But."

Then he took a deep breath, and from within his throat came a quiet soft voice.

"I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I love you to love me, I'm begging you to beg me," Zac almost finished as Daphne reached up and pressed her mouth to his.

*          *          *          *          *

Tay stood there, on the docks, Will's back to him. He couldn't force himself to speak up. The knot in his throat was too large. The fear of rejection in his chest too great. He turned and began to walk away as he heard his name.

"Taylor?" Will's voice asked in question.

Taylor slowly came to a stop and turned around.

"What the hell?" Will growled walking up to him.

"I'm so sorry," Taylor began as Will walked up to him.

"What are you doing here? why are you tormenting me?" Will hissed as he pushed passed Taylor.

"Will wait," Taylor gasped suddenly as the fear in him retreated briefly enough for him to speak.

"Wait for what, for you to hurt me again?" Will growled as he stomped further down the dock.

"No, Will I won't. You don't understand. There are so many things you don't," Tay screamed as tears poured down his face.

"Yeah, there may be a lot of things I don't understand, but there is one thing I do understand," Will stopped and turned to face him.

Taylor grew quiet and came to a stop.

"Your love for me is something you can switch off and on depending who is watching you. You can allow other people to control your life. You can pretend you're beyond having to face reality, face facts and stand up for yourself. You don't have the guts to be you. You couldn't be you if your life depended on it. Because you've become so settled in being the you the public knows that the idea of being true to yourself scares the shit out of you."

Taylor felt the color drain from his face. The words slicing through him. His mind reeled. Had he been that way? Had he allowed those things to happen? Did he let what other people thought about him control how he lived. All those questions rushed through him.

"I love you Taylor but I don't love YOU, Taylor Hanson, because you aren't the person I've fallen in love with. I'd rather die than go back to that hell and that torture and pain," Will hissed.

"Please, don't say that," Taylor sobbed as he stepped closer.

"Every step closer to you, is a step closer to a world where I hurt. A world where I suffer and a world where you place me in the closet with the rest of the things about you that you're afraid people will reject you for," Will exclaimed tears pouring from his face as he stepped back further.

"I won't do that. I won't allow people," Taylor began as Will turned and looked over his shoulder.

"It'd be better off if I just wasn't even here anymore, for you, for me, for everyone. Then you'd have your happy little existence," Will whispered as he leaned back, his feet slipping off the edge of the dock.

"Will no," Taylor screamed diving through the air between them, slamming down hard on the wooden dock, his elbows slamming painfully into the planks tearing his shirt and skin.

"Will," he screamed as his hand caught Will by the wrist.

"Oh God, no," Taylor screamed as he felt his hand slipping, Will's body dangling at least twenty feet above the water.

"Don't Will please, let me save you," Taylor gasped.

"Taylor," Will whispered as he looked up at him.

"I don't want you too," Will whispered as his hand slipped further through Taylor's fingers.

"Will please, please no," Taylor sobbed.

"Remember," Will whispered.

"Remember these eyes," he glared, tears pouring down the sides of his face.

"Remember how you've hurt me," Will coughed as rain began to fall.

"Because I'll never forget," Will gasped suddenly as his hand slipped free of Taylor's grip.

"No!" Taylor screamed at the top of his lungs, his body scooting almost half way off the dock franticly trying to reach Will as he dropped out of reach.

Taylor screamed as he watched Will drop further and further until the splash of water over took him. He screamed and sobbed as he stood and kicked off his shoes and pulled off his shirt.

"I'm not going to let you go!" Taylor screamed as he jumped over the side.

The rush of the fall caused him to gasp as he felt himself dropping feet first. Then just as it had began he felt his feet and body slam into the ice cold water which caused him to scream as his face sank below the surface. He coughed and sputtered and gasped for air and then dove down and opened his eyes.

The dark gray murky depths of the Hudson River seemed impenetrable. Not a strain of light seemed to pierce the darkness.

Taylor swam deeper, the pressure in his ears reaching a painful stab. He felt his lungs burning as he knew he was just seconds from needing another breath. Then, just a few yards down he caught sight of something. He swam deeper and strained to see. A figure limp in the darkness, he lurched forward in the depths and grabbed almost blindly, his hand grasping something. Tugging with all his might he pulled into view Will's hand and then the rest of him appeared in the dim gray light.

Taylor heard himself scream into the water as he saw Will's pale skin and open eyes staring blankly at him, his mouth barely open. He coughed and choked as he struggled to surface. Will's hand slipping from his grip as he almost reached the surface. He gasped for air, the oxygen stinging as it hit his lungs. Then he dove under again, Will's face and figure sinking deep beneath him again almost overtaken in the darkness below.

Taylor threw himself deeper, his finger tips brushing through Will's hair as it moved lazily in the water as his body dropped deeper. Struggling against the dark water he swam faster catching Will's hand momentarily only pulling him back enough to cause his head to drop back, his face staring up at Taylor. The throbbing in Taylor's lungs was beyond his comprehension. The pain and searing in his ears unbearable. Taylor looked up and felt his mind spiral as he could no longer see the surface. No longer could he see faint lines of light. All around him was darkness, the only thing to comfort him was the faint outline of Will's body as it sank deeper.

Taylor felt his mouth open as the spent air in his lungs rushed from him. The darkness so great even the bubbles had no sparkle or reflection. Taylor felt his hand grip Will's shirt as he sank down deeper beside him. The outline of his body a dim gray against the pitch black all around him. Will's face almost indiscernible in the darkness. He felt his mouth open as his body gasped for air that it would not get. His lungs flooding with ice cold water. He felt himself heaving and lurching as he tried without success to rid himself of the water that made his chest throb and pulse in pain.

Slowly Taylor found he wasn't struggling anymore. The panic of trying to breath when he couldn't seemed to have faded now. He felt, almost drunk with disorientation. His mind felt foggy, his vision blurred in the darkness. No longer could he see. The only thing he could feel was Will's cold stiff torso in his arms, and his soft hair brushing against the side of his face as he hugged him tightly.

"I'm not going to let go," Taylor heard his mind sigh as the feeling in his arms and legs began to fade like an old photograph.

He saw things from his childhood slowly play across his vision. The faces of his family flashing by slowly. He felt a slight pain in his chest as he realized he'd never see them grow up and have families of their own. He shook the feeling from him and tried to squeeze his arms tighter around Will when he realized Will was no longer in his grasp. He was alone.

He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry. He wanted to desperately try to find Will. But he couldn't. His thoughts, his feelings and dreams, while still very much alive found no instrument to use as his body had passed on quite some time before. It was that moment Taylor realized it was over. Suddenly he saw himself, his face emotionless. His eyes staring blankly into the darkness. His arms clutching someone who was not there. Sinking quietly and slowly deeper and deeper.

Above him he felt a warmth, light streaming down from above he turned and looked. There in the darkness of the river streamed from above him light brighter than the brightest days on the most beautiful beaches in the world. Spirals of light and energy flooded down around him. A feeling of peace, and happiness seemed to fill him. He glanced down, tinges of the light illuminating the water. He nearly turned to follow the light when he caught sight, something moved. Something deep behind his lifeless body thrashed briefly. He strained in his state of spiritual existence. He strained to see with eyes he didn't even have.

He gasped, it was Will. Some how, how, he wasn't sure but some how, he was alive. He saw him move, something moved. He sank again and went deeper. The light still shinning above. He sank deeper, quickly reaching the darkest point; the movement seemed to be just ahead. Suddenly he felt the warmth leave, the light closed out. Just as the light vanished he felt himself falling, darkness rushing around him.

He screamed.


On to Chapter Sixteen

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A Love Incognito is Copyright © 2000 by Taylor W. Quest.
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All applicable copyright laws apply. All individuals depicted are fictional with any resemblance to real persons being purely coincidental.

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