The ride back to the Apache village was a pretty quiet affair leaving Darby alone with his thoughts. In all his planning for the move out west he had never considered killing a man. He'd carried the derringer without realizing that just having a gun meant he might have to use it.

Willis had made the shooting necessary ... and yet, Darby didn't remember making the choice to shoot ... it just happened. The bullet Willis fired had gone off into the brush thanks to Mosh, but would the man have fired again? There would never be an answer to that question.

Darby had defended his property and his friend, although Indigo seemed to do just fine with that fry pan. Learning that Indigo had spoken to the judge on Jesse's behalf really didn't surprise him since the Indian seemed to know all the important people in town.

His concerns about Jesse had been satisfied when he saw the boy in Drucker's arms. He didn't know the man that well but perhaps Indigo would tell him. Yes, a most unusual Indian ... and those words, where had they come from?

Darby dropped back until Branna was walking beside the wagon.

"Those words you said at the grave ... where did they come from?"

Indigo nodded and removed the pipe from his mouth. "The wisdom of Confucius, an ancient Chinese scholar. His philosophy still guides millions of people in China."

"How do you remember all that stuff?" Darby asked.

Indigo shrugged. "Pretty easy to remember words of wisdom when you are surrounded by ignorance. Alcohol and guns don't mix well as our former Mr. Willis discovered. In many ways I hope they never find Jesse's mother. She walked away from her responsibilities just as Willis forgot his. The boy will do just fine with Drucker."

"I don't know Drucker like you do ... how do you know that?"

Indigo took a swig of water from the canteen and passed it over to Darby. It was a dry and dusty trail they followed so Darby swished a mouthful of water around and spat it on the ground.

"Drucker was in the Army in his younger days ... the Confederate Army. I imagine he was about Jesse's age when he joined up towards the end of that war. But he rode with some pretty tough men who fled to Texas when the south surrendered because they didn't plan on giving up.

"That bunch became outlaws, started robbing banks and stealing cattle. In time they were chased by the Texas Rangers and the Mexican Army since they had no respect for the borders. But it soon became apparent that the U.S. Army would eventually find them once the major Indian tribes were defeated and Drucker put down his guns and escaped to Oklahoma.

"He met a woman in Lawton, got married and had kids. He worked in a hardware store and was there when the Army built their Fort Sill ... do you know that name?"

Darby shook his head and Indigo continued. "Drucker was married and raising his family when Geronimo and some of his people were brought to the fort, and as you know the Chief is still there. The Army gave the Indians free run of the fort and the area around it as long as they didn't run away.

"So as Drucker tells it he was in the store one day when the door opened and in walked this very old Indian who introduced himself as Geronimo. It seems they developed an odd friendship, but then Drucker says they had much in common. His life as an outlaw and Geronimo's reputation at fighting the Army left them much to talk about.

"But Drucker's kids had grown and left the home when his wife died of the cholera. He had little to keep him in Lawton so he moved to Tombstone and opened his hardware store. He's always been a quiet man and I imagine the death of his wife brought about that silence. But he understands loss and I think that's what makes him feel for Jesse."

"At least the boy has someone," Darby said.

"Yes, that's true," Indigo replied.

It was near sunset when they reached the river and crossed to find Taza waiting on the other side. He was dressed as an Apache warrior in deerskin leggings and feathers tucked into his head band. This must have something to do with the Sunrise Dance, Darby figured, but he knew Taza would tell him all about it.

They helped Indigo unhitch the mules and unload the feed supplies into the temporary barn. It would take some time to gather enough wood to rebuild a proper barn, but they would need that for the animals by the time winter set in.

Indigo returned to the village while Darby was fed the leftover stew Sonsee had made earlier, and then it was time for a bath. The sun was down as Darby and Taza made their way to the river by starlight. They undressed and slid into the water.

"You have quiet thoughts," Taza said. "Something happen in the town."

"I suppose you should know ... I shot and killed a man who wanted to steal my horse." And then Darby went on to explain the way it happened. Taza listening quietly and then nodded.

"It was a brave thing ... but I feel you do not agree."

"He was the second man I have killed this month," Darby said. "Shooting that Mexican bandit didn't affect me like this because that was necessary. Killing Willis just seemed so unnecessary, so wrong."

"A man came to take what is yours with a gun and you stop him," Taza said. "Now you feel bad inside because he made you do this to protect friend and property. But it is like choice you make when killing bandit, you should feel the same."

"I didn't choose to shoot him, Taza. I just reacted and fired my gun before I even realized it was in my hand."

"This is the way of a warrior, Darby. Chappo say arrows shot in anger will miss the enemy ... they must be aimed from the heart. I have killed a man but my heart says this was right."

"I hope I never have to do it again," Darby said.

"I do not have an angry spirit inside and killing ... " Taza paused and looked upriver. He smiled and motioned for Darby keep quiet as they moved to the riverbank.

Darby followed Taza's glance and saw a lantern moving towards the water several hundred feet away. Cautiously climbing out of the water they reached the darkness under the trees without being seen. Who had that lantern, Darby wondered?

Taza crept silently under the trees towards the light and then sat on the ground where Darby joined him. There were several shapes gathered on the riverbank around the lantern. He turned to ask Taza who this was and felt the boy place a hand across his lips to keep him silent.

The shapes took on definition and Darby realized he was watching three young Apache girls undressing and then wading into the water to bathe. Their bodies became defined as they left the shelter of the trees and stood in the open water under the stars.

These must be the girls they were going to celebrate in the Sunrise Dance the following morning. Although he could not see their faces, their young bodies were very much in evidence. He sat quietly, afraid they would be discovered and shamed for watching, but the sight was just astonishing.

Girls of this age had none of the voluptuous features of an older woman. But as the girls washed their hair and bodies Darby began to realize this was all a part of the growth they had each achieved. Tomorrow they would be celebrated as women.

He had seen Apache women wash their babies, and the childish play of small children who came down to the river to bathe. These girls were on their own tonight, but still childlike in their innocence as they tossed the washcloths back and forth while laughing.

Watching them became a curiosity, especially when he realized he was not aroused by their nudity. And so of course he wondered what Taza was thinking. It was too quiet to ask the boy even though he was sitting right there within arm's reach.

The bathing ritual finally ended and the girls walked out of the water and dressed. The lantern swayed and they were gone, back to the village for whatever preparations they would have to make for the morning. Only then did Darby turn to look at Taza.

"The girls look like they enjoyed that," Darby said.

"I could not be a woman," Taza said. "I know the reason behind their monthly bleeding but I would feel ashamed if that happened to me."

"But they see it differently, I'm sure. Reaching womanhood is an important step in any girl's life. In a few years they will be married and can have children and these moments of childhood will be gone."

"Yes, they will marry ... would you like Apache girl as your wife?"

"No, Taza, I am not ready for marriage and these girls are too young. It would be hard to think of them as sexual. When do Apache girls start having sex?"

"Children play until they reach this age, but a boy would be beaten if he made a girl have baby. But girls marry young while men do not. No, men must give to woman a baby only after he can prove his worth and take care of them."

"Is this why you don't look after women? Do you feel you cannot take care of them?" Darby asked.

"No ... there are other reasons. But my father speaks to me of marriage and he is unhappy I do not choose a woman. Come, we must go."

The preparations for the ceremony had been going on for several days and involved the whole village. Chappo sat and dispensed tasks, led prayers, and generally directed the coming days of celebration which began at dawn.

Taza had awakened him in the dark and Darby sat up in bed. Once again Taza was dressed in his Apache finery and eager for the events to begin.

"I go now to help my family," Taza said. "You come when the drums call." And with that he was gone.

Darby sat on the edge of his bed wondering if he had time to kindle a fire and make coffee. Sonsee would not be there to fix breakfast so he was on his own. Pulling on his pants and boots Darby started a small fire in the cook stove and prepared the coffee pot. There was flat bread leftover from dinner, it would have to do.

Mosh went to the door, wagged his tail, and a minute later Indigo arrived.

"Good, I smell coffee," Indigo said. "You know, I cannot get anyone but you interested in a cup of coffee in the morning. The Apache don't do breakfast well."

Darby thought back to the roots and berries Taza had found for their trail breakfast. That wasn't so bad but hardly compensated for the desire he had for the bacon and eggs his mother used to make. The coffee was ready and Darby took two mugs off the shelf.

"Are they getting ready over there?" Darby asked.

"The village has been making preparations all night. This ceremony is quite a task for everyone involved. Not only will the poor girls be asked to dance and pray for hours so will their families."

"I don't know what I am supposed to do."

"Well the younger men usually watch the girls dance. The ceremony has a spiritual side, but it's practically a courting ritual as well. The endurance of the girls will be a judge of their quality as women as they grow so the young men watch and decide if one of them would make a good mate.

"Of course the musings of a young man lusting after a woman are not as important as family connections. The Verde Apache group is too small for most of them to find a mate here. Families are very careful about the breeding of their girls, and Great Hawk is very aware of that."

"So what can the men do about it?" Darby asked.

"They will visit other clans. This fall Great Hawk will take a group back into the mountains, might even venture onto the reservation if he's careful. Moving here has its disadvantages for them, but then they all knew that."

"So I'm just going to sit and watch today, is that it?"

"Pretty much ... maybe you should bring a book to read," Indigo said. "Words on a page are still pretty unknown to the Apache so they won't be offended."

Darby finished dressing and grabbed the copy of Moby Dick before he followed Indigo out the door. There were several fires burning in the village and movement but the ceremony had not begun. Darby guessed they were waiting for the sunrise.

The drums began with the first appearance of light in the sky, and revealed the women of the village dressed in bright colors with bands of small bells tied around their ankles and wrists. The men wore buckskin leggings, white shirts and the traditional cloth headband, all things Darby had seen before, except now their faces were painted.

The photos Darby had seen of Indians at the New York library had shown him warriors in face paint but he had never seen it up close before. Red, blue, yellow, black and white were the colors of choice, but each face was done differently.

"The paint, what does it mean?" Darby asked Indigo as they approached the fire by Great Hawk's lodge.

"Different markings for families within the clan, but the symbols and the design have spiritual meaning as well. I would guess that many of them were developed long ago when the Apache were true warriors and the tradition has been handed down from father to son. A very important way to build courage before battle.

"War paint doesn't have the same meaning anymore, now it is ceremonial. I think every tribe in the land uses it in some form or another. My people painted their bodies as well and I have a clan symbol which I have never used."

"You do? Is it a secret or can you tell me?"

"The warriors of my family would have a blue handprint on the chest right over the heart. It was supposed to ward off arrows ... but we know better now, don't we? Come, let's go find a seat."

Taza was there in the small group of drummers who sat against the front wall of the lodge. His face displayed several symbols painted in blue and white but Darby was too far away to see what they were ... and then the three young girls made an appearance.

The drums began a slow monotonous beat and the girls did a small shuffle step, circling their way around the fire. Chappo and several older women came out of one of the hogans, took a seat facing east towards the rising sun and began to sing.

Darby watched the singers who seemed so stoic and rigid as they chanted along with the drums. If this went on all day he would surely be bored beyond belief, and then as the song ended the women got up and joined the girls shuffling around the fire.

The drums continued and others from the village gathered to watch the dance and called out words of encouragement to the dancers. Darby finally looked back at Chappo and saw the man motion for him to come over. It seemed odd since Chappo had only smiled at him on occasion but they had never shared more than a few words.

Darby gathered his blanket and the book, walking around the circle to sit beside the elder medicine man. Chappo grasped his arm and gave Darby a nod.

"It is time we speak," Chappo said. "Your friendship with my people is very important and I want to thank you for your kindness."

Darby was amazed since the old man spoke English better than any of the other Apache. Indigo had told him that the man didn't like speaking the white man's language, but he sure knew it well.

"I am grateful for everything the Apache have done for me and my uncle," Darby said, and then he smiled. "I didn't know you would speak to me."

"I learned English from the preachers at the Indian missionary school on the reservation, but they were not very nice men. Their idea was to teach new ways to the young so that we might forget we were Apache. Our language was forbidden and we were punished if we spoke even a single word."

"That is not right ... "

"Of course it isn't, but as children we did not like to be beaten so we learned the words in English and only spoke our language in secret. This made it very difficult for me and others to trust the white man ... but I learned to trust Sean and he shared my confidence.

"But I wish to speak about N'ta- zaan who you call Taza. Father and son have differences as you might expect between generations. Itza-chu is a good leader to his people and I would expect no different from the son ... if he gets to be Chief."

"If? I thought that was what everyone wanted?" Darby said.

"A Chief is a keeper of tradition, as am I," Chappo said. "But sometimes there is conflict and when there is a choice to be made Itza-chu looks to the past. Your friend Taza is a thinker and he looks forward, although he does respect the past he will not dwell there.

"At first Sean spoke to the boy about his place in this world and encouraged his modern thinking ... I see that you have done the same, and this is good. In my role as a healer and spiritualist I observe the changes to our lives and must judge the outcome for all Apache. You, Mr. O'Brien, are the messenger of the future ... the Nantan Ya'ai."

"What does that mean?" Darby asked.

Chappo smiled. "Do not let the words fool you. It means spokesman of the sun in translation, but the symbolism is more important ... you are the messenger of tomorrow, the future. This is where Taza wants to dwell and I agree with him."

Darby nodded, watching the girls in their slow dance. "I imagine what you are telling me is that this is a problem for Great Hawk."

"Yes, for many reasons. His own early education was at the reservation school in the New Mexico territory and he was not their best student. Taza on the other hand has been a bright and intensely curious pupil, first among those I have taught. But Sean and Indigo had great influence over his thinking, and I would venture to say Itza-chu is a little jealous of his son.

"There are other reasons as I said. The father would have him marry one of those young girls you see dancing."

"Oh ... but they're too young," Darby said.

"For now," Chappo said. "But a Chief is also a politician and Itza-chu would like to join two prominent families with this marriage ... mine and his."

Darby looked out at the girls. "Maybe in five years ... "

"No, it would be sooner. The girl with the blue trim on her apron ... that is my granddaughter, third wife, her name is Nalin. She is a clever girl, well-spoken and would make a fine bride for any man, but not Taza.

"Itza-chu has commanded his son to marry her and Taza refuses the order, for this he will not be Chief ... unless something changes. I know you have plans to travel and would like to take Taza with you, but Itza-chu will forbid this as well."

Darby thought about that for a minute. Chappo was telling him something that Great Hawk would probably just as soon not be revealed ... but why?

"The Chief is risking a lot with that edict," Darby said.

"He risks your displeasure, and that worries him," Chappo said. "All the wealth and the land is in your name, he cannot risk making you angry."

"I would not deny your people what is rightfully theirs, Sean would not want that," Darby said. "Taza has become my shadow and my teacher these past few weeks ... what can I do to convince Great Hawk that he is wrong?"

Chappo sighed. "You have my support, but I have not come up with an answer ... and this is why I have chosen to speak with you. My time among the people is growing short and Itza-chu knows this. I have spent years conveying the knowledge I have to him. It seemed right that he should take my place when Taza rises to become Chief ... and now he risks all of that."

"Marriage has to be Taza's choice," Darby said. "I don't have the urge to marry either, it isn't necessary."

"But you are unique in that there is no family pressure on you. Sometimes the companionship of men is enough to distance the thoughts of marriage." Chappo chuckled and a smile came to his lips. "Women are often the obstacle to a man's desires. Marriage has brought me pleasure and I have been married three times. I have lived on when my women did not, but I have joy in my grown children.

"Taza must go with you and see the places beyond his experience, it will make him grow and become strong. Do you know the poet and writer John Donne?"

"Donne ... I don't think so," Darby said.

"No man is an island, entire of itself ... " Chappo said. "I learned that as a boy. We are all a part of one another and Taza needs to learn this lesson. He has chosen you as his teacher, Mr. O'Brien, and that is a great responsibility for you ... "

The drumming stopped and so did Chappo. "The girls will retire to the hogan while the family resumes the dance. Come, let us get in out of the sun and refresh ourselves."

Darby followed Chappo into one of the nearby hogans where they were served juice made from the crushed berries that were growing in profusion on the hillsides. The interior was gloomy as there was no fire or lanterns lit on this day. Chappo took a seat beneath the window at the rear and Darby joined him.

"What are you reading?" Chappo asked.

"Moby Dick ... it seems to be about whales."

"Sean had that book."

"It was in the house with a few others I assume Sean read." Darby opened the book and glanced at the first page. "Oh, it begins in New York. That's probably why he had this book."

"You left behind family and friends to come here," Chappo said.

"Sean wanted me here so I came. I had no idea what to expect."

"Certainly not silver mining with a bunch of Indians," And again Chappo let out that deep resonant chuckle. "I am sure others have told you, but Sean spoke a great deal about you and his family. To my mind you have exceeded the expectations we had about you, and for that I am grateful.

"We will study this problem together and seek a way to convince Itza-chu he is wrong. It's not easy to make a Chief humble himself and admit error, but this is what he must do."

"Perhaps the Chief worries about the dangers Taza may encounter if we journey far away from here," Darby said. "I'm sure there are some elements of risk but I would be facing them, too. I don't plan to travel until the weather cools off because trains can be hot, so I guess that gives us time."

The drumming resumed and yet Chappo didn't make a move to get up.

"I would have liked to see the western ocean in my life because Sean said it is a grand sight to behold. Much of what I have learned is through the eyes of others and it only leaves the mind filled with questions. Taza needs to see these wonders for himself, and then instead of questions he will have answers."

Chappo smiled. "I will sleep for a short while to overcome the weariness of age. You may sit and read or rejoin the ceremonies ... no one will be offended at your choice."

And with that Chappo closed his eyes. The man was very much like Indigo and unlike his own people, Darby thought. The issue between Taza and his father over this marriage could not be allowed to change their forward progress.

Darby didn't think a threatening approach to the Chief would break this deadlock, and Chappo had seemed to agree. There was time, several months, until travel plans would have to be made. Great Hawk would have to relent because Taza was coming with him and that's all there was to it.


On to Chapter Ten

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"Indigo and the Cowboy" Copyright © Chris James. All rights reserved.
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