Tarheel Writer - Memories

In Memorium
Gone but NOT Forgotten

In Memorium - Gone but NOT forgotten. Loved still in our heart.

Every life is precious, special and full of potential. This page remembers the lives that ended ... too soon.

The Tarheel Writer - On the Web since 24 February 2003. Celebrating 21 Years on the Internet!

Tarheel Home Page

This page updated Date and Time Site Updated Thursday 26 December 2024 12:59 AM EST

A quick word from Jevic
As Hogwart's Headmaster Albus Dumbledore said, 'death is just the next great adventure.' It is those who remain behind that found purpose, who found a teaching moment, who found relevance in society, who found hope and turned death into legacy. Sometimes we, as humanity, get a wakeup call to what is going on. We see injustice and bigotry ... we see hate. We grieve with the heaviest of hearts. We get impossibly furious. Then we find something good out of all the bad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James and Jevic

A very good friend of mine was being bullied at school. He decided to end his life at the age of fifteen, f-i-f-t-e-e-n for Christ's sake! James had the whole world in front of him, yet the bullying was relentless and he chose to end his life. He was such a sweet kid. We spent time on the lake in kayaks and had a grand time. He loved swimming. He was in the JROTC at school. Outwardly, he was a bundle of joy.
At the Memorial Service, the entire JROTC Squad stood at attention behind the podium. A box of Kleenex was visibly passed from student to student as the tears were freely flowing. It broke my heart. His dad and mom were devistated. I worked with his dad. As soon as I heard, I went straight to his house. What do you say to someone whose kid just killed himself?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Justin Aaberg
9 March 1997 - 9 July 2009
15 years old ... forever
    Fifteen year old Justin told his family that he was gay when he was just thirteen years old. A confident, happy young man with vibrant personality, Justin was known for always having a smile on his face and a kind word for everyone. To most people, including his family, it appeared like he had the perfect life - an all American boy with the world at his feet. He was popular with lots of friends, known for his compassion and could always be counted on for support when his friends needed it. He was always there for them, for anyone who needed a shoulder to cry on. He was an extremely good cello player and composed a few of his own songs. He was happy-go-lucky, fun to be around and a pleasure to know.
    Like many victims of bullying, Justin didn't tell his family about the horrors he was experiencing at school - The teasing, the physical abuse, the daily tirade of hostility towards him that made his life a living hell. It's a question that a lot of people ask in these situations. Why didn't he tell his family how bad things were?
    More often than not, bullied teens tend not to tell their parents or school officials because they don't want to make matters worse with the bullies. Many often feel that it's sometimes better to put on a brave face, say everything is fine and suffer in silence - Which is exactly what Justin did.
    On July 9th, 2010, Justin hanged himself in his bedroom. His was found by his Mother and brothers who, after initially thinking that he was sleeping late, became concerned when he refused to answer their calls through his locked bedroom door. Justin had been dead for several hours before his body was found and his Mom knew there was no hope. Her boy had gone.
    Only after Justin's death did his family learn of how badly he was being bullied at school. Friends of Justin came forward to tell their stories, to share with the Aaberg's exactly what Justin went through - Such as an incident where bullies grabbed his testicles tightly and laughed in his face, claiming that he enjoyed it.
    To Mrs. Aaberg's horror, many of those same students confided in her that they too were suffering similar fates to Justin at school, how they were harassed by bullies and felt unsafe, just because they too were LGBT.
    On July 9, 2010, my son Justin still wasn’t awake at 2:00 p.m. when my then 7-year-old son Anthony and I returned from getting our new baby chinchilla. This wasn’t normal, and so, after knocking on his door and frantically calling his name and threatening to break the door down, my oldest son, Andrew — who was 18 at the time — heard me and yelled that he would go get a screwdriver. After getting the door open, I didn’t see Justin at first, but as I walked in, I saw my son dead by his own hand. I screamed his name and ran up to him, as I wanted to hug him, but quickly realized that Justin wasn’t there anymore. He had obviously been dead for several hours. I stopped and touched 2 fingers to his chest and felt how cold and rubbery he was — I ran screaming out of the bedroom to call 911. Anthony stayed right with me, and a couple of days later I would learn than Andrew had stayed by his brother’s side until the police came, as he didn’t want to leave Justin alone." - Tammy Aaberg, Justin's Mother
More on Justin here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brandon Bitner
2 January 1996 - 5 November 2010
14 years old ... forever
Brandon E Bitner Headstone

    Fourteen year old Brandon was a straight-A student with a core group of friends - A gifted violinist, and descried as one of the sweetest, kindest souls to ever walk our world.
    An unassuming, polite young man, Brandon's sensitive nature made him an easy target for bullies at Snyder County High school.     In the early hours of the morning on 5th November 2010, Brandon left his family home and walked several miles to a busy intersection and threw himself in front of an oncoming tractor trailer.
    There was little doubt that Brandon left home that morning with the intention of ending his life. His Mother Tammy found the suicide note that he had written in which he expressed his love for his closest family members and friends, but also explained what lead him to his decision to commit suicide - He could no longer endure the anti gay bullying he was experiencing at school. He went on to explain that the bullying was constant. He was called names including gay, girly, fag and geek and said that a recent humiliating event in school was the straw that broke the camel's back. Some of Brandon's friends would later reveal that the bullying sometimes took the form of physical violence and Brandon was often subjected to it in the hallways at school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bill Clayton
1978 - 8May 1995
17 years old ... forever
    Bill Clayton wanted to be a sculptor, a teacher, an architect, a counselor ... but his life was cut short by irrational hatred. He was barely 17. Bill had come out to his parents as a bisexual three years before, when he was 14. Molested by a sexual predator that same year, he went into intensive therapy and regained his old confidence. It took years, but by April 1995 he and his counselor agreed that he was no longer in need of counseling for the PTSD that had plagued him for the past three years.
    Bill was out at school, and a vocal, active proponent of the rights of sexual minorities. When an anti-LGBT storm broke over a Women’s History Month speaking invitation to Colonel Margarethe Cammermeyer (who defied Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell in the U.S. Military) at Olympia (Washington) High School, where Bill was a student, he openly supported her presence on campus. She was allowed to speak on March 21, 1995. Strong, homophobic feelings hung thick in the air after that.
    On April 6, 1995, ironically one day after his therapist released him, Bill and his friends Sam and Jenny were attacked by a gang of students in broad daylight. The two boys were beaten and kicked unconscious after being verbally assaulted for being queer. The police arrested several boys under 18 who had acted on the community’s homophobia by targeting Bill and his friends. The assault was treated as a hate crime from the beginning. In time, the boys who attacked Bill and Sam were sentenced to 20-30 days in juvenile detention, followed up by probation and community service and four hours of diversity training concentrated on sexual orientation.
Bill Clayton's Last ArtWork - Hold Back the Dawn

Bill Clayton's Last ArtWork - Hold Back the Dawn

One of Bill's last paintings, done while hospitalized for depression after the assault, "Hold Back The Dawn."
Olympia rose to the challenge, and began to face its homophobia at a rally in a city park on April 14. Bill spoke out, saying, “As an openly bisexual person in Olympia, I’m probably–or may be–the victim of this sort of thing again. Hate crimes–especially those against homosexuals and bisexuals and transgendered people are on the rise in this area. And that is why now–more than ever–we, the gay community need to come out and band together and fight for our civil rights and our right to be safe in our homes and on the streets.” It was a brave thing for him to do.
As a result of the attack, Bill fell into a deep depression, becoming suicidal. His family hospitalized him for his own protection and healing. Ten days later he came back home. He told his mother that all he could see ahead was a lifetime of dealing with one assault after another, and he was tired of coping with it all. She wrote about his fear and depression, “He was 17 years old–an age when kids are supposed to be excited about moving out into the world as adults. The only place he felt safe was at home.” She continued, “He saw no hope, so he chose to end his life.” As a living memorial to Bill, his mother, father, and brother have become advocates for LGBTQ youth, and strong voices for the prevention of teen gay suicide. They have not forgotten Bill, and we cannot let ourselves forget him, either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jaheem Herrera
5 July 1997 - 16 April 2009
11 years old ... forever
    On April 16th of 2009, an 11 year old boy by the name of Jaheem Herrera came home from school, glowing with happiness as he showed his mom, Masika Bermudez, his report card full of As and Bs. She gave him a high-five and he went upstairs, seemingly happy. When he did not respond to their calls to dinner, his mom and his sister went upstairs to his room to get him and opened the door. Jaheem was hanging by his belt in the closet.
    An 11 year old boy took his own life.
    He complained about being called gay, ugly and "the virgin" because he was from the Virgin Islands, his mother said. "He used to say Mom they keep telling me this ... this gay word, this gay, gay, gay. I'm tired of hearing it, they're telling me the same thing over and over," Masika told the reports as she was wiping away tears.
    But while she says her son complained about the bullying, she had no idea how bad it had gotten.
    "He told me, but he just got to the point where he didn't want me to get involved anymore because nothing was done," she said.
    Jaheem was a victim of bullying no matter how many times his mother went to the school and complained nothing was ever done. His best friend said Jaheem was tired of complaining, tired of the bullying, tired of the talking. He felt that his teachers, counselors were doing nothing and he just couldn't take it any more.
    The School investigated and ruled that when the other kids taunted him with the “Gay” word, it meant they wanted him to be happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zachary Trey Harrington
29 April 1991 - 5 October 2010
19 years old ... forever
    Zack was the subject of the film "Broken Heart Land", which explored the reasons he took his life at age 19.
    Following his death, it was reported by local media that Zack was present at a Norman City Council meeting when a parade of the city's residents expressed what the Harringtons term “hateful, ignorant” sentiments about members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.
    The meeting was held on Sept. 28, 2010, exactly a week before Zack shot himself. He had struggled with his own sexual identity growing up in Norman before acknowledging that he was gay.
    At the Sept. 28 meeting, the council acknowledged receipt of a proclamation recognizing October as Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender History Month in the city. Council voted 7 to 1 in favor of it, with only Councilman Dan Quinn casting a nay vote.
    Support for and opposition to the proclamation were fairly even and the public comment portion of the agenda item lasted for three hours — the entire time allotted.
    The entire process was an exercise in representative government, with both sides — and those in between — given their chance to speak their minds.
    One man said he moved to Norman because he thought it was the kind of place that would never accept the GLBT community with open arms. A woman, who described herself as “bi-racial,” said she was tired of the GLBT plight being compared to Civil Rights.
    Some of those who opposed the proclamation claimed that members of the GLBT community would use it to infiltrate the public school system, essentially allowing the “gay lifestyle” to become a part of the curriculum.
    Others claimed that council recognizing October as GLBT History Month was a waste of their time. Some members of the audience even suggested that any council members voting in favor of the proclamation may have trouble getting reelected.
    Numerous residents also claimed the Bible was their guiding light, citing the text as their primary reason for opposing the proclamation and the GLBT community in general.
    And for those in attendance, it was hard to ignore the intolerant grumblings, the exasperated sighs and cold, hard stares that followed comments from supporters of the GLBT proclamation.
    Even most council members admitted that a majority of the e-mails and phone calls they fielded regarding the proclamation were against it.
    Harrington’s family, who described him as a private young man who internalized his feelings and emotions, said it was this “toxic” environment at the Sept. 28 council meeting that may have pushed their gay son and brother over the edge. A number of other gay young people in other states, including two 13-year-old teenage boys, had killed themselves in the weeks before his death, so interest in Zack's story was widespread.
    Nikki Harrington, Zach’s older sister, said her brother likely took all of the negative things said about members of the GLBT community straight to heart.
    “When he was sitting there, I’m sure he was internalizing everything and analyzing everything … that’s the kind of person he was,” she said. “I’m sure he took it personally. Everything that was said.”
    Harrington’s father, Van, said he wasn’t sure why his son went to the meeting, especially after his experiences in Norman once he revealed that he was gay as a teenager. He said he feels his son may have glimpsed a hard reality at the September 28 council meeting, a place where the same sentiments that quietly tormented him in high school were being shouted out and applauded by adults the same age as his own parents.
    Zack graduated from Norman North High School in 2009 and completed a semester at the University of Central Oklahoma. While at Norman North he was a member of both the band and orchestra and was co-captain of the color guard.
    Zack was a creative, sensitive, kind and caring young man who loved animals and nature. He was a talented writer, artist, and musician. He love spending time with his friends and his older sister, Nikki and younger brother, Austin. He enjoyed reading, playing games, swimming, skiing and wakeboarding behind the family's SeaDoos.
    The entire article (10 October 2010 Updated 10 October 2014) from The Norman Transcript can be read by clicking here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jared Benjamin High
23 September 1985 - 29 September 1998
13 years old ... forever
    From the time Jared High was a toddler, he could climb just about anything in sight. Everyone who saw him was amazed at his tremendous strength, agility, and athletic ability.
    Jared would actually climb door frames using just his fingertips and toes. Brenda, Jared's mom, couldn't take her eyes off of little Jared for a minute, or he would be halfway up the side of a building!
    Jared was a smart, active, talented, handsome young man. He loved his family. He was active in his church. He was in the boy scouts. And he loved animals, of which he had many, including several cats and a wonderful dog named Bandit.
    On May/6/1998, an incident occurred that would change Jared forever. Jared was brutally assaulted by a bully at school -- a bully that was twice Jared's size. Without any provocation, the bully mercilessly threw Jared up against walls, pushed him to the ground, and kicked, stomped, and punched him relentlessly. The beating lasted almost 10 minutes. The bully told Jared several times that he was going to kill him.
    Jared received numerous injuries from the attack. One of his doctors said that the spinal injuries were consistent with someone who had been in a serious automobile accident, and that he was fortunate that his back was not broken.
    Jared also sustained serious neck, shoulder, and hip injuries.
    And the emotional trauma was worse than the physical trauma. Jared became depressed because of the incident, and on September/29/1998, Jared died by suicide. He was 13 years old.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeremiah Lassiter
1994 - 2008
14 years old ... forever
    At 14, Jeremiah towered over his classmates. His size and his struggle with a learning disability made Jeremiah a target for bullying.
    "Jeremiah was a kid that was 6'6", 320 pounds. He had a tough time growing up sometimes. ... He was kinda left out a lot of ways," his father, Jeff Lasater says. "Really enjoyed photography, football. And if he thought a friend was in trouble, he walked 20 miles to find that friend, you know. I'm very proud that he was my son."
    Jeremiah had been bullied since middle school. His father says he would tell the school what was going on, but nothing really came of it.
    "Me and my wife, we talked about pulling him out, and Jeremiah didn't want to do that," Lasater says. "So he went to high school, and within a month ... he decided that was it."
    Oct. 20, 2008, his father called his son and asked him if he had done his chores.
    "He said, 'Yeah, I did. ... I love you, Dad.' And that's the last time I heard from him," his father says.
    He later shot himself in a bathroom stall at school during lunch.
    "That day, his glasses were destroyed, he was de-pantsed, food thrown on him, called a bunch of names," his father says. "Just enough that he couldn't take anymore."
    He says the grief never goes away.
    "The guilt, you'll always have. I was Jeremiah's parent," his father, Jeff Lasater says. "I was supposed to be his protector, so I'm the one that's responsible for that action. You know, people say, 'Well, time heals everything.' Not when it comes to this."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eric

Eric "Twiggy" Mohat
1990-2007
17 years old ... forever
     Eric, whose friends knew him as "Twiggy" for his lean, 6-foot-1-inch, 112-pound physique -- had a dry wit and musical talent, according to his mother, Jan Mohat. He had played piano for 13 years, enjoyed video games, anime, Harry Potter books and "cracking puzzles."
     When Eric died he was 6’ 1” and 112 pounds, all arms and legs. “We talked a lot about him giving Twiggy hugs,” his mother Jan said. “He gave the best hugs, because those arms ... would just envelop people and whether you were an adult, another student, a friend of his, he would say, you look like you need a Twiggy hug, and he would just grip and grab you and hug you and then kids would say, it made the day.”
    His mother Jan explained, “he was targeted in 11th grade, it started on day one. We figured it was 150 days that he was tortured. I took a lot of heat when I said that these kids are little terrorists, they’re terrorists. They torture people, they terrorize people. Out in the world if they did this to people it would be prosecuted for war crimes. They would shove him into lockers, they would knock his books out of his hands, they would flick his ears. He would carry a box of 96 pencils and pens because if he had something and they would snatch it out of his hand, he was such a gentle soul as he would say, clearly they need it more than I do. I’ll just get another one.”
    “You’re so queer, you’re so gay, you faggot, you loser.” That’s what he heard everyday for 150 days his mother said. “I can only imagine how lonely, how isolated he felt and I have no doubt in my mind that if anyone of those kids in the math class had stood up and said “knock it off, what the hell’s the matter with you? Something! The message that he would have received was that somebody cared. Nobody should feel that isolated, that separated, that segregated from the group,” she said.
    March 29th Eric had his last math class at Mentor High School. His mother explained that she only learned about much of Eric’s bullying at his funeral. Prior to 11th grade he used to share everything, after, there was silence until just a week before he died when he shared with his mom some of the bullying that was going on, that Eric seemed to feel that his teacher, who had briefly intervened, would manage to mitigate. Eric was primarily targeted by two athletes in the school one of whom told him on March 29th, “Eric why don’t you go home and shoot yourself it’s not like anyone would care.” He left campus that day and headed off to his classes at Lakeland College, no one seemed to notice that he wasn’t doing well. He left Lakeland and went home where he headed straight for his room.
    His sister Erin, then 21 was working out on the treadmill with her headphones on. It was business as usual in the Mohat house. Jan and Bill, Eric’s mom and dad, were at work and Eric would be getting ready to go to his part time job at Marc’s. By now Erin, age 21, had gone to her room and after a few minutes the phone rang. It was Eric’s employer, “is Eric coming in he’s not here and he’s never late and he’s half hour past when his shift starts?” Erin puts the call on hold and goes to check her brother’s room. The door is unlocked and she walks in and sees him and all that blood. She hangs up from Eric’s employer and calls 911. The big sister on the phone with the dispatcher being asked to try to do CPR on her little brother who has put a gun to his head because he believed he wouldn’t be missed.
    When his mother pulled up at her house that day it was surrounded by police and paramedic vehicles blocking her driveway.
    “What the hell is going on?” She says to one of the officers.
    “You live here?” He replies.
    “Yes, What’s going on?”
    “You have a son?” He continues.
    “You’re scaring me, yes, what’s going on?”
    “Well he has hurt himself,” the officer said.
    “What do you mean he’s hurt himself, what does that mean?”
    “I’m sorry to tell you your son is dead.”
    About sixteen months after Eric’s death his sister Erin came to Jan and said, “Mom can I get a dog? We need a little life in this house it is like a morgue.” Ranger is his name and he’s a border collie who has now become the best friend of Bill, Eric's father. He was initially Erin’s dog but when Erin moved to Colorado to pursue her career as a school psychologist (yes that is her calling), she saw how attached her dad was to the dog and Ranger stayed in Ohio.
    We will miss Eric Mohat is his Facebook Memorial page.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matthew Shepard
1 December 1976 - 12 October 1998
21 years old ... forever
    Murder Victim. Matthew Shepard's death brought the issues of homophobia and gay bashing to the attention of the American public. Born in Casper, Wyoming, the oldest son of Dennis Shepard and Judy Peck Shepard. He attended Dean Morgan Junior High School and Natrona County High School, before spending his junior and senior year at the American High School in Switzerland, graduating in 1995. He was also a member of St. Mark's Episcopal Church. He later attended Catawba College, before moving on to the University of Wyoming, planning to major in political science. On October 7, 1998, twenty-one year old Matthew met Aaron James McKinney and Russell Arthur Henderson in a local Laramie bar. The two men offered to give him a ride back to the dorms, and Shepard was subsequently robbed, beaten, tied to a fence and left to die. It was later determined that McKinney and Henderson discovered his home address, intending to burgle his home. Shepard was discovered 18 hours later, alive but comatose from his injuries. He never regained consciousness, and was on full life support until he died on October 12, at the Poudre Valley hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. Police found evidence of Shepard in the truck belonging to the two murderers. During their trial, Henderson and McKinney claimed that they had panicked after Shepard had allegedly made sexual advances on them; they also claimed that they had only intended to rob him, and not to kill him. Henderson pleaded guilty on April 5, 1999, and agreed to testify against McKinney to avoid the death penalty. He was sentenced to two consecutive life sentences, without the possibility of parole (one for kidnapping and one for murder). McKinney was found guilty and while the jury was deliberating on the death penalty, Shepard's parents brokered a deal that gave McKinney two consecutive life sentences, without benefit of parole. Shepard's parents stated "we are giving him life in the memory of one who no longer lives." The Shepard case prompted President Bill Clinton to renew an attempt to extend federal hate crime legislation to include gay and lesbian individuals, as well as women and people with disabilities; the efforts were rejected by the US House of Representatives. The Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act was finally passed by Congress and signed into law by President Barack Obama in October 2009.
    Matthew's Find-a-Grave Memorial site is here.
    Matthew's Wikipedia entry is here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover
1998-2009
11 years old ... forever
    Carl loved to go to school and he loved to learn. Carl was a Boy Scout, he played on the 5A football team, the Martin Luther King, Jr. Community Center basketball team and the Holy Name soccer team. He was pretty athletic. Some of the kids would tease him about not being that good at basketball or football, but his mom told Carl as long as you enjoyed the sport, it doesn’t matter what they say. Just go out there and have fun. And that’s what he tried to do.
    It was very early on in the school year. Carl told his mom he was being called names and the kids were saying, “You’re gay; you act like a girl.” His mom talked to his teacher to get to the bottom of it. She told Carl he was going to have to give his teacher the names [f the kids but he was so afraid because he didn’t want to be labeled as a snitch, and if they were punished, they would come back at him.
    It was around October that his mom started to see a change in his behavior. They had weekly appointments with the guidance counselor and she set up a grid so each teacher could report on his behavior. She got a call from the school and they told me that he was being disruptive in class. When his mom asked Carl about it he said there was a sixth-grade gang that threatened to kill him and beat him up and that he was scared.
    His mom explains what happened the day he died -- "Usually I drive Carl to the bus stop, but that morning I had an early conference call at work. When I got home that evening, he was sitting on the couch with his backpack. He has a big, rolling backpack that apparently knocked into a TV stand in his classroom that day. Carl told me that the TV [accidently] hit a student and she went off saying, “I’m going to kill you.” And that’s how it started. Carl came home very upset thinking he was going to be suspended. I started making supper and then he just went upstairs. I called his name and he didn’t answer me. I went up to get him and that’s when I found him."
    Carl hanged himself after enduring anti-gay bullying at school, including daily taunts of being gay, despite his mother’s weekly pleas to the school to address the problem.
    In the letter left behind for his mother, Carl explained that he simply couldn’t take it anymore. He apologized, expressing his love for his family and bequeathing his Pokéman cards to his little brother—a sign of his youth but an even bigger indication of the senselessness of this act.
    His mom testifies about bullying and the story is here on the GLSEN website.
    "I did everything that a parent is supposed to: I chose a "good" school; I joined the PTO; I went to every parent-teacher conference; I called the school regularly and brought the bullying problem to the staff's attention. And the school did not act. The teachers did not know how to respond."
    And the most important thing I've learned is that bullying is not an inevitable part of growing up. It can be prevented. And there isn't a moment to lose."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scotty Joe Weaver
26 March 1986 - 22 July 2004
18 years old ... forever
    If anyone was dealt a rough hand in life, it was Scotty Joe Weaver. Regardless of the many challenges he faced however, he always pushed through, doing his best to create a happy and joyful existence in a world that seemed to be constantly pushing against him.
    When he was ten, Scotty was taken to the doctor after discovering a hard lump in his neck. He was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease, an aggressive cancer that attacks the body’s lymphatic system. After two strenuous years of chemotherapy, Scotty went into remission.
    When Scotty was 15, tragedy struck the Weaver family when Lum Sr died at just 42 years old. It’s not clear exactly how close Scotty was with his father, but it was no doubt a difficult time for the whole family.
    If cancer and losing a parent wasn’t enough to deal with before he even reached adulthood, Scotty, who was gay, also endured relentless homophobia every day at school.
    Scotty’s brother, Lum Jr, who was also gay, described his brother as receiving particularly bad treatment from his peers because he was more “out there” with his sexuality.
    As a result of the endless harassment, Scotty dropped out of high school and got a job at the Waffle House in Bay Minette. According to his coworkers, he was a hard-worker, often taking on double shifts to earn extra money. Yearning for some independence, he planned to move into his own place once he could afford it. He hoped to eventually return to education and earn his GED.
    Shortly after turning 18, Scotty moved out of his mother’s home and into his own trailer.
    When he wasn’t working at Waffle House, Scotty would drive the hour from Bay Minette to Pensacola, where he would frequent gay bars and perform in drag shows. He came second in the amateur competition known as the Drag-O-Rama at Emerald City in Pensacola (a gay club which has since closed). Dolly Parton, in particular, was his go-to act.
    Scotty and Nichole had been best friends since they were in first grade. Nichole was having a hard time, fighting with her ex-boyfriend over custody of their baby. Nichole and her boyfriend Chris jumped at the offer of a place to stay for free.
    It was July 22, and the last time Martha had heard from Scotty was the morning of July 18, when he had come over after completing the graveyard shift at Waffle House. She was beside herself with worry.
    According to Lum Jr, Scotty spoke to his mother every day, either in person or on the phone. During his after-work visit on the 18th, he paid her back money he had borrowed to make payments on the trailer. He also expressed his frustrations with Nichole and Chris leaching off him and pretty much taking over his new place.
    After saying goodbye to Martha, Scotty headed home, not to rest and unwind after a long, grueling shift, but to get ready to go back to work. But he did not show up for this shift, nor did he call in saying he was not going to make it. Much to the dismay of his coworkers, his uncharacteristic absence continued.
    On July 20th, Chris Gaines and Nichole Kelsay came by Martha’s home, telling her that they had not seen Scotty in a few days. As they stood there on her porch, they urged her to call the police. On July 22, four days after she last heard from him, Martha reported Scotty missing.
    Later that same day, in a field about eight miles from Scotty’s trailer, a man driving an off-road vehicle came upon what appeared to be a charred human corpse.
    The body was so badly burned, Lum Jr said, that it had to be identified by dental records. On identification, his worst fears were confirmed. His brother, Scotty, had not only been set on fire, but according to his autopsy, he had also been beaten, strangled and stabbed multiple times.
    Based on the evidence they gathered, investigators put together a timeline of events for what they believed happened the day Scotty was killed.
    He arrived back at the trailer after visiting his mother on the morning of July 18. As he was getting ready for work, he was ambushed by Chris, Nichole, and another individual, Robert Porter, who robbed him of the $80 he had left over from his wages after he paid his mother back.
    After being robbed, Scotty was tied to a chair, brutalized and eventually strangled to death. Investigators believe it was Chris and Robert who were responsible for the killing - Nichole did not participate in the act, although she was present as Scotty died. Chris and Robert then drove the body out to a field where they dumped it and set it on fire.
    In August 2004, all three were charged with the murder of Scotty Weaver.
Scotty Joe Weaver's Headstone

    After his brother’s death, Lum Jr sat down to speak with a reporter at the Waffle House in Bay Minette where Scotty worked. He painted a picture of the person Scotty was in life - outgoing, gregarious and unfailingly kind.
    “He would give the shirt off his back for anyone,” he said.
    However, it does not appear that a whole lot has change since Scotty's death. Even as Lum Jr sat being interviewed in the Bay Minette Waffle House that day, a group of teens sat in the corner, loudly shouting homophobic slurs and making sick jokes.
    His story at Wikipedia and an extensive article by Natalie at the Talk Murder With Me website.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

September 2010
A Month of Death
    The young people listed below are members of a tragic fraternity. They were all tormented, teased and/or bullied for being gay. They all killed themselves, most of them just after a particularly bad bout of teasing or social humiliation. All nine boys ended their lives during the month of September 2010.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Billy Lucas

William Michael “Billy” Lucas
18 July 1995 - 9 September 2010
18 years old ... forever
Billy (William) Lucas, a 15-year-old from Greensburg Community High School in Greensburg, Indiana, was was found dead in a barn at his grandmother’s home — he had hanged himself. While Billy never self-identified as gay, friends said he was tormented for years because other kids thought he was gay.
Billy took his own life just hours after fellow students told him he didn’t deserve to live. “He was threatened to get beat up every day,” friend and classmate Nick Hughes said. “Sometimes in classes, kids would act like they were going to punch him and stuff and push him.”

Billy Lucas' High School - Greensburg High School
    “Some people at school called him names,” Hughes said, saying most of those names questioned Lucas’ sexual orientation, and that Lucas, for the most part, did little to defend himself. “He would try to but people would just try to break him down with words and stuff and just pick on him,” Hughes said.
    A friend described him as, "a great person." He had told people that he was happy in high school and starting to settle-in. His high school's principal says that Billy was a "pretty outgoing young man." Friends say that he endured a great deal of bullying by peers in school, and that some of his torment had been going on for years. Often, they insinuated that he was gay with their various insults, constantly questioning his sexual orientation, and picked on him physically and verbally. Some friends have stated that earlier, the day of the tragedy, some of the bullies had told him to kill himself.
    "Everyone made fun of him." At least one former student says he made administrators aware of his own LGBT bullying, and they did nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cody Baker

Cody J. Barker
25 March 1993 - 13 September 2010
17 years old ... forever
Cody, 17, of Shiocton, Wisconson, took his life on September 13, 2010. He attended Shiocton High School, where he was active in choir. In August he attended a seminar and planned to start a gay/straight alliance at his school. He held a job at Fleet Farm in Appleton.
He attended Shiocton school from K- Senior High School and was very active in Choir, Quiz Bowl and LGBT; in August he attended a seminar and planned to start an Alliance at school. He was currently working at Fleet Farm, Appleton. He loved History, WWII, James Bond, Titanic movie and Lady Gaga. Cody was extremely selfless and enjoyed spending time with his friends and taking care of his rose plants. He also enjoyed biking and reading. He was a normal kid, like you or me. By all accounts he was a bright, hardworking and endlessly selfless young man with a bright future.
Cody Barker's Headstone

Cody Barker's Hewadstone
Maria Peeples, Cody’s peer mentor through GSA for Safe Schools, said he was a passionate activist for all students, especially those, “targeted or ostracized for their sexual orientation or their gender identity and expression ... He really cared about making schools a safe place for students. That wasn’t always his own experience with school.” He was sick of being harassed for his sexuality and constant bullying. Despite attending a LGBT support group that was meant to help cope with a culture that didn’t understand, he took his own life.
His Fand-a-Grave site is here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tyler Clementi
19 December 1991 - 22 September 2010
18 years old ... forever
    Tyler was born in Ridgewood, New Jersey. A graduate of Ridgewood High School, he was a violinist; he played with the Ridgewood Symphony Orchestra and participated in the Bergen Youth Orchestra as concertmaster. Tyler was a student at Rutgers University–New Brunswick who jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge     On September 19, 2010, without Clementi's knowledge, his roommate, Dharun Ravi, used a webcam on his dorm room computer and his hallmate Molly Wei's computer to view Clementi kissing another man. Clementi found out after Ravi posted about the webcam incident on Twitter.
    On the evening of September 22, Clementi left the dorm room, bought food from the campus food court, and, around 6:30 p.m., headed toward the George Washington Bridge. By 8:42 p.m., he had posted from his cell phone on Facebook: "Jumping off the gw bridge sorry."
    On September 28, 2010, Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei were each charged with two counts of invasion of privacy for the September 19 webcam transmission. Ravi was charged with two additional counts for the September 21 viewing attempt.[68] On April 20, 2011, a Middlesex County grand jury indicted Ravi on 15 counts of invasion of privacy, bias intimidation, tampering with evidence, witness tampering, and hindering apprehension or prosecution.
    On May 6, 2011, Wei entered a plea agreement allowing her to avoid prosecution in exchange for her testimony against Ravi, 300 hours of community service, counseling, and classes on dealing with people of alternative lifestyles.
    In February 2016, Ravi asked the courts to overturn his convictions following a 2015 New Jersey Supreme Court ruling that struck down as unconstitutionally vague a part of the law under which he was charged. In September 2016, the convictions were overturned by an appeals court in New Jersey, He was sentenced to time already served and fines paid, and the remaining charges against him were dropped.
    Tyler's Find-a-Grave memorial site is here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asher Brown
1 March 1997 - 23 September 2010
13 years old ... forever
    The day before 13-year-old Asher Brown shot himself was just like any other for the Cypress, Texas 8th grader. A kid tripped him as he walked down the stairs at Hamilton Middle School. He tumbled to the landing and tried to retrieve his book bag. But his books were kicked as well...
    Then the bully kicked him down another flight of stairs.
    The next morning, Asher confessed to his stepdad, David Truong, that he was gay. David was cool with that. But Asher wasn't. Or maybe he just wasn't cool with the way his gayness had made him an unrelenting target of bullies for the past 18 months.
    So later that day, Asher went to his stepdad's closet and grabbed a gun. Then he shot himself. David would find him dead on the closet floor when he arrived home from work.
    Asher's suicide was the culmination of 18 months of non-stop bullying at Hamilton, his parents say. He was small, didn't wear designer clothes, and perhaps a bit too effeminate for the other kids. They taunted him about his gayness and his religion, and would dry hump him during gym class.
    David and Amy Truong say they made numerous visits and calls to the school, but claim the school did nothing. Their calls often went unreturned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harrison Chase Brown
30 March 30 1995 - 28 September 2010
15 years old ... forever
Harrison was a 15-year-old from Colorado. He lived in Rand, Colorado, where he attended Poudre High School as a sophomore. And he was harassed and bullied terribly, until it eventually led him to suicide.
His interests and talents were many. First and foremost, Harrison had a smile as wide as his heart was big, willing to meet new people and talk to anyone, and was passionate about music and art. He rode at Epic BMX, and more recently loved skateboarding and long boarding. He was a proficient skier and loved Colorado mountains. He was active in the Boy Scouts and was currently serving as the Senior Patrol Leader for Troop 191 while working toward his Eagle. Harrison was a sophomore at Poudre High School in the International Baccalaureate Program. He was interested in climbing, and enjoyed the unified high school team from Inner Strength Gym that placed third at state in January 2010. He loved his dogs, Sandy and Elly. He volunteered with Fort Collins Museum Boxelder School House and Wild West summer programs and the Indian Market. He gladly signed the organ donation consent on his driving permit and his family is grateful to report his heart, liver, kidneys, pancreas, and a lung were transplanted after his death. Harrison, you will be forever fifteen, but your simple check of the doner box allows more people to live. Your life was a blessing and an inspiration to us all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seth Walsh
12 February 1997 - 28 September 2010
13 years old ... forever
    Seth, a 13-year-old seventh-grade student at Jacobsen Middle School in Tehachapi, California, died in the hospital on Tuesday, September 28, 2010, days after he hanged himself after enduring taunts from classmates about being gay.
    “After Seth came out in the sixth grade, he was made fun of,” his mother said. “He was ridiculed. He was pushed into lockers, pushed to the ground, tripped. Seth’s school did not care. I talked to the vice principal about my concerns. He said ‘Remind me next year.’ Seth’s death was an accumulation of events over years.”
    He was thw son of Wendy Walsh. Grandson of Jim & Judy Walsh. Described by his grandmother as being, "a very loving boy, very kind. He had a beautiful smile. He liked fashion, his friends, talking on the phone. He was artistic and very bright." Described by a friend as being, "the best person ever," in a YouTube video dedicated to him. Reportedly, he loved to sing and dance, swim, and most of all, laugh. His younger brother, Shawn Walsh, said Seth was the funniest person he knew and the best older brother he could have hoped for. S He and his best friend were going to travel to France when they were adults.
    Seth's death attracted the attention of the national media, which focused on the trauma experienced by youngsters who find themselves conflicted or harassed about their sexual orientation. "Seth's Law" would make schools provide bullying complaint forms on their websites, give schools a timeline to investigate and resolve complaints and have them post policies throughout campuses. It would go into law in July 2012.
    Rest easy Seth for you are forever thirteen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raymond Chase
28 June 1991 - 29 September 2010
19 years old ... forever
Raymond Chase, an openly gay sophomore studying culinary arts at Johnson & Wales University in Rhode Island, committed suicide on Wednesday by hanging himself in his dormitory.
Raymond liked Harry Potter and Rugrats and was a member of the popular facebook group “I can't spell “bananas” without singing hollaback girl.” His facebook bio is short and simple: “I like to laugh, I like to have fun, and I’m gay.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Felix Sacco
21 July 1993 - 29 September 2010
17 years old ... forever
    By all accounts an amazing individual who cared deeply for others, Felix Sacco had a passion for music and loved to unwind with lengthy jam sessions on his bass guitar.
    According to his mother, Felix had been seeing a psychiatrist (and in fact had an appointment earlier in the week) to cope with the bullying he was subjected. On the day of his death her son went to the guidance office at Saugus High School in Saugus, Massachusetts and reportedly was seen crying by students. She believes that he was turned away when he was looking for help. It was then that Felix walked to and jumped from an overpass Wednesday morning onto U.S. Route 1 during rush hour traffic. He died later that day at a hospital in Boston.
    By all accounts an amazing individual who cared deeply for others, Felix Sacco had a passion for music and loved to unwind with lengthy jam sessions on his bass guitar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Caleb R Nolt

Caleb Raymond Nolt
13 November 1995 - 30 September 2010
14 years old ... forever
Caleb enjoyed spending time with his girlfriend, Lexy and attending church with her. "He loved to work with his hands and build things, but did not always put his tools away." He liked to take long walks in the snow to New Haven, watching movies, listen to loud music and the occasional joy ride in his mom's van around the block. He and his twin brother enjoyed talking late into the evenings, while baking chocolate chip cookies and and just hanging out.
Caleb killed himself after suffering from anti-Gay bullying, even though he was not Gay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Faces of Teen Suicide

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chasing Rainbows
A wonderful tribute site

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Memorium - Gone but NOT forgotten. Loved still in our heart.

A Note from Jevic, The Tarheel Writer
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please be sure to explore The Trevor Project website.