"Alex, hey man," I heard him say as he smiled.

I hadn't heard of an Alex before, then again I was having a hard time remembering much of anything. I decided to remain quiet as he stood facing the ocean. The stars above us in the night sky twinkling.

"You stoned," he grinned.

"Ah, well ok, I need you to do something for me, I need you to go look for something in my room," Tay said glancing over at me.

"No, at the old place, yeah, oh you are then, well that's even better," Tay grinned.

"He's there right now," Tay smiled at me.

I shrugged. I had no idea 'where' was. Or did I? For some reason I kept seeing a house, with stone sides, a large front yard, a low stone wall that curved around. I snapped back to reality.

"It's not," he asked, I watched as a frown graced his gorgeous face.

"Nothing, are you sure," Tay said as he stared off at the dark glassy surface of the ocean.

*          *          *          *          *

"I don't see it," he said to me, his speech still a bit slurred.

"Nothing, are you sure," I asked.

"Yeah man, I mean, hey wait, could it be on a disk," he asked me suddenly.

"Uh, yeah shit it could be," I almost yelled at the phone.

"Ok well there is a green clear diskette on the floor here, like almost behind your old dresser," he exclaimed.

"Get it!"

"Ok. Ok. Man, you're acting like this is life and death," he said as I heard him bend over.

"No, but it could mean understanding a life I don't remember," I muttered.

"Huh, ok whatever dude, uh ok I got it, it says the letters E and N," he said quietly.

"Are there any computers still there, I thought dad left one," I asked as my heart jumped into my throat.

I glanced over at Will, he didn't even know what all this meant, but I could see in his eyes that he was happy, because I was happy.

"Yeah, there's this real old thing."

"Get on and email me the files on that disk," I almost commanded.

"Dude, I'm wasted," he replied.

"I don't care, damn it Alex I need this right now, it's important, really important," I almost started to cry.

I looked over as Will wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close he nuzzled his nose against my ear.

"Ok. Ok. Dang, oh shit, man, this is a fourteen point four modem. Ok, ok," he said as I almost started throwing another fit.

"What is all this about," Will asked me quietly.

"This could help us," I muttered as I looked over at him.

"Ok," He smiled as he kissed me on the cheek. My heart jumped again. His kisses always seemed to do that to me.

*          *          *          *          *

Normally I would have told him to get lost. I don't like it when anyone kills my buzz, cousin or not but I could hear the urgency in his voice.

"Ok man, I'm on, but it looks like some of these, well shit dude is this a story, there are chapter listings on the disk," I said as I skimmed over the contents I saw on the screen.

"Don't read any of it, ok, just highlight them all, and send them, I need everything on there," he said with a very desperate tone in his voice.

"Ok man, it says it's gonna be about half an hour before you get all the files. I sent them to your AOL name," I said.

"OK, that's fine, I'm gonna let you go, just like set it to log off when it's done, and Alex, you have no idea how much I appreciate this, I owe you man," I could hear him smiling.

"Naw, man, you guys have already done enough for me, taking me in and all," I said a tear forming in my eye.

"Hey, just, like take care, ok," I heard him say.

"Ok you too," I hung up the phone.

What is with him lately?

*          *          *          *          *

"What was all that about?" Will asked me as he looked over.

"I think I might have found something that could help us understand where some of these memories we can't seem to remember are coming from."

"Oh," he said as his eyes got wide.

"Yeah, exactly, and it could shed light on what happened," I smiled as I leaned in and kissed him.

"When are we gonna see what you were talking to him about?" he asked.

"I'll log on in a few minutes and check to see if it's all come through yet, he said it might take a while. He was logged onto the old computer at our old place."

"Oh yeah, that one was totally slow," Will said looking off.

Suddenly he looked over at me.

"Don't ... I know, believe me I know you feel like you were on it before right?"

"Yeah," he whispered.

"It's ok, I feel the same way, I swear I think I can remember us talking about getting online, but for some reason I'm remembering a cable modem, but I don't know," I muttered looking down.

"Well whatever it is, I hope it helps clear up some of this shit," Will said as he hugged me tightly.

I never before felt safer than I did in his arms. He was my friend, he was my lover and he would always be there for me. I thought I would never honestly, truly feel this way about another person. And here I was, right there in his arms. I swallowed the knot down in the back of my throat. My mind drifted. I wondered how Zac was coming along on his date.

*          *          *          *          *

"I can't believe we just did that," Daphne giggled as we stood outside her hotel room door laughing.

"That has to be the coolest date I've ever gone on," I confessed.

"Same here," she told me.

I was all ready for the goodnight kiss, but before I could make my move, the door opened and Amber and Cristin hovered over us like two old bats, two, old LESBIAN bats. Geeze. Did those two ever go out with guys? It seemed like they preferred just hanging with each other? Then again, what did I care? Truthfully, I didn't except for when they blew my chances to kiss Daph.

"Later, Zac," Daph said rushing into the room before Cristin and Amber started to bitch about the time and how many things they had to do the next day.

Geeze, it's not like Daphne asked for them to wait up for her. I sighed staring at the closed door before I turned to return to my room.

*          *          *          *          *

"You got quiet," he said as he nudged me.

"Yeah," I muttered.

"Whatcha' thinking about," he smiled.

"Just wondering how Zac is coming along on his date."

"Ah, you know," he said as he turned my face to his.

"I love you," he grinned.

I smiled as he kissed me. His soft tongue licking at my mouth.

I gasped slightly as he slid his hand across my stomach towards the belt line of my pants.

"Is it ok," he asked with a shy face.

"Yeah," I muttered as I grinned.

He smiled.

*          *          *          *          *

I looked up at him. His lids were heavy, there was a sheen of sweat on his upper lip. My heart skipped a beat. I knew that look. I knew it. Somewhere deep inside I had seen that before. He wanted sex, he wanted the physical contact. I watched as his chest heaved up and down as my head bobbed on him. He groaned as I rolled my tongue around his sensitive areas. I watched him throw his head back and look up at the night sky. I continued as I felt his body tense. He groaned out loud as he filled my mouth. Looking down he panted, sweat pouring from his face, the most adorable expression crossed his eyes as he released the last bit.

"Oh my god," he gasped as he fell limp.

I sat up and swallowed grinning. He looked up at me.

"I love you so much," he sighed.

"I love you too," I whispered.

I reached down adjusting myself. The sexual tension in me was at a breaking point. I wanted to ravage him, but I held back, it was his choice, his call and his decision.

As long as he was happy I was. I sat back in the chair beside him. He still hung exposed from the front of his jeans.

I glanced over at him. He seemed to be thinking hard about something. His eyebrows would furrow together, then release. He glanced down and then off into the distance constantly. I could almost hear the gears inside his brain turning. Then he spoke.

"Does it hurt?" he asked.

I sat there for a moment, trying to fathom what he was talking about.

"Huh?" I asked.

"You know, does it hurt, like bad?" he asked looking over at me.

"Does what, Oh," I cut myself off.

"Yeah," he smiled slightly.

"Well, at first, yeah, it's ... " I tried to think of the right words to describe it. Part of me wanted to just be blunt. It hurt like hell, having something that big pushing into a place that was used to only having stuff going out. But another part of me wanted to be able to explain that it actually felt good if you gave it a chance.

"That bad huh," he asked looking off.

"No, I mean, well at first it does hurt, I mean it felt like there was a telephone poll up my butt when we first," I started.

His eyes got wide.

"Yeah Tay, you're pretty big," I smiled.

He blushed.

"I mean, you may not think so, but like just try picturing that in your butt," I smiled looking down at his endowment.

"Well, I," he stuttered.

"Ok I'll be honest, it does hurt, but it gets better. You just gotta stick it out, hang in there for a while, let it get past that first stage," I said quietly.

"And then," he asked looking up at me. The look in his eyes was so sweet. A mixture of curiosity, fear, worry and excitement.

"And then it really starts to feel good, the faster you go, the better. It's like, the more you feel the better it feels, I can't explain it you just, kinda gotta see first hand," I finished looking off. Honestly I wasn't even expecting him to reply.

"But the pain part," he trailed off.

"The pain, yeah it's there, but after a bit it turns into this throbbing, then that turns into this buzzing and tingling feeling and, well lets just say, that's when you go to the moon," I grinned.

"I want to know," he said quietly looking down at the concrete floor of the balcony.

"Know what," I said, realizing instantly how stupid I must have sounded.

"I want you to make love to me, like I did to you, a few nights ago," he said still looking down. Part of me almost thought he felt ashamed to ask.

"Taylor," I said leaning in, lifting his chin with my finger.

"Yes," he said as his gorgeous blue eyes looked up into mine.

"I only want to, if you want to," I replied.

"I want to, I really do," he said quietly. I could see the mixture of emotions inside him. They spiraled and swirled around in those amazing blue depths.

"If you change your mind, at any point, don't you dare hesitate to ask me to stop, because I will," I whispered leaning in.

"I know, I just, you know, it's like," he stuttered making me smile.

"I think I know," I smiled.

"No, please let me say it, I need to get it out," he said.

"Ok."

"I think it's only right, that we both share ourselves equally with each other, I don't think one of us should resign to one way, one thing or one position," he said quietly.

"I feel we should both have the freedom with each other to explore, experience and love each other to the fullest. I don't want us to lock each other into some mode of operation. Lets just let it go as it flows, move with the motions inside us," he said looking up.

"I couldn't agree more," I smiled.

He stood up. And reached for my hand

"Then lets go, I want you to take me now," he said as we walked back into the room.

"Ok," I smiled. My heart was racing. Everything seemed to be coming to a milestone. I couldn't figure it out, but something was falling into line. This was right. I could feel it.

*          *          *          *          *

I found myself standing outside our hotel room door. I glanced down at my watch.

It had been an hour. I had wandered the hotel halls and lobby for an hour. That wasn't the miraculous part. The miracle was that I hadn't been attacked, kidnapped or abducted by oversexed teenies. I laughed to myself as I put the key card into the slot. The green light blinked and I pushed the door open.

The second I pushed the door open I was assaulted with the overpowering surge of pot smoke. The room must have been filled with it.

"Hello contact high," I laughed as the door closed.

I heard snickering.

"Ok, who's hiding out in this fog," I laughed.

"No body but us chickens," I heard Tay giggle.

I started to laugh.

"Us," I asked.

"Yeah," Will snorted with laughter.

"You need to like, open the balcony," I started when Tay cut me off.

"Naw man, if we do someone might think this room is on fire when all the smoke pours out, and we don't need the pigs showing up," he cracked and laughed.

"Pigs?! Tay you are so wasted," I laughed feeling for the edge of the bed so I could sit.

"Why are the lights out," I asked as I pushed off my shoes.

"Because we're naked," Will laughed as he pronounced it 'neh- kid.'

"Alrighty then," I laughed.

"Sorry guys but I really have to like turn something on so I can see to get ready for bed I laughed again. I felt the familiar tingling in the tips of my fingers. Tay's weed was always strong.

They continued to snicker and laugh quietly on their side of the room. I resigned to turning on the TV set instead of the light. Casting a bluish glow across the room. I glanced over and they both were snuggled up on top of the covers whispering to each other.

"You two girls over there are gonna have a rough time getting up in the morning,"

I laughed as I pulled the covers up and slid off my boxers.

"Nah," Tay laughed.

"Nah, what," I asked.

"Nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, good bye," Tay burst with laughter.

"Um, ok," I chuckled as I turned over and thought about Daph with sleep sneaking up on me.

*          *          *          *          *

There was a loud knock at the door. I groaned rolling over. There was still a tinge of the smell of weed in the air.

"Zac, answer the door ... " Tay moaned from the other bed where Will and he were balled up together under the blankets.

"Yeah, sure. Not like I had anything better to do or anything," I snapped really annoyed to have been woken up.

What time is it anyway, I thought glancing over at the clock radio on the nightstand beside me. The clock was blinking 12:00 AM somehow someone had unplugged the damn thing. Well fuck that, I thought. I rolled out of the bed and stumbled over to the door. I grabbed a hold of the doorknob and swung it open. A very surprised Daphne stood there.

"Nice to see you this afternoon, all of you," she said with a smirk.

I looked down at my naked body.

"Oh, yeah, well, it's not like you haven't seen this before," I mumbled ushering her in so I could close the door before anyone else had to see me naked.

Tay squinted a bit to see who it was.

"Daphne," he said confused.

"Yeah, hey, Tay. Hey, Will," she replied with an amused smile, adding, "Wow, nice to see all you guys too. Hey, Zac, remind me to be in charge of your wakeup calls from now on. Okay?"

"Shut it, Daph," I replied sitting on the bed instantly regretting saying it when I saw the slightly hurt look flash over her face.

"Sorry. Didn't realize you were so touchy in the morning. Anyway I came by to give you something," she said handing me a cassette tape.

"What's this?" I asked grabbing it.

"Our demo. I figured you'd want to hear my band since I've already heard yours. I'd give you a CD, but Amber couldn't remember which box she put the rest of them in so I just figured, screw it!"

"No, this is okay, but give me a CD when you find them. Okay," I answered looking at the cover photo on the tape.

Cristin and Amber were cute, no doubt, but Daphne was beautiful. Why doesn't she dump Cristin and Amber and go solo? I looked up at her. She was rambling on and on about something. I'm sure it was really interesting and all, but when I glanced up at her I was just lost. Does she have any idea just how beautiful she is, and her body - women would kill for that body. My eyes slowly began to drift down from her eyes, her nose, her lips, her throat... I mean sure the three of them all sound great together from what I've heard, but Daphne has the ability to go solo, and by the way they treat her. My eyes continued to drift down focusing on her chest. She definitely has the body, I thought with an amused smirk remembering what her chest had looked like when it wasn't covered by clothing.

"Zac! Zac," I heard Daphne call out, quickly snapping me back into reality.

"What?" I replied my eyes still focused on her chest.

"You know no matter how long you stare at them they're not going to talk back to you."

"I don't think he was trying to get them to talk, Daph," Will spoke up, "I think he's hoping he'll be able to get them to undress themselves."

"Yeah, Daph, a talking rack would freak me out," I teased pulling her down into my lap.

"Whatever, Zac. Are you going to listen to the tape," Daph questioned me.

"Yeah, but not right now. Ike, Tay, and I are going to have to listen to this in private so we can discuss everything."

"Huh," she replied confused.

I then realized that I hadn't even really talked to her about opening for us, other than mentioning it briefly.

"Oh, um, well, uh, I was kind of hoping you guys could open for us," I informed her.

I looked to Tay for help, but somehow in the midst of talk of the demo, Will and Tay had begun to make out. Not a heavy make out session or anything, just a bunch of sweet kisses and a whole lot of rubbing.

"Geeze, how are those two going to manage to do that kind of shit on the tour bus? Mom will have a cow," I commented.

"Hey, at least it wouldn't be another kid," Daph teased.

I laughed, "Yeah, and livestock would probably be a little bit easier to handle then another little brother or sister. Anyway, are you even interested in opening for us?"

"Yeah, that would actually probably help us out a bit, er, screw that - a lot! I'll just have to talk to Amber and Cristin because we were planning on having a live show for management and agent types to come to, as well as some of our fans. However, if we can open for you guys than we can put that off a bit or see if any of them will come to see us open for you guys, provided we get the gig. Just um, promise me you won't let anything that has happened between us effect your judgment of the tape. Okay, Zac?"

"Daphy, you have my word."

"Thanks, Space Boy," she replied placing a quick kiss on my lips.

Isaac entered the room at that moment. He looked a bit shock at first to see Will and Tay in bed, and my arms around Daph. The shock quickly faded though.

"Uh, hey, mom just wanted me to make sure you guys were up."

"Oh, believe me, I'm up," Tay replied with a giggle.

Ike blushed a bit.

"Er, okay, um. Geeze, you four act like you never see each other."

"Well before this week we really hadn't," I reminded Ike.

"True," he answered, "and I probably was just as bad with Shiye ... "

"Worse," I blurted.

"Ike," I interrupted, "there's a reason why you guys have your own room back home, and it's not solely because you're married. It's because there are things we don't want to see - like how you made that baby."

"Yeah, true. I'll never forget how good she was making that baby," he added with a goofy grin.

"T-M-I," Daph exclaimed quickly adding, "my gosh the sex drives on the three of you boys... Lord save the world when Mackie hits puberty!"

We all laughed, well, with the exception of Tay and Will, but they had still each other's tongues down each other's throats, so they were excused. Ike took a quick sniff of the air.

"Weed," he mumbled, "Zac, be sure you air out this room before mom and dad check in. You know how paranoid mom's been about you being around the stuff."

"Geeze, I'm not a baby anymore," I mumbled feeling a bit uncomfortable.

I mean I could almost kill him I didn't want Daph knowing that I got high. Heck that any of us did it. Daphne didn't seem too freaked out by it though.

"I didn't get high last night. I swear," I told both Ike and Daph, especially Daphne.

"Zac, it doesn't bother me. Weed's not nearly half as bad as some of the other stuff on the market. Plus my uncle like grows it…"

"Your uncle grows weed," I said in shock.

"Yeah, he was in the High Times Magazine for growing like, the best marijuana in all of New York or something. It's a long story, but pretty much he had to leave the country because he almost got arrested for it. But then he got some doctor to write him a bogus prescription so when he returned to America the police couldn't touch him, and now he grows it in upstate New York on half of a frickin' mountain."

Okay, not only is Daphne hot, smart, and funny, but she has an uncle that could hook me up with the best weed in New York. God is good... very good.


On to Chapter Twenty-One

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Memories ... Of A Forgotten Past is Copyright © 2000 by Taylor W. Quest.
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