The brochure for the canoe trip on the New River promised adventure and total relaxation. A few of the glossy photos caught my eye and made me smile. Just ordinary people paddling canoes, their smiling faces surrounded by lush green forest. Sigh, it seemed to be just what I needed so my dad called for a reservation.

I hadn't been in a canoe since I was in Scouts, but it all seemed familiar when I stepped aboard that first morning. My dad had to sign off for me, some insurance regulation, and he paid the fee. I'd asked for nothing last month for a graduation gift, this had been my dad's idea.

"Go find yourself, get away from the world. Come fall you'll be up to your eyeballs in work at college, you need one last summer to enjoy being a kid." God did he know me well; I was still a kid at heart. High school seemed to have come and gone in a heartbeat. But now I was eighteen, I needed to accept adulthood and move on in life...nothing scared me more.

The owner of American River Adventures assured me I would find the river quiet with a gentle current this time of year. He had packed provisions for several days since there were three separate stop off points, each with a shelter I could use.

"Well you sure came to the right place for a little alone time," Mr. Clark assured me. "Don't get too caught up and forget to come home, " he joked.

My dad shook his hand and helped me load the canoe. He had taken this same journey, not on the river, but in life. The summer he turned eighteen dad had hiked the Appalachian Trail from Georgia on up into New England. It was the hardest thing he had ever done but it catapulted him right into law school.

And that was the point of this trip, I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing. I had spent my senior year without a clue. I had the grades but not the inspiration, choosing a career amidst my many interests didn't seem possible. The final result, I had signed up for a chef's school in Florida. Cooking college, was I crazy?

My parents had seemed supportive ... mildly. I am sure they thought it was just another phase, but it was a safe choice for me, I loved to cook. I suffered the raised eyebrows of my friends, I suppose they had a point. I only had two close friends, at least guys that mattered to me. I was still working on figuring out the female of the species.

I wasn't very popular at school. I wasn't a jock, a geek or a nerd, I was just me. My father's position in the community certainly didn't help my case, he was a judge. I focused on academics instead of dating, at least the other kids left me alone.

I wasn't a bad looking guy, at least that's what Stan said, and he was my best friend. My other best friend was his boyfriend so I guess that made him gay. No biggie, I was raised in a liberal environment, the only child of the most feared man in town. If I had worn a dress to school no one would have said a bad word to me, but I wouldn't do that, I wasn't gay.

I had a map, provisions, first aid kit and almost a hundred miles of smooth water ahead if I chose to stay out that long. I was smiling too, just like those people in the brochure, and why not? Peace and quiet, that's what I was here for, time to think about the future. I shoved away from the dock and paddled a dozen strokes into the slow moving current.

It was almost as if I didn't need to paddle at all, the canoe kept a straight course all by itself. I gazed out across the water and watched fish jumping along the shoreline. Brightly colored birds flitted in and out of the shadows among the trees and their chatter served to amuse me. How little time I'd spent enjoying nature this way, this was real good fun.

I followed each curve on my map, noting landmarks and counting the bridges. By noon I'd traveled almost six miles and thought the current must be particularly strong today. Cows in pastures and beer cans along the shore marred my image of being in a deep wilderness. The map showed there was a small town ahead and then nothing beyond for miles until the end of my trip.

Brockton wasn't much, a few buildings and another bridge over my head. I waved at an old man sitting along the shore, fishing pole in hand, and he waved back. I was only a few dozen yards away as I glided past but neither of us spoke. I knew he'd had no luck today, it was too hot.

In minutes I was around the bend and the town was forgotten. Now there were only eight miles to the point where I would tie up to shore and spend the night. Through the trees came the sound of voices whooping, followed by a loud splash. I drifted around the corner and came upon a small inlet where water tumbled into the river from a stream.

The voices belonged to a couple of boys and as I watched one of them swung out on a rope over the river and dropped with a mighty splash. The boy came up sputtering only feet away from the canoe and gasped at my sudden appearance. The remaining boy yelled and waved so I raised my hand in reply.

The youngster in the water swam over to the side of the canoe and stared up at me. "Hey, mister, where ya goin?"

The face was pure farm boy, his muscular body tanned by the sun and that's when I realized they were both quite naked and didn't seem the least bit shy about it. I guessed the boy in the water to be about fourteen, the one on shore slightly younger.

"Just out having fun like you are," I said.

"Take us with you ... can you do that?" the boy asked.

"I ... I don't see how that's possible ... what would your parents say?" I asked.

I had always wanted a younger brother; friendly kids like this had a certain appeal. Not that I was interested in his body but so far all I'd seen were his head and chest. His long wet hair was plastered to his face but it did nothing to hide that huge smile and white teeth.

"They won't care, its summer ... they aren't even home this week," the boy said.

I shook my head. "I would need your parent's permission, besides you don't even know me. Don't they tell you not to talk to strangers? I might be a dangerous man."

The boy broke into laughter at that comment, and I saw a real twinkle in his eye. "So we could come if my granny says it's OK?"

"I might still be dangerous, she'd never agree," I said.

"I bet she would, wanna find out?"

"You're pretty sure about this aren't you? Why all of a sudden do you want to run off down river with me?"

"Jerry and I haven't seen anyone interesting on the river in a long time, he's my cousin ... Oh, I'm Talbot James Winslow, but most folks just call me Tally. What's your name?"

"Evan Parsons ... so why is this little trip so important to you? I was planning to be back this way fairly soon, I'm only out for a few days."

"Aww, you look like a fun guy and this town is so boring. I'm gonna die if I don't get some excitement." That twinkle was back in his eyes and I could swear he knew what he was doing. How would a kid like this have any experience? But Stan had made me aware of certain things and right now I could tell this kid was flirting with me.

"OK, you got me with that one, I am a fun guy. We can go talk to your granny but I still doubt if she'll let you go," I said. What the hell was I thinking; did I really want them along?

Tally's smile got bigger, if that was even possible, and he let go of the canoe. I paddled over towards shore and the boys pulled me in close enough to tie up to a fallen tree. I pulled myself out on the roots and stepped on shore, my first real chance to check them both out.

They both had dirty blonde hair, much the same length as well. The all over tans seemed to suggest that they ran around naked most of the time which explained their general lack of modesty.

I could tell Jerry was the younger by the sparse hair above his cock, thirteen at least. Not that his equipment was diminished, far from it, both boys were ahead of the curve for that age. Younger meant shyer and Jerry fit the bill as he hung back a bit, less certain about me than his bolder cousin. And then there were the eyes. Tally's blue eyes twinkled; Jerry's were paler but just as blue.

Tally's body was solid muscle, nothing less than what I would expect from a farm boy who had to earn his keep. Jerry looked softer; his hips weren't quite as narrow but his ass was damn near perfect. OK, and where had that thought come from?

I looked up into Tally's eyes and saw the look of amusement. "Do we pass?"

"You look fit and healthy, I might need some help in paddling," I said. Yes, Tally had experience around guys, Stan would agree. "So where is Granny?"

I allowed myself to follow them up a path into the pasture above. For purely selfish reasons I lagged behind since any boy that age has to be followed. And to my amazement I ended up watching their butts.

Yes, Jerry's bottom was still kind of fleshy, adolescence was still something new to his body. Tally's was flatter and didn't wiggle as much; I knew they would be firm if I touched them. OK Evan, that's way out of line, but I knew Tally would love it if I did.

For some reason Tally had me pegged as curious even though I didn't think of him sexually. That probably wasn't necessary; he was doing a lot of thinking for himself. Just inviting me up to see his granny was strange, but then Tally appeared to get his way with people. After all here I was, and now it only remained to be seen how Jerry fit into all this.

The land rose and fell around us, cows dotted the pasture and I saw farm buildings in the near distance. Tally led us straight towards a small shed beside the largest barn and we stepped in through the open door. Ahh, this is where they stashed their clothes.

"I was just beginning to think you guys might be nudist farmers. That would make life interesting come milking time," I cracked.

Tally laughed but Jerry damn near fell over laughing. I didn't think it was that funny but apparently he thought so. And for the first time he spoke.

"Oh, Uncle Terry has got machines that suck the milk out of those cows, ask Tally, he knows all about that," Jerry said.

Tally blushed and I could just imagine the story he would probably like to keep to himself. Who said farm boys don't have fun?

"Put a little cream in the milk did you, Tally?" I asked.

Jerry had to sit down he was laughing so hard, that earned him a punch in the arm from Tally. But the boy owned up to it with a nod of his head and further blushing. God, he was about the cutest thing I'd ever met. Stop it Evan, you can't think of him that way ... but I did.

Overalls and boots were all they put on, enough to be respectable in front of a woman, and then we walked up to the farm house. My grandpa used to talk about farm life and how hard it was, I could see how neat this place was, someone seemed to care about how it looked.

The house was in need of some paint but it looked warm and cozy, a place Tally's family had probably held for generations. We walked around the house to the front and there sat Granny snapping beans on the front porch.

"Tally ... there you are, and who's this you brought back with you?" She brushed back a few gray hairs that had strayed and went on snapping the beans. Her smile was infectious, a country woman with a sense of humor.

"Evan Parsons," I said by way of introducing myself. I knew the protocol; I sat down at the table opposite her and grabbed a handful of beans to strip off.

She smiled. "You know that's usually woman's work you got your hands on."

I laughed. "Yeah, then we share a lot more in common than you might think, I'm going to study as a chef this fall."

"Oh, really? So what brings you out this way, Mr. Parsons?"

"Evan, please ... and Tally didn't even tell me your name, I'm sorry."

"Boy's a brat, got no manners a'tall, I'm Dorothy Winslow, Tally's my grandson ... but just one of six, he ain't nothin special." She threw a piece of bean at the boy and laughed when it bounced off his nose. Tally stuck out his tongue and then smiled. It was all a lie, the boy was definitely her favorite.

"Well Ms. Winslow, I was taking a nice quiet trip down river when this screaming monkey swung out over the water and damn near dropped into the canoe."

She laughed at my description and threw another bean at Tally, he ducked this one. "And I bet he was naked as the day he was born too. Don't think I don't know what you boys are doin down there, hear?"

It was my turn to laugh. "Well yes, I didn't see any evidence of clothing, but it sure looked like fun."

"So you were drifting down the river and got ambushed," Dorothy said. "My husband and I used to go rowing on that river when he was alive, rest his soul. Frank was quite a fisherman, but do you see these boys bringing me any fish? Come summer and their minds go out to pasture with the livestock."

"The farm looks very nice, it must be a lot of work," I said.

"Terry does a fine job keepin the place up. He's got four boys, and Tally here is the youngest. Don't think his mind is on farmin much, he'll be off once he finishes school. Where you from Mr...Evan?"

"Asheville, my daddy has been a county judge up there for nearly fourteen years. I chose a culinary college in Florida and got accepted, that starts this fall. I just graduated high school last month."

"A young man on his way up, that's what I see. So why did the boys drag you up here off the river?"

I looked down at Tally and he smiled, the brat was going to get me to ask her if he could. Well I'd better or we would be here all afternoon.

"I think the boys are bored, they wanted to go camping with me," I said.

She looked over at Tally. "Cat got your tongue, boy? Or did you hire Evan to do all your talking for you?"

"He's doin just fine all by himself," Tally said.

"Well bored he is, done everything except burn down the barn this summer. Now his sidekick is here, double my trouble," Dorothy said. "Sure go on, take them out of my sight for a few days, the boy is old enough to handle himself. You want to go too, Jerry?"

Jerry nodded, this conversation was definitely off his home turf, but he played shy very well. If Tally was trying to get something going with me, what did Jerry expect? I could only imagine what Tally had been teaching the younger boy.

"Go on then, just be back before Saturday ... and for heaven's sake, keep your damn clothes on. Screaming monkey, I'll have to remember that one."

"Are you sure, you don't even know me," I said.

"Sure enough, I'm a pretty good judge of people, you look fine to me. Why don't we go raid the pantry and see what kind of eats you need for them," Dorothy said.

She led the way into the house and I admired her huge kitchen, but I was stunned at her pantry. Rows of jars, hundreds of them, everything neatly sealed and labeled. Here was a woman that could feed her family all winter long without more then a few trips to the store, her garden must be something special.

I filled a box as she handed me things, knowing it was way too much, but then she knew how boys could eat when they had a mind to. I asked Tally if he and Jerry needed to pack some clothes and got a sneer in return, but they both brought out sleeping bags, all a naked kid would need.

I thanked Dorothy for her kindness and she just told me to put the boys ashore if they got to be a bother, the walk back might do them some good. We waved goodbye and set off back towards the river. Tally was all for shucking their clothes right off but I suggested they might need them later on if we ran into any park rangers or ladies on the trip.

Jerry took the middle of the canoe and I handed Tally a paddle pointing at the front. "No free rides, this is a lot more weight, I'll need your help," I said.

We were back on the river before it occurred to me that I needed to ask them a question. "You both do swim well don't you?"

Tally laughed and Jerry nodded. I looked at the boy and wondered what it would take to bring him out of that shyness. Not that he was sullen; it just seemed a bit odd for a boy that age to be so quiet.

I still couldn't believe that Dorothy had allowed me to take off with her grandkids like this; she didn't know me at all. I wasn't some dirty old man lusting after the boys, but in Tally's world lust was always on the menu. Maybe there were still some trusting souls out there and she had to be one of them.

We paddled on through the afternoon and the boys became restless. The heat of the day was held at bay when we were under the trees, but there were long stretches out in the open. I thought we ought to take a break, or at least cool off. Naked swimming seemed like a good idea, Tally's granny came back to mind.

"Tally, why did your granny agree to let you go so easy?"

"I guess she didn't think strangling me was the best idea, I've been a real pain this summer I suppose. I ain't a little kid anymore, I do my share around the farm, and she knows that. Besides, you talked her into it."

"Yeah, I sorta noticed you didn't do any talking. You were almost as quiet as Jerry."

Tally stopped paddling and looked back at me. "Jerry is quiet because his daddy is in Iraq and he's worried. Nothin bad is gonna happen to my uncle, he's a sergeant in the Marines and tough as hell ... right, Jerry?"

Jerry nodded and spoke. "Tough as nails. I just wish he didn't have to go, I miss him real bad."

OK, that little voice brought a tear to my eye, I felt so sorry for the little man. It explained why he allowed Tally to take the lead in everything; Jerry was lost in his own sorrow. His young life was on hold waiting for daddy to return.

I reached up and rubbed my hand on Jerry's back and he turned back towards me with a smile. He must have seen the sadness in my eyes because he reached back and held my hand. It was such a wonderful moment I almost wanted to cry. But Tally stole the focus of my thoughts.

"Hey, is that our shelter over there?" Tally yelled out, pointing at the shore.

Sure enough, there was the American River logo tacked to a tree just as Clark had described it. The campsite looked fairly nice surrounded with trees, and I even saw a stack of firewood beside the shelter.

"Yeah, that's us. Do we stop here or go on to the next one?" I asked.

"Let's stop, I'm tired of all this paddling ... it's too hot," Tally complained.

I could only agree, it was hot and I could feel the sweat running down inside my shirt. Poor Jerry had just sat there baking in the sun without a word, a little shade would do us all some good.

"OK, this is it then," I said, and Tally steered us towards the river bank.

We tied up to a handy tree and unloaded the canoe. It had to be fifteen degrees cooler up under the trees as we stacked our stuff under the shelter. Tally was the first to peal off his clothes, two snaps and his overalls fell around his ankles, Jerry did the same. Neither of them wore underwear and I felt positively over dressed.

"You gonna swim with us?" Jerry asked with a smile, how could I say no? I started to undress and both boys watched every move I made.

Jerry might be less mature but I knew he and Tally were at least jerking off together. Tally on the other hand must have gained some experience elsewhere as well; I just wondered how far he'd gone. I was quickly down to my boxers and there I paused.

"Come on, no one will see you," Tally laughed. "Maybe you got something to hide."

I pealed down my boxers and stood up. My eyes met Jerry's first and his were big as dinner plates.

"Whoa," Jerry said.

"Awesome," Tally said and I looked over at his grin. "Jeez Evan, that's bigger than two of mine."

"Means you got room to grow Tally. Never be ashamed of how big you are just if you don't know how to use it," I said.

Jerry laughed and almost said something, but then he looked over at Tally. OK, something had been going on between them and I was determined to find out what it was. Tally took the first leap into the river so I grabbed Jerry and jumped with him in my arms. The boy clung to me as we splashed down. Just as I figured, he wasn't much of a swimmer.

But the water was only a few feet deep here and Jerry could stand up, I squatted down and that put his crotch right at my eye level.

"Nice parts you got there, Jerry. They look fairly new, do they work for you?" I asked.

Jerry blushed but he nodded, knowing damn well what I was asking. Tally of course had to butt in.

"Jerry just started makin cum two months ago, I've been doin it for a long time now," he said.

"Oh, I'm sure, Tally. I had you figured as a jerk off champ the minute I laid eyes on you," I said. "Probably four or five times a day is my guess."

Jerry laughed and I knew I'd pegged that one dead on. "What about you?" Tally asked, not willing to be the brunt of my attack for long.

"I used to go five or six when I was fourteen, now once is enough to unload a few gallons of premium grade," I said.

"Gallons?" Jerry gasped.

It was my turn to laugh. "No, not really, it just looks like that."

"Oh, you are going to show us aren't you?" Tally asked.

"I had you figured for a sex manic too; I don't know what I'm up for."

Jerry had dropped to his knees in the water, all the better to hide his erection. Tally had no such need; he was the show off so he stood up. The boy was sporting wood, damn near six inches of hard meat.

"Nice cock, Tally ... that ought to make the girls hungry," I said. "Don't like girls, never have," Tally said. "Suppose that might mean I'm queer, dunno, not important to me yet."

"A wise decision, what's the rush ... not like you have to get married tomorrow," I said.

"You aren't married are you? What do you like?" Tally asked.

"Me? I've done a few things, but not much really. I just haven't spent a lot of time worrying about it. I do have a friend who tells me I'm hot."

Jerry's mouth dropped open and he said one word. "Hot?"

"As in really good in bed," Tally said and then he smiled. "Maybe we'll find out later."

I laughed, now he was getting to the point. I really had to know what he was thinking before we spent the night together. "You offering me your butt, little man?" I asked.

Tally smiled. "Maybe."

It was time to end the game. I was only human and all these sexual thoughts had given me an erection. I was sure things would calm down if they saw it, so I stood up. Jerry gasped and keeled over in the water laughing, it was Tally's turn to freak.

"Oh My God ... no way," he said. "That would kill me."

"At least you would die happy," I laughed and then I tackled him.

We wrestled for a while, which consisted of them tackling me and pushing me under. I tossed them around a bit. Touching their bodies was quite a thrill, something I wasn't prepared to enjoy quite this much.

I was sure Tally saw all this as foreplay to some future sexual encounter. His hand brushed my parts a half dozen times trying to see if I would do the same to him. Just that open attitude of his made me wonder how I should respond.

Stan and I had done the boyish curiosity bit when we were twelve, it was only later that I discovered we had different agendas. I was beginning to wonder if I missed those days when being an adolescent meant no pressure and sexual exploration was only about fun.

But when Stan came out to me at age sixteen I had to admit I wasn't surprised, the clues had been there all along. Yea, he was my best friend and by then I had realized that my feelings went beyond that. I admitted that I loved him; he was the closest thing I had to a soul mate. He almost cried, I certainly wanted to, but the hug was our best choice.

Stan was openly gay; I stood up for him when others got aggressive about it, but I wasn't gay ... I couldn't be even if I wanted to. How could I do that to my parents ... my dad? But those early years with Stan all seemed to come back at me now when I looked at Tally. I knew the boy would do anything I asked, I couldn't allow myself the indulgence. He was just a kid.

Finally I dragged myself out of their clutches and plopped down on the bench which ran across the back of the shelter. The boys joined me, one on either side.

"That was fun," Jerry said and I couldn't help myself, I reached out and gave him a hug. Jerry responded by laying his head on my chest and I looked up to see Tally watching. He nodded and smiled, this time he wasn't jealous of my attentions towards Jerry.

I held onto Jerry with my right arm and reached out my left towards Tally, he scooted right over against me and I held him close as well. I turned my head and kissed Tally on the forehead and then looked down as his face turned up towards mine. That look said it all.

Tally slid a hand behind my head and pulled me in, pressing our lips together. I was stunned and yet, I felt his need and my own, I kissed him back. Jerry's hand slid down my stomach and his fingers played with my pubic growth. And as my cock began to rise he reached out to grasp it.

I was being double teamed here. Jerry was plain fascinated; Tally wanted a piece of me. I pulled away from Tally's mouth and removed Jerry's hand from my cock.

I was about to say we ought to stop this right now. I couldn't allow myself to get in trouble with two under-aged boys. And then Jerry yawned. It had to be the all the sun he'd endured sapping his energy, the kid was tired out so I changed my thoughts.

"How's about a nap? Let's set up the shelter and lay down for a while. We still have a few hours before dark. Then we can start a fire and I'll cook you guys some dinner."

Jerry could use the sleep, I'm sure Tally had other ideas but that was fine, it was time to stop all this playing around. We rolled out the sleeping bags with me in the middle of course. I gathered some kindling and laid out the fire and my cooking gear. If I did fall asleep I didn't want to be fumbling around in the dark looking for things.

Tally went out back for a pee and Jerry lay down. I rolled his way and rubbed his back.

"You make me feel so good," Jerry said.

"I've been sad before, I know what you're feeling and it's not fun. You ever feel like you need a hug then just let me know," I said.

"Thank you ... you're so nice," Jerry mumbled and I knew he was falling asleep. I rubbed his back for a while longer, even when Tally came back and lay down behind me.

I was sixteen when my uncle died. I still thought of that as one of the saddest days in my life, back then it was devastating. Uncle Harry had been the only adult I could talk to ... about anything. I knew better than to tell my parents so I told Harry how I felt about secret things, including Stan.

I remember his big arms surrounding me and the kisses he gave my cheeks.

"Don't ever forget, no matter how strange it feels sometimes, you are the best thing God ever made. It doesn't matter who you love, just be sure to love them well. I will always be here to help you when I can." Two months later Harry died of a brain tumor, I almost died with him.

I could feel Jerry's fear; a loss at this age would devastate him as well. Tally seemed to understand what I was feeling. It made me understand that he had been trying to do much the same thing for Jerry, he just lacked the experience I had.

Now I was sure Tally had been having more than little jerk off sessions with Jerry, I was positive that he had sought to give the boy other pleasures as well. Jerry was vulnerable to that sort of attention; he would do anything to become closer to Tally.

Jerry was out as I rolled over towards Tally and saw the tears in his eyes. He leaned over and kissed me again, then pulled back.

"You are so good to him..." Tally began, but then he sobbed and really started crying. I could only hold him as I had Jerry. The man was his uncle after all, Tally felt fear as well.

No matter that he had put on a brave front for Jerry, Tally was just as scared. Sergeants were high on the casualty lists in that war, the insurgents knew to target the leaders. I wasn't a political person but I hated what we'd done to ourselves with this war. Jerry was just another casualty among many.

Tally stopped his crying and I felt him begin to move in closer. Once past the anguish his body was responding to our shared heat. He reminded me so much of Charlie, the only boy that had ever succeeded in seducing me. I was alone and vulnerable at just the right time for Charlie to succeed.

I never ate at McDonalds so soda was about all I ever stopped in to get. And this kid kept looking at me and I noticed his eyes. The color stood out under those long sexy lashes, he had blueberry eyes. Maybe that wasn't the name others would use to describe them, but I did. I was headed for culinary school, I knew blueberry when I saw it.

He was with two friends, girls that seemed more interested in one another than this boy. I smiled at their antics and then the girls left, the eyes came towards me and sat down.

"Hello," he said. His voice was soft and melodious. I pegged him for a singer.

"Hi," I said, and then for no apparent reason I felt myself blush, it made him smile.

"I saw you looking ... was it me or my lesbian friends?"

"A little of both," I said. "You have beautiful eyes ... they make me think of blueberries."

"I'm Charlie ... I'd love to know what else you think."

Charlie was fifteen going on sixteen. We hung out at first, quietly sitting in the back of movie theatres or concerts. He had long fingers, the better to play his piano he explained. And yes, he did sing, he was in a band. It took three months before Charlie made a move, and by then I was willing to let him.

The boy lived in a mansion; I occupied a small room in my parent's house. But he lived in my heart for almost a full year before his parents moved to Oregon. He swore to come back, to run away and live with me, I never held him to that promise. I knew it couldn't happen, I wasn't gay.

I wasn't fooling myself, Charlie and I had done the big nasty and that was certainly gay, but I had done it to please him. That had all been eight months ago, but it seemed like yesterday's feelings. I had given in to Charlie because he was so kind and gentle, and with him I discovered feelings I had never expected to surface.

Tally was just a boy, a child without the means to control his own life. And yet here I was feeling vulnerable and weak again. He was so young, too young for what I really wanted to do, but that wasn't why I was here.

Tally wanted something from me; and for some reason I was here to meet that need. I had never grown out of loving; I just didn't want to fall in love with a boy. Losing Charlie had hurt more than I realized at the time, but I'd had time to think about that pain.

Finding love in my college group would be easy; I just didn't feel up to deciding which sex attracted me more. I was still a kid inside, an adolescent to the core. I probably shared more with boys like Tally than I did with the adults in my life. This was all something no adult would understand. But Tally did and his hands were roaming my body seeking a means to arouse me.

I grasped his hair and gently pulled his head back until our eyes met. "What is it you want from me, Tally?"

"I want you ... whatever you want," He replied.

"You want me to fuck you even if it hurts?"

His eyes blazed with passion. "Yeah."

"Why? You're a sweet kid ... I don't want to hurt you," I said.

"I have to know what it's like so I can decide ... no one else will do it for me."

"If you don't get fucked then you can't be sure if you're gay, am I right?"

Tally nodded. "I have to know, it's driving me crazy."

"So a little pain instead of crazy, I get that," I said. "But do you know what comes after the pain?"

"No ... what?"

"Pleasure. A feeling so deep you'll never look at girls the same ever again. Because by then you'll know that only a guy can satisfy what you want."

"Yeah ... I want it. Oh God, it's gonna hurt so bad, you're huge."

"Yeah, it probably will ... if I did it. Why me Tally?"

"You're the only guy who ever understood me, Evan. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. I'm a sex maniac just like you said, I just never knew why. I'll never meet another guy like you ... ever."

"And so I'm the guy you chose to take your virginity. Tally you're so young, this shouldn't happen now ... can't you wait a few more years?"

"Can't we do it now?" Tally asked.

"You'll scream and Jerry will wake up, it will scare him really bad," I said.

"He'll understand, I fuck him sometimes. He likes it."

"So why doesn't he do it back to you?"

"He's scared ... he's afraid his dad will find out and hate him."

Yes, Jerry would feel that way. The boy would allow nothing to come between him and his father ... nothing. I was Tally's big chance. I didn't know if he could relax enough to let me inside. Oh God, I was thinking about doing it.

This was an act of desperation on Tally's part. Either he was being foolish or smart, could he really see something in my eyes? But I felt something for him, we were total strangers and yet I felt something. Maybe if I had been in his shoes this would all seem clearer?

Alone with his thoughts and no one to talk to, I had been there. But I had Stan, and then Charlie. I had worked out my feelings and yet at this moment I understood that I knew nothing. Here I would be the aggressor and not the vulnerable boy who needed love. Oh God, Tally was me four years ago.

I rolled Tally on his stomach and began to rub his back

"Have you been sticking things up there for practice?" I asked.

"Yeah ... can you tell?"

"I'm not even looking at your asshole. What are you using, a shovel handle?"

"I cut the end off a rake. It's like those things I've seen in magazines," Tally said.

"That had to hurt; wood does not make a good dildo."

"Yeah, it hurt at first, but I got Jerry to slow down and use more grease."

"I hope you mean cooking grease, lard?" I asked.

"Yeah, I get it from the kitchen. It doesn't last long though."

"No, it wouldn't, it melts when it gets warm," I said.

God, it had been a long time since I had my hands on a warm body. But Charlie liked certain things and I remembered how to do them. It made Charlie relax; it ought to do the same for Tally. Once I started there would be no turning back ... and I gave in.

Parting Tally's ass cheeks I leaned down to run my tongue across his smooth skin. The boy jumped as I touched his sweet spot, but then he groaned as I kept doing it.

"Oh fuck ... that feels so good."

I allowed my tongue to lap up the crack of his ass, swiping across the wrinkled flesh of his anus. More groans that turned into one huge gasp as I pressed into him.

"Jeez ... do it Evan ... oh yes," Tally moaned.

Charlie had taught me this; I loved it myself long as the boy was clean down there. Spending two hours in the river seemed to have done the trick. I remembered the flavor of that hidden flesh and my cock became fully erect.

I tongue fucked the kid until his butt hole seemed to spread open; I reached for my pack and the bottle of lotion. Tally turned his head back to watch as I spread the slippery gel on my fingers. I got another long groan as I slid two of them inside of him.

It all came back to me now; I knew how to give Tally pleasure. I just hoped this wouldn't fuck with his head. My fingers worked that hole for several minutes, as I listened to Tally pant and moan as the pleasure sank in. I could feel him pushing his ass back on my fingers; the boy was ready as he would ever be.

I slid my body up over his back and kissed his neck, my cock was riding the crease between his butt cheeks.

"You ready for the pain, or will it be pleasure?" I whispered in his ear.

"I don't care ... just fuck me, I'm about ready to bust."

Tally was hot as a firecracker so I rolled him over on his back and raised his legs.

He looked up at me. "Never done it this way," he said.

"Easier on you and I get to see you smile," I said. Charlie and I always did it like this.

He smiled as I squirted lotion on my cock; but he lost that smile when I began to press into him. I had the head of my cock almost completely in him before Tally sucked air in through his teeth.

"Hurts," he hissed and I stopped moving.

"You wanna stop just say so, I'm not even in you yet."

"No ... hold on ... go slow," Tally said.

I pressed forward and felt his sphincter relax, then suddenly I was in him and he took a deep breath then let it out slowly. I gained another inch or so and saw his eyes blaze with passion. I leaned down and kissed him, this time with tongue.

That helped, Tally clutched my waist and then clawed his way down to my ass. Every move he made was accompanied by a little more penetration, and then I rubbed against his prostate. The tongue in my mouth withdrew and Tally groaned so loudly I knew he was switching from pain to pleasure.

I spent five minutes on the penetration; my eyes never left his face the whole time unless we were kissing. But then I felt his ball sac press into my stomach, I was all the way in. Tally was trembling, his body responding to the new feelings. He sighed when he realized I wasn't going any further.

"Oh ... fuck, it feels so big inside me," Tally said.

I wasn't moving until he got used to it. "You OK?"

"Yeah, the pain is gone ... you did that real fine," Tally said.

I kissed him again and began a slow slide of withdrawal, Tally moaned as I slid about halfway out and then pushed back in. He shuddered and clutched at me until I bottomed out once again.

"OK, you can go faster ... I think," Tally said.

I began a slow steady rhythm which seemed to please him. His cock had gone completely soft at my intrusion, now he was boned up again as I rubbed his prostate with every thrust. His vocal responses added to the pleasure I felt at watching his facial expressions.

Charlie was a screamer, it always freaked me out but it also made me erupt. I was on familiar ground here, only the object of my desire was this young boy. Tally looked like he was lost in the feeling, loving every second. God, he was such a beautiful boy.

But barely two minutes later he gasped and said, "Oh ... shit ... Oh shit ... ahhh." This was followed by a huge spurt of cum that plastered his chest and belly, I didn't miss a stroke. Then I heard another gasp, only this one wasn't from Tally.

I looked over at Jerry and saw those wide blue eyes.

"Whoa ... you're doin it ... but you didn't wait for me," Jerry said.

"Come on then, join us," I said.

He didn't know what to do, but I wanted him to become a part of Tally's initiation.

"Kneel over Tally's head and hold his ankles up, I bet his legs are getting tired." Probably no such thing, but this would get the boy involved. Jerry stood up and did as I said, grasping Tally's ankles as I continued my thrusting. With his knees on either side of Tally's head Jerry's cock was within easy reach.

Tally was ready to bring Jerry into our sex act, and he captured the boys' cock in his mouth. I knew he'd have a finger inside Jerry in short order. It's what I would have done.

"Oh ... hell yeah," Jerry almost screamed, and he clasped Tally's head, fucking his mouth with long easy strokes.

I couldn't see Tally's hands so I reached around to feel them, sure enough he was poking Jerry's butt hole. I slapped the lotion bottle in his hand and he got the idea. The difference was immediate, a finger up his butt sent Jerry into a fucking frenzy.

I was ready to cum, but I waited, putting off the feeling for long as I could. Jerry gasped and groaned and his cock swelled. His cum exploded into Tally's mouth, a goodly amount evidenced by the overflow that drooled down Tally's chin. Tally swallowed before I placed a hand on Jerry's head, pushing him back. Jerry dropped down on the bench and watched.

I was about there and Tally was getting overheated. He needed a rest, I needed to cum. I pulled my cock out of him and he yelped. I started stroking my self and on a ten count I came. It was forceful and plentiful; I sprayed Tally down real good.

I shot a good eight spurts; it had been a while since I was this worked up. Tally's chin, neck and chest were covered in my seed. I groaned throughout and then collapsed on my side to avoid falling into the pool of slime.

Jerry said it best. "Fucking awesome." I could only agree.

For once Tally was speechless. I sat up and looked down at Tally's face; there were tears in his eyes, happy tears I hoped. I reached out and pulled him to his feet.

"Bath time," I said.

Jerry whooped and ran towards the river, jumping right off the bank now that he knew it was safe. I walked slowly and Tally leaned into me, his emotions were running high. I stopped before we got to the river and turned to him, pulling him into my arms.

"So did you get an answer?" I asked.

I felt his head nod as his face pressed against my chest.

"I love you," Tally said.

I stroked his hair and he pulled his head back up. His smile was so incredibly wonderful I leaned down to kiss him yet again. Talbot James Winslow, I think I love you too, I thought.

On to Chapter Two

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