CJ wrote a brief note and laid it on the bedside table next to the alarm clock, which he had set for ten o'clock. Poor Thomas, not used to these late night parties. He watched as the boy breathed, deep in a gentle sleep. The innocence of this sweet youth made him truly happy. Reaching down now and gently brushing aside a wayward strand of that straw colored hair lying across the boy's face.… I love touching him like this. Thomas stirred in his dreams and did not awaken, but a smile came to his lips.

CJ wondered anew at the words Blake had spoken their last night together. The boy had said I will walk with beauty all around me. Were these just the words of the ancient Dineh chant spoken as an offering of love or could he have known that I would find Thomas on my journey? Blake was wise beyond his years he now knew, the proof lay sleeping before him.

He had to meet Glen for breakfast in a few minutes and it would be better if he could have a chance to talk with the man alone. Hopefully Matt was still asleep as well, he stood a good chance since it was only seven-thirty and yesterday's extreme tension had taken a lot out of them all.

CJ quietly closed the hotel room door, took the elevator to the rear entrance and strode out into a glorious morning, warm sun and the tangy smell of salt air off the cove.

He found Glen sitting in a lounge chair on the stern of his boat, coffee mug in hand.

"Good morning…I should say great morning. Is it always like this?" CJ asked.

"Sure thing, you should have been up two hours ago to see the dawn, glorious colors this morning. So, where's your sidekicks?"

"Still asleep, we didn't get back from diner until almost two this morning."

"Should have warned you about that, these folks just love their late nights. And how did it go?"

"Alvarez is happy, he's rediscovered his son and amazed at his talents. Matt is happy because Miguel has worked out a plan to keep his family and his lover as well. He'll be returning east in a few months and heading off to college under Matt's watchful eye. But first, I think he's going to take some time and stay here with the family, they have a lot of things to learn about each other. Matt's going out on a flight to Los Angeles tomorrow to see another friend, Justin. He's another story altogether but that leaves Thomas and I here to discover Mexico, want to come along? We couldn't find a better guide than you."

"Alright, but only if we take the boat. You can't imagine just how harsh the desert is this time of year, and driving isn't the best way to travel. Besides, most of the ancient native settlements the boy wants to see are within hiking distance of the sea. Would you like to see the accommodations?" Glen asked.

The boat measured fifty-two feet in length and although wide it had a very shallow draft, whatever that meant. Juan and Steven were the only crew necessary, even in a storm, Glen assured him. They went down the stairs which Glen called it a ladder, into the forward part of the boat.

The bow held a large, comfortable stateroom, Glen's room with its own bath. He laughed when CJ commented on the plush carpeting.

"The bow gets pretty rough in a storm, which doesn't matter much to the skipper who would be on deck during bad weather anyway. I had the thick carpet added the first time a wave tossed me out of bed and onto the floor in the middle of the night."

Then there followed two other snug looking bedrooms, one occupied by the two young boys, a bathroom, storage areas and the aft end of the boat held the galley, dining and living area. It was spacious, a lot bigger than CJ imagined and lots more practical room than the bus.

"You live well, this really looks roomy," CJ said.

"My first boat wasn't even half this size and I must have banged my head twenty times a day on the overhead beams, I swore that wouldn't happen again, so that's the whole tour."

They returned to the deck and sat in lounge chairs near the stern. CJ accepted a mug of coffee and realized that one of the Mexican boys was preparing breakfast. The smell of fried fish and toasted bread wafted up the rear companionway to the deck.

"I still feed the best breakfast in town, hope you don't mind, I figured you might be hungry," Glen said.

"Your hospitality is gratefully accepted. I'm glad we have some time alone, I actually wanted to talk with you about our travels."

During breakfast, CJ told him about the adventures they had encountered on the trip so far and his concept of an extended gay family.

"I grew up without the support of my family after I came out," CJ said. "It was quite a revelation to learn that what you had always counted on just wasn't there any more. Some gay guys are lucky and manage to keep the family ties. How about you?"

"Guess I'm a bit like you, but at least I still talk with my parents. Mom prays every night that I will come to my senses and see the evil in homosexuality, so you can imagine how limited our conversations have become."

CJ nodded in agreement. "Those poor gay kids out there today really face a hard road I've learned. Right now Thomas is planning to tell his mother that he might be gay, he's proud to have discovered himself. But he could be steering himself into a brick wall too, I just don't know what she's like. I think the ultimate shame comes in denial of ourselves though, and the waste of precious life that creates. I came out at eighteen, so who am I to stand in his way? At least I can be there to catch him if he takes a tumble, don't you think I should?"

"I couldn't agree more," Glen said. "But look at Juan and Steven, they're still hiding their love from the world, down here that's a given. This society is just too hung up and their religious faith keeps them there."

"Don't get me started on religion," CJ said. "Now that you've left your practice how can you afford all this?"

"Honestly, I can't, at least not for long," Glen admitted. "I'm gonna have to go back up north in about three or four years and put it all back together. Maybe I'll just find a small rural practice and make house calls."

"Sounds ghastly if you ask me," CJ said, "I'm retired and staying there, interested in joining us?"

"Joining what?"

"Why, dear fellow, as I said, you're in the family and I always share good fortune with family members. We gotta stick together, ya know?"

"Ok, I'll bite, where's the worm?" Glen asked.

"Matt and I are serious about taking care of these boys if they need the help. You know the costs, college, grad school and just plain living. I've been blessed with a few dollars and I'm still working a stock portfolio that's growing daily, that's our seed money for the venture. I'm planning a nice estate in the East that my friend Danny will run and I need someone to run the West Coast branch. That could be you.

"I want these gay kids to have a safe place to live and grow while they're in school, a sanctuary from the pressures and hatred we're beginning to see out there in the world towards these boys. A place to call home if they want and someplace to share with their friends, a place to be normal, without shame for who they are or what they want to become."

"This sounds like an expensive proposition. Do you really have access to that kind of money?" Glen asked.

"I've started with plenty of capital. If I form a foundation now the seed money would be close to about ten million. It will realize almost twelve percent this year alone," CJ said proudly.

"Good Lord, you're serious?"

"Absolutely, this is nothing but serious business; there are too many lives at stake here. We're going to spend the next few days together, Glen. Plenty of opportunity for us to talk about this in greater detail. I just wanted you to know where I was coming from."

Glen seemed to have a good head on his shoulders so CJ decided to broach the subject of Blake and Thomas as he reached for the fresh plate of toast. The pressures of juggling two loves at once and how they were soon going to be on a collision course was driving him crazy.

"But now I need some real advice from you, my friend," CJ said, "I have a bit of a sticky wicket as they say. While Matt, Miguel and I were wandering the deserts of Arizona I picked up a little more baggage, his name is Blake."

"My God, you mean there are two boys hot on your case?" Glen said incredulously, "I have never… you are quite insatiable, aren't you?"

"It's more like my dumb luck really, I didn't do anything. Except for Blake, he got into my heart so fast I didn't even see it coming. Thomas on the other hand was just vulnerable and I think repressing his gay feelings to begin with, I came along at just the right time."

Glen raised his coffee mug and made a toast, "Here's to more dumb luck and may some of it rub off on me. Ahh…you wouldn't want to give up some pointers on how these things happen to you?"

"Blake is my life, the one I have been searching for and nothing will change that. I know this sounds strange, but I was driven to Blake. It all started with this vision a Cherokee woman told me about..."

Glen sat in rapt silence as CJ told him of Jackie Morningstar and his mother. For more than ever, CJ believed the woman's vision had been at the center of this journey. And when the tale was told Glen smiled.

"So Blake is the forever relationship, and Thomas?"

"Thomas has the need for an older man in his life," CJ said, "But the phrase father figure makes me more than a little uncomfortable. The gay thing is all so new to him, whereas Blake seems to have just reached an understanding about something he's been familiar with for a long time."

"I relate to that, I was aware of my gay leanings early in life too but I never realized just what it meant until I fell in love the first time," Glen said.

"When was that?" CJ asked.

"After college, medical school actually. I started late, very late in fact. My father wanted me in his legal firm so I studied law on and off for a while, ended up doing para-legal stuff for almost five years before I came to my senses and went back to the university for medicine.

"His name was Doctor John Bellamy, M.D. I was just so envious of those initials after his name that it took me a while to realize how cute he was. I was a first year resident and he was already working at the hospital. He was my supervisor for six months on the ward and real hard on me too. It was a love-hate thing for a while and then I was off to pediatrics and was glad to be away from him.

"We bumped into each other at a bar a few months later and he told me that he was a hard boss because he had a crush on me the whole time but couldn't handle those feelings. Imagine that, we fell in love and were together for almost two years."

"Then…you split up?" CJ asked.

"Not exactly," Glen sighed. "He had this thing about the military, he was in the reserves and finally felt he had to go and do the Vietnam thing. He was killed in an ambush along with three other medical staffers from a battalion hospital. I didn't find out about his death until two months after it happened. His parents didn't like us as a couple so his sister finally called me asking for his belongings."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked," CJ said.

"No, it's ok. I was a mess for quite a while but I just threw myself further into work, at least until the war in 'Nam came home and started hitting the streets of LA all around me. John's been gone for almost ten years now and I still expect to see him swinging down that pier any minute. He loved this place, it was very primitive back then, we were gonna build a home here when we retired. Now I'm here by myself, but I'm not alone, know what I mean?"

"Yeah, think I do. It takes a lot of courage."

"I didn't mean to drop this grisly tale in your lap, CJ. But like you, it was something that I just had to share, thanks for listening."

"That's what family is for," CJ said.

"How true…and here comes yours."

"Maybe you should have said ours. I want you to be a part of this."

There was a shout from the pier and Matt and Thomas were soon on board joining them for breakfast. Matt accepted a coffee from Juan while Thomas was satisfied with stealing the toast from CJ's fingertips with a smile.

"Thanks for letting us sleep in, I'm still zonked out from last night," Matt said.

"If you drink the local wines you'll discover that it knocks your socks off and then stuffs 'em down your throat the following morning," Glen chuckled.

"Yeah, my mouth did taste like dirty socks this morning."

Thomas yawned and stretched his muscles, a display greatly enjoyed by Juan and Steven who couldn't resist a few suggestive glances. Glen said something to them in gutter Spanish, which made them blush as they skipped back down the ladder to the kitchen.

"What was that all about?" Thomas asked.

"I told them we need to ready the boat for a three or four day trip up the coast. Hope you like seafood, young man. We'll troll for some fresh fish along the way. How soon do you think we should leave, CJ?" Glen asked.

"Crack of dawn sounds fine to me, always liked the water in early morning," CJ replied.

"Well, I'm out of here at eight tomorrow morning for LA, hope you guys have a great time," Matt said.

"Say hello to your friend," Glen said," CJ mentioned that he's a nice boy so tell him to watch his back in that town."

"And that's not my only problem. Justin is flying out to interview for the arts school, I really have to be there for him, but Miguel is here."

"And will likely stay here for another month, Matt. Remember, you'll have him for four years of college and beyond if you play your cards right," CJ said.

"You'll have the time, life is a lot slower here," Glen assured him. "People take their time making decisions. Miguel will still be here when you return."

"So enjoy your week back in the real world and besides, I see Miguel coming down the pier," CJ asked.

Glen was introduced and gave Miguel a big hug.

"From what I hear, you're one lucky boy," he said.

"Thank you, I think I am," Miguel replied. "I have to be, look who I hang out with, three great friends."

He slipped his hand into Matt's and they sat for a while talking about the night before and Miguel's parents but CJ could tell they longed to be elsewhere and alone.

"Uh, if you'll excuse us, I want to have a little chat with Miguel," Matt finally said.

"Sure, we'll be right here, planning our trip," CJ said.

They walked back to the hotel and Matt silently closed the door to his room behind them. Miguel was suddenly in tears, crying because he was happy and sad. Matt reached for the tissues.

"I'm sorry, this is a mess, isn't it?" Miguel said. "Papa is so grateful to you so don't be worried about us, we're going to be just fine. But I have to get in a school or I'm gonna be stuck here. I'm sorry Matt...I know this is tearing you up too."

"No, I'll be alright as long as I know you're doing the right things and enjoying your family. As for school, I do have a close friend, he teaches at Julliard in Baltimore. Interested?"

"Really, you got to be kidding? It's a great place, the school I've been thinking about in fact. How did you know?"

"I didn't, but it's what you deserve and they certainly deserve you. And selfishly enough for me it's close to home."

There was a general flurry of clothing at this point, leaving them both breathless and quite naked on the bed. But then their minds and bodies went into slow motion as they made love, prolonging the feelings until their bodies were spent. It might very well be a long time before they could share this level of intimacy again and they both knew it.

Matt reflected silently as the boy lay curled beside him, warm and reassuring. This was all part of the love he had been searching for. He might be off to see Justin tomorrow, but this boy was going to be his future. The boy had caused him pain this past week but his choice had been made, Miguel was the one.

The poor boy had been exposed to the worst elements of gay life and from that experience he'd found little to bolster his self- confidence as a gay person. Matt could only hope from this moment on the boy would learn what a responsibility it was to be in a relationship. Miguel seemed to sense the feeling of the moment when he spoke.

"I love you, Matthew," he said quietly.

"I know you do, sweet boy. Can we just try not to hurt each other for a while?"

"I promise, no hurt… just love," Miguel said. "When I saw you this morning I realized just what you mean to me. It's hard to be in love, isn't it? I mean, screwing up is just too easy and love takes a lot of work to keep going. I still have a lot to learn I guess, please be patient with me."

"Whatever it takes, Miguel."

"You once told me I'd been looking for love in all the wrong places," Miguel said, "you've never been anything but the right man all along." They were a little late returning to the pier but no one seemed surprised when they finally sauntered back down the hill to the docks.

Thomas gave them a shout from the masthead as they came aboard. He had been learning the boat's rigging from an enchanted Juan, under the watchful gaze of Steven. CJ knew he'd have to keep a careful eye on those three.

Glen offered them all a short ride around the cove and powered up the auxiliary engine. The craft moved through the water towards the mouth of the harbor where he cut the engines. Steven, with the aid of Juan and Thomas, hoisted the sails and the wind took a steady hold. With the vast expanse of sail pulling them along, they sped through the mass of other boats at anchor in the outer harbor. Glen turned south at the outer buoy and from about a mile offshore, took them across the length of the town before turning back at the major shipping lanes.

Thomas and Juan had climbed the larger of the two masts and were pointing at sights in the distance. Glen was allowing Miguel to steer the boat and the boy was having a great time of it. Sitting on the wide locker at the stern, CJ and Matt looked forward at all of their happy friends.

"Think we done good again, partner?" CJ said.

"Yes, it's a strange crew, but just about what I expected," Matt agreed.

"Everything ok with your boy?"

"Yes and no. The short separation isn't coming at a great time for us, but we have a future. It might be good to be away from each other for a while too, sort out some feelings, ya know? Can't ask for more right now."

Glen called out for the boys to haul down the sails and as the boat's progress slowed the little engine came back to life. The crew docked the boat and Thomas jumped across to tie them off. Every eye on the boat watched his graceful leap. A real gazelle, CJ thought...my graceful young gazelle.

Matt and Miguel returned to the hotel to change for dinner. Thomas and CJ had already brought their clothes down to the boat for tomorrows scheduled trip. And as they went below to change they could hear Glen haggling in Spanish with the little fishing boat tied up across the pier.

Thomas looked windblown and healthy, but already turning red from his day in the sun. CJ applied some aloe lotion to his face and back to ease the coming pain. The boy might be tanned but the sun out on the water was much more intense. Thomas returned the favor, gently applying the lotion to CJ's face and he hummed as his fingers worked in slow circles

"Happy, are you?" CJ asked.

"This is all so wonderful, I'm enjoying every second. Thanks for having me," Thomas said.

"Oh, I can't get enough of having you. But I think Juan is sweet on you too."

Thomas blushed and turned away for a moment. Sitting on the bed, he looked up at CJ, embarrassed.

"He wants to have sex with me you know, they both do. Said I could fuck them all night long if I wanted."

"And…I suppose that excites you?"

"Would it make you jealous?"

"Absolutely, but I'm not crazy. If it didn't happen now it would have later. Look, Thomas, you're an exciting, good-looking young man…many guys will want you. You know it's your choice and I won't be jealous. I already love you, but I can't have you. I'm not looking over your shoulder, you make the moves."

"I don't know what I want to do, CJ."

"It's the same worry you always have, my dear, the criticism. Besides that, I don't think you see a line anymore between your sexual desires. Am I right?"

"I wonder now if there ever was a line," Thomas said, "Can I really be gay? How could I have been so ignorant all these years?"

"I don't think its ignorance. I think you just lack experience, everyone has a preference. Do you want to have sex with Juan or Steven?"

"Maybe it's the sex I want, but not particularly Juan. Does that make me a pervert?"

"No dear, you're just horny, eighteen, very inexperienced and oh so beautiful," CJ said, "But how do you think Glen would feel if he knew about the offer?"

"Juan says Glen likes to watch when he and Steven get it on. I've never watched that kind of thing before… the thought excites me."

"Me too, my goodness, we learn something new every day about our new friends. Does this mean you want to have a threesome? Sex between three guys can get pretty complicated," CJ said." Or maybe Glen and I could watch the three of you. Can I have the movie rights?"

"That's perverse. Do I get to write the script?' Thomas asked.

"Now who's the pervert?" CJ said

They both laughed, who was kidding whom? CJ couldn't resist embracing the boy in their moment of quiet solitude.

"Did I tell you that I love you today?" CJ asked.

"Yeah, that's one...and I'm keeping score," Thomas said as he shuffled off to the bathroom.

They dressed and went up on deck looking for the crew. Glen had just hoisted a large tub of fresh spiny lobsters over the stern and Juan and Steven were standing close by all smiles and giggles. "

"What's with the lobsters?" CJ asked.

"Local delights, thought we could do dinner on the beach tomorrow night, big fire, lots of stars in the sky…maybe a few right here on planet earth too," Glen said.

Without realizing it, they were both staring at Thomas, who looked particularly ravishing with his skin all pink from the sun and that blonde hair flying in the breeze. The boy would have blushed at the attention but he was deep in conversation with the other two.

"That's a treasure beyond belief, CJ. Count your blessings," Glen suggested.

"You haven't done so badly yourself, my friend. I'm looking forward to this little excursion."

"We're never too old to learn new tricks, are we?" Glen asked.

"I learned some thing new already," CJ said, "Seems your two have the hots for mine. Or so Thomas tells me."

"What? Why those little…"

"Hold on there, Glen. We both know they could sneak off and screw behind our backs, and there'd be no way to stop them either. Thomas is horny enough to find it interesting but honest enough to at least tell me about it. I think the idea scares him a little"

"Shit, I'm embarrassed. Sorry, CJ didn't think it would go that far," Glen said.

"Oh, I think it will happen, boys will be boys. But I also think we should control it, at least I'll know before it happens, Thomas will give it away. Beside, I'd like to watch, how about you?"

"Wow, aren't you liberal. That could be fun. I'm not really the jealous type, are you?"

"Sure, sometimes. But I might as well let you know now. Thomas has a problem, or thinks he does. His cock is very small. I just hope Juan and Steven don't go in for big cocks."

"Only mine, I hope. They aren't that well equipped either. What are you suggesting we do, let them have a threesome?"

"I think we should let them do what they want. But they're your boys so you have to decide if it's ok," CJ said.

"Come to think of it, I know this quiet little beach up the coast. This might be fun and after all, isn't that why you came down here?"

That issue settled, they declared the sun was over the yardarm and cocktail hour was upon them. Drinks were just being mixed when Matt and Miguel returned, flushed from love and dressed for dinner. Juan and Steven came up on deck in their best clothes, a bit worn but immaculately clean. Thomas joined them too, handsome as ever, and they strolled up the avenue towards town. Miguel had made dinner reservations at a small, secluded restaurant, a place Carlos had suggested.

CJ wondered how it looked for seven men to be out eating together without a woman in sight. He banished the thought when the owner smiled at them and then stared open mouthed at the two American boys. He's one of us, CJ realized.

The dinner went well into the evening, with vintage wine and even a flaming desert for seven eager mouths. Glen's two boys seemed impressed at just about every dish put before them and kept thanking the waiters profusely for the wonderful food. Glen smiled, explaining they didn't get out all that much.

After coffee, CJ signaled for the bill and the owner came over and informed him there would be no charge. The dinner was courtesy of Carlos Alvarez, and the poor guy could not refuse to accept the police commissioner's request. CJ understood, so he left a big tip for the waiters.

Matt and Miguel lagged behind during their stroll back to the waterfront. It was time to say their good byes. And as they approached the hotel, CJ could see the familiar driver and car waiting to take Miguel home. There were hugs all around and then the dear boy was gone, Matt excused himself and disappeared to his room.

Thomas was quite saddened by the parting of his two new friends. CJ was thinking about a time in the not too distant future when they would have to say good bye as well. The five of them sat around on the stern making plans for tomorrow's trip. Glen and Thomas poured over maps of the desert and area surrounding Bahia Kino and the Seri village to the south.

The plan was to anchor offshore and hike the three or four miles inland to the site of the abandoned ruins Glen had found several years before. Thomas was excited over Glen's description of the site. There were caves to be explored and mounds that could only contain clues to the past settlement.

At ten o'clock, Glen signaled that it was time to turn in for an early start in the morning. CJ and Thomas made their way below for their first night on board.

"I'm really excited. I mean, over the trip tomorrow," Thomas said.

"I know what you meant; I'm looking forward to this too."

"Did I tell you I loved you today, CJ?"

"Thomas, every time you look at me I feel your love. I should be thanking you."

"We make a good couple, do you think? Like Matt and Miguel."

CJ knew this comparison was what had sparked the boy's love for him anyway, had it been only a few days ago? Watching Thomas envy that relationship and wanting something for his own had brought them together.

"Thomas, do you think we can be a couple. I'm talking about a long term relationship now? Maybe together for years, until…"

"Why not? I thought..."

"No, don't doubt that I love you, I'm crazy about you. But, soon you'll have to go home, to your family. And by then I will be living with Blake. Will you come back to me under those conditions?" CJ asked.

"I see what you mean. We haven't talked about this yet, have we? Couldn't I live with you? I'm an adult, I could move out of home any time."

"Would that be after you told your family that you're gay?"

"I don't know about telling the whole family, but I'll tell my mom, she'll support me."

"Really, your mother would accept that?"

"Yeah, she already has an idea. CJ, I've been meaning…there are a few things I haven't told you, I'm sorry," Thomas said.

"Don't be sorry, there are things I haven't told you either, but I've never lied to you. Have you been lying to me?"

"Yes, I've lied to you. Sort of, look, I'm sorry about it. I've never been able to face the truth, at least until I met you and then I waited too long. I fell in love with you and it was just too hard to go back and… I've had sex with a guy before, two in fact."

"I've had sex with dozens, so what, but things like that do make a difference in a relationship, why wouldn't you tell me?" CJ asked.

"By the time I could I was afraid it would make you stop loving me."

"Oh, Thomas. It doesn't matter, I'm not a prude. Do you think I expected you to be a virgin? I thought because of your concerns, that you didn't have sex or were afraid of criticism. It doesn't change the way I feel about you, I still love you, sweetheart. Do you want to tell me about it?"

"Yes, I've been trying to think of a way."

"How about just the plain truth?" CJ said.

"I owe you that, I know. Oh God, it was a long time ago, the first time. I was fourteen and I don't know how old he was, nineteen or twenty maybe. I used to hitch hike on weekends, not really going anyplace special, just trying to go anywhere. This college guy picked me up, asked me directions to a park on the other side of the village. I told him and he asked if I would show him, how naive, I said yes.

"We drove up to the park in his van and sat in the rest stop at the end of the road. He got me high on pot and asked if he could suck my cock. I was stupefied and he just put his hands on my crotch and it was already hard so he took that as a yes. He pulled my jeans down, and he was so gentle. Well I was stoned enough to just allow it all to happen. He sucked me off and ....did it twice.

"I had those thoughts before, you know, about guys. I had found a porno magazine in the locker room at school, naked women and guys with huge erections, hard core stuff. I suppose even then I knew my dick was too small but I hoped it would grow to be like the guys in those pictures. The college guy sucking my cock was pretty exciting, but he kept trying to shove his finger up my butt while he sucked. He finally told me the only way I could avoid being raped was to suck his dick. I was a terrible cocksucker and this guy came all over the place while I threw up all over the back of his van."

CJ was sitting on the bed by now, with Thomas on his lap, arms around each other. Why did every boy have some terrible story to tell about the first time?

"The second guy...was a total disaster, biggest mistake I ever made. You know him...it was Rudy."

"Oh shit, that explains a lot," CJ said.

"That was almost three years ago. We had gym class together and I was just surrounded by naked guys, I couldn't stop looking at them, especially Rudy. He had a huge cock, at least compared to mine. I was so self conscious that I used to change clothes in one of the bathroom stalls for gym. Rudy was the only one who thought that was funny and made a big deal of it in front of the others, I hated him.

"We had several fights after school that semester and I beat his ass every time. Mom was eventually called to the headmaster's office and I got punished but so did Rudy. My dear mother, always the peacemaker, insisted that Rudy and I become friends and arranged a beach trip for us together that summer.

"That must have been terrible for you."

"Yeah, it stunk pretty bad at first. Rudy went off, doing his own thing and chasing girls. But it only made him horny and one afternoon I walked in on him jerking off. I was just so fascinated by his cock and he seemed to enjoy letting me watch.

"We both jerked off together a few times over the next several days and then Rudy changed suddenly. He tried to become my best buddy, I was pretty stupid to fall for it, and ended up in bed with him. That's all he wanted, something to hold over my head, and dumb old Thomas gave it to him."

"What an incredible asshole," CJ said.

"What an idiot I was, CJ. Rudy and I were naked in bed, both jerking on our cocks and he reached over and pulled on mine for a while. I was just going to return the favor when he took my head in his hands and pushed my face down on his cock. I didn't resist, I just couldn't and Rudy knew it. He ended up on top, fucking me in the face as I lay under him, probably pretending I was just another girlfriend. I was choking half the time when he pushed himself way down in my throat.

"But honestly, I loved every minute. But then I wasn't prepared at all for the results. Like an ass he made a deep thrust and came before I knew what he was doing. I choked, threw up and nearly drown in his cum and my own vomit. It made a terrible mess and he just laughed, put on his pants and walked out, leaving me to clean up."

"And that was it?"

"Fortunately. We never had sex again after that; he got what he wanted. I prayed he wouldn't tell anyone, and so far he hasn't. But he gives me a look sometimes, like he wants to tell everyone."

"The Rudy types of this world usually end up getting theirs sooner or later," CJ said. "I don't predict a good future for him. And Thomas...thanks for being honest with me. I don't love you any less. In fact I think it makes me love you more."

Thomas kissed him, a sweet kiss, a kiss of relief now that the truth had been told. CJ could feel that the boy had now grown even closer and that spoke volumes about just how their future might be tied together.

"I think we should get some sleep now," CJ said. "Tomorrow is a big day and we are going to have so much fun, I can hardly wait."

They settled in bed together and Thomas once again lay with his head on CJ's chest.

"I hear your heart beat," Thomas said. "It's such a loving heart."

CJ put his arms around the boy and Thomas snuggled in close. The rise and fall of the waves in the harbor soon rocked the boy to sleep. Tomorrow would begin a new adventure with the wonderful lad in his arms. I don't know why but I think something big is about to happen for us. Blake said I had an understanding of the world in which his spirit dwells, is he trying to tell me something? I'll call him two days from now and then I have to tell him about Thomas.

Somehow he knew Blake would understand. Thomas would be accepted as one of the family. They were so different and yet alike in the way he loved them. It was more than just love, he admired them both. Thomas was less complicated...his life more straightforward...well, except for the new gay understanding.

Blake was facing more of a hardship. His family might come to terms with their gay son, but would they accept a white man as his partner? Did the boy understand what CJ was offering him? He was looking forward to a return to the desert; it would remind him of Blake. He would make time to ask the Earth Mother for her blessing on his family; there was still some corn pollen in the little red bag. And he would ask Thomas to join him. Performing the ritual together would please Blake.

Somehow he had avoided creating a disaster to that relationship. By avoiding his sexual feelings towards Thomas he had in fact strengthened his bond with Blake. CJ suddenly realized he hadn't had a sexual encounter since Jackie and that was amazing. It was incredible considering how he felt towards Blake and Thomas. Had he lost interest in sex?

But then he smiled as Thomas snored softly beside him. No, he had not lost interest; he had replaced it with something more important. He hadn't felt this way since he fell for Sam at the beach. Love had come back into his life. The passion he felt for Blake, the concern that the boy should love him forever had kept him from having sex with this boy. It was the same for Thomas, here it was parental.

It was hard to imagine how his life had made such a turn in such a short time. He should be proud of these feelings, they were so necessary to his well being. And what was it he had said to Glen about luck? This wasn't luck at all, it was his reward.


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