The school bells rang, sounding the release for nine hundred plus kids at Southeast, but Ben was looking for only one. The number one eighty-three bus stopped around the corner from the house but Ben didn't want Gene on the school bus, well not just yet.

Picking the boy up gave Gene a sense of security; an attachment he felt would ease the changes in the kid's life. There was always that thrill when he first saw the boy after being apart for the day. The suffused warmth that spread through his body as Gene appeared, walking across the lot with that ever present smile inflamed Ben's love for this singular creature.

Three days, that was the sum total of their time together and yet so much had transpired between them. Gene was on his mind every second they were apart. Oh God, he was in love with a seventeen year old boy and nothing else mattered.

Ben watched the kids play out their Friday afternoon emotions, running and laughing as they headed off to a well deserved weekend. And then he saw Gene, again he was accompanied by his brother and ... the wrestling coach, Brad. Oh well, it was bound to happen sooner or later.

Ben got out of the car this time, feeling it necessary to meet the man head to head. Gene performed the intros.

"Ben this is ... Mr. Wilson ... the wrestling coach," Gene said.

"It's Brad, nice to meet you, Ben." The man stuck out his hand and they shook, a strong hardy grip, although Ben could sense a bit of nervousness on Brad's part.

"Yes," Ben said, "I suppose it was inevitable."

Brad frowned a bit at the words he had chosen so Ben quickly explained his thoughts.

"I mean with us taking the boys on like this, well ... I'm glad to finally meet you."

Now Brad smiled, and Ben watched as Dean quietly leaned a bit against the man in support.

"So ... I told Brad about this dinner offer ... " Dean said.

"I'd like you both to come," Ben quickly added, "I think it's in the best interests of both boys that we all sit down together for a meal."

"Mr. Wilson ... uh, Brad is a vegetarian," Gene blurted out. He seemed to think that was funny.

"Oh ... I adapt as needed," Brad said.

"Nonsense, vegetarianism is quite healthy, something I think both boys ought to indulge in a bit more," Ben said. "Especially Gene here, he needs a much better diet than what I've seen him eat these past few days. A week of raw carrots ought to do him a world of good."

Gene's eyes narrowed. "You must be joking."

Brad picked right up on Ben's innuendo. "Probably some tofu and broccoli too, lots of protein and vitamins there, great anti-oxidants."

"Yeah, no more hamburgers and pizza," Dean said, adding his two cents.

"What the hell? Are you guy's crazy?" Gene almost yelled.

Dean punched his brother's arm and laughed, Gene finally got the joke.

"Just messing with you," Ben said.

Gene stuck out his tongue like a little kid. "Not funny ... "

"Way funny," Ben said. "So when do you guys have some free time?"

"Would tonight be all right?" Brad asked. "We have a wrestling meet tomorrow and Dean will need Sunday to rest up and do his homework."

"Sounds fine, I have all kinds of goodies in the kitchen, I can whip something up," Ben replied.

He gave Brad one of his business cards and wrote his home address and phone number on the back. They agreed on six thirty, Dean needed an early evening if he was to be in top form for the meet the following morning. The men shook hands and Ben gave Dean a pat on the back. He watched as Brad laid a hand on the boy's shoulder while they walked away. It promised to be an interesting evening, Ben thought.

Gene was already in the car, he seemed pleased.

"That went smooth," he said.

"Oh, was there supposed to be a problem?" Ben asked.

"No ... I just thought, well you know. You thought Brad was doing something bad with Dean."

Ok, maybe now's a good time, Ben thought. "As I recall you were the one who thought it was bad ... I'm the gay guy, remember?"

"You mean it's ok for them to ... well, you know."

"In a gay relationship where the feelings are equal I suppose it is inevitable. I would like a chance to get to know Brad a little better, get a better feeling for what he thinks about your brother," Ben said.

"Would that make you guys friends?" Gene asked.

"Oh I don't know ... friends usually have a lot more in common."

"Well he loves Dean and you love me ... "

"I do love you, that's for sure," Ben said. And he knew exactly where Gene would take the conversation next. Was the boy that clever? Yup.

"Does that mean if he has sex with Dean that you want to have sex with me?"

OK, he'd known it was coming but his heart still skipped a beat. It was time to bare his soul.

"When and if you're ready ... yes," Ben said.

Gene was silent after that and Ben concentrated on the road. Yeah, the boy had something hard to think about now. It was lying at his feet; all he had to do was decide what to do with it.

Of course Ben knew he would have to set the conditions of any encounter, Gene wouldn't know where to begin. But that didn't mean it would happen tomorrow, he wanted the boy to grow a little wiser, to understand that sex would bring a whole new dimension to their relationship.

He turned on the CD player and punched the selection button at random. The opening strains of 'Comfortably Numb' by Pink Floyd filled the tiny passenger chamber of the Vette. Oh God, how appropriate, Ben thought.

Joseph had introduced him to the fanciful British group way back when. Ben thought it was the most awesome rock music on the planet, then and now.

And as the lyrics finally found his favorite verse, Ben sang along:

When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse, out of the corner of my eye.

I turned to look but it was gone, I cannot put my finger on it now,

The child is grown, the dream is gone.

I have become comfortably numb. (®EMI)

And with those words all the fear he felt about falling in love with Gene vanished, the guitar solo taking his mind to another place, one of awe and imagination. A place where loving a boy was good and wonderful, where two people in love could be whatever they wished ... even comfortably numb.

When the final strains of the music faded, Gene reached over and pushed the off button.

"I want to sleep with you tonight," he said.

Ben whipped the car into the driveway and handed Gene the remote.

"You won't give me an answer, will you?"

"We're in the car, Gene ... I can't sleep with you here. Open the door."

It was an incredible feeling ... knowing the boy wanted to sleep with him. Not that anything would happen; there were several things he wanted to know first. But the act of sharing his bed was a giant leap for them both, a chance to explore and touch, to share the warmth of their passion.

At this point, Gene would be a terrible lover. Inexperience dictated that much. It would be Ben's opportunity to demonstrate what was possible and study what was not. Gene's feedback would be important and a good education in making love might take months, preferably about three months to be exact. But Ben wasn't stupid, things would go at the boy's pace, he would have to be the one with patience.

Gene wasn't sure if his offer had been accepted, Ben could tell the moment they walked in the house. The kid was quiet and slowly walked up to his room. Ben glanced at the clock, they had until six thirty. He would have to start cooking by five. He followed the boy up the stairs.

He poked his head in Gene's room. "How about a shower before you change? Or better yet, how about a splash in my bathtub?"

The boy looked at him, had he heard right? "You mean ... together?"

"Sure ... it might be fun," Ben said.

Yes, those walls had come down fast.

Gene smiled, "I'll wash your back."

"Hmm, sounds nice. Takes eight minutes to fill the tub, meet you there," Ben said.

He didn't recall Gene ever seeing him naked, no, he was sure the boy hadn't. They were both uncut, that was part of the attraction on his part Ben was sure. The boy probably had an inch on him when erect, that was even sexier. Ben stripped and went in to fill the tub, turning on the faucets at both ends. The elliptical shaped tub could hold four adults, there were benches built in on both ends. The sound of the water masked Gene's entrance.

Suddenly Ben felt a hand on his back as the boy leaned over to watch the water fill the tub. They stood up together and he saw Gene was wearing only a towel. The boy looked down, his natural curiosity getting the best of him.

"Oh ... you're just like me," he said, looking at Ben's uncut softness.

"Foreskin can be fun, if you play it right," Ben replied. "You wash down there, don't you?"

"My dick, yeah, I suppose."

"I mean you pull the skin back and wash all the way underneath the skin to get that nasty gook out of there."

"Yeah," Gene said. "Dean showed me about that when we were little. He said it tasted bad if I didn't."

Ben smiled at the boy's sudden blush. OK he wanted sex but talking about it was embarrassing, go figure. The water was about a foot deep when Ben turned off one of the faucets and stepped in. Gene dropped the towel and joined him. The boy grinned, he had his wish ... they were naked together. Ben sat down on the bench and Gene took a seat beside him. When the water was just about the right level Ben shut it off.

"Ok, hit that green button over there," Ben said.

Gene reached across and pushed the button. Immediately the pumps kicked in with a low hum and the jets activated. The warm water swirled and frothed, bubbling up around them and Gene giggled.

"It tickles," he laughed. He stopped when he saw the look on Ben's face. "What?"

"You are the most beautiful creature in the world when you laugh ... I love to watch you laugh," Ben said.

"And I love to watch you watch me," Gene said. "It gives me a feeling like ... like somebody cares about me."

Ben leaned over and kissed Gene's cheek. "I do care ... I love you, there's no turning back now."

And they kissed amidst the bubbles, lips and tongues searching and finding the passion that needed to be shared. Gene's hands rubbed Ben's chest and flanks, while Ben slid his fingers up and down the boy's back. There was soon no doubt that they had the whole kissing thing down to a science. Ben reached down and cupped the boy's ass cheeks, pulling him close as he lay back against the sloped side of the tub.

Gene slid himself on top, his lips never leaving Ben's, as their cocks lay side by side, firm and ready for anything. Ben squeezed the boy's small ass, kneading the flesh as he pulled them tighter together. Gene's cock was pressed against his belly and Ben slowly began to pull the boy up and release him to slide back down. The effect rubbed their cocks together and Gene groaned with pleasure.

Ben slipped his lips away from the boy's, moving his head to kiss along Gene's jaw line and down the nape of his smooth slender neck. Gene was rubbing his cock up and down on Ben's stomach, finally finding a rhythm that felt good. Ben's lips sought out the boy's nipples and he licked at first and then gently nibbled.

"Oh God," Gene moaned, "don't stop that ... Oh ... Uhhhhhh."

Ben slid a hand down off the boy's ass and fondled his ball sac. Gene arched his back, pressing his body down, feeling Ben's cock stab into his belly. They both groaned and resumed kissing. Gene reached a hand down between their bodies and began pinching Bens nipples. It wasn't a light touch; Ben felt real pain and so much more pleasure.

Ben resumed kissing and sucking on the boy's neck, careful to not leave any unwanted marks. "Oh ... Ben ... Uhhh," Gene moaned, "you're gonna ... make me cum."

"Not yet, sweetie ... I wanna see you shoot," Ben said.

Gene giggled and then groaned, his pace picking up, his cock throbbing against Ben's flesh. "Soon ... " He said.

Ben lifted the boy up, coming to his knees in the tub. Gene clung to his waist, thrusting ever harder. He lay Gene down on the tiles below the window and slowly disengaged the legs wrapped around his waist. His hands slid down, one grasping the boy's cock, the other going straight for the sack of goodies.

Gene moaned very loudly as he began to stroke, thrusting upwards into Ben's hand.

"Oh ... oh God ... don't stop ... faster ... I'm coming ... oh ... no." And Gene arched his back as Ben felt the boy's cock throb in his hand. Gene was almost screaming ... and as his body twitched, long ropes of white cream shot forth, splattering the walls and the window overhead. He came with such force; Ben was stunned for a moment until Gene grasped the hand rubbing his cock and urged it to go faster.

More ... there's more, Ben thought? Urged on by the boy, he rubbed faster and Gene seemed to flop around a bit until another huge burst of semen shot out, coating Ben's hand and splattering the boy's chest and neck.

A double orgasm, one on top of the other ... Damn ... had to envy that. As expected Gene collapsed and Ben lifted him back into the bubbles, hugging him tightly. Chest heaving from the effort, Gene grinned.

"Oh ... Ben, it was never like that before."

"I'll bet, I didn't think it possible for one guy to shoot so much."

"It was you ... you made me do it," Gene said, reaching a hand up behind Ben's neck and pulling them together in another round of kisses. The water flowed around them as Gene laid his head on Ben's chest and sighed. "That was awesome."

Suddenly the boy sat up. "You didn't come ... that's not fair."

"It's ok, it was all I needed ... I enjoyed watching you."

Gene looked up at the streaks on the window and giggled. "I did that?"

"Yup ... and a lot more."

"Ew ... you mean its all in the water around us?"

"Nope, the filters got all of it. This water circulates real fast, it didn't miss a drop."

"I feel bad that you didn't come ... you need to."

"But we have all night now, don't we?" Ben asked. "I'll come for you later."

Gene seemed to brighten at the prospect. "Oh yeah, I am gonna make you hit the ceiling."

And Gene began to laugh. The infectious sound of his happiness filled the room and soon had them both going. This is what I love, Ben thought, I want to remember his laughter forever.

But they had come here for a wash and finally that had to be accomplished. Ben drained the tub and picked up the flexible shower head. He soaped Gene's head with rich shampoo, soaped his body with soft scented soap and rinsed the boy off. Gene stood quite still, enjoying Ben's touch and attention.

And then he insisted on doing the same for Ben, reaching for the shampoo bottle. Move for move, Gene performed the same tasks and Ben basked in the glow he felt at the boy's hands moving across his body. The kid wanted to please him; he only lacked the knowledge of how to care for someone. It might be a long cold winter ahead, but Ben felt only warmth in his heart.

It was getting on five o'clock when they emerged from the bath. They dressed and bounded down the stairs to the kitchen. Ben had decided on a chicken and wild rice dish, copious amounts of salad and some fresh baguettes. If Brad stuck to his vegetarian diet he would find plenty to eat at this meal. Ben knew from experience that boys would eat most anything if it tasted good.

Gene looked in the fridge and laughed. "Wow, you bought a ton of stuff today ... what's in the white box?"

"That's a hands off to you, young man ... it's a surprise," Ben said.

"A surprise ... for me?"

"Yes, sweetie ... "

"Oh, Ben ... what is it? You gonna tell me?"

"No ... you'll find out after dinner," Ben said. He almost laughed, the boy was going to spend the whole night wondering. "But if you open the box I will have to throw it away."

"No you won't ... would you?" Gene asked.

"I might ... you don't want to find out, do you?"

"No ... I won't touch it ... I swear," Gene said.

"Good boy ... will you help me make the salad?" Ben asked.

"Uh, I don't know how ... oh, you mean cut the stuff up?"

"Yup. That would be a big help."

Gene cut up the tomatoes, cucumbers, spring onions and mushrooms. Ben watched the boy carefully but he seemed to know what he was doing. For a kid that didn't eat veggies, he seemed to be familiar with slicing them. Ben tore the lettuce, three kinds, and washed it thoroughly. He let Gene drop the goodies in on top and mix it all up. They covered it with plastic wrap and made room for the bowl in the fridge.

Ben washed and set the chicken to bake for an hour. The rice would take half that time.

"Shall we eat in the dining room or here in the kitchen?" Ben asked.

"Uh ... here, who uses the dining room?"

"My parents did, but I guess Dean is family, nothing formal," Ben said.

"Hell no, you don't want to scare them do you?" Gene laughed.

At twenty minutes after six the doorbell rang and Gene went to answer it. Ben was taking the chicken and rice dish out of the oven when Brad walked into the kitchen.

"Aloha ... you sure have a nice place here," he said.

"Courtesy of my parents, they abandoned me and snuck off to Florida," Ben said with a smile.

"Business must be good, couldn't handle this on a teacher's salary. Oh, the boys are off upstairs somewhere."

"Hope you came hungry," Ben said. "Still abiding those vegetarian rules?"

"I'll skip that tonight, the chicken smells great. I'm just your basic bachelor cook these days; good thing Dean has a cast iron stomach."

"Want something to drink before dinner? There's tea and soda, unless you want something stronger," Ben said.

"Tea will be just fine ... glasses?"

"Left of the sink, pull down four will you. Gene says we should eat in here anyway."

"That suits me fine," Brad said.

Brad set the table while Ben set the food out and pulled the warm baguettes from the oven. The smell of food brought the boys running down the stairs.

"Hi, Mr. Bradshaw ... uh, Ben ... " Dean said.

"Good to see you too, Dean. You guys take a seat. Let's eat while it's still hot."

The meal went over well and the boys ate everything on their plates, including the salad. Gene seemed to be enjoying the greens from the smiles he gave Ben during the meal, or was he thinking about later? Brad managed to keep the conversation focused away from his early life and steadily drew Ben into answering questions about his childhood. It didn't matter. Ben knew he would get quid pro quo when the boys were out of the room.

And that's how it went when the meal was done. The boys went off to play the PS2 while Brad helped police the kitchen. They sat down over a mug of fresh coffee.

"I guess Dean isn't familiar with much of your life before Southeast," Ben said.

"Sorry, was I that obvious?" Brad replied.

"No, you dodged the issues gracefully, very sportsman like," Ben chuckled.

"Ok, I guess you deserve an overview," Brad said. "I graduated college up in Baltimore and went looking for work in athletics. It was fortunate that the first place I chose to apply just happened to be looking for a wrestling coach and they accepted me. It was a junior college post, nothing major, small town stuff. I worked during the day teaching health classes, coached in the afternoons and was working on my Masters in night school.

"So I met this young lady in night school and the week after we both graduated we got married. Yeah, I know, you didn't expect that of me," Brad laughed.

"No ... not exactly," Ben agreed.

"Well, I did, and it was foolish. I had only had a brief fling on the gay side in my early college days, but nothing about that seemed appealing for the long run. Debby was supportive, financially independent and a great cook, but it only lasted three years.

"I suppose I still had some lingering gay feelings and even the thought of trying to see myself as bisexual didn't work out. She wanted someone else and I was only too willing to oblige. I left the college job and her, moving down here almost four years ago. I tried very hard to get into one of the universities but they wanted more experience, so I went to the school board. Southeast seemed like a good deal from the start ... and no, I wasn't thinking about being gay at the time either."

"I had a nice chat with Simon Hanover the other day," Ben said. "It seems that gay teachers are finding better acceptance these days."

"Maybe in his field, but not in athletics. All those boys in jock straps ... never gonna happen. The male core of the department is still sublimely ignorant and homophobic, that includes the students and the coaches. And then I met Dean."

Brad sighed. Ben could almost catch the change in the man's demeanor. Dean affected Brad in so many ways; it must be quite a burden.

"He showed up for wrestling when he was barely fifteen and I felt there was something special about the kid, I just didn't know what. He was the best looking boy in the freshman class and I felt an attraction to him, but I didn't expect it to become sexual.

"He had a good first year and started spending a lot of free time working with me around the department. I got the usual 'teacher's pet' ribbing from the other coaches when he hung around me so much but they respected the kid's abilities on the mats. Dean is going all-state this year, he's that good."

"He must have a fine coach," Ben said.

"But I tried to overlook the abusive clues when I first noticed them. He tried to hide the bruises and the scratches. But slowly I learned about his home life and that was a shocker. I took the only course I could think of, I bribed his mother to let him live with me. I gave her all the rationales, the extra coaching he would receive, the chance at an athletic scholarship, but all she wanted was the cash. She said I could fuck him all I wanted long as she got paid."

"I've met her, but we had a slightly different outcome from our discussion," Ben said.

"Whatever you did was a blessing. Gene deserves to be away from her, I felt so guilty that I couldn't afford to take both boys away from that bitch."

"If I have my way you may end up terminating your current payments to her ... she won't need the money where she's going," Ben said.

"You ... ?"

"Don't ask what I have in mind, ok?" Ben said.

"No problems," Brad replied. "Dean doesn't ever want to see her again."

"And isn't that a sad testimony for a mother, but she deserves it. So when did you and Dean first discover one another?"

"During the second week of his sophomore year he invited himself over to my house one afternoon after school. He'd become like a puppy dog, following at my heels the whole first year at Southeast and I still didn't understand what he was after. It had been so long since I'd had feelings for another guy I didn't remember how it works. There hadn't been any kind of emotional or physical love in my life for almost three years at that point, half of that during the marriage to Debby.

"So Dean comes to my house, sits down on my couch and proceeds to tell me all about how he has this crush on a guy. It never occurred to me that he was talking about this guy being his coach. But I tried to tell him that it was ok to be gay, that gay people had the same feelings as anyone else and that they were just as important."

"Walked right into that one didn't you," Ben chuckled.

"Naive doesn't begin to describe how dumb I was. But then Dean sat on my lap and kissed me. It was the nicest feeling, and the scariest moment of my life. I realized he wanted me, cared about me and it had to come at the most vulnerable time of my life.

"And he kept coming back, sometimes bringing Gene with him. We played around and Dean even wanted Gene involved. I could tell that the boys had sexual experience with one another, that was normal. But I also knew Gene wasn't comfortable with me and I told Dean to stop trying to get his brother involved.

"It was the right choice because Dean admitted he was gay. That first afternoon alone with him I remember thinking that he had won and I lost, but now I know better ... we're both winners."

"The boy's age didn't deter you?" Ben asked.

"Yes, it did. But Dean knew what he wanted. He was more aware of his gay self at sixteen than I was ... or still think I am. I know the whole argument, it's illegal and all that, but I can't give him up, it's like an addiction.

"Look, I'm around attractive naked boys half of my work day but I don't look at them in the same way, never have. I wouldn't be telling you any of this except that Dean says I have to be honest with you, that you'll understand. He's a most amazing creature Ben, wise beyond his seventeen years of life."

"I get that with Gene too," Ben said. "Except I gather that Dean is the more mature of the two. Gene comes off a bit naive, but I believe he only lacks experience. Once he knows something he runs with it and works hard to better himself."

"I don't want to pry, but Dean believes you guys are soon to be lovers," Brad said.

"He probably knows the exact date as well; I'm the one in the dark. I work in the legal field, and I have been resisting the boy best as I can ... but I also know I'm failing miserably and it scares me."

"They are both in need of such great amounts of love, it hurts me to think about it," Brad said. "I need Dean almost as much as he needs me, and we're both very careful who sees that need."

"I noticed, but then I was looking for it. You both seem to have developed quite a relationship, I envy that," Ben said.

"You mean he demands and I give?" Brad laughed. "It was that way in the beginning, now it's different, mellower ... sincere."

"Well Gene tried being subtle and that didn't get him anywhere," Ben said with a laugh.

"Dean is giving him advice. Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have said anything."

"They're plotting my demise? My capitulation? The little bastards ... it's about what I expected. But Gene is so ... so fucking sexy; I am already dead in his sights."

"You just have to be careful. Does anyone else know about him living with you?" Brad asked.

"Uh, just about everyone that matters I'm afraid. But only my lawyer and my office manager know I'm gay. They won't suspect anything else unless Gene blows the whistle."

"Then keep a lid on him, be the parent he never had, that's what I do for Dean."

"And very well I might add ... you ready for dessert?" Ben asked.

"Sure, a little something sweet might be nice," Brad replied.

"Oh, we won't talk about what you and Dean have planned for later," Ben laughed. "I got Gene a birthday cake, the bitch never did."

"You do love him ... good for you," Brad said.

They set up the cake, seventeen candles and all, lit them and called the boys in from the game room. The minute Gene walked in the kitchen, Brad and Ben started singing "Happy Birthday." The boy stood there stunned while Dean joined in the singing and couldn't stop laughing. When the song was done they urged Gene to blow out the candles which he promptly did in one breath. Then he threw his arms around Ben's neck and cried.

The room became silent except for Gene's sobbing. Ben looked up and saw tears in Dean's eyes as well. The boy leaned over his brother's shoulder and gave Ben a kiss on the cheek.

"You're a good man," Dean said, and then he wrapped his arms around Brad.

"Oh ... Ben, that ... is ... so ... sweet," Gene sobbed. "I ... love ... you."

Brad smiled. "Welcome to the family, Ben."

The cake was chocolate fudge marble swirl, the most outlandish pile of calories Ben could find at the bakery. They managed to eat only a small portion, it was so rich, the rest was wrapped and frozen. Christmas was right around the corner and it would taste just as good for the holidays.

But the evening ended early, the wrestling meet was at ten o'clock and Dean needed to rest. Gene gave Brad a hug, while Dean did the same for Ben.

"You love my brother," Dean whispered in his ear.

"Yes I do," Ben replied.

"Then I love you too," Dean said, kissing him once again before letting go.

Brad and Ben hugged their good-byes and so did the boys.

"Good luck at your meet tomorrow," Gene said.

"You're gonna have to come watch me sometime, ya know," Dean said. "Finals are in three weeks."

"We'll be there, I promise." Ben said.

After he closed the door, Gene just stood there looking at him.

"What?" Ben said.

Gene grinned, "Why are you so nice to me?"

"Oh, I don't know," Ben said, going with the flow and remembering the first time he had heard that question. "Maybe because ... I love you so much."

"But it hasn't always been like that ... why were you so nice to me that first day?"

"Because I saw something wonderful. There was this scared young boy standing before me and I thought he was just so ... so beautiful. Something deep inside told me I had better take good care of him because he was going to be so important in my life. And it's true; you are the most important thing in my life. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes, but I already knew the answer. Now Im ready to be the most important thing in your bed ... if you'll let me."

Ben smiled. "I think you're ready."


On to Chapter Ten

Back to Chapter Eight

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"Gene" Copyright © 27 September 2008 Chris James. All rights reserved.
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