It wasn't my home, but we were going home. I couldn't be sure why. Phillip knew what he wanted, and maybe the family farm gave him a comfort he didn't get anywhere else, but Samuel was lingering in some dark region in between life and death. The doctor was sure a journey of any kind would kill him.

"You know you'll probably kill this boy taking him out of here," Dr. Doncaster said.

"If I leave him here, do you promise you'll save him?" I asked.

The doctor stepped back once hey placed Samuel into the wagon beside Phillip. I closed the tailgate, and I found me facing the man who kept them both alive for two months. When I got them here I didn't know if they were even alive. This was a good doctor, before I met Phillip, I'd never gone against what a doctor told me to do, but the doctor had done all he could for Samuel, and Phillip was getting stronger..

"Doctor, I can't thank you enough. I wire you and let you know how it goes."

I reached out to shake his hand before walking around to climb on to the seat of the wagon, I made sure to shake the reins easy, and I clicked my tongue. The horses responded by starting their walk on a journey that would end with us at Phillip's parents' farm.

I left $500 under my plate once I finished with breakfast. Susan had found it by now, because she didn't leave dirty dishes on her table once the eater left. She'd know why I did it that way, and she would respect my need to leave quietly without any fuss.

I arrived like a tornado coming off the Kansas plains. I arrived in the middle of the night and disrupted the calm and peacefulness at the doctor's house. I had been treated like an invited guest, and they cared for me like I was a member of their family, not like a rude interruption to their rest that I was.

It's hard to say if the horses remembered our mad dash to town. I didn't really remember any of it, except I wanted them to sprout wings and fly. They now walked as slow as I could get them to walk. I feared they could fall asleep on me, but they walked and I prayed. If either of them got into trouble, I didn't know what I would do.

Phillip wanted to go home, and I was taking him home.

Phillip knew what he wanted, but the doctor warned I might kill both of them taking them out of his care. I was going to do it Phillip's way, which usually turned out for the best.

I walked the horses all day that day, stopping to let Philip and Samuel drink from the fresh water in the water barrels, and I had enough broth to feed them to keep them alive until we got to the place where Phillip had been raised.

I didn't know why he wanted to leave the doctor's care, but it went best when I did things Phillip's way. I didn't know why we would leave the doctor's house, where both of them were getting the best medical care possible, but I rarely knew what motivated Phillip.

We left Goodland on the main trail going west.

Samuel moved his lips as I dripped water and then broth into his mouth. The motion of the wagon had jiggled his reins enough that he responded to the nourishment. He was whiter than white, but he always was, and I was just glad he responded at all. Had he not drank. Had he not taken the nourishment from the broth, he'd have died for certain, but he was still alive. Phillip was alive and he watched me with Samuel. They'd both be sleeping by the time I got out of the wagon and closed the tailgate.

Susan told me she put sedatives in the broth, and they'd sleep most of the way to where I was going. She was the doctor's nurse and knew almost as much as he did, but she also knew you sometimes needed to let a patient do it his way.

When we loaded Phillip and Samuel in the wagon, Susan stood as a silent witness to our departure.

I was betting two lives on this journey. If I kill one or both following Phillip's order, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. It wouldn't be the same without Phillip and Samuel in my life.

Phillip was whiter than white, which wasn't how he normally looked. He spoke to me, held the cup he drank from, and he watched me attend to Samuel without saying anything. He was right there if Samuel got into trouble. He would be with him if the boy died. That had to be enough once I got back on the seat and shook the reins easy like.

They knew to go at a walk. It was a familiar gait they'd gone at since leaving New York.

I sat alone on the wagon seat as the harness jingled from the motion of the walking horses. I didn't know if they'd both survive the trip, or if one might live to get to the cabin. I had biscuits and, some pork to nibble on and a bottle with coffee. The coffee was cold, but it hit the spot. It had a good coffee flavor and it made me smile when I drank. It helped me to stay alert.

It was on the second day, Phillip had me roll up the canvas on his side of the wagon. He had been elevated enough to see out. I thought it was a good sign that he wanted to use his senses to monitor our travels, but he was looking for the trail we'd take.

Late in the day he spoke up.

"The trail we want is on the right a mile or two from here. Take the trail. It's the trail to the cabin," Phillip said. "It comes out behind the cabin. You'll pass two cutoffs. Don't take either. If you go straight ahead, it will end up at my father's farm."

I did as I was instructed. He'd told me it might take a week at this pace, but the cabin was close enough that he'd taken it two years before, He went to the cabin in the valley where the river runs, before he made the trip to St Louis and then on to New York.

He wanted to make sure his parents knew he was alive and well and Phillip Dubois, trapper, wagon master, and surveyor needed to go east for his employer. He couldn't tell them he was about to become nursemaid to a land speculator, because he didn't know it yet.

By stopping at his parents' farm from time to time. Phillip let them know he was alive and not in any danger he knew about. This message would be passed on to his father's nephew, Running Horse.

"Tall Willow is alive and well," his father would tell him.

Running Horse would look to the east during visits that came once or twice a year. Running Horse might not return to his uncle's farm at all, but he needed to know his lover was alive and still out there somewhere. It made it possible for him to remain hopeful that one day, they might be together again.

I smiled when I thought of the top of the mountain where we were surveying. I was sure when I stood there, I could see forever, but I didn't see the cabin we were heading toward.

I had to stop the horses, unhitch them, leading them to water and then let them graze on the third day. After a couple of hours, it was back on the wagon seat and our trek west. I did sleep a little while the horses grazed, but worry kept me awake, even when both Phillip and Samuel were sleeping peacefully.

I only stopped to attend to them, and less frequently I stopped to tend the horses, They'd been grazing and standing around the doctor's house for over two months, and I didn't think the five or six days Phillip said it might take was too much for them.

Phillip spoke to me a few times. He was well enough to use a cloth for Samuel to take both water and broth. Phillip was more worried about Samuel than he was worried about himself, but I worried about both of them. On the fourth day, they were doing fine.

I tried to guide the wagon to miss any uneven places on a rather flat trail, but from time to time the wagon shook and shimmied in rough spots as we progressed in a familiar direction. We were in the sixth day when we reached the place Phillip guided me to.

We'd passed two cutoffs on the trail. One went south for those who wanted to go south. The second trail lead to the town Phillip told me about, when he told me about his father. I'd need to go into town to do the business we needed to do, but I would only go to the bank and the post office.

I sat behind the cabin on the wagon seat. There were two men directly ahead of me a few hundred yards away, and the cabin was quiet. I was half asleep then one of the two men came running toward me. The second fellow trailed along behind.

"Is it my son?" Phillip's father wanted to know. "You have my son?"

"Mother,' the man yelled before going to the back of the wagon.

The oddest thing happened then, a wolf, and I'm sure it was a wolf came around the corner of the barn, and he took off running toward us. I fumbled to reach for the double barrel, but before I knew it, he'd leaped into the back of the wagon, and giggling and laughter erupted.

"I missed you too, Demon."

Another mystery had been solved. Demon was Phillip's dog that was a wolf. How come that didn't surprise me? Their reunion was heartwarming.

His dog was a wolf.

"Tall Willow?"

"I'm fine. Take care of the boy. He needs you. I'll be all right, Paw. It's the boy I brought for you to heal. You know all of Medicine Woman's secrets. Save him. He's like my son."

"Simon, give me a hand," Phillip's paw said.

Samuel was whisked into the house by the time Phillip's mother stood holding her son's hand.

Now, I knew why Phillip had brought Samuel here. His father was raised in Medicine Woman's lodge. He knew all her secrets, and the medicines that kept their village healthy.

"He said you'd come?"

"Paw?" Phillip asked.

"Yes, Gregory will come home soon. What happened?"

"Ambushed. Shot up pretty good. Just left the doctor's place. I want Paw to save Samuel."

Samuel was in a bed made up under one of the cabin's windows.

His father checked his wounds and left the bandages on his chest.

"Come on, Simon, I need to gather medicine. You know what I need. Come and help."

The roots and herbs looked familiar when Phillip's Paw began adding them to the mixture he was preparing over the fire. He moved with the precision of a surgeon, knowing just what to add and when it should be added. This was why he wanted to come home.

Phillip sat at the table while his mother prepared hot food for him to eat, and Simon and I watched the activities. I was invited to sit and while I had trouble keeping my eyes open, I did enjoy the hot food. I needed to go to tend the horses, but I was sure they didn't mind if I had my first hot meal since leaving Goodland the week before.

Simon went with me and he did as much work as I did, when we unhitched the horses and took them to drink. Of course, Simon knew the farm and I didn't, but we got the horses taken care of and we let them go in the meadow to graze in front of the cabin.

When I went back inside, Phillip was sleeping in a bed made next to Samuel's bed, and a third bed had been prepared to me, and I slept around the clock. I woke at first light the next morning, but I fell back to sleep, even when I smelled the fresh coffee. I had to be tired to smell coffee and not want to get up to get me a cup.

When I wasn't seated beside Samuel's bed, Phillip was. We both talked to him and encouraged him to open his eyes and speak to us. Some nights I would wake up and see Phillip sitting in the chair next to Samuel's bed. I never realized how close Phillip and Samuel had become, but Phillip was as concerned about the boy as I was.

Samuel wasn't talking. He had grown more restless, moving around in the bed, when he hardly moved at all at Dr. Doncaster's house.

When it was time for his medication, Proud Eagle sat next to Samuel's bed, holding the frail boy in his arms as he let him drink the medicine at his own speed. Once the medicine was gone, he was given a cloth saturated in broth filled with nutrient rich liquid.

One day as he was being held, his eyes popped open. I was standing in front of the bed, Phillip stood behind his father. We stayed close to Samuel, hoping for some sign he was alive and on the mend.

"His eyes opened," I blurted. "His eyes are open."

I admit that the taste of that medicine could open the eyes of the dead, but Samuel wasn't dead. We now had the first proof he was alive, and possibly on his way back to us.

My coming back from the death sentence Dr. Jones sentenced me to was because Phillip knew Medicine Woman's drink that cured the ill. Samuel's healing would be far more miraculous, should he come back in some form that was like the old Samuel had been.

We took turns sitting with Samuel. We wanted him to know he wasn't alone, and we were still by his side, as we'd been since the day we rescued him. He'd been at the center of our lives since then. He'd come to life at the cabin on the mountain, and then he was shot.

Phillip was by no means healed. He had trouble breathing and he could walk, but it was a slow walk. Usually he walked out to the front porch after dinner, and as they did when he was a boy, he watched the mountains with his father, and I helped them watch most days.

Sitting on the front porch with us was Demon, when he wasn't sitting watch over Samuel. As happy as he was to have Phillip back, Demon took an instant interest in Samuel. When anyone came near to the sleeping boy, Demon needed to approve the approach. He took his new responsibility seriously.

I didn't want to get on Demon's bad side, so before I sat down, I let him smell the back of my hand, and after I stood inspection, he allowed me to sit next to the boy he'd adopted.

It was slow going. Winter arrived at the cabin in the valley where the river runs shortly after we did. It had been months since the shooting, and Phillip was getting stronger as the days passed. One afternoon, out of the blue, Samuel sat up and threw his feet off the bed on to the floor. He looked around the room like he was trying to figure out where he was.

Demon stood up and Samuel let his hand feel his fur. He gave Demon a long look before lying back down.

We'd all been there to see it. No one got too excited. It was a good sign.

"He's going to be fine," Proud Eagle told us, once Samuel began to respond positively. "It will take a while longer, but he's going to be fine."

I'd been lead to believe otherwise, but doctors I knew had been wrong before, and while the trip might have killed Samuel, it didn't, and he was put in the hands of a man who knew his mother's medicines. I wondered why doctors hadn't come to Indian villages to investigate how they stayed healthy. A doctor told me I was dying, but I lived. A doctor held out little hope for Samuel, but he was healing, and he might live.

Maybe doctors didn't know everything.

Phillip drank the liquid that helped him to grow strong in Medicine Woman's lodge. He didn't complain when his father made enough of the liquid for both Samuel and him. The medicine enhanced the immune system to heal the body and strengthen them.

As time went on, Samuel sat up and looked around. He knew he was a stranger to this place, but he didn't ask where he was. The first time he got up, Demon stood up beside him. Samuel stroked his fur like they were old friends, and after that, if you saw Samuel, you'd see Demon beside him. Oh, he didn't desert Phillip all together. Once we put one more chair on the porch for Samuel, Demon sat between Samuel and Phillip.

I wanted to ask Samuel how he felt, but it was a useless exercise. Samuel had nothing to say, and all through January and February, he had nothing to say. He liked keeping Phillip and me in plain sight, but he didn't ask what happened to him, where he was, or what was wrong with him that saw him even thinner than when we found him.

He began sitting at the table at the end of February, and he began walking when Phillip walked in mid afternoon when the sun was high and the temperatures might rise above freezing, and there between them walked Demon. If I walked with them, I brought up the rear. I didn't mind tagging along.

Seeing Samuel on his feet was a good thing. Seeing him walking was better. I had never been happier. We were all still alive. We all brushed up against death. Somehow we'd beat death, and we were ready to go on living.

The two people I was closest to were alive if not well. They were healing, and except for Samuel's silence, I was happier than I had been since the incident at the cabin on the mountain where our surveying was done.

At times, when both Phillip and Samuel slept, Proud Eagle sat with me. He wanted to know how I came to be with Phillip, how he was shot, and how I came to bring him to the cabin in the valley where the river runs. I had no image in my mind about how Phillip's father might be, but he was a curious man, who wanted to know about his son.

Sheriff Petre knew where to get a hold of us if he had more questions. When I rode into town with Proud Eagle to get their monthly supplies, I walked across the street to the telegraph office. No messages were waiting for me. I wired Susan and Dr. Doncaster, "They're both alive and on the mend."

I didn't explain. There were some things beyond understanding, and trying to explain Indian medicine to a doctor would sound like voodoo to him. I simply said they were both getting stronger, which meant I felt better, but I didn't need to write that part.

I wired George a similar message, explaining a little more about where we were. I could not give him a date when we would be leaving for Denver, but I was almost certain we would still be going to Denver once hey were both strong enough to travel. George was in close contact with Dan in St Louis. I knew he'd pass the message along to him.

We sat on the porch every night after supper, while Phillip's mother cleaned up after us. The mountains were as beautiful as any I'd seen. I could see how they might be a big attraction to the fourteen-year-old Gregory. I felt a desire to get closer to them.

We watched the snowcap work its way down the mountain in the fall. In the spring the snowcap withdrew until it only covered the top of the mountain by mid April. It required coats to sit out after supper in the winter, but as April was winding down, we could sit out in a shirt sleeves in the evening.

We walked to the river quite often. It rushed past the cabin in dead of winter. Except when it rained, the river began to retreat down its banks at the same time the snow line withdrew on the mountain. The rains came in mid April, and like Phillip described to me, the river ran out of its banks for almost two weeks.

During early April I was as fascinated by how the river ran as I was by the mountains off in the distance. The changing of the seasons came with far different results than I was accustomed to from my time in the South. I did remember seeing the Mississippi River running miles out of its banks when I was waiting to go to Arkansas to buy some land. I never thought much about it while I waited in Memphis, but the water didn't come up to my door while I was in Memphis. This river did.

Simon came each day to help Proud Eagle care for the farm animals. It was a difficult time that saw them both in waist deep water in some places, but all the farm animals were on high ground that stayed above the water. The cabin was built on the same high ground but I could hear the water lapping at the front porch when we sat out in the evening.

In mid April, the water receded , It took a week for the pastures to dry out in the bright sunlight. One day after we walked to the river, Phillip undressed, went down the bank, and he submerged his body into the slow moving water. I'd only see his wounds once, and there was a powerful lot of cutting down to get those bullets out of him, but with the loss of weight came ugly looking scars. It was almost May. The river was well within its banks. moving ever so slowly past us in water that wasn't over Phillip's head by that time.

Once Phillip went into the river that was quite tame now, Samuel followed him, doing the same as Phillip did. The only difference, Demon went in when Samuel went in. I didn't go right in. I knew it was April, and I knew that water was freezing, but I roughed it and I would bathe when they did. Maybe they were going swimming, but it looked more like bathing.

It was toward the end of April that Phillip took up walking to the river to watch the far bank. Somedays he'd sit on the near bank to watch the far bank, and other days, he'd walk down to stand and let his eyes take in the far bank for as far as he could see to the west. Standing as still as a statue, he might not move for an hour.

I walked with him, but I couldn't stand in one spot for that long. Some days it ended with him going into the river to rinse off, and some days he'd turn around and walk back to the cabin after an hour or more. I suspected we were waiting for something to happen. I didn't have the slightest idea what we were waiting for, but when Phillip walked to the river, I walked behind Samuel and Demon.

One thing hadn't changed, where you found Phillip, you found Samuel, and where you found Samuel, you found Demon. They'd be on the south bank of the river. Some days they'd stand and look west, and at other times they'd sit and look west.

I didn't know what we were looking for. Even when we went into the river that was warming up as the level of the water dropped, we never crossed to stand on the north side. We stayed on the side with the pastures and the cabin, and it was always in the afternoon, once the day had warmed considerably.

It turned May before I found what Phillip was looking for. It might be more accurate to say, who Phillip was waiting for, and the reason for the sadness I saw in Phillip was revealed, when a lone rider appeared as far down the river bank as I could see.

At first he was too far away to see him clearly. As he came closer, he grew larger, and it was plain to see the slow rider was an Indian. By that time, Phillip stood up, and he went down the river bank, and he crossed in what was knee deep water by May.

He climbed up the west bank, and he stood facing west. He was content to stand there for a while, but as the rider came closer, Phillip started moving. At first he was walking, and then, he picked up speed, as he moved toward the lone rider, until he was running.

The horse stopped, the rider came off on to the ground, and he stood looking at the man coming toward him. He began moving toward Phillip, as Phillip ran toward him, and when they collided, they grabbed a hold of each other and went in circles.

I heard the laughter as they fell down in each other's arms. The rolled, they laughed, they giggled, and they grew quiet as they locked eyes and looked deep inside of one another.

I could hear the laughing and giggling. There was pure delight in their meeting. Samuel hadn't crossed the river with Phillip, and he stood beside me, taking it all in. Phillip was a staid man. He didn't give a lot away in the way of emotions. Seeing him this happy, and finally finding out who he was waiting for, made me smile inside and out. I looked to see Samuel's reaction, and he too was smiling.

It was a private moment, but it was heartwarming to see, and Tall Willow and Running Horse didn't know anyone else was alive. They had been separated for too long, and the reunion was long over due, and they held each other tightly.

After years of being a part, they came together again. As love went, this was a great love. Romeo and Juliet, Anthony and Cleopatra, Tall Willow and Running Horse, love stories worthy of great literature. Love stories true to the spirit of love.

No one said loving was easy, but it was the best thing they did, and great love never ends. So, it's worth the wait, no matter how long it takes, but for Tall Willow and Running Horse, the wait was over. No matter what else happened, their reunion was glorious. Seeing, touching, holding each other was glorious.

They both knew, to live, they had to part. Running Horse needed to be chief for his people. Tall Willow had to be Phillip Dubois if he wanted to live, and Phillip Dubois kept moving further and further away from Running Horse. Then, a chance meeting with a bank president in St Louis had Phillip beginning to move further and further west, which would inevitably bring Tall Willow and Running Horse back together.

Once the rolling stopped, Running Horse was on top, Tall Willow was under him. They looked into each other's face, their eyes, and they saw into each other's heart, and their blood began to simmer.

The kiss was a kiss for the ages. Neither knew where it started, and neither wanted it to end. Their lips were meant to meet in the way no other lips met their lips.

It was deep, passionate, and it closed the gap in time when the lips they kissed were nowhere to be seen. When those lips had left them. The kiss closed time and distance.

"You are not well. You too skinny. Too white."

"You no love Tall Willow any longer?" Tall Willow asked.

The next kiss was a devotion of all the energy stored for a time when his lover would come home to him. Running Horse lost his mind, his very being, inside of Tall Willow. The kiss took them both away from the river bank to a place only true love can go. They rolled and laughed and giggled without moving a muscle. Their minds mingled in way few minds do.

With Running Horse back on top of his lover, he saw the years melting away, but there was one truth he knew, and he told it to Tall Willow.

"Running Horse love Tall Willow."

"Tall Willow loves Running Horse."

"You come home. I take care of Tall Willow. You grow strong. You be Pawnee."

"Can't. I told a man I would do a job for him. Once I do job, I come home."

"You come here only to leave me again?" Running Horse said.

He was on his feet and walking away as soon as the words came out of him.

Tall Willow was too weak to go after him. It took an effort for him to stand up.

Running Horse had gone as far as he wanted to go, and he came back.

"You come home, Now. Let man do own job. You come home to Running Horse."

"I can't. I told a man I'd do a job for him. Once I do this, then, I come home."

Running Horse was livid. He didn't want to be angry with Tall Willow, so he kissed him, and the kiss lingered, because they were together and when lovers kissed, all anger left them.

Watching the two men on the far bank, both John and Samuel saw the meeting of the minds, which was a meeting of hearts. There could be no doubt who Running Horse was.

They held hands as they walked together, coming east on the far side of the river. Horse walked behind them, stopping to graze from time to time. They stood together, held hands, and looked across the river where John and Samuel stood.

"He is with you?" Running Horse wanted to know.

"He works with me. The boy, well, the boy is a boy we met and kept."

"What name?"

"John Tanner is the man. Samuel the boy."

"You love this man?" Running Horse asked.

"I love Running Horse. Only Running Horse. For all time, I love Running Horse."

Tall Willow kissed Running Horse as they were watched, and decided to cross the river.

"You can ride Horse across," Tall Willow said.

"I walk with you, Running Horse said.

They went down the bank, waded across the river, going up the other bank,

"Running Horse, this is John Tanner. John, my man, Running Horse."

John wasn't sure it he should shake on it or not, so he offered his hand and Running Horse took it, and the two men smiled as they greeted one another.

"This is Sammy Boy," Tall Willow said.

Samuel looked right at Running Horse before he turned his back.

"He's not quite himself. He was shot the same time as me. He's been slow to recover."

Someone was missing, and Samuel watched Demon come off the porch to come see who had come calling.

"And this frisky fellow is Demon," Tall Willow said.

Demon came up to smell the new arrival.

Samuel turned back toward Running Horse once Demon came up.

"Demon," Samuel said.

John was startled.

"What did you say, Samuel?"

"Demon. I said, Demon."

John grabbed Samuel and gave him a big hug.

"What? Where?" Samuel said as If his brain just then caught up with him.

There was a lot of explaining to do.

Proud Eagle came out of the field, and his wife came from the cabin, and there would be more company for supper tonight. It was always time for a celebration when Proud Eagle's nephew came calling.

Horse knew to follow Running Horse across the river, and Running Horse removed the buffalo robe from his back. He put it near the fire pit, where Proud Eagle was prepared to roast venison that would go with any dish Tall Willow's mother made. Food was always at the center of any visits to the cabin in the valley where the river runs.

"This is our buffalo robe?" Tall Willow asked.

"This is our buffalo robe. Where we slept for years."

Running Horse always brought the buffalo robe. He slept in the pasture in front of the cabin. He didn't like to sleep inside the cabin, but he didn't mind sleeping in the pasture that stood in front of the cabin. This put his bed near the firepit, and the firepit gave off heat for hours after the meat was roasted there.

The only real confusion that got a laugh from time to time. His mother called her son, Gregory. His father called him, Tall Willow, and John and Samuel called him Phillip.

They all stayed true to the man they knew, and mother's always call their children by the name she gives them. He had a distinct role in each other their lives. To his mother, he'd always be her son, Gregory. To his father, he'd always be his son, Tall Willow. To Running Horse he was known by the name Medicine Woman gave him. To John he was the friend who saved his life, and to Samuel, he was his savior and protector, Phillip.

Running Horse knew Tall Willow as Love. That hadn't changed. They'd seldom be apart during the three days he stayed with Tall Willow. They'd make the most of those days. Their resolve to come back together and never be separated again grew out of those three days.


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"The Moon & Stars"

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"Marathon"

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