I couldn't understand it. Part of me was sure everything I had just seen was real.

We were in an elevator, the power was out, because the dim red emergency light was on.

Then I heard metal, and then shaking, and then Will said something about my family being up there, and then he slapped me. A lump knotted up in my throat as I tried to understand it all.

"Tay," he whispered as we sat down on the roof.

"Yeah," I muttered quietly looking out toward the ocean.

"You're not alone. I'm scared too," he said quietly.

I turned to face him. How did he know I was scared, was it the look on my face?

Was it the way I was acting? Or was it because our hearts already knew each other? I began to cry.

"Babe," he said quietly as he pulled me close.

The word 'babe' it felt so familiar. I never before had felt so, right.

"I feel like I'm going insane," I cried.

"That's perfectly all right," he said. I glanced up at him in a bit of shock.

"Because, I think I am too, and if we both are then the trip won't be so bad. Plus we'll both have each other when we get there," he smiled.

My heart sang. That smile, God it felt so amazing, having him smile at me.

"Kiss me," I whispered.

He leaned in, our mouths met.

*          *          *          *          *

Once again I never before thought his mouth, his sweet tongue and everything about him could be any better. But every time I was proven wrong. His gorgeous eyes sparkled. His lashes wet with tears, his lids moist from crying. I closed mine, and opened them as our tongues danced to music only heard in our hearts. We separated, smiling.

The fresh sea air whipping at my hair. My heart soared as the wind surged around us.

"Taylor Hanson," I thought to myself as I looked at him.

My entire body tingled with happiness as I looked at him. He smiled and blushed slightly. The wind blowing his shorter tresses around his face. The dark dingy blond layers beneath moving around as the light blond tips danced across his forehead. His beautiful blue eyes sparkling, brighter and more beautiful than the ocean waves that crashed only a hundred feet or so beneath us on the beach.

*          *          *          *          *

As he pulled away I opened my eyes again. The wind whipped at his long brown hair. Throwing it around his face. The shimmering golden brown locks in contrast with his sparkling eyes and creamy skin. The blue sky behind him, the way the clouds moved lazily through the sky. My heart jumped into my throat as I realized, he was who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He smiled, even his smile, though probably not perfect to some people, because of one tooth slightly turned near the front, was amazing. I blushed as I glanced downward, embarrassed. I glanced back up again, he smiled again.

My courage welled up and I opened my mouth.

"Will, I," I started as he leaned in again. I stopped, thinking he was going to kiss me. Only his mouth returned to my neck. His kisses turned into licks, his licks into sucking as he moved down toward my chest. I gasped out loud.

"Let's get this shirt off you," he smiled.

"Just the shirt," I giggled wickedly.

"Hey, you know," he said as he bit at my belt with his teeth pulling it open.

"Oh my god," I whispered as he grinned up at me.

He leaned up and kissed me again as I felt his hand slide between my legs. I began to pant slightly, my heart racing, I wanted this, no needed this. I felt him unfasten the first button and then the second.

I had gone commando that day. Knowing it would be hot. I had no idea that this would happen.

As the third button came undone his fingers brushed through the hair that surfaced in the denim opening. The fourth button popped loose as I felt myself shift. He looked at me and grinned. Taking me in his hand he dropped down and looked up at me.

I gasped slightly as he squeezed. He looked at me. A look went through his eyes. The anticipation was unbearable.

"Suck me please," I gasped.

He smiled as his head lowered.

*          *          *          *          *

Zac and Daphne burst into the room. I sighed.

"Hey, Shiye. Let me call you back in a few minutes. Zac and Daphne just got back. I love you too. Bye."

I clicked the off button on the cell phone and grinned at Zac and Daphne.

"Okay, Zac, Daph…what have you done with Tay and Will?"

"Nothing," Zac lied.

Zac flopped down on the floor in front of the base of the bed and switched on the TV. Daphne sat down beside him. He motioned for her to get closer, and she did. At that moment Zac smiled at her the warm smile only a few select people ever got to see. Zac wasn't the one to just warm up to anyone. You had to be special in some way for him to decide that you were cool enough to see his 'softer' side. Daphne placed her hand on his knee and leaned in to whisper something in his ear. Zac seemed to have more interest in the position of Daph's hand, rather than what she was saying though.

*          *          *          *          *

Daphne placed her hand on my thigh, and as she talked to me she had a tendency to squeeze it ever so gently. I watched the way her hair seemed to fall all around her face and the slight twinkle she got in her eye when she discussed things she was passionate about. The way her lips formed her words. Her arms, her wrists, her hands, and her long fingers...oh God...

"Zac, are you okay," I heard Daphne ask.

"Huh," I replied snapping back into reality.

"Are you okay? You're breathing weird," she commented.

"Weird? What do you mean," I asked.

"I don't know. You're kind of breathing heavy," she replied.

I heard Ike stifle a laugh.

"I've never been better, Daph," I told her as the door burst open.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LEFT US," Tay exclaimed in mock anger and frustration - so obviously a cover up.

"I'm glad we did," Zac muttered seeing right through it, "Tay, your fly is unbuttoned."

Tay glanced down and blushed. He sort of shrugged as he buttoned it up. Ike jumped up.

"Right, well, I'm going to go for a walk. I need to call Shiye back, so see you guys later."

*          *          *          *          *

"Okay, Ike's gone. What are we going to do now," Tay asked confused.

"Well in the other room we have a PlayStation," Zac suggested.

"You guys have two rooms," Will questioned.

"Yeah, this one and the connecting room are for us. In case one of us needs some privacy or wants to play videogames or watch TV while the other two want to sleep or vice versa," Zac replied.

"I know what we can do," Tay said with a smirk.

"What?" Will asked.

Tay leaned over and whispered his suggestion to Zac and Will. Oh, I feel left out!

Zac shook his head.

"Dude there's a girl in the room. We can't watch that," Zac replied.

"Watch what," I interjected.

"Nothing," Tay sighed.

"No, come on," I objected.

Taylor went to speak, but Zac elbowed him in the side and shook his head. I looked to Will.

"Will? Please," I begged.

Will sighed and muttered, "They wanted to watch porn."

"Is that all," I said rolling my eyes.

Zac almost fell over in shock.

"That's okay with you?!?"

"Why wouldn't it be," I asked.

"YOU'RE A GIRL," he screamed.

"A girl who grew up with a bunch of guys who watched late-night Cinemax, Playboy, and stole tapes out of their parents bedrooms. I'm not going to freak out, trust me," I replied.

"Okay, you kick ass," Zac replied.

"Okay, so how do we get our hands on one anyway," Tay asked.

"We have my car. We can run out and get one," Will suggested.

"I'll come with you," Tay replied, "Zac, I'll have my cell on me."

"Not like you'll pick it up if I call you anyway," Zac teased.

"Cut it Zac, Will and I will be right back. Daphne and you just find something fun to do while we're gone," Tay said as he followed Will out the door.

*          *          *          *          *

"Daphne is a really cool chick," I said as Will pulled out onto the road.

"Yeah, she's one of my best friends," he replied.

I dropped the visor down.

"You know traffic is gonna be kind of crummy this time of the evening," he exclaimed as I look up ahead squinting. The sun low in the horizon as it began to set.

"Does she know," I asked.

"About?" he replied.

"You know," I slightly stuttered. Hell I was nervous, why was I nervous?

"About us," he grinned looking over.

"Yeah."

"Well, uh, yeah she knows, and if she didn't, well she knows now," he laughed.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing," I asked suddenly feeling dumb since I just said she was a cool chick only a few moments before that.

"Dude, totally, she rocks, do you think Zac knows," he asked as he looked over at me. The light turned green.

"Yeah, he knows, dude he caught us kissing at your place, shit, they both caught us in the back seat of this car," I said rubbing my forehead.

"Damn, yeah you're right," he said looking confused.

"Why is it so hard to remember these things?" I thought to myself.

"Our minds are totally fucked," he muttered.

After finally making it through a clog up in the road we realized someone had a minor fender bender. But everyone and their brother had stopped to look.

"Whoa," I muttered out loud as I saw a group of people standing around in thongs.

"Huh?"

"Dude, thongs must be real popular here," I asked.

"Oh yeah, South Beach is not far away, and they all kinda flood down here," he said glancing at a dude who skated past wearing a thong.

"Ever worn one," he grinned as he looked over at me.

I blushed a little bit, unsure if I should admit that once or twice I snuck one on and went on stage.

"Yeah," I blushed.

"Cool," he grinned.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, they are cool, I've worn one a few times, usually I go commando, or wear boxers."

"Cool," I smiled.

We rolled up to a shop.

"Mirage Video," I said out loud as we got out of the car.

"Yup, for the finest in adult video entertainment," he laughed.

"What kinds of videos do they have here?" I asked.

"Uh, dude, seriously, you have to ask that?" he stopped and turned around.

"No, I mean, geeze, just, like," I stuttered.

"They've got it all, straight, gay, bisexual, you name it they have it," he laughed.

"Oh," I replied feeling very naive.

"But I'm thinking we'd better just get something, I don't know, maybe," he said as he looked over the rack.

A video with two younger looking guys kissing on the cover caught my attention.

"Fresh Ass," I asked in shock, as I held the video up.

He started laughing.

"Twink videos," he laughed.

"What?"

"Those are what you call twink videos, the guys are all young like eighteen, and they are like smooth and buff, real straight looking or pretty boy types," he smiled.

"Oh," I said putting it back.

"Yeah, I don't think Zac would appreciate that one," he laughed.

"Yeah," I replied glancing back at the cover again.

"You wanna get it or something?" he asked quietly.

"Uh, neah," I said as we walked further on.

"Ok," he grinned.

"You want to get it?" I asked.

"Not really my bag, I mean sure, watching any two good looking people get naked and fool around is fun, but I don't know I mean," he stuttered.

"It's ok I know what you mean," I blushed.

"You do?" he asked slightly shocked.

"Yeah, like you kinda are curious to see it, but then you kinda don't," I said trying to find the right words.

"Yeah, besides, I mean I'd rather be with you, why watch porn when you can," he caught himself.

"Can what?" I smirked.

"Uh, this one looks good," he said changing the subject as he swiped a video off the shelf.

"Ok," I smiled allowing him to escape the situation, for now at least.

*          *          *          *          *

I let out a sigh of relief as we turned to walk to the register.

Part of me wanted to say, "Yeah why watch porn when you and me can make some."

But there was another part that was still trying to figure out how to take all of this.

Everything, seemed new to me. But somewhere deep inside, it all felt familiar. I shrugged the feeling off and put the video on the counter.

"That'll be forty two fifty five," the large woman behind the counter said.

I turned and looked at Taylor.

"I'm paying," he almost asked in shock.

"Uh, yeah it's your brother that wants the video not me," I laughed.

"I don't want it either," he said suddenly.

"Need I remind you it was your idea to get it," I whispered into his ear.

"Here," he sighed handing me a fifty dollar bill.

"Aww, don't worry I'm sure your next album will sell enough to pay it off," I laughed as I turned to pay the lady.

"Here's your change, uh, you better hurry your friend already walked out," she said as I whipped around to see the front door closing.

"Shit, hey thanks," I said as I turned.

"Tell me," she started.

"Yeah," I asked.

"That really Taylor Hanson," she asked.

"What," I asked in shock.

"My niece loves those guys, tell me that's not him," she said.

"No, that's not him, doesn't he have long hair," I laughed as I turned and left.

I got out side and saw Taylor standing next to the car. He had his back to me.

"Ok, I know I did something wrong," I said as I walked up. I thought I heard him sniffle.

"No, I'm fine, that place just got to me," he said, his back still to me.

"Um, ok," I replied as I turned the key and unlocked my door.

I got in, reached over and unlocked his door. He stood by the car.

"You getting in," I asked through his cracked window.

"Yeah," he said quietly.

"Well come on," I exclaimed.

He managed to get into the car, shut the door and put on his seat belt without even turning in my direction.

"Taylor," I said quietly putting my hand on his shoulder. He slightly pulled his shoulder away from my touch.

Instantly I felt ill to my stomach. I knew something was the matter. But somewhere deep inside me something told me to just not say anything. So I turned the car on, backed out and pulled onto the road.

The silence was becoming unbearable. He still had yet to turn and face me. We rolled up to the hotel and I put the car in park.

"Taylor," I started.

"I poured my heart and soul into that album," he muttered quietly.

The words stung my heart as I realized what I had said that hurt him.

"I dumped every emotion I had into it," he continued.

"I prayed every night that the fans would like it, that they would hear the messages, that they would understand the underlying meanings," he said quietly.

"Every week the album sank lower," he sighed.

"Taylor, I'm sorry, I," I started.

He turned to face me, tears streaming down his face.

"And then you make a comment like that," he cried.

Cried, he truly cried. Not yelling with tears, not talking with tears, but full out sobbing. I began to cry. My heart felt as if it were cracking in half as I watched him, the look of sadness and pain on his face as the hurt in his eyes burned straight through me.

"Taylor, please, no don't. I'm so sorry," I cried as I reached for him.

"I didn't mean for it to sound that way, I'm, I didn't," I stuttered.

"Taylor I love you, please know that, please," I cried.

I began to tremble. I couldn't control my muscles, my hands started shaking, my body began to quake in the seat. I leaned forward. I heaved slightly, the feeling in my stomach growing more intense. I felt like I was going to throw up. I threw the car door open and stumbled out onto the pavement. Stumbling forward I put my hand on the trunk of a palm tree and emptied my stomach.

I staggered backward and caught my heel on the cement parking breaker in the empty spot beside my car. I felt myself falling backward. My butt crashing against the pavement. The entire time I saw Taylor's face stricken with pain and grief.

"Will," I heard him almost scream as I fell back.

Suddenly he was kneeling beside me. The sparkling, nearly night sky framing his beautiful face.

"I'm sorry Taylor," I cried.

"It's ok," he sniffled as he wrapped his arms around me.

"No, I wasn't thinking, I was wrong to say that," I cried, as he pressed my face against his chest.

"It's ok, Will," he shushed me. I reached up behind him and placed my hand on his back.

He lifted my face up to him.

"Will, it's ok," he whispered quietly.

"I'm sorry, please forgive me," I cried quietly.

"I already have, I did the moment you started to cry," he sniffed.

"I didn't mean for it to hurt you. Please know that I'd never do anything to hurt you," I whispered.

"I know that, you've done so much for me already," he said as he began to look slightly confused.

"I don't know how, but you have," he finished.

"Then do something, for me now," I said quietly sitting up.

"Ok," Tay replied.

"Save me from Zac when we get in," I said.

"What?"

"Because we've been gone for almost two hours," I grinned.

"Oh shit, come on," he almost yelled pulling me to my feet.

"Wait, I gotta lock the car doors," I said as I pushed the button and slammed the door.


On to Chapter Ten

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Memories ... Of A Forgotten Past is Copyright © 2000 by Taylor W. Quest.
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