Friday morning finally came. How he had been able to fall asleep last night ... well it was nothing short of a miracle. The kiss, the boy's groans and the smell of his young essence haunted Ben for most of the night.

"You don't think I'm gay ... do you?" Gene had asked ... and what if he was? He'd had experiences with his brother, his kissing talents showed that much. Did genetics have anything to do with this or was Gene feeling influenced, by Dean of course, it couldn't be his doing.

Ben washed his face and looked at the top half of his torso in the mirror. Gene had been thinking about him and masturbating. It was flattering, any gay man would feel that way, and it felt wrong too ... but that was silly. At seventeen Ben had drooled over the college boys who lay shirtless on the grass over at the university. It was ok to look, but would he have hesitated if they had responded to his stares?

It had been his reaction to the kiss that was astounding. He had gone with it, reveled in it, returned it ... and with such results. He had allowed the boy to play out the fantasy and look what had happened. That orgasm would be on Gene's mind all day and he would be looking forward to the next kiss. Ben felt like he was in over his head.

He fully dressed before presenting himself in Gene's room. Again the sheets were back, the cock exposed. Maybe he should turn the heat down lower at night, which would keep the boy covered up. Good thing that hose was covered last night, the shots would have hit the wall. He pulled the sheet up to cover that magnificent appendage.

He kissed Gene awake and smiled as the boy's eyes opened.

"Morning, love," he said "How's about some breakfast?"

"Oh Lord, gotta pee," Gene exclaimed as he leapt out of bed.

His cock led him into the bathroom and Ben chuckled.

"How do you pee when it's so darn stiff?" He asked.

"Gotta sit down ... only way to hit the target," Gene yelled back.

Ben sat on the bed and his hand wandered across the pillow, still warm from the boy's head. He could almost feel the disapproval Tom would glare at him if the man knew what had transpired last night. Legally he had not touched the boy enough to get in real trouble ... but then who was he kidding, it had been sexual at Gene's instance

Ben didn't hear the boy come back in the room, but when he looked up Gene was there by the door. His hair was messed up, his cock hung limply ... almost, but his nakedness only added to the appeal. And the boy stood there calm as could be while Ben gazed at him in wonder.

"Gene ... I suppose you ought to get dressed ... "he began.

"I like being naked with you ... and you like it too," the boy said, reading his mind.

Ben smiled. "Yes ... suppose I do. Do you think what happened last night was ... was an accident?"

"Um ... I don't know, it never happened before," Gene said.

"But you want it to happen again ... don't you?"

"Uh ... I guess ... yes."

"Do you think of it as having sex with me?" Ben asked. "What I'm getting at, I suppose, is do you consider what happened last night to be sex between us? In your mind ... did we have sex?"

Gene looked confused and shook his head. "No."

He walked over to the bed and sat down beside Ben,

"Did we have sex?" Gene asked.

"Not really, it was more like you masturbated while I was there," Ben said.

"Masturbation isn't like real sex," Gene said. "It's only real if you fuck someone."

Ben thought about that a moment. "Did your brother tell you that?"

"Yeah ... him and Brad."

"So if Brad had managed to get in your pants and masturbate you ... no, you thought he wanted to perform oral on you ... do you think a blow job is real sex?"

"No ... only fucking, I said that. Blow jobs don't count as sex."

Oh Lord, Ben thought, where did the boy come up with that?

"And this is what Brad and Dean think too?" Ben asked.

"Yeah, cause Dean and I ... "

Gene stopped in mid sentence. Ben knew the boy faced telling a gay guy that he had sucked a cock, even if it was his brother's.

"I'm sorry. Don't tell me any more, Gene. I never want you to be uncomfortable around me ever again, OK?"

"But you think its sex, don't you?"

"It doesn't matter what I think. I'm sure you only did what you wanted to do and it felt good when it happened, that's all that matters," Ben said.

Gene blushed. "I fucked Dean too."

Ben didn't want to act surprised but maybe he did a little. It was only kid's stuff they were doing after all.

"I'm sure you guys were only experimenting, all kids do that to some degree," he said.

"He wanted to fuck me too but I wouldn't let him ... it scared me too much. Doesn't it hurt when you get fucked?" Gene asked.

Ben wasn't sure he wanted to have this discussion with the boy, not now anyway. It was a positive thing that he was curious about stuff like this. But something deep inside said the boy had other motives for asking.

"Gene, its seven o'clock in the morning and you want to talk about sex ... can it wait or do you have to know right now?"

"I just thought ... " And then he sighed.

"Gene ... sweetie, don't get all worked up. Now that you know I'm gay you'll have all kinds of questions and that's a good thing. I will try and answer each and every one of them to the best of my ability ... just not now, OK?"

"OK ... but you'll tell me the truth, right?"

"Oh sweetie, I love you and that means I have to tell you the truth about everything. Lies can destroy love and I don't want that to happen to us."

"Me too," Gene said.

Ben kissed the boy and shoved him towards the shower. He listened to the water bouncing off the shower curtain, Gene hadn't closed the door. OK, some of this explained the exhibitionist tendencies the boy had. Ben knew the kid was in some way trying to be seductive; he wanted sex or was it not sex in his mind? Either way, it seems that if Ben was willing a whole lot more that kissing might happen between them.

If the boy had questions, Ben had his own list which was growing by leaps and bounds. Would Gene suck a cock? Did he want to fuck? Oh, none of this was rational but Ben knew that Gene would only keep after him until he got what he wanted.

Giving the boy information seemed like a good thing, he needed to know the right way to think about things. Then why the hell had Dean convinced his brother that oral sex wasn't sex at all? Dean felt secure being gay, but Gene didn't, that was the answer. If it wasn't considered sex then Gene would do it if it felt good and Dean would be the beneficiary. That was slightly warped and more than a little unfair.

Ben dropped the boy at school and almost sighed with relief as he watched the kid walk towards the building. He needed time to think, time to come up with some answers. It was beginning to feel like the undercurrent in their relationship had become a battle of wills, and he couldn't let Gene win.

The world around him was full of pre-Halloween angst where neither Thanksgiving nor Christmas dominated and yet both were already begging for attention. Ben sat at the stoplight on Third watching as a city crew mounted Christmas decorations on a lamppost. It seemed just like another sign of the yearly economic dash for the almighty dollar.

Ben got a wave from Flo as he entered the lobby; she covered the mouthpiece on her phone for a moment.

"You have some papers on your desk from Tom, a courier just brought them," she said before going back to her phone conversation.

Ben looked over the custody release and medical POA that his attorney had sent over. The guy sure worked fast, and then he looked at the third document in the pile. It was a police report on Gene's parents.

Dated five years back, the report confirmed what Ben already knew; the parents were unfit to raise children. It seems that Dean, age eleven, had informed his fifth grade classmates all about the meaning of sexual intercourse. The teacher was astounded after overhearing a part of the conversation and had reported such to the principal. But then, when several of the kid's parents called in to complain about Dean's 'education' of their children, the principal had to take corrective measures.

Dean was examined by a psychiatrist working for the police, and the facts which came to light spoke for themselves. Both boys had been made to watch while the parents had sexual intercourse in front of them. Ben's hand shook as he read the description Dean gave the doctor during her investigation. It was sick, disgusting and more than a little perverted when the boys were forced to participate in the act.

The police filed child sex abuse charges against the parents but both boys refused to cooperate. A judge threw the case out, there was nothing the DA could do. But he did have the parents watched for a while. That led to the drug conviction and robbery charges which finally snared Gene's father and sent him to prison.

Ben was beyond wondering why adults like that even bothered to have children; he had seen and heard so much over the years it was numbing. But if he ever needed confirmation about why the bitch should never talk to her son again, here it was.

Dean had probably fared better after the incident, his gay identity giving him a reasonable means of disassociating himself from the activity. But Gene, how did he cope? It was a positive that the boy still identified himself as a virgin. That meant the forced intercourse he had with his mother didn't signify in his self identity. But it seems neither boy had any love left for the woman who bore them, and she probably wondered why ... how sick can you get?

It only added to his angst throughout the day and Ben shifted listlessly through his paperwork, resigning himself to finishing out the morning before calling it quits at lunchtime. Flo didn't question his leaving early; after all, he was the boss.

Ben sat in his car outside the grocery store and sorted through his feelings. He loved the boy and yet now he knew why Gene knew so little about his sexual feelings, they had been repressed. The parents had beaten the boys, engaged in sexual activity with their sons and damn near starved them to death. Right now Ben would have gladly paid any price to have both creatures rubbed off the face of the planet.

From his experience, he knew that child abuse affected children their whole lives, long after the initial activity had ceased. Molested boys often became abusers themselves, a sick testament to the ongoing struggle they felt about their own sexual identity. Dean was immersed in a loving gay relationship, a rejection of the twisted heterosexual activity he had been forced to accept as a child. That was his way out, his escape from the guilt.

But even now Dean could become aggressive, acting out at some point in the future. Ben wondered what Brad really knew about his little underage lover. Searching his thoughts for a feeling about that relationship, Ben could almost find no fault in what the man had done. Sure it was illegal, but then society had done nothing to protect the boy either. Wasn't he entitled to the love he now shared with Brad? The man had rescued the boy, he must know something of Dean's past.

But then there was Gene. He had been abused, lied to about the very nature of sexual activity and left to founder. Exhibiting his body gave the boy sexual feelings he didn't understand, that was a sign of acting out. It was becoming more obvious that he wanted Ben to tell him ... to show him what sex was all about. But how could he without feeling like he was betraying the boy?

Even if it were legal, was it right? When he turned eighteen Gene would still question his feelings about what he was. It would be simpler if the boy turned out to be gay like Dean, he could distance himself from that awful experience. But now, after knowing what had happened, how could Ben even know if gay sex wasn't just another stage of acting out from the abuse?

He pushed the grocery cart around the aisles for a while and stopped, his mind still spinning out scenarios. Why was he here? Oh yes, Dean was coming to dinner. At least it would give him a chance to observe the boys interacting. That really wasn't fair when he was in love with one of them, but there you are. He told himself that it would all be in Gene's best interest.

Ben shelved the thoughts and shopped, filling his mental order sheet with soups and salads instead of the reality he was facing. What if Brad came, would he be able to talk reasonably with the man? How could he discuss an illicit relationship with someone who was in a position to know better?

He almost ran the cart into an employee stocking the shelves. He apologized and hurried around the corner to hide his embarrassment. Who was he to pass judgment on Brad? Love mattered ... and if Brad and Dean were in love ... wasn't he almost in the same position with Gene? It seemed like he was jockeying himself into accepting a relationship with Gene ... one that could turn sexual at any moment, if it hadn't already.

Where were the parental feelings he had harbored only the day before? Oh yes, Gene had rejected that approach, his parents were assholes. Could he see himself as Gene's lover? His heart was pounding in his chest, the anxiety came over him and Ben hurried towards the Men's room, abandoning his shopping cart in the middle of an aisle.

He leaned over the sink and splashed cold water on his face from the tap. He wasn't sick, no ... he felt fine. He was scared ... of himself. Was he capable of loving Gene without giving in to the sexuality the boy was pressing on him?

Ben looked up into the mirror and recalled the promises he had made to himself. He noticed the jagged line running through the reflection, this mirror was cracked ... and so was he. For if anything was certain, he now knew all those words meant absolutely nothing if Gene truly wanted him as a lover.


On to Chapter Nine

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"Gene" Copyright © 27 September 2008 Chris James. All rights reserved.
    This work may not be duplicated in any form (physical, electronic, audio, or otherwise) without the author's written permission. All applicable copyright laws apply. All individuals depicted are fictional with any resemblance to real persons being purely coincidental.

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