It's been four weeks, three days, and five hours since I received the call to tell me that the only girl I'd ever loved was gone. But more than that, the girl we all loved. The girl Mike loved especially. I still don't know how to process this. I still don't know how to fathom that the Pack's girl, Sarah, is no longer with us.

Her funeral was fitting and mighty, just what she deserved. Merlow truly banded together to give our Queen the best send off she could have ever imagine. Yet even this much time after it still feels like yesterday that she was here, trading insults with me, fawning over Mike, and generally just being there.

Her death has cast a cloud over all of us. I returned home for her funeral, left to finish the last of my high school year, and now I'm home. Now I'm home and it doesn't quite like home. Nonetheless, I'm back to stay.

Just when I felt I'd gotten close to accepting Mum's death, we lose Sarah. We lose Mike's beautiful girl. His beautiful, beautiful girl.

It is for him I worry most. It is for him I fear I'll say goodbye to next. We can all do our best to keep him upright, but none of us are Sarah. None of us.

He loved her before I even realized what love was. The whole time I was with her, he loved her more than I ever did. He wasn't looking for anything in return from her. He only wanted to stay close, to take care of her.

Then finally his time came, and Mike had his Sarah. It just made sense. It just fit. It just fit.

"And now she's gone."

I turned to Lucas, giving him a sad smile, trying not to cry, "And soon you will be too."

"Like that hardly matters." Lucas said softly, reaching across to squeeze my hand, "I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay for him. But he wouldn't let me."

Both of us were quite emotional as we spoke, squeezing our hands together. Mike wasn't letting anyone in. Not the way we wanted him to. He existed, but he wasn't really alive anymore. I didn't know how long it would take for him to really live again either.

"He misses her so much." I said to Lucas, "I just ..."

"I wanted him to die." Lucas said lowly, "I went after him. With Brad. I wanted to kill him. They wouldn't let us see him. But he killed her. He killed her."

"And when the time comes." I whispered, "He'll get what he deserves."

"It's not what Sarah wants for us."

"It's what I want." I growled, "I don't fucking care what the rules are. I want him to die. I want him to pay. Jail is not enough."

I shivered suddenly, feeling as if I'd been slapped by a cold gust of air. I clutched my cheek, frowning a little. Lucas gave me a strange look, before I shrugged.

"Some bloody bitch wind giving me a bit of what for." I grumbled, "Anyway, you all packed for your big departure?"

"Pretty much, Dude." Lucas said, "Pretty much."

"You don't want to go anymore?"

"No." Lucas said honestly, "And I'm pleased to say it has nothing to do with you. I just ... I love this place so much. I want to move in with Mike and just ... just ... just be there for him. He's so lonely."

I tried not to cry at those words. I'd tried to return the favour and be there for Mike the way he's been there for me so many times, but it was so difficult. He wasn't complaining, he wasn't looking for pity, he was just existing. I know Sarah's only been gone a little while, and he'll hurt for a very long time. I just wish there was something we could do for him. But what could we do besides be here?

* * * * * * *

Mike lay on the bed he once shared with the biggest part of his heart. The biggest reason he could think of to even exist. The reason he enjoyed breathing so much. To try and do so without her in his life was so very difficult.

He faced the side of the bed she once occupied, clutching the dress she wore on the day they were married. His eyes were awash with tears that seemed to come daily since she'd left his life that much darker, that much devoid of her warmth and life. The very mention of her name brought him to a sobbing mess.

Sarah Marie Leo-Marcus.

She had been his alpha and his omega for so very long. She had been more than he could have ever told her, and yet she knew. She always knew where she stood in his life, and how very much she mattered. Life without her was so very cold.

Mike wished he could cease to exist as she no longer existed in this world, but he knew she would not wish that. He knew she wished him to live, to aspire, to dream. But he could not do as she wished. He could not dream, for there was little to aspire to. He could not hope, because his hope had already diminished. All he could do was lay there on his side, clutching the dress his beloved Sarah had worn the day the married, inhaling her fading scent, and wishing it was she in his arms, and not just an empty vessel to remind him of what he no longer had. His beautiful Sarah was no more.

* * * * * * *

I sat in Marcel's room, chin resting on my knees. I was staring through the window, admiring the lake views. There was no one else here, but I'd always had access to the house. Marcel insisted on it. He wasn't here now to insist on anything, but I wished he was.

"Oh, Blondie." I sighed, grabbing his pillow and holding it to my face, trying to catch a scent.

As expected, there was nothing. His parents had cleaners come through the house regularly. They were probably here more than his parents were. They weren't bad people. They were just different. And they made my Blondie so it was hard not to be grateful for them simply existing.

I was startled from my reverie when the door swung open and a familiar face stood there, grinning at me. I instantly smiled back, holding my arms open as he ran forward, jumping onto me and knocking me backwards.

"Corey." I smiled, holding him as he squeezed me tight, "You're early."

I nuzzled his neck as he giggled, and kissed his cheek, squeezing him tight. We weren't used to being apart for long and he'd called me every night before he went to sleep while he was away. I liked it. I loved it. I love him. He makes me feel like a useful, good person. Far cry from the truth, but hey.

"Dan!" He laughed, giving me a kiss and hugging me tight again, "I missed you so much!"

"But you're here now. And you're staying this time, right?"

"I am! I am! I'm staying with you! You set me free!"

"I didn't do it." I smiled, "Someone far better than myself did."

"I know I'm the best, Babe, but you need to get that ego back."

I smiled at the sound of that voice, knowing full well I'd hear it soon. I turned around, and there he was. There he was, standing tall and strong, the way he always should be. I was worried he might not be able to do it again, but besides a very close crop haircut and some slight scarring, he was the same blue eyed, beautiful Blondie.

"Gosh, you're gorgeous." I smiled at him.

Corey got off me so I could stand up and move to Marcel. I hadn't seen him for a little while and seeing him like this had me somewhat emo. He made a comeback for Sarah's funeral and no one could stop him being a pallbearer, but he wasn't at his best. Right now? He looked immortal, dressed in his stylish black suit. Just the way I like my Marcels.

"You look just the way I want you to look." I sighed, cupping his cheek and kissing him softly, then more insistently, all over his face, "I'm so happy to see you."

"Love you too." Marcel smiled, wrapping an arm around the small of my back, "I got your Corey for you."

"Your parents aren't an endless well of mone…"

"Shh." Marcel said, silencing me with a finger on my lips, "We don't talk about that. I am what I am, I have what I have. I use it to help those I care about."

"You do too much for too many."

"Enough." He said softly, "We don't talk about these things."

"So fucking modest." I sighed, stealing another kiss, "I missed you like this. I missed you full stop."

Marcel looked at me, somewhat intently, cupping the back of my neck before he kissed me hard. This wasn't his usual style, but I was liking it. I was liking it a lot.

"Corey, take a walk downstairs." I gasped suddenly, "Daddy and I have some lost time to make up for."

"Like you need an excuse." Corey chuckled, already heading for the door, "Can I eat?"

"The house is yours." Marcel whispered, not taking his gaze from me, "Do what you want. Eat what you like. Your other Daddy and I have ... things to do."

"I like this." I said to Marcel, smirking a little, "I really like this."

Marcel was already working with his tie, "I like what's coming next a whole lot more."

* * * * * * *

Brad stepped out onto the pavement, tossing his backpack over his shoulder. He was on his way to pick up Billy and spend the day with him. He had thought about trying to find a way to take care of Billy himself, but he knew he couldn't provide Billy with the stable environment that the Barrett's had. He certainly couldn't afford the private schooling that Billy received now.

Brad was lost in his thoughts as he walked along the street, until he heard a familiar humming voice. He raised his head to see a figure walking toward him that he soon recognized. He smiled brightly and called out.

"Corey? Is that you?"

Corey had been humming to himself and didn't realize he and Brad were walking toward each other until he heard his voice. The two greeted each other with a hug, and a genuine affection.

"I guess this means it worked out, huh?" Brad smiled, "You're officially a Merlowian."

"A huh! We just got back today. Marcel and Dan are playing ... you know, hide the salami."

"Were you going back to the house? I just came from there."

"Mmm. I was hoping you or Mike would be there. Or maybe Lucas." Corey said, hands fidgeting in his pockets, "My stuff is still at Marcel's, but Dan's bringing it over later."

"Mike's home right now, but it's not the best time. Do you want to come with me instead? I'm going to pick up Billy. You can hang out with us if you like."

"Umm ..." Corey said, biting his lip, "Is Mike okay? Are you sure it's okay for me to come with you?"

"It's fine. Come on. If you're going to be living with us now, you might as well get used to hanging out with me. Storm and Marcel will probably be playing hide the salami a lot. And Mike's leaving Merlow soon. So it'll mostly be you and me."

"You and I."

"Who talks like that?"

"Intelligent people." Corey giggled, "Just kidding."

"Cheeky runt." Brad chuckled, nudging Corey to follow him.

"Hey wait, what do you mean Mike's leaving Merlow?" Corey asked in surprise, "Where's he going?"

"To keep his promise to Sarah. To keep ... you know, living. He's going to the Saran City Police College. He just found out he passed the character checks and admission exams and interviews today. He's been offered a place in the next intake. Sarah made sure he applied before she died."

Corey half frowned as he walked along beside Brad, "I was hoping to spend more time with him. I really like him. I hope he's going to be okay. It still makes me cry thinking about her. I didn't know her long or as well as you, but she was ... really awesome. Will Mike be okay?"

"Well ..." Brad said uncertainly, "I don't know. I honestly don't know. But I ... I mean, I'm graduated from High School now. I can't afford to go to university. So ... I've been thinking that ... well, Sarah was there for me. I feel like I owe it to her to be there for Mike. So I'm trying to figure out a way to follow Mike into the S.C.P.D.. I think I'm a good enough person. I'm strong, I'm fit. I might not be a genius but I'm not stupid, I think. Maybe I could do something good and make a career of it, you know? Send some money back to help Billy, and still keep an eye on Mike."

"That means you'd leave too?" Corey asked, sounding disappointed, "But you said we'd get to hang out. At this rate, it'll just be me and Dan in that big house. But I think you could do it. If you really wanted to. I really think you could."

"You do?"

"A huh!" Corey said, nodding his head excitedly, "You're not dumb. I think you're a good person. Sarah seemed to think so. You've got big muscles like Mike. All you jocks are jacked up."

"Not as big as Mike. He's solid." Brad chuckled, "But I'm okay, I guess. Haven't been called a jock for a long time though."

"Retired jock now that you're old and out of high school. So you'd be moving to Saran City?"

"I suppose. I mean, it's still early for me. I don't really have the money to make it happen. I'd need to figure that out. But yeah, Saran City could be my future home." Brad said, almost excited by the thought, "I'd like to stay close to Mike. Saran City could be my future home too."

"Wow." Corey said, "I'd rather stay here. It's so pretty and it's the first place I haven't had to live in a boy's home my whole life. Plus, Dade's in Saran City and he doesn't like me."

Brad was about to reply when he realized they had already reached the Barrett home. Taking a deep breath, Brad walked up the pathway to the front door and knocked gently. He hoped the door wasn't answered by ...

"Josh." Brad said as the door opened to Josh on the other side of it.

"Brad ..." Josh said, staring at Brad with an expression that almost seemed nervous.

Corey looked between the awkward pair and figured they needed an icebreaker, "Hi, I'm Corey!"

"We've met." Josh said to Corey, "Several times. It's nice to see you again, Corey."

"Oh, right, yes." Corey nodded, still looking between the two.

"How are you?" Brad asked, doing his best to be cordial, "Enjoying your holidays?"

There was no point in making things unnecessarily difficult between them. After all, Josh's family was doing so much for Billy. So no matter what had happened between himself and Josh, he would do his best to remain mature and cordial.

"Mostly helping out at the yard. Would you both please come inside?" Josh asked, "There's some iced tea ready in the den. Mother made some scones earlier. Would you like some?"

"Thank you." Brad smiled and nodded, "But we're fine. I spoke to your father earlier about picking up Billy at midday. It's midday. Would he be ready?"

Corey rolled his eyes and shook his head, before he spoke up, "I love scones, thanks!"

"Joshy, where's the ..." Carly began to say, before she realized they had visitors, "Hi, Brad! Hello, who are you?"

"I'm Corey." Corey smiled at her, not realizing he was staring, "I'm Corey."

"You ... said that already."

Brad groaned and gave Corey a little tap on the back of the head, "We're leaving."

"Carly Bear, show Corey to the den." Josh said quickly, "Right now please."

Corey took his shoes off at the door and was quickly ushered in by Carly, who looked back to see if Brad would follow suit. Brad hesitated a moment, before he remained where he was at the door. Josh watched as the two disappeared, before he turned his attention back to Brad. This was the first time the two had been alone together since Sarah's funeral. That encounter had been as cool as this one was going, but it seemed Josh was hoping to change that.

"I made a late change to GMU. Maybe we could ... hang out."

"You switched to Greater Merlow? You realise you will have to mingle with White Swanners." Brad said, before he nodded his head in understanding, "To stay close to Jacob."

"Look, Brad, we haven't had a chance to talk properly since Stacey's party. Please, can we talk now? Please?"

* * * * * * *

Marcel and I were sitting around the dining table at home, wondering where everyone had gotten to. Mike wasn't around. Brad had kidnapped Corey. So once again it was a party of two.

"Did you help Lucas pack up his place?" Marcel asked.

"Mmm. All the furniture's out. It's empty as now." I said, "Brad and I helped him with the last of it yesterday. So he's basically good to go."

Marcel was about to speak when Mike walked in the front door. He had some papers in his hand and acknowledged us both with a nod. He set the papers on the table and walked around behind the sitting Marcel. He wrapped his arms around Marcel's neck and kissed the top of Marcel's head softly, but repeatedly. It was clearly an act of affection, as Mike hadn't seen Marcel since Sarah's funeral.

He didn't do anything beyond his little kisses on Marcel's head, which Marcel reciprocated by raising his hands to rest over Mike's. I don't know, but Mike seemed a little bit emo over Marcel's presence here. But then it didn't take much to set him off these days, though he tried to keep it to himself.

Then without a word, Mike let go, picked up his papers, and headed upstairs. Marcel and I just looked at each other, frowning slightly. He was still our Mike, but he was so different. So empty. He barely talked these days, and he wouldn't let anyone fuss over him or try and feel sorry for him. He just got on with what he had to do, tried to keep an eye on us, but everything had changed.

We knew he loved us still, but without Sarah it was like he was lost. Like he didn't know how to handle us anymore. Like he didn't know how to handle himself anymore.

He reminded me of one of those old men who had lived with the same woman for fifty years. Suddenly she wasn't there anymore and he just didn't know what to do, or how to live. They really did live a lifetime within their short marriage, and it was obvious now just how much they were a part of each other.

I looked at Marcel, who had a slight frown on his face and his eyes were glistening. It might've looked slight, but I knew Mike's state upset him more than he was showing. He didn't have to say it out loud for me to notice it. He was worried, just like the rest of us.

"All the money in the world couldn't make him feel any better." Marcel said softly.

I frowned in agreement, before I squeezed Marcel's hand, "Maybe all of us can then?"

* * * * * * *

Lucas looked through his house, marvelling at how bare it was. There was nothing left inside it now. It was sold, and within a week the new owners would take possession. That would be the end of it. The end of the Sheridan's time in Merlow.

It was a surreal feeling for him, to see his life in Merlow, as represented by this house; empty. Just empty. Once he was gone, what would linger to tell people that he had been here? That he had lived and loved here.

It had been a journey of ups and downs during his time here. Quite a few large ups and just as many large downs. He was starting to process that his journey here was almost over, but he didn't think he'd ever forget this town, this place, and the people within it.

He felt privileged to have been welcomed into a group so tight he often wondered if he deserved to be a part of it. The Pack had become his family, and he wondered if they would ever be the same after losing their Queen.

He wondered if he would ever make friends again like the ones he had here in Merlow. He truly doubted it. He knew the connections made here were simply too unique and strong to be duplicated again.

He wondered if he'd ever love someone the way he loved someone here. His mind told him that he might one day, but his heart told him he was being stupid and that what he'd stumbled upon on a bus so long ago was truly a once in a lifetime occurrence.

He could still remember the first time he met his once best friend and former lover. He could still remember getting onto that bus and noticing Storm immediately. Lucas didn't understand why he locked eyes on Storm so quickly. He didn't understand why he moved right toward that seat when there were plenty of others nearby.

Fate? Did anyone really believe in that anymore? Love at first sight? That only existed in movies or bad romance novels. Lucas didn't know if it was love at first sight, but he knew it was something. Something strong that pulled him right to that seat. Something strong that made him speak up and sit next to this person whose name he would soon learn was Storm.

"It started on a bus." Lucas smiled to himself, leaning against the wall of his bedroom and remembering all the times he'd shared with Storm inside it.

"You're still the one, Storm." Lucas confessed, though the thought no longer tormented him, "Heart's still beating."

"You truly are a sad, sappy creature."

"Whoa!" Lucas gasped.

Lucas startled with surprise, turning to his doorway at the sound of the voice. When he realized who it was, he smiled and stood up straight. He stepped toward the unexpected guest, arms outstretched. He giggled and rolled his eyes at the raised hand to stop his advance.

"Please. I don't do unnecessary displays of affection or gratuitous outpourings of emotion. But I do 'hello'. So hello, Lucas ..."

* * * * * * *

"What's wrong?" I asked Marcel, sensing a little anxiety.

The two of us were in my room. Corey and Brad were trying to coax Mike out of the house to hang out with Billy. I didn't know how successful they were.

I was sitting across the bed, while Marcel was sitting against the headboard with his feet in my lap. While things had been initially great upon Marcel's return, I could sense a growing sense of anxiety in Marcel as the day wore on. I didn't like it when my Blondie was anxious. I got anxious, he snapped me out of it. That's how it worked. Not this way.

"I know you love me." Marcel said, fiddling with his fingers and staring at them in his lap.

"Duhr." I said, kissing his foot with a smile, "And for your next bit of obvious."

"I know you love me."

"You said that already."

"I know you'd give me the rest of your life and that we'd be together for the rest of our days." He continued.

"Sounds pretty good, huh?" I grinned at him, "I like it. You'll still be hot when you're old."

"It's just ... something's been nagging at me all morning. Well ... really, since ... since Sarah died."

"Oh not this again."

When Sarah died, and we saw the depths of Mike's despair, Marcel asked me if I would feel the same if something happened to him. He asked if he would ever be my Sarah. Would I ever love him as much as Mike loved Sarah?

It annoyed the fuck out of me then, and it's annoying the fuck out of me now. He said if I didn't think I could love him that much, then I should be with my Sarah. Captain Obvious says that is supposedly Lucas.

"Lucas is leaving today. You probably won't get another chance to see him again." Marcel said softly, his eyes still cast down on his fingers, "This is it."

To be honest, I was trying not to think about it. I knew this was it. I really didn't know how I felt about it. I was trying not to think about it. Trying not to think about putting to bed, once and for all, a love that really did have a profound impact on my life.

Lucas kept trying to put me behind him, and not the way he liked me behind him either. I thought I'd done the same. I admit, Sarah's death made me think about Lucas a little, but out of respect to Marcel I simply killed those thoughts before they had any time to fester.

"We've been through this before. Gosh, why can't you just let it go? You aren't that insecure, are you?"

"No, I'm not." Marcel said, shaking his head as he moved off the bed and stood up, "I'm also not that naïve. Do you want me to say it or are you going to grow a set of balls and say it yourself?"

"Say what!?"

"I'm not your Sarah." Marcel said softly, facing the door, "And if you let him go now, you'll never get another chance to have anything close to what Mike and Sarah did. You love me. You'd die for me. You'd never hurt me. But you're not ... in love with me. Not the way you're in love with him. Or the way you were at least. I make you feel safe, because you trust me, and because you're not afraid of getting hurt. I'm the safe bet. With Lucas, you're scared, you're on edge, you're stormy, and you're passionate. You're completely impossible and a pain in the ass, but you're not ... safe, the way you are with me. You know, before Sarah died, I could've kept this up. You could've kept this up. It could've worked out in the end, eventually. But life's too short, Storm. We only get one shot at this. If you go to that bus stop today and you can let him go, knowing honestly in your heart that you can live with that? I might believe we have a shot. But I can't see Mike the way he is and wonder if you're just being an ass and letting go of the closest thing we have left to a Mike and Sarah love story. Fuck this, I have to go."

He was clearly upset by seeing how different Mike was, how empty Mike was. I got hints of it during Sarah's funeral, but I think today with seeing Mike again, just existing, and knowing Lucas is leaving, it's forced the issue for him. But that doesn't mean I have to accept it, or like it. Don't I get to choose my own fate?

"You can't keep doing this!" I snapped at him, rushing past him to slam my door shut, "You can't keep dumping me expecting I'll go running back into Lucas's arms."

"I love you, alright!?" Marcel yelled back at me, "I want this to be real, to last, to just have it forever and know it's what we both want. It's always been you for me. I know it could work between us, but not with this big giant fucking 'What If?' hanging over our heads. I don't want to live the rest of my life wondering if you really, truly wanted this. I can't do that to myself."

"What are you doing?" I asked, staring at him and feeling as if the rug was being pulled out from under me, "What are you doing? You don't need to do this."

"I need to do this!" He screamed, quite uncharacteristic for him, "Because you won't!"

"What are you doing!?" I asked again, still shell shocked by all of this, "We don't fight like this. Not you and me. What are you doing?"

"I know we don't fight like this! Because you don't care enough to fight!" Marcel cried, "You and Lucas might've been a couple of stupid lovesick annoying fools half the time, but when the hell have you ever gotten so fired up over us? Over me?"

"I've almost killed people for you." I growled, "That's how much I fucking care."

"I'm talking about our relationship!"

"I don't want to be what I used to be! I like me with you. I like being in control. I like being safe. I like knowing that I'll wake up in the morning and everything will still work. I'm not the same person I used to be. I'm not the same person Lucas fell in love with. We're not kids now. We're men. We don't need that fifteen year old teenage crap." I insisted, "This thing. This you and me. It can work. It can work so much."

"If I'm the one you feel that ache for, then I'll put a ring on your finger and seal the deal tomorrow. If this is it for us, then this is it for all time and I'll make you happy." Marcel said, sniffling as he tried to regain his composure, "But I don't believe that's going to happen. I believe you're going to choose Lucas once and for all. And if you do? I'll survive. I love you, Storm, but not enough to settle for being anything but the best in your heart. Because that's what I am to me. Forget the rest, you know? I can't settle. I just can't."

Part of me wished Lucas would just fuck off already so I could quit this shit with Marcel and we could lock our relationship in. I knew no matter what I said, there would be no talking Marcel out of this.

"Besides ..." Marcel said as moved around me to open the door again, "It's what Sarah wanted."

There was a hint of defeat in his voice at that statement. As if even in death, her wish was our command. Still, it hardly seemed fair to Marcel, but I understood why he was doing this. He didn't want there to be any doubts between us.

"You are the best, you know." I said, standing behind him, "No matter what. I know it hurts that Sarah wanted Lucas and I to work things out, but it doesn't mean she didn't love you."

Marcel didn't answer that statement, and it made it even more obvious to me how much he hurt over Sarah's backing of Lucas and I. It seemed the odds were stacked against him. I just wish there was a way for him to know that Sarah loved him, because one of her last wishes of Lucas and I getting back together, truly did hurt him.

"If I see you later, I see you later." Marcel said, "If I don't ... I don't."

He didn't say anything else. He simply left. I didn't know where we stood. And that was it. That was the end of it. He left me standing there, wondering what the hell just happened. And I knew I still had Lucas left to see and with this hanging over my head, how the hell was that going to work out?

* * * * * * *

"So ..." Mike said, coming into the room a little while after Marcel left.

I think this was the most he'd said to me in days. Progress! Unfortunately, what was most likely, was that he heard my argument with Marcel.

"Mike." I said, wiping my eyes quickly.

I'd been crying ever since Marcel stormed out. I thought my days of dealing with this kinda shit was over! Where's my normal, mature, safe life gone?

"Sit." He said simply, before I did just that on my bed.

He sat down next to me, reaching over to take my hand. He held it to his lips and kissed it, before he held it to his cheek. I could tell he was on the verge of getting a little emo, but that was expected these days.

"Marcel did the hard thing. I heard it all." He said, sniffling a little, "And I want you to know something. Whatever you do, whoever you choose, you love them as much as you can and you never ever let them doubt that they are the first thing in your heart. Marcel doubts, and that means you aren't doing right by him. That means that maybe he's right. Maybe my girl was right. I don't know. I don't care who you end up with. I care about you. I care about Marcel. I care about Lucas. I care about our family. I want you to know, that I'm leaving soon. This place isn't where I can be right now. I'm going to go and do what my girl wanted me to do. I'm going back to Saran City. And I'm going to try and make her proud. I don't want you to worry about me. I just want you to be true to yourself. Be true to the person you love. If it's Lucas, Marcel will be okay. I'll make sure he's okay."

"You're leaving?"

"I got accepted." Mike nodded, "So I'm going. Yeah, I'm going."

He kissed my hand again and stood up, before he let my hand go. He wiped his nose and paused for a moment, before he turned back and gave me a small, teary smile. God, it broke my heart. I was a mess just looking at him and feeling how broken he was and yet still trying to take care of me.

I stood up, wiping my eyes, before I moved toward him. I wanted to give him a hug, but I could tell that he didn't want me to. Or that silently he was hoping I wouldn't, because he didn't want to break. He was trying to be strong and be the Mike and the brother that we all loved him for so much. And so I gave him that. And instead of giving him a hug, I did my best to smile, even though I was crying silently.

"Thank you." Was about all I could muster without blubbering.

He nodded slightly, gave me a small smile, before he turned and walked out. I held my hands to my face and broke down. Not for me, but for him. I wish I could make it better for him, but I felt so helpless to make his life less painful. I wondered if he'd ever be okay. And was Marcel right? Was Sarah right? Was Mike right? Am I the only dumb shit here who can't see what they can?

* * * * * * *

Lucas was loading up the last of his bags into the taxi that would take him to the bus station. He expected to meet some of his friends there to say goodbye. He'd already said goodbye to Carl. But the one he wanted most to see was Mike. He still felt terrible about leaving him, and he wanted to stay, but he'd respect Mike's wishes to carry on with his plans.

"Lucas!"

Lucas shut the door of the taxi and looked up as a car pulled into his driveway. He saw Josh on the driver's side, and surprisingly, Brad was in the front seat next to him. The two got out and rushed over to Lucas, before Corey jumped out behind them.

The body language between Josh and Brad was a little icy, Lucas noticed, but he didn't say anything. Everyone knew what had happened between them, so he was surprised to see Josh here with Brad.

"We were coming to say bye and Josh was driving over to do the same. He gave us a ride." Brad said, as if almost wanting Lucas to know he and Josh weren't friends and this was merely coincidence.

"We came to say bye!" Corey said, pushing past Brad and Josh to give Lucas a big hug.

Lucas smiled, kissing Corey's cheek and hugging him tightly, "Thanks, Little Dude. Don't forget me now, okay?"

"Yeah that's enough hugging for me, I hate crying!" Corey laughed, moving away quickly and smiling sheepishly.

Brad was next, giving Lucas a genuine hug and rubbing his back. For all their petty squabbles over the years, Lucas had a great amount of affection for Brad now. Lucas gave Brad a smile, patting his arm as they broke their embrace.

"Good luck, Lucas. I hope you come back and see us someday." Brad said sincerely, "Won't be the same without you."

"You too, Dude." Lucas replied, "You take care of yourself, okay?"

Brad nodded as Josh stepped up and extended his hand to Lucas. Even these two had a spotty past, but it seemed all that was put aside now. Lucas shook Josh's hand firmly, looking him in the eyes.

Unlike with Brad, Josh and Lucas didn't exchange any words, but then Josh was never much of a talker. Their handshake and glance said enough.

"Time to go." Lucas said finally, looking at the three with a sad smile, "Peace out, Dudes."

* * * * * * *

"Well, Mum, I've done gone and fucked it up now." I said as I stood beside Mum's grave.

She was my last stop before going to see Lucas off. And in my mind, that was exactly what I was going to do. But since everyone seemed to be giving me advice today, I thought I should get some spiritual inspiration from the one who mattered most to me. My Mum; June Marcus.

"Everyone seems to know what's going on except me. I've upset Marcel. I couldn't help Mike. And now Lucas is about to leave." I sighed, "Are you keeping Sarah company? Is she telling on us for all the shitty things we did after you left? Dade and I both lost our way. Lucas and I lost our way. Everyone did. And now Mike, poor Mike, has to go through it all over again. I always say this, but I wish you were here to tell me what to do. But maybe, just maybe, you did a good job with me and deep down I know what I have to do, because I know what you'd say. You'd tell me that I have to just do my best to be there, and to let the people around me know that they are loved. You'd want to make sure Dade knows that he's my brother. There no halfway in that. He's my little brother. I'm going to try really hard to do right by him. He's made such a beautiful little girl. She looks just like you do in your baby photos."

Amazingly, I felt better just being around my Mum's grave. It had a calming presence on me. I know Mike's been spending a lot of time between here and Sarah's grave. Admittedly, I still find it hard to go and visit her because it's still so fresh and raw and I just break down.

"So I'm home now for good. And Mike's leaving to go and be a police officer in Saran City. I've adopted a new stray. Corey. You've met him before. I brought him last time. He's really good, Mum. Helped me a lot. Helped me train to come back at the Nationals, doing chin ups with him hanging off my back like a monkey. He's not Dade though, and I'm not trying to make him a Dade so I can fix the mistakes I've made with him. I just ..."

"We both made mistakes, Bro." A voice said from behind me, before I felt a hand on my shoulder, "It was both of us."

I turned around and was halfway between breaking down again, and bursting with a smile. So I settled for halfway in between. A cryle. It's the newest thing. I'll patent it and make a mint.

I looked at him and without even thinking about it, I grabbed him so tightly I thought I'd crush him. I smothered his face in kisses and squeezed him even tighter if that was possible. Mum, she's an angel.

"Goodness, what's this?" Dade gasped, struggling a little for breath, "I forgot the memo that said you liked me again. But I got the Dade Storm psychic mail that you might need me today."

"I love you, you dumb shit." I cried, laughing as I kept covering his face in kisses and hugged him again, "I love you."

"I love you too, Bro. I love you too."

In that moment, I really didn't give two fucks why he was here, but I assume it was to say bye to Lucas. It didn't really matter. I knew Mum did it somehow.

I didn't let him go. I just held him for the longest time. We didn't need any words. We had each other. That was enough.

* * * * * * *

The Pack are the greatest group of friends I have ever known in my life. I will never know another. They changed my future and made me what I am today. A flawed, but still trying individual. Someone who loves, someone who fails, someone who sometimes wins.

In my life I have known many things. Hope, happiness, love, disappointment, despair. So much despair that I often didn't think I could return to this place. Return to this home I know and I love so much.

But Merlow is my great love, my great home. She is where I have known all the most important moments of my life. She is where my family still exist. She is where my mother rests. She is where I fell in love. She is where I felt the greatest pain. She is my home. She is my Merlow. It is here that I shall return to and try again to make my own mark on the future.

As I walk through the school, seeing reflections of a life gone by, I wonder if I'll ever know these experiences again. The first time I made out with Sarah. The first time a boy made me look sideways. The first time I found the word 'Dude' quite a turn on. I remember so much.

I can see echoes of Mike and Sarah walking through school, holding hands and thinking they have forever ahead of them, not knowing how much time they had. I can see Dade being the flirty little shit that he is, making the girls swoon over him. Figures he'd be the one of us to make a grandchild for Dad.

I can see my Blondie crowing cockily as he makes mincemeat of his competition on the track and field. And then the rest of the Pack gathering around him and spoiling him with adulation. Good times. Great times.

Then I can see little corners that Lucas and I used to sneak into to get a bit of a French lesson in kissing. Sometimes we'd cheat and try to give each other a lesson in salami tasting as well. Definitely great times.

It's hard to say exactly why, but I'm not sad to be saying goodbye to an era of my life. I feel proud and privileged to have experienced it. Some of it might have been hard, but it made those good times all the more memorable. And as I walked out of the school and came closer to the Merlow Bus Depot, I knew one of those bright memories was waiting for me.

* * * * * * *

Marcel looked at himself in the rear view mirror, cursing his short cropped haircut. He didn't like the way it looked, but he supposed things could be a lot worse. His hair would come back.

He pulled into the drive of the Marcus home, hoping Storm wouldn't be there. Marcel would be the only one not to see Lucas off, but considering what was likely to happen with Storm, it hardly seemed appropriate or warranted. He just wanted to see Mike.

"Hey there." Dade smiled, padding out of the front door, shirtless and barefoot with his daughter in his arms, "You and I seem to be bumping into each other a lot lately."

"I suppose we are." Marcel said, holding his hands out to take June.

Dade handed her over, folding his arms and smiling at Marcel, "It's a good look. I like your hair."

"I hate it. It's invalid hair. Anyway, what are you doing here?"

Dade grinned at Marcel, "Well, that's a long story. But you know what they say? When one door closes, another one opens ..."

* * * * * * *

Lucas stood on the edge of the bus platform, bags in hand. The day had finally come for him to leave behind a town called Merlow, and with it, a family that he considered himself fortunate to be a part of. He still couldn't believe that his time in Merlow was over. He always believed this would be the place he would spend the rest of his life. Now it seemed life needed to be somewhere else if it was to find any kind of future.

San Diego beckoned, and so too a fresh start. He had his doubts about leaving initially, but almost instantly he realized that he was making the right move. The longer he stayed here, the more he would wonder about what life could have been, and perhaps should have been.

Looking down at his hands, Lucas pulled out a photograph of a very dear group of people. The sight of them made his already emotional state that much more indulged. He had to stifle back tears as he studied the photo intently. The Pack, in days when life seemed so dramatic, and yet in reality was so much simpler than it became. Days when smiles were true and hopes were bountiful.

Marcel Lewis, blonde and glowing with a cocky, good natured grin. The one member of the Pack that Lucas felt something always prevented them from being closer, and yet despite that, Marcel had done so much for him. Lucas had an endless amount of respect and admiration for the person Marcel was, and became with each passing chapter of time.

Next to Marcel was a character that made Lucas smile. Someone who always seemed to be finding his place, and as far as Lucas was concerned, an often neglected member of their clan. Dade Marcus. His infectious grin and wisdom beyond his years had been lost since this photo was taken, but he still thought of Dade like this. In Lucas's mind, Dade was always part of the Pack, if not their collective youngling. It seemed slightly foretelling that in this photo, Dade's grin and eyes were aimed squarely at a certain Blondie.

Daniel Phelan Marcus, the one who to this day, still held Lucas's heart. The one they called Storm. The one Lucas called Love. Even he seemed so much brighter in the photo, possessing the cheekiness he was well known for. The subtle way Storm's hand clutched almost possessively on Lucas's hip without realizing, made Lucas pine for those little gestures again.

There would never be another who impacted his life the way Storm had. And despite the way their paths splintered, Lucas would never regret a moment of their time together. Not one moment.

"Sarah." Lucas smiled, "Always so beautiful."

This was a Sarah Leo full of life, before she was brought down by the ravages of cancer. She had Mike in a headlock, reminding him who wore the pants in their relationship. In her prime, she was the mother of the group. The one girl for all of her boys. The head bitch, as she liked to be known.

Lucas's phone started to ring and he pulled it out, flipping it open to find a familiar, warm face on the screen. The face made Lucas's eyes well up and he stroked the screen affectionately.

"Dude." Lucas smiled, "Hey. I was just getting to you."

"Sorry I'm not there." Mike said, "I wish I could have been. I just ..."

"I know. I know. But I'll see you soon, right?"

"Real soon." Mike said, sniffling a little, his eyes red from crying, "I just wanted to call and tell you, I'm really going to miss you. I hope you don't forget about us out there in the real world."

"You're my brother. I'll always be here for you." Lucas's face was already a mess of tears as he kissed the screen, wishing he could hug Mike, "I love you so much, Dude. So much."

"I love you too, Lucas." Mike replied, his voice lacking its usual conviction, "You just get yourself back on track and maybe ... maybe we'll see each other again soon. Your parents will be good for you. It's been ... awesome having you in my life. I hope ... I just hope it works out for you. I need to go now, I ... I just wanted to call so you'd know I was still thinking of you. I just ... I don't have another goodbye in me. I'm sorry."

The call disconnected and an emotional Lucas shed abundant tears as he clutched the phone to his chest. He'd said a lot of goodbyes to the small group that had come to see him off, but Mike was one goodbye that Lucas wanted more than anything. He didn't want to leave Merlow when he thought about the people he was leaving behind, but no one was letting him change his mind.

"How much do you charge per night? I can't pay, but I can cook breakfast."

Lucas raised his head and gave a grin as wide as he could muster, "Dude! You came!"

Storm nodded his head as he approached, dropping a box of cookies that he'd made from one of his mother's recipes. A firm favourite for Lucas, from right back in his and Storm's early times together. The box settled on the top of one of Lucas's bags, before Storm wrapped his arms around Lucas and hugged him tightly.

Lucas returned the gesture, for a long time just holding Storm, smelling him, listening to him breathe. He didn't think he'd ever feel this again in his life, and wanted to burn the moment into his mind.

"Wouldn't miss this for the world." Storm whispered in Lucas's ear.

"Making sure I finally fuck off out of your life, huh?"

"Naturally." Storm smiled, breaking the hug but letting a hand linger on Lucas's arm, "I'm sorry. I've never said that to you yet. I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"For us. For me. I got lost for a long time after I lost her. I didn't do enough for us. Even without Ashley, I just ... I think we could've made it if I ... if I ..."

"Dude, you lost your rock. Everything fell apart after that. I don't blame you for us, and I don't want you ever to either. If I've learned anything lately, it's that life does as life does. We just have to hold on for the ride and hope we don't get thrown off."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I'm going to be fine, Dude. I really am. This move has been a long time coming."

"Kinda like me in bed, right? A long time till I come because I'm just that good?"

Lucas laughed out loud, leaning his temple against Storm's in a way that was all too familiar. He smiled and clutched Storm's hand, grateful that he was allowed to be so casual and free without being rejected. It had taken them a long time to get to this point again, but Lucas was grateful nonetheless.

"Dude, you're the best. In bed, out of bed, in the shower, on the floor, against the door, just give me more."

This time it was Storm's turn to laugh and without intending to, the two were hugging once more. The goodbye was coming and it seemed neither was truly looking forward to it. Yet when the bus beeped its arrival, the hug broke and Storm stepped back, picking Lucas's bags up for him.

"I still don't understand what San Diego has over Merlow. We all know that place is falling into the sea any minute now. And if the world did end, wouldn't you rather end it in paradise?"

"Dude, my parent's house is already on the market, the rest of my stuff has been sent ahead. You're just being an asshole and messing with my head now that I'm leaving and you realize I'm the best thing since sliced bread. It's perfectly understandable."

Storm grinned and nodded his head at that, "I think you're going to be fine."

"Oh, and just before you start thinking I'm leaving and don't care about you anymore, suck on this." Lucas pulled out the necklace Storm gave him, which had been hidden under his shirt, "At least one of us still wears theirs, hmm?"

"Excuse you." Storm said with a 'pfft' look on his face, before he pulled down his sleeve and revealed Lucas's necklace was right there, but being worn as a bracelet today, "Yeah, now what?"

"What would you say if I asked you for it back?"

"Fuck you, fuck off, go to hell, not a chance." Storm shrugged, "That cover it?"

Lucas smiled at that, before he took his bags from Storm and turned toward the bus. He turned back to Storm, giving him a small, sad smile.

"So, Dude ... this is goodbye."

Storm fidgeted, his expression slightly pained as he nodded his head, "You'd think after how it all ended for us, that I wouldn't care this much about you leaving, and yet all I want to do right now is cry. I'm never going to see you again. All the other times we said goodbye, you were still in Merlow, and I knew we'd cross paths, but ... today?"

"I know, Dude. I ... I think this is it too. Maybe best for both of us, you know? We never could get it right."

"We could get it right. If we couldn't, why would I be here now? Why would I still ... care so much about you. We got it right, Lucas. I'm proof of that. Take today for example. I never expected to be here today. But in some ironic fate, a bus brought us together, and a bus will finally part us. The symmetry is almost painful." Storm said, approaching Lucas slowly, hands fixed in his pockets, "It started on a bus."

"It ended on a bus." Lucas said softly, frowning as he looked at Storm, "Goodbye, Dude."

Storm nodded his head, eyes blinking rapidly, "Yep. Yeah. You take care, Lucas. You take care, okay?"

As if mirroring their moods, the skies crackled with thunder and opened upon them with a torrent of rain. Neither moved

Lucas, without warning smashed his lips against Storm's, kissing him, "I'm still breathing."

Lucas whispered those words as he clutched Storm's hand to his chest. Surprisingly, the words elicited a gasp and a sob from Storm, who seemed to have lost his voice. Without another word, Lucas picked up his bags and ran into the bus.

Lucas stowed his bags away and wiped the water from his face. He sat down next to the window, staring out of it to where Storm stood in the rain, hands in his pockets, obviously crying. For some reason, Lucas found that so very surprising. Tears over him?

As the bus pulled away, Lucas watched the figure of Storm standing in the rain grow smaller and smaller. A figure growing ever smaller by the moment, a signal of days soon to be ended. Nothing left to tell. Their story was over.

* * * * * * *

Mike sat on the beach. On their beach. No one else was around.

The rain had scared them all away. But this their special place. This was where he first kissed his girl. This was where he married his girl. This was where he said goodbye to her.

Even though the rain fell, as if to echo the emptiness in his heart. He imagined that the sun was out and bright. He imagined that right in front of him, his son was playing in the sand. He imagined that right beside him, his girl was there, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"I love you." She'd whisper.

But then she'd leave him again, and the rain would fall cold and harsh on his skin. The sun would disappear behind dark clouds. And once more, he was alone. Just alone.

* * * * * * *

I watched the bus leaving, still a mess of tears. Lucas was actually leaving, and suddenly it was as if everything everyone had said to me today, from Marcel to Mike, to Mum, to even that bloody Sarah, was starting to make sense.

But I couldn't reconcile just switching on something that I'd turned off for so long. And yet if I did turn it off, why am I still staring at the back of the bus, wishing it would stop?

Did I still want those fucking strawberry lips? I don't know. All I did know was that I didn't want Lucas to leave. I didn't want him to go. I wanted to find out.

Oh fuck, what am I doing? Why am I crying? Why am I thinking about Mike and Sarah like Marcel said?

Ahh fuck it. Cold and wet, I broke into a sprint and ran as fast as my legs would carry me after that fucking bus. The rain made my clothes feel heavy, and the heavier they felt, the more I'd run. The more I cried. The more I knew I couldn't let that bus get away.

I didn't want to be like Mike. I didn't want to know how empty that felt. I wanted to feel what I used to feel. When it used to hurt when we'd fight. When it used to make me feel like I could fly when he smiled at me.

They were all right, weren't they? I still love him. I still love him.

The faster I ran, the more that stupid bus got away. But then something, or I should say, someone, intervened and moved in front of the bus, slowing it down just enough for me to catch up. In the corner of my eye I could've sworn I recognized the vehicle, but right now I didn't care.

I banged on the door, pulling out my wallet and waving it to get the driver to open. He gave me a look as if I was nuts. Some wet, crying lunatic banging on his door. He looked like some big, hulking, scary type too.

For some reason, he opened the door and I rushed up, handing him a bunch of notes. I didn't care how much. I just wanted on this bus.

He looked at me, shivering, holding the money out, and seemed to take pity. I gave him a desperate look and he took the money, handing me back some change and a ticket. I nodded gratefully and looked down at his nametag, trying to compose myself.

"Thanks uh, Ty? Thanks for letting me on the bus."

He gave me a small smile, motioning for me to go on back, "You're welcome, Kid. You're welcome."

I gave him a smile and nod, before I turned and made my toward the back, where a rather stunned Lucas sat staring at me in confusion. God, I felt like such an idiot right now.

"May I sit here please?" I asked him, sniffling.

"Of course, Dude. Of course." He said, pulling me down.

I sat down next to Lucas, shivering a little as he put a jacket over me. The bus started moving, but I was still shaking. I didn't know if it was because of cold, or because I was so freaking nervous.

I looked at Lucas finally, clutching his jacket around me. He was still staring at me, as if waiting for me to give him some sort of explanation, but I didn't give it. I made it on the bus, and that's where I wanted to be.

"Dude, where are you going? Where are we going?" Lucas asked me, covering my hand with his.

I looked ahead, still sniffling a little, still shaking. Still having absolutely no idea what I was doing. So I finally sat back and turned to him, before giving him a small, hopeful smile.

"I don't know." I said honestly, "I guess we'll find out when we get there."

* * * * * * *

The End



Back to Chapter 5.14
"Goodnight, My Love, Goodnight"

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Storm Front is © 1998-2011 by SF Writer (Tyrel "Rock" Wolf)
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