"The first Native peoples in this area arrived centuries ago," Blake said, "they were named the Anasazi. The Dineh seem to have arrived in the region only about eight hundred years ago. My uncle has a book that says the first archeological finds here date to over ten thousand BC, maybe even earlier. The Havasupai people are probably best known as the first canyon dwellers. They are still here and their reservation lands are about sixty miles over there along the rim."

The boy delivered this lecture as they were barreling along at forty miles an hour over a rough asphalt road. Matt and Miguel were being jostled around in the back of the ancient Ford pickup. CJ expected to careen off the road at any second, as the boy drove like he rode a horse, fast and loose. But Blake knew exactly where he was going and they finally arrived in one piece.

The village of Desert View lay a short way from the canyon and they turned left at the only intersection in town and followed the signs for another handful of miles. Soon they were rolling into the Park Service lot and Blake parked the truck. There was a feeling of excitement and anticipation as they walked towards the overlook built on the canyon rim. They were not disappointed.

The sweep of the Grand Canyon from this height was magnificent in both directions, a huge gash in the desert floor with the thin line of the Colorado River far below. Matt and Miguel leaned on the railing of the observation platform and stared at the most awesome sight in the western states. Blake had seen it all before and finally took CJ off to one side, barely looking at the sight himself.

"Should we just let them wander around? I hate to just dump them and run." Blake said. "But you'll get a better view of the canyon where we're going." He shifted from one foot to the other and CJ could read the impatience on his face.

"Sure…is it time to go?" CJ asked. The question was hardly necessary; Blake had been impatient all morning. CJ not only hoped the boy was going to reveal some deep inner secret but was looking forward to being alone with him again. He was eager to learn something more about his new love. CJ was still puzzled about how fast Blake had captured his heart but it left him with a glow that couldn't be extinguished.

"Yeah, it's about eight miles north along the canyon. We can drive part of the way. Will they be upset if we leave them?" Blake said.

"They'll be ok, just let me talk to Matt a second. Why don't you go warm up the truck," CJ said.

Matt understood that CJ wanted time alone with the boy. He had watched the two of them since they began the day's journey. Lord, he hoped CJ was really on to something here, Blake was an exciting young man and his friend needed something like this right now. He knew it was hard for CJ to sit and watch the antics that he shared with Miguel.

"Go on, buddy, take the boy off into the hills. Just don't fall into that big hole out there. I'd hate to explain that to the world," Matt said. He and Miguel would be satisfied with staring at the canyon and doing the tourist thing, there was an abundance of shops filled with art from the local tribes and a large restaurant. "Go on, the boy's waiting…see you later."

Blake drove them out of town and away from the canyon, following the road west before taking a small side road, about four miles down. He drove on the rock-strewn track for a while until it became too rough and then pulled over in the ditch. As they left the truck, the boy grabbed a canteen of water and a blanket from behind the seat.

"It gets mighty hot out here, we'll need the water for sure," Blake admonished.

Shit, I'm already burning up, CJ thought. The first mile they hiked on a faint trail until they came to a wire fence and Blake held the top wire while CJ ducked under.

"This is the edge of the reservation lands…it's not too much further." Blake said," I hope you're not too afraid of heights."

"Oh…don't tell me we have to climb any mountains," CJ said.

"No, we just have to follow a path down the canyon a ways…I'll help you."

"Great," CJ said, "Now you tell me." But he knew he would follow this boy anywhere. Their footsteps took them across some pretty rocky ground and CJ sensed that they were once again approaching the edge of the canyon. The morning sun was quickly beginning to warm his back when they came to a rock wall. Blake warned CJ that they were going down towards a narrow ledge. He gave a knowing look and took CJ's hand.

"This is the only really bad part…just don't look down," Blake said.

"I'm not afraid of heights…yet," CJ responded.

He shouldn't have looked down. The drop scared the shit out of him, a thousand feet or more of nothingness to the canyon floor. They skirted the ledge, CJ holding tight to the boy's hand as his nose rubbed the wall in front of him. Hell, he wanted to be a grain of sand on that wall right now, glued to the mass of rock.

They followed a slowly descending path that grew a little wider, but not much. Down into the canyon and into a welcome draft of air blowing up from below. After ten minutes of seeing nothing but rock in his face, CJ relaxed as they finally came upon a wide shelf of rock. Oh please let this be the place, he prayed silently.

He stood in the middle of the narrow shelf where a large overhang blocked out most of the intense sunlight from above, at least he was grateful for that. His legs were still trembling from the stress and he wasn't looking forward to the return trip. The boy was gazing out across the canyon and finally CJ realized just what lay out there before them, it was awesome.

They were tucked in under some scruffy looking pines in a small recess gashed in the side of the great valley, the river flowing far below. The little space was completely hidden from above but it was only about a dozen feet square. There was a small ring of stones and a handy supply of firewood from the pines above.

Blake spread the blanket near the fire pit and walked to the edge of the platform. CJ understood why the place was special. The view of the canyon was spectacular.

"As I said, we're between the reservation and the park here," Blake said. "No man owns this land. Only the Earth Mother could have created this…window on her greatness. Don't you agree?"

CJ nodded his agreement as the boy continued. "I've been coming here for two years now, ever since my grandfather showed me the secret. As a medicine man, he used to come here for purification and to talk with the Holy Ones." Blake was pacing the width of the stone platform, short steps and then he turned to pace back and stopped in front of CJ. "He gave me the secret of his hideaway, it's my secret now and you must respect the knowledge. I was not supposed to bring anyone here, especially a white man. But…you're special CJ.

"No one could have ever known when you would appear in my life...but I knew you were coming. It was the first of my visions, the day after my grandfather died. I came here alone to celebrate his spirit and stayed on...but I am speaking out of turn. There are other things you need to know about me first. We must share in all things, and knowledge of this place is my gift to you." Blake's face was so stone serious that CJ dreaded the responsibility he had been given.

"I'm honored… and I promise my lips are sealed. You said your uncle was medicine man but you never told me your grandfather was too, is this a family tradition?"

Blake smiled and took his arm, leading him in under the overhanging rock where he pointed up. CJ's mouth fell open and his legs ceased their trembling.

The painting above them was ancient and the colors were still faintly intact. Etched in the rock, and still clearly visible, were the body and wings of an eagle in flight. The geometric outline of the huge bird had been scratched into the stone and then the colors had been applied. The artist had meant for it to be there forever and CJ was amazed at how well it had survived. It soared over their heads along the gently sloped ceiling, about ten feet off the ground.

He was wondering how they managed to reach the spot when to the left on the wall below the giant bird he noticed a row of handprints. He counted the outline of nine hands.

"Blake, are those the prints of the artist do you think?"

"No, not the artist's, he remains unknown in the ancient past. These are the handprints of medicine men in my family, CJ. This place has been used for almost three hundred years, I was told. My grandfather's is the last print in the line. My uncle has the Puma as his own totem and spirit guide and I imagine his own secret spirit place. Like my grandfather, I too have the eagle as my spirit guide. The bird chose me for his own many years ago. And, CJ…I've been coming here to consider if I want my handprint on the wall."

"You mentioned the other day that you considered becoming a medicine man." CJ said.

"I think about it. It's an honor but a hard goal that takes years of study and so much more. This is part of what I wanted to tell you but there is more I haven't found the courage yet to talk about. Do you think I'd be a good medicine man?"

"I think you'll be the best at whatever you choose," CJ said, "I feel very strongly about that. But what is it that could take so much courage to tell me?"

Blake stood quietly, staring off across the vast expanse of the canyon before him. It was hard not to look at what lay before them, it was so hypnotic.

"I could go away to school CJ, but then I would have to be here. It means a commitment to my people. The position is one of service to the community and a spiritual leader for the nation. Most of the younger members are running away from here, seduced by the promise of wealth and the easy living they see on TV. What am I to do? The traditions are important… but so is my life."

"It will always be your life that's most important, Blake. That's why we're born without any knowledge of just how our lives will end. The only thing we have to look forward to at the end is our past until we begin again. There are many ways you can give of yourself to the Dineh."

"Yes…I know," Blake replied. "My uncle councils me the same. He isn't very old yet and says that there is always time for a decision later. It has such an appeal to me though and yet…it scares me."

"Your uncle sounds like he gives good advice," CJ said. What could he tell the boy that would guide him now? "Think of the mural on the wall we saw yesterday. The artist was making a statement to the People about their tradition, a reminder of things past. But his painting is there for the future generations to admire and understand. He was looking beyond his own mortality, reaching to define his past so that his life has meaning. If you need any proof of what immortality is like just look over your head. This artist painted his tribute to the gods and it still lives on in our lives. You don't actually have to be here in the flesh to make your contribution."

"Yes, I see what you mean." Blake said. His eyes gleamed and great forces were moving within him now. I think this boy is great, CJ thought, I love everything about him. His passion for life is contagious and I …I am so much in love with him.

"CJ, have you wondered why I wanted to show you that mural yesterday?"

"It was a lesson in your culture. Am I right? But as I remember, you also said there was more I needed to know, is that what takes so much courage?"

Blake turned from the view and sat on the blanket, shedding boots and then clothes until he sat naked with only a small pouch of buckskin hung around his neck on a thong. CJ again saw the warrior's muscular body and on that young face the weight of a decision that needed to be made.

He stood quietly until Blake gestured for him to sit and then CJ shed his clothes, easing himself down beside the boy. They gazed across the canyon and Blake pointed towards the North Rim. Soaring far in the distance was a huge bird, an eagle, wafted by the currents of the breeze blowing across the peaks and valleys of the canyon.

"I come to watch them and sometimes they watch me sitting here. They give me strength and courage." Blake sighed and turned to CJ with wrinkled brow and that intensity in his eyes again.

"Remember the mural now as I tell you the story. Changing Woman was born nadleeh, male and female."

"You mean a hermaphrodite?" CJ said.

"Yes, that's the word. Before Her birth, legend says that the children of First Woman and First Man were twins, both nadleeh. They saved the Dineh people from the angry Monster spirits, allowing them to enter into the now, the Fifth World of our existence. The strength of that heroism causes the Dineh to accept what you call gays amongst us. Their place is assured by the spiritual past and tradition. There haven't been many but my uncle is one. He dresses as a woman, sometimes in his spiritual work and often for the ceremonies we hold privately. It was a nadleeh who saved our way of life when time began and it comforts the people to see my uncle guiding them today. He has a special place in our lives, revered and protected by our Navajo custom. It is not discussed openly, it's our little secret."

"My, my…so your uncle is gay, a transvestite. Is that what's been so hard to tell me?"

"No, CJ. The fact is that we accept gay people for what they are as long as they contribute to the good of the People, my uncle gives freely of himself for the good of us all. That isn't hard to tell you at all."

Blake pushed himself off the ground and walked to the edge of the shelf. "The hard part is that I too want to give myself freely to a man...and now I know I've found him."

The eagle had floated high above them and Blake turned his face to the sky as the sound of its high pitched cry reached their ears. CJ could feel a strange tightness in his chest. The boy had totally floored him. He loves me, CJ thought, and in return I'm going to drive off into the sunset and leave the one thing I want the most. How can I be so cruel?

"The spirits are strongest here, can't you feel it?" Blake finally said.

"I feel something very strongly every time I'm with you," CJ responded, "I didn't know until now just what it was." CJ got to his feet and stood beside the boy. "Can you ever forgive me? I didn't know you were going to fall in love with me."

"But I have and in a few hours you'll leave and I'll just be the boy you left behind. No, I'm sorry CJ, it's my fault. I should never have wanted this between us."

"And what, Blake? Can you honestly say that isn't the nature of your spirit? I've never met a more unselfish person in my life than you. I want and you want… it's that simple. But here we are and there couldn't be a worse case of bad timing in either of our lives."

"I'll run away, take me in the bus with you, CJ"

"And what? Make your life even more miserable? No, I won't let it happen that way." Oh, he wanted to take the boy with him. But how could he ever separate the boy's spirit from this place? Only a foolish man wouldn't see that there was no difference between the free spirit wheeling away up there in the sky and this beautiful creature standing before him. How could he ever cage that kind of spirit? And then his heart spoke the thoughts that had been there all along.

"I love you too, Blake. I don't want to destroy your life here. You have so much going for you now, your family and the quest for your future. But give me a chance, please. I'll find a way to make this happen between us, I don't want to lose you."

"I guess so…but please, CJ, I never knew how much this could hurt." Blake turned to him and there were tears streaming down his face. It was so unexpected, CJ felt like crying out in pain himself. Instead he took the boy in his arms and their naked bodies, warm from the sun pressed flesh to flesh. Blake sobbed now, silent shudders of pain passed in waves through his body. His hands grasped around CJ's neck and he hung on desperately. CJ could feel his body absorbing the boy's hurt and through his own tears he stared at the sky, seeking the guidance to ease them both.

"Blake," CJ said, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand. "What have I done to deserve your love?"

Blake had calmed himself a bit by now and turned, seating himself back on the blanket. CJ resumed his seat beside the boy. "I never got to finish the story of my uncle," Blake said, "And it's the most important part."

He wiped his eyes and unscrewing the top off the canteen, poured a bit of the precious liquid over his head. He carefully put the cap back on and pushed his wet hair back behind his ears with his fingers before continuing.

"When I was just thirteen my uncle came to my father and told him it was time for me to be tested. The Dineh have some traditional rites of passage, from boyhood to manhood, ones that determine our status within the nation. I think all nations of Native Americans have such rites, at least in their past tradition."

"I know a bit about that, you had to do a vision quest am I right?" CJ asked.

"Let's say it was something like that. My uncle takes these things very seriously and I was being tested to see if I could take his place, but I didn't know that. He led me up into the hills to a secret place and sat me on a boulder. He said I was to stay there for several days and the spirits would visit me. He left me a handful of corn and a small bottle of water, took my clothes and everything else. I was scared of what the spirits would do to me.

"I ate all the corn the first day and drank only a little of the water he had laced with herbs. Four days I stayed out there, sitting on the top of the boulder at night and sheltering under it during the heat of the day. I began to starve and the visions came, probably induced by the herbs he put in my water." Blake had a look on his face now that CJ could only describe as holy. He was reliving the experience once again as he stared across the sky and pointed with his arm.

"On the fourth day, the eagle appeared to me in my vision. He flew across the sky and alighted at my feet. I remember that I called to him and he came hopping across the boulder to me and I reached out to touch him. That's when he slashed at me with his beak and I realized that it wasn't a vision but the real thing. Here before me was an eagle, sitting on the rock and looking at me as if I were one of him.

"My hand bled and I carry the scar to this day on the back of my left thumb. The eagle stared at me for a long while and I spoke to him, rambling words that I cannot recall. He preened his feathers and one fell out before he leaped in the air. I felt the air move as he flapped those great wings and climbed back into the sky. I had touched an eagle and he had chosen me, leaving me a token to share his spirit."

"Wow, what an amazing story. Now I understand your affinity for the great birds."

"That wasn't the end of it. When I came out of the trance it was time to return. My uncle listened to my account and examined the scar on my thumb and the feather, only then did he tell me that he had a vision the night before.

"In it he was pumping water at the well when I appeared to him, dressed as a woman and carrying a water skin. He pumped the water for me and I took my fill. As we were finishing, there came a great thundering of hooves and down the road came a herd of cattle, large wild cows with great horns, a stampede of the worst kind. My uncle said he stood in horror, his eyes closed and he implored the gods to save us as we were surely about to be trampled to death.

"Only I went and stood before him and the cattle ran around us, splitting and disappearing as they thundered past raising a great cloud of dust that blocked even the light from the sun. When they were gone and the dust had settled he opened his eyes and saw that I had shed my woman's clothes and become a warrior, the nadleeh twin, Monster Slayer.

"My uncle was stunned by the vision and told my father immediately when he awoke. I walked back out of the hills that day to such a turmoil in my family you couldn't begin to understand, CJ. My father has kept watch over my life very closely ever since. He thinks I am closer to the Mother than any other of the People because of my uncle's vision."

"Did your uncle explain the vision to you?" CJ asked.

"He didn't have to, CJ. Monster Slayer saved the Earth People many times from the wrath of the angry gods. Saving my uncle can only mean that I kept the warrior tradition and will save the People once again; it is to be my purpose in life they think. They both believe this and at the same time we all know that the boy was nadleeh, a hermaphrodite and that is what they expect I will become. I guess my falling in love with you makes that vision come true. At least that's the way they're going to see it when they find out."

"Oh, my God," CJ said. "Do you honestly believe that our relationship was foretold four years ago in your uncle's vision?"

"No, CJ," Blake laughed, "I don't. But it helps me understand the way I feel about you. If there's any benefit from this, it's that my father will understand our relationship and maybe even accept it in time, isn't that great?"

"Are you sure you want to tell him?"

"No, I'm not sure. I know you've wondered how I can fall in love with you so easily. I dreamed about you, CJ. I have visions about things in my sleep and in the first moon of the year I saw a white man approaching. He stood tall and strong, with hair the color of corn....that's you."

"Oh my...she told me the same thing," CJ said.

"She?"

"Mrs. Morningstar, the Cherokee healer I met several weeks ago. She said I would find you...this is incredible, you both had the vision at about the same time."

Blake smiled, "Then I know the Mother led you to me. And CJ, if the People can accept a gay spirit in their myths and my uncle as a gay medicine man, how could I not accept my true feelings about falling in love with Chris James?"

The shriek of the eagle above them punctuated that statement and they both laughed. Blake leaned over and kissed him on the forehead but as CJ reached for the boy he leapt to his feet and without warning scrambled off one side of the ledge. He returned in a flash with a handful of red earth. Mixing a small amount with water from the canteen, he began to paint lines and symbols on the rock floor. There was a long curving arch under which he drew out the stick figures of four people and four mountains surrounded by a river of flowing water. CJ studied the work as it evolved, realizing that this was something new. He didn't recall it as part of the wall mural they'd seen the day before.

Blake began a low chant as he drew the figures, a sound that blended many tones both high and low. CJ listened as the young voice carried his thoughts back in time to what their world must have been before the white man came. During the chant he glanced up to see the eagle flying almost directly overhead, watching them. It was spooky that Blake had known...

The song abruptly came to an end and Blake paused in his drawing. He daubed his finger in the clay one last time and drew out his symbol for the eagle above the mountains and the people, in the same style as the bird that was forever etched in the stone over their heads.

Then he slipped the leather pouch from around his neck and opening it poured a small amount of yellow corn pollen in his palm. He tossed a pinch of it to the four corners of the compass, saying a prayer to the gods. It was done and the boy looked over at him expectantly.

"This is for Sa'a naghai bik'e hozjho, a blessing for health, happiness and harmony, the balance of nature and men. This is the truth sought by all Dineh throughout their lives CJ, hozjho is the reason we live...and why I love you. I know the ways of the People seem strange, your eyes are full of questions."

"I was just pondering the relationship between you and the eagle soaring over our heads," CJ said. "If that great bird is in your spirit, then there has to be some inner connection between you two. As you said before, something that speaks without words."

"Yes, yes," Blake said excitedly, "I knew you would understand, we are one and the same, it is spoken in the chant…

          In beauty I walk;
          I walk with beauty before me;
          I walk with beauty behind me;
          I walk with beauty above me;
          I walk with beauty below me;
          I walk with beauty around me.

"These things I believe are shared by all living things and their spirits, yours, mine and the eagle above, all of us are part of the beauty in creation. The chant says it, not just for the Dineh but for all of the Mother's children." Blake was beaming now. His face glowed with such delight knowing that CJ could understand his feelings.

"So that is why the call is strongest here, you both can soar and let your spirits flow together. Maybe you should be the next medicine man to touch the wall," CJ said.

"I wanted to be, but truthfully, I know I can't. Although there is still time to decide I know that my spirit is up there with the eagle. He sees the world and is free to soar, I want to soar CJ. I want our spirits to flow together and I want…I want to be there with you."

"And you shall, Blake. I promise to help you in this any way I can."

Blake reached out with a finger and dipped it in the red clay paint. He brought the glob of moist goo across and wiped it down CJ's nose.

"Is this some kind of ritual?" CJ asked.

"Naw…just wanted to see how silly you'd look with a red nose."

The boy laughed and CJ could see in his adolescent joy that the time for serious talk had passed and the child was once again manifest in his young warrior. CJ laughed too and wiped at his nose smearing it even further across his face which caused Blake to laugh until tears rolled down his cheeks.

Playfully, the boy emptied a handful of water over CJ's head and they wrestled, their naked bodies rubbing each other and exciting deep feelings within.

"I have never felt such thrills as when you hold me CJ, tomorrow when you leave will be the hardest day of my life. But my father would be angry if I ran away and I do have to finish school," Blake said. "You must promise to bring us back together as fast as you can."

"Tell you what Blake. You finish school, make peace with your family and I promise I'll be there waiting for you. Since I've met you I feel like soaring higher than that bird up there. I don't know what else this trip will bring, but when the time comes, you will become a part of my future wherever that may be.

"Because just like you, I'm trying to find myself and follow my inner spirit. Give yourself some time; think about what it might mean to walk away from all this. We're talking about your whole future. Do you think a young warrior and a white man can find it together?"

"That's a great promise CJ and I'll hold you to it. The legends say that our lives are like the corn plant, a gift from the gods. It only grows because man cultivates it, planting the seed so the roots are firmly in the earth and the stalk reaches towards the heavens. As the sustenance of our lives it is the perfect analogy for hozjho. I would spend my life with you, white man, but only if you're sure I wouldn't be in the way of your own life."

"You are the way, my boy…you are my life."

CJ hugged him as they lay on the edge of the canyon and it was not long before they responded to the warmth of their bodies together. But they were on sacred ground here and although they kissed and caressed, there could be no sexual union. They lay still for some time, feeling their sweat evaporating in the breeze and watching the birds flying above.

"Where do you go from here, CJ?"

"South, straight to Mexico. We have to find Miguel's father, I told you that story. We don't even know where he lives."

"I wish him luck. I like Miguel, but he treats me like a little kid, even though we're both the same age. Why, do you suppose?"

"He's had a hard road, Blake, grew up much too fast and I imagine he missed the best parts of being a child. He envies boys like you that have strong family ties and who have so much certainty in their lives. Maybe he'll change after he finds his family again."

"Does he really love Matt?" Blake said.

"Yes, I think he does. I had been envying how close they've become."

"Am I as close to you?"

"Did you really have to ask that? I love you, Blake. We will never be farther apart in spirit than we are now, I promised you."

"I like that," Blake said as he snuggled closer, "I love you too."

On the ride back to Cameron and the bus, CJ and Matt sat in the back while Miguel rode in the cab and the boys talked about music they both loved. Matt quickly caught the melancholy mood of his friend.

"Gonna miss him a lot, aren't you?"

"What an amazing creature, I learned so much more about him this morning, it will take me hours just to tell you. Just be warned, I can't tell it all. And now I don't want to leave, but we have to go and now is just as bad as later. He's going places Matt, wonderful places and I want him to be part of our lives, the newest member of the family. So now we are eight."

"Damn, we're gonna need a whole state to hold this family. But knowing you, we're probably not done having kids yet, are we?"

"Don't know, this will be a hard one to top. I'm deeply in love."

Their last night was tender and warm. Blake tried his very best not to shed any tears, but to no avail. It was only his hope that their future would soon be tied back together that kept the night from becoming a total disaster. They could have been passionate lovers this evening, they both wanted to share their bodies...but they didn't.

CJ knew that if he had sex with the boy that their parting would be unbearable. And he knew that it would be worse for Blake. The desire was there in them both, but the timing was wrong. And Blake seemed to know that CJ was reluctant for his sake and that made the man all the more precious.

In the late hours of the night as the boy lay sleeping in his arms; CJ swore he could not stand to be separated from this lovable creature. He lay watching the slow steady rhythm of Blake's chest as he breathed and the slow flutter of those long eyelashes as the boy dreamed. His desire to be a part of that dream flooded his senses with the wonder of it all and he cried silent tears.

The farewell was going to be hard for them both the following morning, so he and Blake decided to walk once again in the hills behind the store. CJ had given the boy his number to the mobile phone in the bus and was told collect calls would always be accepted anytime, day or night. Just the ability to talk with the boy might ease the pain.

"Now don't be running up my phone bill calling to talk about all the girls you've met in school," CJ said.

"Never," Blake laughed, "I'll only call to talk about us."

"We both have our commitments to keep, but I have a feeling that we'll see each other again very soon. Don't ask me why, but something will pull us together, it's the way things have been happening in our lives. You could say my vision quest has led me to straight to you, Blake. I want you to take the time and enjoy your family and know that you'll always be a part of my family too."

"I want you to help me pick a college, CJ. Anywhere, as long as it's close to you."

"Sure, we'll pick out the best, so work on your grades. Learn everything you can, whenever you can."

As a sign of his love, Blake gave him an eagle feather and a red leather pouch on which, in his boyish hand, he had inscribed: In beauty I walk. CJ was so touched and remembered that he had not thought to give the boy a gift this meaningful.

"Oh, Blake. I didn't think to get anything for you."

"It's not Christmas, CJ. This is a symbol of my spirit; it will guide your journey and bring you back. To me it's sacred, a part of me that now goes with you."

"This isn't the feather…it is? I'm honored, but you shouldn't have given it away like that, it's special. Nothing I could give you would match this; I'll guard it with my life. What can I give you in return?"

"That could only be you CJ. Come back soon. Hozjho naninaa doo, white man, may you walk with beauty around you."

Sitting alone on his bed, as Matt drove them slowly southwards, he could smell the boy all around him and his spirits lifted as he combed the feather through his fingers. He had met so many wonderful people in the past month, but this one boy...this amazing creature, was all he had ever wanted in life. There must be a way to bring them all back together. Blake had shown him the way of the People and he would be forever in the boy's debt. Keep well my love, he thought, until we come together again.

They drove south along the highway and stopped for lunch at a huge truck stop north of Phoenix. CJ wandered through the parts store and that's when he saw the box. He began to laugh and knew he just had to get it for Blake.

"What's that all about?" Matt asked.

"Just a little something for Blake," CJ chuckled.

"What now?"

"I bought him a huge air horn for that old Ford truck, just in case he runs into a herd of cattle when he's out on the road. Sorry, it's an inside joke."

"Ok, must have missed that one. Where shall we hole up tonight?" Matt asked.

"I'm for a motel, something with a big bathtub," Miguel said.

"Sounds good, I need a hot bath, my muscles are sore from that hike I took yesterday," CJ complained.

"Seems like you've been getting some pretty severe exercise these past few days," Matt laughed.

"Amen to that, wise guy."

After a few more hours on the road, they began a slow climb through a low mountain pass and came down the far side around supper time. Matt chose a motel on the outskirts of Red Rock, right off the highway. While CJ went in for the rooms, Miguel and Matt scouted for a decent dinner. They all ended up in the local Mexican cantina, deciding that they better get used to the food sooner or later. It was Friday night and the town was alive with folk, many who seemed on their way to drinking up their paychecks.

One group on the far side of the room was pretty rowdy and it wasn't long before glass broke and the manager came out from behind the bar. CJ wasn't paying much attention until Matt urged him to look. There were three guys, ranch hands, and they were giving the manager a hard time. He pointed towards the door and they stood, CJ thought this had the makings of a fight.

But this must have been a common problem here and the solution soon became apparent. The kitchen doors slammed opened revealing one huge hulk of a man. He stepped out and those cowboys grabbed their hats and ran. The hulk and the manager straightened things out and the other patrons returned to their food and drinks.

"Lord, what a giant of a man, he had to be three hundred pounds at least, "Matt said," just another rough night in Red Rock. I've heard that name in every western movie I ever watched, suppose this is the place?"

"I hear things get a lot wilder in Mexico," Miguel chimed in.

"Oh great…is that what we're up against? I suppose it's the toughest just where we're going?" CJ said.

"No, just kidding. The card my father sent was from Hermosillo. Pretty big town in Sonora, about a day's drive south of the border. Since he works for the government he should be pretty easy to find I think."

Matt smiled gratefully, "This sounds almost too easy, or am I mistaken?"

"We'll have to stop at the border for all kinds of paperwork, the bus might cause some difficulty, but I'll get in touch with the AAA," CJ said, "looks like nothing but smooth sailing from here to the border."

And later, as CJ lay in the hot bath he so wanted, his thoughts turned to Blake. The boy had really taken over his mind. It was the eagle, CJ remembered. There was something about that special place on the canyon rim that had infused itself into his very core. He was crazy to have walked away from the boy just as they were beginning to share. And then it occurred to him that maybe this was all part of the whole. Blake had forged a strength of mind and body with his vision quest, what have I done?

Being apart, starving his heart for the boy's love was certainly a lot like a quest. Had Blake realized this? He hadn't even opened the pouch.

CJ jumped from the bath and padded naked into his room. The overnight bag held the pouch and feather; he was never going to let them out of his sight. He held the bag in his hands and felt several lumps inside. What had Blake given him?

He pulled open the drawstring and peered inside. There was a red stone which CJ recognized as a lump of the clay from the canyon, the same material that Blake had used to paint his nose and the Dineh legends. There was a small leather skin filled with corn pollen and last of all, a folded paper which CJ slowly opened to reveal a drawing.

It was a simple picture of a boy and a man, standing together under the symbol of the eagle. Blake had drawn himself dressed in a woman's skirt, but what amazed him was that the boy had drawn his white man as a warrior with a bow in one hand and a knife in the other.

This is how he sees me, CJ thought, I am his Monster Slayer. And the meaning was not lost, CJ was meant to be the one who saved Blake, just as the boy was to be the one who saved the Dineh.

"Oh Blake," CJ moaned. "I will always be the one to save you."

He took the red stone into the bathroom and painted his nose red. Wrapping a towel around his waist, CJ sat on the floor of his room and tossed corn pollen to the four corners of the world. It brought him closer to the boy and his purpose in life. He knew that the Earth Mother had brought them together for a purpose, even Mrs. Morningstar had known that it would happen.

All of these boys they had met were children of the Mother. Each of them could perish if their roots were not firmly planted in the earth. CJ wasn't foolish enough to think he could rescue them all by himself, but if he could only touch their lives, if he and Blake could bring them hozjho it might make a difference. The seed was planted that night and would germinate in his mind during the many days ahead. He knew that his young warrior would be proud that he had finally grasped the concept that had driven the Dineh since the dawn of time.


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