It was actually just a small article in the Baltimore Sun, buried on page five in the slightly damp City section of the newspaper he'd retrieved from the front stoop. Bob read the article with delight and then reached for his scissors, this was a keeper.

He was always adding these clippings to the growing scrapbook he'd been putting together these past two years. Chopping away at the flimsy newsprint, he cut away a large portion of the page before settling down to carefully square the edges of the article he wanted:

'Howard County Councilman Speaks Out at AIDS Rally,' the headline read and Bob smiled as he reread the text yet again:

Columbia, Maryland - Councilman Paul Saunders, of Howard County, attended a rally held by the newly formed Health Education Resources Organization (HERO). A crowd of several hundred supporters gathered yesterday morning in front of the country health department building in Ellicott City to hear the opening remarks. Mr. Brian Glickman, spokesman for the organization, stated that Councilman Saunders support has been critical in raising funds for the formation of this group.

The only openly gay official in Howard County, Saunders was elected to the council by a slim majority of voters in his district in the fall of 1984. "He plans to keep pressure on the county to increase funding and provide health care for the growing number of low income HIV positive persons reported this year," said Mr. Glickman. "HERO is one hundred percent behind these efforts."

The Councilman opened his speech by stating: "The purpose of this rally is to make sure the Council and members of the Health Department understand just how many citizens in this county are in dire need of assistance and ongoing care for their illness. There are no easy solutions to this growing health crisis and we want to make sure the county doesn't become another problem in the fight for AIDS education."

Councilman Saunders has been a controversial figure in local politics during his tenure on the council, speaking out in favor of funding for more patient care and educational resources for the citizens in his county. He has faced opposition from several local conservative church organizations who feel a gay person has no place representing them in local government.

Mr. Saunders is a successful local businessman, co-owner of an electronics company that designs avionics for the United States Navy. His bid for office last year met a great deal of resistance in Howard County due to his sexual orientation. The voters of Columbia, Saunders' home district, gave him a narrow victory after his opponent started a series of negative ads that offended almost everyone. Councilman Saunders is considered a top candidate as a delegate for the State legislature two years from now, although at this time he has not stated any intentions of running for the seat ...

Bob smiled. The reporter had all the facts right and had remained impartial, pretty amazing considering the Baltimore papers hadn't been very kind to the gay community over the years. It was about time for a change and Paul's profile on the issues could only help the cause.

He lifted the heavy scrapbook off the shelf in his living room and brought it back to the kitchen table. He was glad of one thing; Robby hadn't been part of the mudslinging that preceded the election. Paul had allowed the boy and his friends to work on the campaign, putting together pamphlets to be distributed at local shopping malls and grocery stores in the area.

But they had not appeared together in public and Paul had stonewalled any questions about his private life, somehow it got by. Bob always felt a little pang of envy when he considered what might have been for himself and Robby, but the boy had made his own choices and continued to do so. Like Paul, he could only feel pride at the way Robby had changed his life and become such a fine young man in just a few short years.

Bob slid the clipping between the pages and closed the scrapbook, glancing at the clock above the refrigerator; he knew the mall would be opening about now. Tomorrow was a very important day for a very special boy and as usual he'd waited until the last minute to buy the right gift.

Robby would receive his high school diploma and graduate in the top third of his class. Damn, that was just so wonderful. But all that effort had won him admittance to the University of Maryland in Baltimore where he would soon find himself immersed in pre-med hell, a necessary evil that separated the wheat from the chaff.

Doctor Robert Barnes, Bob liked the way that sounded. It was a world away from the little boy who had first jumped in his car down by the Park. His former friends wouldn't recognize him now. Bob wondered what had happened to Joey and that little kid he was hanging around with. Lord was that one a cutie.

He sighed, Brian should have been here to share in Robby's glory, he would have been very proud of his young friend. But it's time to go shopping, he thought, as he grabbed his car keys. Time to put the bad thoughts behind and be thankful. At least one boy had avoided the grave; it seemed there might be no hope for those who had been left behind, no hope at all.

The late spring rain had cleared the gutters of trash along the avenue by the Park, washing the debris down storm drains and along towards the harbor in the distance. The air even smelled fresh to him this afternoon as Joey sauntered down the street, watching two tomcats fighting on the dumpster behind the Brick House Bar.

This had been a pretty good year for him so far. Now that he wasn't a kid any more, and being only two months shy of his twenty-first birthday, the clients he dated now seemed to be a whole different sort. There were even three or four regulars, guys that filled his weekends with food, drinks and the occasional bag of weed.

This allowed him to survive the rest of the week and even pay rent on the small room he had taken. Granted, several of the guys were a little kinky, especially that former priest who always wanted to end their sexual encounters with a sound whipping. Joey didn't mind taking a belt to the guy; clients usually got what they wanted as long as they paid him good.

Lately he had been looking forward to dates with the new guy he'd met outside the Hippo, the gay bar down the street from the State Penitentiary. Barry had made quite an impression; he was only twenty-five and really wanted to be friends. He had never pushed Joey into anything sexual when they first started dating and he liked that.

The young man was gay and experienced, figuring Joey would eventually succumb to the tender back rubs and lavish dinners. Barry was very patient and Joey soon found himself in an embrace offering sex, more from a sense of guilt than anything else. Their first experience was reassuring, Barry was warm and tender, their lovemaking far from the hurried pace of his usual trade. There was a passion here, something that conjured up feelings he hadn't felt since he was a child.

Joey went and sat in the burger joint, nursing a soda to kill time and watch the world around him. This place hasn't changed in ten years, he thought, still the same old hangout. A group of young boys were gathered in the next booth over, probably hooking school considering the time of day.

But something was different about them; maybe it was the neckties two of them were wearing, they had to be kids from the church school up the street. Joey hadn't noticed any really young boys hanging out at the Park this year, not that he was especially interested in that kind of thing anymore.

He'd taken a fancy to his fourteen-year-old cousin, a cute little girl he'd been watching grow up all these years. Joey had become even closer to Donna late last year when she had smiled at him seductively, pushing her budding breasts into his chest while they danced at his mom's Christmas party. She reminded him of Chrystal.

Joey had walked her home that night and was finally alone with her while the adults kept the party going down the street. She lost her virginity lying on the bed she'd slept in since early childhood. Only the unseeing eyes of her Barbie Doll collection witnessed the sight of their lovemaking.

Donna kept finding ways to be alone with him, all so she could bounce in his lap as he sucked on her tiny breasts, causing her to shudder with pleasure again and again. The girl wasn't very complicated but she was smart enough to make him wear a condom, he didn't need to be a father anytime soon. If she did get pregnant maybe Barry would help him pay for the abortion, the guy had scads of money.

One of the boys at the adjacent booth shot a spitball through his straw, which ricocheted off the wall and landed in Joey's lap; the kid didn't seem to notice. Things sure have changed, Joey chuckled to himself. Five years ago the brat would have been on his knees apologizing. He just didn't have that respect anymore.

The boy reminded him of Bugs, poor kid. The whole neighborhood had heard when he was shipped off to reform school but no one knew what had happened to him since. Too bad, Joey thought, I coulda made something of him. He glanced at the clock hanging behind the cashier, time to run and clean up. It was Friday and Barry would be comin round.

I wonder what I really see in him, he's really just another hustler, Barry thought as he drove in town. Their regular Friday night dates certainly satisfied his cravings but he knew better than to fall for the guy, what could Joey ever give in return except his body? Maybe I'm just too damn horny all the time, I probably ought to whack off more. Yeah, that might slow me down a little.

He'd spent the afternoon in the second floor bathroom of the mall in Towson, a pretty good place to cruise if you were careful. Like today, the guy in the next stall had given the signal, loud and clear, so Barry had gone for it. The guy was little more than a boy really, probably a college freshman, but it didn't matter because he sucked dick pretty good.

But the kid had almost screamed when Barry dropped to his knees to return the favor and be rewarded with the taste of the boy's sweet juice. They should have used condoms, but hell, the kid looked so new at the game it probably didn't matter. I'm obsessed with sex, Barry thought. Here I am off to fuck Joey's brains out and I'll still be horny when that's done.

Joey always laughed and joked with Barry, teasing him about always being ready to go. He loved to slide his hand in the guy's lap when they were out for dinner since Barry always responded with a resounding erection and even came in his jeans once. They got back to Barry's apartment pretty late and snorted a few lines of coke before taking their clothes off.

It was some really good shit too and before he knew it Joey was trying to swallow everything and then some until Barry cut loose down his throat. Joey choked a little and almost lost it. Barry's solution was to lay the mirror down on the bed with four fat lines on it. Joey had just finished the second line when he felt Barry's renewed erection pushing in his back door, but by then it was a done deal and that cock was deep inside him.

Joey tried to relax and allow the guy to take his due, this was going to earn him at least a hundred, and Barry was always good about that. It wasn't until he felt the gush of warm juice deep inside that Joey realized the guy wasn't wearing a condom. Shit, he never liked it that way.

Barry collapsed on top of him and then rolled him over, diving face first in Joey's crotch. The guy knew how to give head, Joey thought, and soon all else was forgotten as the blizzard of snow danced in his brain.

That particular Friday night also found Bugs defending himself from a couple of unwelcome intruders. He had his hands around this kid's throat, squeezing as the boy gasped for air; fortunately his partner was already stretched out cold on the shower room floor. Several little kids stood naked and huddled in the corner amidst the rising steam, but they would be safe tonight, Bugs had made sure of that.

He' been at the forestry camp for over a year now. All had not gone well since he left the streets and had been moved into a group home run by Social Services. He was certain they had lied to him about finding a foster home. And as the months passed he knew the chances for a foster home grew slimmer.

In response he'd run away, twice in fact, and each time they brought him back and gave him another chance. He changed his tactics and began stealing, small things at first but finally taking a car in the middle of the night and joyriding through the neighborhood. The ride ended when he struck a telephone pole, knocking himself unconscious and only waking up when a cop knocked on the driver's side window.

There followed a series of court hearings and counseling sessions to ascertain why he was acting so incorrigible. Finally a doctor put him on medication to calm him down. He endured five months of lethargy enforced by the medicine before he rebelled, overdosing himself in a suicide attempt.

This time they gave up and took him before a judge in the juvenile court. It was here that the probation officer assigned to his case recommended a stricter regimen, forestry school. The judge said it might make a man out of him, and when the gavel came down Bugs was facing a new dilemma.

At first he thought of running away again but the counselors at the camp were used to punks like him, or so he was told. It was thirty miles to the nearest town, too long to walk and not be caught. To prevent just such an occurrence, they counted heads four times a day and twice at night.

The daily schedule of school and logging worked the boys hard; the system knew a tired boy wouldn't walk away in the middle of the night. There were no fences to keep them in, only the threat of severe punishment and the long walk to civilization. Bugs had finally met his match.

They logged in the surrounding forest, cutting down trees that were sawn at the mill and shipped off on large flatbed trucks that came by twice a week. The camp held fifty-two boys, ages thirteen to eighteen; the latter group became the dominant force after the lights were out.

Bugs was thrown into this strange little society two weeks before his seventeenth birthday. No one here knew what he had done in the city; at least he was grateful for that. He missed Joey, but those days were over.

His days of playing the hustle had come to an end, and for good reason. As a little kid it had all been fun and games, but then Bugs had discovered something about himself ... he decided he wasn't gay. Joey had a lot to do with that decision, and no one was more shocked when Bugs stopped dating.

There were other ways to make money and Bugs knew quite a few of them by now thanks to Benny. But getting locked up with a bunch of boys gave him a new perspective on sex, and he thought it was disgusting. The very first day an oldster told Bugs he had such pretty hair he marched himself off to the barber and had it all shaved off. Nobody was gonna fuck with him, he'd kill someone if they tried.

The work crews were under the supervision of a two man guard team and actually run by the oldsters who'd been there a while. Bugs had avoided becoming a crew leader, he didn't want the responsibility. Fortunately the presence of the guards prevented problems from happening most of the time.

His job on the forestry crew was cutting trees and stripping the branches, carrying the discarded wood to the waste piles they made. It was tiring work and he was always covered with sap from the green wood. He was carrying his last armload towards the edge of the clearing when he heard voices coming from a thick clump of bushes beside the pile he'd made.

"Get up," a hoarse voice whispered, "put your pants back on."

"Oww, it still hurts," a young voice responded.

"Shut up if you know what's good for you," the hoarse one said.

"I won't talk, promise," the young one said.

Bugs moved off the path, dropped his armload and stepped behind a tree. He was just in time as one of the other older boys strode past him. Nathan, he should have known. Bugs wondered where the young voice had gone so he went to look. He found the thirteen year old squatting off the trail, trying to void his bowels of the foreign substance that had been pumped into him.

"Hey," Bugs said, and the boy jumped like he'd been shot.

"Uh, what do you want?" the kid asked. "I'm busy and I already did it with Nathan."

"Yeah, you look pretty busy. I know what he did to you," Bugs said.

"Oh shit, don't say nothin, please," the kid said, "he'll kill me if anyone finds out."

"So you like it, is that it?" Bugs asked.

"No ... I don't, but what can I do?" the kid replied, "He's bigger than me."

"Maybe he'll fall down in the shower and break his head," Bugs said, "I'll see what I can do."

He left the boy stunned by their conversation and went back to his task. Bugs was seventeen now and like Robby his body had grown considerably with the constant exercise, he felt no concerns about his ability to defend himself.

That night he continued his regimen, one hundred push ups and an equal number of stomach crunching sit-ups. His age was in his favor, the oldsters had too many little ones to go after, and they didn't need trouble from kids like him. Bugs kept his eye on them nevertheless, they were just too dangerous to ignore.

The weeks became months and Bugs' body responded to the work by growing stronger, his arms as big as some of the trees he cut down with the broad bladed ax. He became friends with most of the little ones, boys who mainly hung out around him seeking protection. Some of his peers kidded him about being a baby-sitter, but he just laughed it off.

A couple of them thought Bugs was befriending the kids to get it for himself out there in the woods, he didn't laugh at that one and the comments soon stopped. His guardianship was bound to cause friction and that's what had developed in the shower room this Friday night.

Bugs' usual following of little ones always showered when he did, sure that no one would come after them here. But this night was different and a couple of the oldsters had stepped into the shower with nothing good in mind. The older one was named Tom, who thought he was the meanest fucker in camp and he tried to keep Bugs' attention while his pal Nathan moved in behind.

"So you finally got up the nerve," Bugs taunted.

"I'm gonna fuck you up, shit head," Tom threw back as he charged.

Bugs used the momentum of the rush to his own advantage, grabbing an arm and kicking the kid's legs out from under him. That's how Tom found himself slamming headfirst into the tile wall and then everything went black. Bugs quickly turned on Nathan who was just foolish enough to swing at him, missing by a mile and allowing strong fingers to clamp around his throat and pin him to the wall.

"You really don't want to fuck with me, do you?" Bugs asked. "I could rip your nuts off and leave you layin here for the janitor to clean up."

"No," Nathan croaked, "please."

"I catch you fuckin with the little ones again, Nathan, and you won't have those nuts for long. You know about me now and I ain't foolin," Bugs said. "I'm the meanest mother-fucker you ever met." Nathan's urine ran down his legs, and the little ones laughed as the boy ran from the shower building in terror.

Bugs wasn't stupid enough to think this could be kept quiet so he turned himself in at the counselor's office and they put him in solitary to cool off for the night. As he lay on the stiff bunk and stared at the ceiling, he realized it was the first night he had spent alone in over a year, it made him smile.

Bugs was just finishing his morning push-ups after breakfast when the metal door swung open and Lloyd Haines, his counselor, strode in. He looked at Bugs' bare torso and smiled.

"Guess those assholes bit off more than they could chew," he said. "You look pretty scary without your shirt on. Come on and follow me, we have to talk."

Bugs put his shirt back on and followed the man down the hall and out the back door of the building. Instead of heading for the administration building, Lloyd led Bugs across the compound and down a trail through the woods to the huts. These were the housing units the counselors used when they were on duty.

Lloyd walked up to the door of his hut and wiped his feet on the mat before entering, Bugs followed his example. The room inside was warm and friendly, each place having been constructed by boys at the camp and furnished by other boys in the woodshop.

The tiny room held a single bed, a small kitchen and four chairs surrounding a sturdy table where they now sat. Bugs was surprised when the man went to the counter by the corner sink and poured out two mugs of coffee from a thermos jug.

"So you beat the crap out of Tom and scared the piss out of Nathan. Want to tell me about that?" Lloyd asked, putting a mug on the table in front of the boy.

Bugs wasn't surprised Lloyd knew, someone had ratted. "They picked the fight, I was just defending myself."

"Don't bullshit me, Bugs. I know what those two assholes have been doing around here. I had a delegation of kids come talk to me at breakfast this morning; they seem to think you're some kind of hero. Well...are you?"

"No sir, I'm not. I just didn't like their attitude," Bugs replied.

"I understand that. Nathan and Tom won't be with us much longer, in fact the State police ought to be here in a while, gonna take them over to Hagerstown. You know what's over in Hagerstown, don't you?" Lloyd asked.

"Yes, sir, the prison."

"Yep, I think we've seen the last of those two around here. Ought to be a much quieter place now that several of the boys are gonna press charges, don't you agree?"

"Yes, sir," Bugs said.

"So I don't expect to be finding you in solitary anymore considering I've taken away the major reason for your little disagreement last night. Look, I hate what you did in the shower room, ok? But I admire why you did it, I'm sorry if that sounds confusing.

"Whenever you get too many boys together this kind of shit is likely to happen, we just didn't know who was doing it. I even considered you might be our rapist; after all you have quite a record from Baltimore. Now I'm glad I was wrong about you and several of the little kids will testify against Nathan and Tom so they're history around here. But maybe there's someone else ready to take their place and do this shit again. What can we do to stop it?"

"Impossible," Bugs said.

"I know what boys do in the dark and it's natural. I know I've got fifty boys who are all like sex maniacs, runnin around tryin to fuck each other."

"Some of them like it, sir," Bugs said, "you can't stop it."

"I know that, it's the rape we can't tolerate. I've read your file, Bugs. I know what you did before you were locked up. So tell me, are you gonna be part of my problem? Are you gonna become the next Nathan?"

"No way, I ain't like that anymore. You're asking if I'm queer, is that the question?"

"I'm sayin you're almost eighteen and I don't want to hear about you and some little one out in the woods because the boy thinks you're some kind of hero. They all want protection, they might be willing to pay for it any way they can, do you understand where I'm coming from now?" Lloyd asked.

"Yes sir, I do. I won't let anyone hurt those kids, I stopped it before and I'll do it again if I have to. But I won't do anything sexual with them, no matter what you think of me."

"You know, something tells me this isn't the first time you've tried to help other kids, so why are you in here?"

"Because the world keeps fuckin with me," Bugs said grimly, "they won't leave me alone."

"And if they did leave you alone, where would you go? I'm sorry you started off life in a pretty bad way, but maybe you're mature enough now to see that's gonna change, there's a future for you," Lloyd said.

"Yeah, so where is it?" Bugs replied.

"Look, you're on administrative restriction so you have no work assignments today, come on, take a ride with me," Lloyd said, "I'll buy you lunch."

They drove west from the camp in a State owned pickup truck, traveling the dirt road for about ten miles before they even came to an intersection. Bugs barely remembered if this was the way he'd been brought into the camp. Lloyd drove quietly for a while, allowing the boy his own thought.

"So where we goin?" Bugs finally asked.

"Town," Lloyd said, "maybe you'll get to see some girls."

"Why you doin this to me, Lloyd? Is this some kind of test? You know I'm as horny as the rest of the guys," Bugs said. He'd called the man 'Lloyd' instead of the required 'sir' that was supposed to end every sentence; he waited to see if there would be a reaction.

Lloyd ignored the boy's insubordination, he didn't like the rule anyway and besides, they were away from the camp. Taking Bugs with him was bending the rules but he thought the boy needed to see what he was missing out here in the real world.

Was it a test? Maybe, Lloyd thought, sure it was, and I've had my eye on him for a long time. He talks about girls but maybe that's just a front, all these boys tried to hide their inner selves he'd discovered, they had to. Wonder what he would do if he knew I was gay, would it bring him out?

The town of Hitchcock was really tiny, but they had a Dairy Queen on Main Street next to the firehouse. They parked next to the hardware store and walked inside. Lloyd grabbed a few boxes of flashlight batteries from a shelf beside the door and put them on the counter before wandering off to look for some nails. Bugs stopped at a carousel and started looking through the catalog of seed packets.

"Can I help you find something?" a small voice said and Bugs turned at the sound. The girl looked about fifteen and she had a nice smile beneath all that long red hair.

"Uh, I'm just here with Lloyd," Bugs replied.

"Well if you need to find something, you just let me know, my name's Molly," the girl said, batting her blue eyes at him.

The only experience he'd had with a girl was Joey's cousin. Bugs knew they were makin it every which way, Joey used to brag about it. His assessment at the time was that she was pretty and a bit simple, he'd been allowed to watch them having sex.

It had been a long time since he'd spoken to a girl and now Bugs couldn't take his eyes off this one, he had to say something before she walked away.

"Can you tell me ... " Bugs stammered. "Tell me what kinds of flowers do you like? I mean, what grows well this time of year?"

"Oh, well it's a little late for the spring flowers," Molly replied, "but you might consider planting some miniature sunflowers, they'll be up by August and they're so pretty. Do you live around here?"

"Oh no," Bugs said, "I'm just visiting, I come from Baltimore."

"I've never been there," Molly said, "is it nice?"

"Sometimes the fog will lift on a summer morning and you can see for miles across the harbor and out to the Chesapeake Bay," Bugs said, "that's when I like it best. I can imagine sailing on the Bay, but I've never been out on a boat. It would be such a rush to feel the breeze and watch the wind catch the sails. It would be like ... like I'm flying. You've never seen the Bay have you?"

"No, my daddy took me down to Deep Creek Lake once. I saw a sailboat there, but I've never been sailing either."

"You have to go sometime," Bugs said. "The air here in the mountains is really wonderful, but there's nothing like the smell of the breeze off the water, you can even taste salt in the air."

"Yes, it does sound wonderful, I'd really like to go," Molly said.

"Maybe sometime...maybe someday I could take you," Bugs blurted out.

Molly looked up at him, trying to see if there was some truth to his offer. Somehow their chemistry worked and she smiled, reaching out a hand and touching his arm.

"I'd like that, I think," she said. "What's your name?"

"Bugs," he said, "they call me Bugs, but my name is really Evan."

"Bugs, I like that name," Molly said, "Will I see you again?"

"Whenever I can get to town," Bugs said.

"We live upstairs," Molly said, pointing at the ceiling. "Please come by sometime."

She touched his arm again and then spun on her heel, gliding away down the aisle. Bugs rubbed his arm; it felt warm where she had touched him. He'd never felt this way about a girl before, she was so pretty with those deep green eyes. Strange feelings for a boy who'd only had male friends and lovers in his life; girls were a total mystery to him. But now he felt like he'd finally met one he wanted to know better.

"I think she likes you," Lloyd said from behind him and Bugs was startled from his reverie.

"Maybe, you think so?" Bugs asked. "Too bad we can never be friends."

Lloyd paid for the items and Bugs carried the heavy boxes of nails out to the truck. He leaned back against the seat and stared at the door to the hardware store, hoping for another glimpse, wishing Molly would be there looking out for him. Lloyd started the engine and pulled away from the curb, making a U-turn in the middle of the street. He drove up a block and turned into the Dairy Queen parking lot.

"Want a hot dog and a shake?" Lloyd asked, "My treat."

"OK," Bugs said. "Thank you, sir."

"You can call me Lloyd when we're not at camp, and I'll call you Bugs, is that alright?"

"Sure, Lloyd, I'd like that."

"She's very pretty, don't you think?" Lloyd asked.

"Yeah, but I probably won't get to see her again. I'm a jail bird," Bugs said.

"But you made her a promise, how did you plan on keeping it?" Lloyd asked.

"I dunno, guess I just got carried away. Damn, her eyes were so beautiful," Bugs said.

They sat in the truck and ate, the whole time Lloyd could almost hear the wheels turning in the boy's mind.

"Its twenty-three miles back to camp, Bugs. Too far for a boy like you to travel on foot. I don't know if that's what you're thinking, but if it is, well thinking like that will only get you in trouble. Let me work on it, maybe we can figure something out."

"Why would you help me?" Bugs asked.

"Because I want to and maybe because I think you need a good reason to get your act together," Lloyd said. "Despite what you think of us, most of the counselors really want to help. But it takes cooperation from both sides you know."

"I'm sorry," Bugs said, "I had the wrong idea about you, I feel pretty stupid."

"What did you expect?" Lloyd asked.

"I thought ... I thought you wanted ... it doesn't matter," Bugs said. "I thought that's why you were being so nice today, so's I would sleep with you."

"Boy, I didn't know I was that obvious," Lloyd said, "So you know I'm gay?"

"You are? No, I didn't, but it doesn't matter. I don't think I want to go there anymore," Bugs said.

"It might surprise you, but I'm already in a very nice relationship and I wasn't trying to get in your pants. I did think you might be gay because of your history, and if that had turned out to be true then I thought you might open up to me. Boy, we're both pretty stupid today," Lloyd laughed.

"Oh man, I'm sorry, did I offend you?" Bugs asked.

"No, not at all," Lloyd said. "But look at me; here I am trying to run a dating service for you. I like you, Bugs, you're a handsome devil but I couldn't sleep with you if I wanted to. Sex is not the answer to us liking each other you know, I think you'd be better off with Molly."

"Yeah, she's real nice," Bugs said. "I never felt this way about a girl before; I don't know what to say to her. But thanks, Lloyd ... thanks for bringing me in town with you today."

"You're welcome, Bugs. So no more fighting, ok?"

"Yes sir," Bugs said.

Now that Lloyd had found the right carrot to dangle in front of Bugs, he used it to change the boy's attitude around camp, and more than once found a reason to take the boy with him into town a few times each month.

Bugs spent that precious time with Molly and their friendship blossomed. Maybe he'll be ready to leave this fall, Lloyd thought. And with that in mind he began to set those wheels in motion.

Paul was glad this particular day had dawned bright and sunny, mirroring his disposition as he ran laps behind the high school. So many events had occurred in his life the past three years, so very much to be thankful for, he thought.

It wasn't political success that occupied his mind this morning; he knew that had been the product of hard work by a multitude of people. No, today was Robby's graduation day and the boy's efforts had produced the pride now swelling in his heart as he sprinted for the last lap.

Who could even have guessed that this kid from the streets would have made it this far? Paul felt satisfied that somehow he had created a desire in Robby to succeed, chasing his dreams and capturing them one by one. God, I love a winner, Paul thought, it makes him so easy to love.

He laughed now, feeling the burn in his lungs and recalling a night, almost a year ago, when Robby had felt the need to confess, exposing his sexual escapades with Jeremy and begging Paul's forgiveness.

But Jeremy was something Paul had already figured out and accepted as inevitable. Robby needed to find a means of expressing his gay self at school, and the cute young guy was already at hand. They were both novices in the gay world.

Then it happened, Jeremy met a boy during summer break and the fling was over, Robby came home for consolation. Ahh sweet youth, the wounds so mortal yet the flower still blooms to perfection, Paul recalled the moment so well.

But now it was time to prepare for the day's events and then bring Robby home for a while. The past six months, Paul had been thinking about this summer and how it would become a time of transition, making life changes for them both. Just like several months before, on Robby's eighteenth birthday.

They had gone out to dinner at a swank Capitol Hill restaurant to celebrate, the crowd a pleasant mix of gay and straight around them. Without a word of warning, waiters appeared with a birthday cake and the room exploded with applause. Paul thought Robby would crawl under the table with embarrassment. But no, instead the young man stood to the applause, bowed and tapped his glass with a spoon to command silence.

"Ladies and gentleman," Robby said, "it gives me great pleasure to be here tonight and to finally accept the possibility that I am no longer a child but a man in the eyes of most civilized societies in the world. But tonight I ask your indulgence in recognizing not only my birthday, but the reason birthdays are so special to me now. This may give some of you pause, but I give you a toast to love and the man who owns my heart."

He leaned over and kissed Paul full on the lips and they could hear a buzz begin to go round the room, what was this? But there were also those here who knew full well about Paul and his young protégé. It was these stalwart men and women who then stood, glasses raised for a toast to the love Robby had declared to the world. In the end about half the room joined in, the rest would likely go to hell as soon as possible anyway.

Without a doubt Robby worked his own brand of magic on the world, and in the end Paul decided it would be his fortunate place to stand back and admire the young wizard at work. Today is not likely to be an exception, Paul thought as he shaved and showered. In fact this was likely to be the debut of their love affair before the entire school and the media.

John had warned him that at least one Senator would be in attendance at the ceremony and that would draw at least some form of coverage by the news. There had also been a few well phrased comments about how Robby just might out their relationship to further his crusade for gay and lesbian students. Paul could only smile and laugh, hoping John wouldn't misunderstand, he couldn't control the boy's politics.

"Well don't be surprised if Robby brings you up in his speech," John had warned.

"Speech?" Paul said, "He's giving a speech? I didn't know about that."

"The students voted for him to give the Statement of Truth speech, and by our tradition he gets to address the graduates on a topic of his choice. I guess I've known this would give him a platform for his, ahh, slightly radical agenda. But what the hell, Moorewood will survive. I just hope it doesn't put you in an awkward position, Paul."

"I think I'm beyond that point already," Paul said, "but I trust him. Do you want me to talk to him about it, maybe get him to tone things down?"

"No, never," John said, "I wouldn't if I were in his shoes. I think he may raise a few eyebrows but then that's the point of telling the truth now, isn't it? He's got a good head on his shoulders; I expect we'll all learn something. Have you been following the articles in his paper?"

"You mean the series on teen suicide?" Paul asked.

"Yes, quite dramatic," John said. "I've been meaning to tell you, I got a call from the Washington Post, they want to do a story on the school because of Robby and his friends. I never thought that their little paper would garnish so much attention, it's been wonderful for us."

"You can't fool me, John. I know you'll be relieved when they all graduate. Maybe you've had enough of the radical gay element on campus for a while," Paul suggested.

"Don't misunderstand me," John said, "we thrive on the energy student's put into their activities here on campus. The G & L Club has been a good example of fairness and leadership for the other students, but maybe it's time we stopped making headlines for a while. Some of the parents are grumbling that Robby's group is stealing all the thunder around here. But I'm glad they did it so very well and with such style."

Paul could only agree, it had been a difficult year. The student protests at the Senate Office Building, the march in Washington by the ACTUP organization, followed by the arrests of Robby and fourteen other Moorewood students at a sit in on Capitol Hill.

The papers had all been wondering just what John was breeding out there in the quiet countryside. They had called Moorewood a haven for gay radicalism and for once they had been correct.

"You know," John continued, "I remember very well all those anti-war demonstrations in the sixties, I was there. These kids are acting out just like we did back then, but peaceful protests and media attention won't solve the problems they face today.

"We have to let them try so they can find out what will work for them. Knowledge comes to us in the strangest ways, and heaven knows education isn't an exact science. When I see a student like Robby learning from his mistakes and take a step above the rest to reach his goals, then I know we're doing the right thing."

"Thanks, John. He couldn't have done it without your support," Paul said.

"True, but don't quote me on that, ok? Lord knows the papers have enough to print about us without labeling the headmaster as a hippie radical from the sixties."

"Your secret is safe with me," Paul said.

That conversation had only enforced his admiration for the man and the hard task he would always face in the uphill battle to bring quality education to the lives of his students. Paul felt that his own efforts for the school in the past several years had supported John's goals.

The new computer lab he had funded was a model for higher education that he couldn't even get the damn county to grasp for its own public school system. And in his own way, Robby had garnished a great deal of publicity for the school, so much so that the waiting list for enrollment was miles long, securing their future for the duration.

Glancing at the bedside clock, Paul realized that he'd been daydreaming much too long, it was time to go and face the music, no matter what tune Robby was planning to orchestrate today.

The gymnasium was packed when he arrived and Paul was certain he'd have to stand in the back for the whole ceremony. He walked through the doors and stood in the glare of the overhead lights, scanning the mass of people for a likely perch to view the proceedings. A quiet Brahms melody drifted around the hall from the sound system and seemed to create a mood of solemnity in the gathering.

"Mr. Saunders? Hi, remember me?"

"Certainly, Jeremy, how could I forget you?" Paul replied to the boy who approached him.

"We saved you a seat at the front," Jeremy said, "Robby wanted you to be up close."

"I'm sure he does," Paul said. "I'm probably gonna regret it too, don't you think?"

"No sir, I think we'll all be proud today," Jeremy assured him.

Paul was shown to a seat next to Bob in the front row. He barely had a chance to exchange a few words of greeting with his friend before John took the podium. The crowd slowly became quiet and Paul glanced around the room, recognizing Senator Jenkins sitting in the front row on the other side of the gym.

The Republican's daughter was the biggest straight arrow in Moorewood, and despite his conservative views the Senator knew the school was the best place for his kid. He wasn't alone, the other three hundred parents and families that filled this room today knew the same thing.

Paul saw a television crew set up in the far corner and several photographers standing around the fringes of the crowd, this would be quite a well-documented event for the media. It only remained to be seen if this small event became something big on the six o'clock news.

"Good Morning," John began his introduction. "Today we celebrate the beginning of a new chapter in the short history of Moorewood. As I have told the last four graduating classes, this is only the first step in attaining the knowledge that will guide you into a successful future in life.

"The four years of high school here are only a training camp for the struggle of Olympic proportions you all face in college and beyond. The faculty and staff of Moorewood are only the coaches and trainers for the race that you will surely run in college. I'm happy to announce that all sixty-three graduates have been accepted to the universities of their choice, seventeen of them on either partial or full scholarships because of academic achievement."

The applause that greeted this announcement gave John a chance to regain his composure, and Paul realized that the man wasn't getting any younger. Headmasters had the weight of student's lives on their shoulders, a grave responsibility that must wear them down.

"We founded this school on the principle that quality education is the right and responsibility of every parent for the betterment of their children and society. For the faculty and myself I must thank the parents of this graduating class for the honor and trust you have placed in us for the pursuit of that goal. Your children have worked hard for their achievement and made all our lives richer for the experience.

"As always we will begin again with a new freshman class this fall, attempting to mold their lives in the same honored tradition as those who come before us today in triumph. And now, Ladies and Gentleman ... I give you the graduating class of Moorewood, the Class of 1986."

A chorus of students sang an anthem as the sixty-three graduates filed into the gym. There were no caps and gowns in this ceremony, each student being allowed his individuality, and yet they presented an image of one being, a class above those who would remain behind to continue the struggle John had spoken about.

Robby was last in line and would be the first to speak, he looked stunning in the dark blue suit he had chosen, his long blonde hair tied back and hanging to the middle of his back. Paul had asked if he would cut his hair for the ceremony and Robby had laughed, he had grown it longer because Paul kept telling him how lovely it looked.

The cameras snapped away and Paul could see the television camera following the boy as he stepped to the podium. All he could think of at the moment was that Robby should give them his best, just as he knew the boy would. Robby glanced down at him and smiled as the chorus ended its song of welcome and the crowd settled down, it was time to begin.

"Good Morning to you all from the Class of 1986," Robby began. "We would like to welcome our honored guests, Senator Jenkins and Mrs. Jenkins, Councilman Saunders and the parents of all the students who attend with us today.

"We would also like to give special thanks to the entire faculty and staff of Moorewood who are here today, without them we would be nothing except empty vessels without knowledge or goals for the future. We must also give thanks to a special man, Dr. John Foxwell, the guiding light to our educational journey here at Moorewood. Thank you, John, for my fellow graduates and myself, we love you dearly and will miss you greatly.

"Let me begin by telling you that all the people I hold dear in my life are sitting here today, except for one. He couldn't be here today, he died almost three years ago and his name was Brian Bookbinder.

"I stood by his hospital bed watching him die from the modern plague we call AIDS. His death was the beginning of my new life, the life you see before you today. Because in our sadness my friends and I scattered his ashes across the windy sea and I made Brian a promise. I promised that his death would have meaning because I would go on living, carrying his life force within me until we have ended that scourge which took him from us.

"I cannot tell you of the horrors we will all face in the coming years. I'm not a prophet of doom. It's not difficult to love a sick child, but it's difficult to love yourself after that child has died. It's difficult because there is a greater sickness associated with this disease and yet we fail to recognize it.

"There is a pervasive sense of discrimination in this country towards those who have AIDS and that is the first sickness we must cure if we are to ever succeed in stopping this plague. Who among us would turn their backs on a sick child in our own family? And yet there are children out there who have been shunned by their parents, their neighbors and their communities because they have AIDS. I am speaking of men and women, young and old who have been turned out from their homes, their families, their jobs and their schools because they are gay and have a disease.

"Many see this as a moral question and ignore the fact that it is nothing more than a human issue which affects us all. If in your heart you see this as a gay disease then you are a part of the sickness that needs curing. Go tell the young kids who contracted this disease from a blood transfusion that they are part of a gay disease. Look in their faces and tell them they are less than the happy and fortunate children you see here today, I know you could not. And yet we suffer these children, condemn them and wish they would disappear because they don't fit into our excuse for ignoring this disease.

"I would praise the special people who have taken on the challenge of finding a cure for AIDS. There are many fine doctors and nurses, in hospitals and clinics across America and the world, which face these issues every day. They lack the resources and funding because their citizens and politicians don't see the necessity. But soon I hope the voices of reason will lash out at the lack of responsible leadership. And I hope for all our sakes it doesn't come too late.

"In Europe, during what we now call The Dark Ages, a plague swept and ravaged the many nations. We all know now the disease was transmitted by vermin and that only by burning and destroying the habitats in which these rodents lived were they able to bring the disease under control. But in the beginning the gentry and their families were unaffected, their homes clean and free of infestation, and they did not care for the sick because it didn't touch them where they live.

"We have much the same problem today, AIDS doesn't seem to touch the wealthy and the powerful who decide where our money is spent. I said I wasn't a prophet but I will make a simple prediction, they're very wrong, it will touch their lives and very soon.

"We as citizens of this nation have a mighty quandary before us and some hard choices to make. Do we wait for the disease to spread to the sons and daughters of the rich and powerful, or do we face these issues now? There is no place to hide in this debate, its right there, staring you in the face and screaming for relief.

"Can you truly say your children won't be affected? Do you really believe that by some miracle they won't be exposed through sexual contact or on the operating table? What if the disease mutates and becomes airborne? Are you willing to wait and see if that happens?

"The real question for us here today is, are we ready to start doing something about AIDS? In the past three years a large number of organizations have begun to reach out to America and begin the healing process. AIDS clinics and educational groups are only a phone call away to help us understand the disease; suppressing our fears with important information and good scientific knowledge.

"It may be hard for you to understand, but our government is far behind those private institutions who are seeking a cure, and that needs to change. You are that change, right here and right now. Protect your family and seek the help you need to save your children or suffer the consequences as you languish in your castle and watch the disease take your loved ones.

"Several years ago I met a great human being, a doctor whose life has been focused on this problem from a different angle. He knows that each patient he takes into his clinic is doomed to die and yet he serves each of them with dignity and respect. There are no judgments passed, no reminders that they may have caught the disease through their own impetuous acts.

"Is it moral to condemn the sinner and then not forgive him the sin? Should we kick a child after he falls and say it's his own fault? What has happened to our humanity, our love for our fellow man? For a gay doctor to serve his own people, his human family, is the greatest act of love I can imagine.

"I would be like him, and I shall, because my hopes and aspirations are as great as his to see the end of this new Dark Age we are suffering. It is not enough that I declare my sexual preference and then stand by as my gay brothers and sisters stumble and fall. We each have to do our part, gay and straight, to assure that enough intervention, care and treatment reaches out to all levels of our society. The consequences are too horrible to contemplate if we do nothing but watch our children die knowing that we could lift a hand to save them.

"Look at the faces around you, the eager faces of children who have the right to a life free from fear, and know you have the power to give them that life. Moorewood is all about life and preparing kids for a successful future. These halls echo with the laughter of friendships made and hopes shared. Who among us would not wish these grand feelings to be held dear for life and be shared with the ones we love?

"It's time we gave back some of the love we garnered so easily here at Moorewood and share it with our fellow man. None of us wants to hear the laughter stilled or the love replaced with a great sadness for the loss of those things we hold dearest.

"We are the future, we are the next wave of humanity, and we are the inheritors of the nation you leave to us. Why jeopardize our chances when the answers are there before you? Show us your love now by acting to save us from the plague that could surely decimate mankind. Give us this advantage so future children might walk through Fenster Hall and share their laughter with their friends and learn to love their fellow students just as we have.

"I would ask that you join me in a moment of silent contemplation for the thousands who have died and the many thousands who are sick. So many lives will end before we join together and see this is a threat to our common humanity and not just a selective disease that kills only those we choose to hate."

The silence in the room was like a giant void, as if each person collectively held their breath to see how the others would react. Robby stood at the podium, his head bowed and Paul could not take his eyes off the boy's face.

It was as if he were seeing Robby for the first time, the man emerging from a cocoon of childhood and spreading his wings in the winds of destiny. The speech had been awesome and there were more than a few tears shared among the faces in the crowd, Paul's included. The minute stretched out and Paul finally heard Robby sigh.

"Thank you," Robby said. His voice was choked with emotion and Paul thought he might falter. Then the applause began.

It wasn't just the students of his class who stood and applauded, the crowd seemed to surge to its feet and the gym reverberated with their sound. Jeremy was the first to give Robby a hug and the kids all cheered. John looked over at him and Paul knew the poor guy would have a hard time following this act.

In time the crowd settled down, they were really here to see the diplomas handed out. He and Bob both watched with pride as Robby stepped up in turn and took his piece of parchment. The chorus sang and John bid farewell to his charges who sat behind him, waiting in anticipation for the end of the ceremony. Sixty-three faces beamed out at the crowd, each clutching their passport from high school to the bigger world beyond.

Paul caught Robby staring his way and they smiled at each other, sharing secrets of the heart that others could only guess. Then it was done, the final verses sung and the final words uttered, chaos ensued.

Robby leapt off the platform and into Paul's arms.

"Did you like my speech, it took me a whole week to write," He babbled, "I changed it several times, did you really like it?"

"I loved every word," Paul said, "you put your heart in it and we all know it."

"Well here it is," Robby said, handing Paul the diploma and looking affectionately at Bob. "I couldn't have done it without you, both of you."

He had to include Bob, after all this man had started the whole thing by taking him in off the streets. Robby gave the older man a great big hug and they all laughed with joy as Paul opened the diploma. But it was at this moment that another presence made itself felt.

"Excuse me, mind if I interrupt?" Senator Jenkins said.

"Not at all, Senator," Paul said, "we'll be carrying on like this for days."

"It's a proud day for all of us," the Senator replied, and then he looked at Robby. "I enjoyed your speech, young man, good wordsmiths are hard to find these days."

"Thank you, sir," Robby said.

"If you don't mind, can I have a few words with this young man?" the Senator asked.

"Certainly," Paul said, "I think we'd be honored."

The Senator led Robby to the side of the stage and the crowd parted as they stood there, giving them room for the chat. Paul watched as the boy listened carefully to the words that were said his way, nodding now and then and offering a few remarks of his own.

The talk lasted for about five minutes and ended abruptly when Robby reached out and gave the Senator a hug, the man responded by gripping the boy in return. Paul was amazed at this display, here in front of this crowd but Robby's face glowed with warmth and the two smiled at each other.

The Senator gave Paul a wave and then he was joined by his wife and daughter as he walked out the side door to the reception.

"I suppose you're dying to know what that was all about," Robby said on his return, "But I'm sure this is meant to be kept confidential."

"I'll remember nothing," Bob said.

"The Senator has a gay nephew who's contracted AIDS," Robby said. "He's scared for the boy and probably for himself should this ever get out. I think my speech touched him someplace deep inside, as it was meant to. Maybe we'll have a secret friend in Washington now, Paul. I think the poor guy is just so overwhelmed by his politics, all the hate and mistrust, what a shame."

"It's happening just like you said, when their families get sick they'll come looking for answers," Paul said.

"And so it begins," Bob replied. "Anyone for punch and cake?"

It had been a long week of hot, muggy days strung together by such absolute boredom that Bugs wished it would rain if only to break the monotony. He was perched a hundred and some feet above the forest floor in a long needle pine, high enough to see above the canopy of hardwoods all the way across the valley between the mountains.

He knew that when darkness descended he would be able to see Hitchcock, or at least the twinkle of their streetlights glowing dimly in the far distance. Molly, he'd thought of nothing else this past week and cursed his luck at not being able to see her. It wasn't his fault; Lloyd had taken a week off by telling everyone his sister had to go in for knee surgery.

Bugs knew he meant Tom, the long term lover who was closest to Lloyd's heart. The men had gone rock climbing in the Savage River forest two weeks before and Tom had fallen, the prognosis wasn't good, he might not be able to walk again.

Bugs heard the dinner bell clanging back at the camp, but he wasn't interested in food right now, only Molly. He rubbed the back of his sweat soaked T-shirt against the rough bark of the tree to get comfortable. He'd been up here many times before, this limb had become his refuge from the heartache, and this wonderful tree gave him a link to her world.

He'd last seen her eight days ago, the day she'd stolen his heart. They had gone out back to the shed behind the store to see a clutch of newly hatched chicks while Lloyd entertained her Pa. The cute little downy hatchlings had made Molly laugh and Bugs drank in the sweetness of the moment, wishing things could always be like this between them.

She had clutched one of the fuzzy creatures while gazing up into his eyes and Bugs felt her warmth and tenderness touch him. Then she had kissed him, her soft lips touching his for only a tiny measure of time but it was electric and unforgettable.

Bugs had taken the chick from her hands and placed it gently back in the box before kissing her back. Molly had held him close as her lips parted to allow their tongues to meet and entwine. Bugs' body reacted and Molly gasped as she felt his hardness swell up between them. She put her hands on his chest pushed him away.

"Oh my," Molly said, and Bugs blushed a dozen shades of red in his embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't control myself," Bugs said.

"I have two brothers," Molly said, "but I never ... does it hurt when it gets like that?"

"No," Bugs said, he was squirming now, his embarrassment deepening.

"Good. I don't want to hurt you, Bugs. Someday maybe we can, you know, when I'm ready."

She had felled him with that comment, chopped him down like a massive pine with a double-bladed ax. Bugs knew right then they were bound together heart and soul. He'd never felt this way about anyone before and he was sure she felt the same.

The sun was dipping below the mountains to the west and from his vantage point he caught the first twinkle of light from Hitchcock. He imagined it might be Molly turning on a lamp beside her bed.

High above the forest floor he closed his eyes and gave in to the yearnings of his body, wishing she could be a part of the rapture and praying for his sake she would get the chance to keep her promise.

Lloyd came back on a Thursday morning and found his hut swept and neat, there was even a bouquet of fresh flowers on the table. He smiled, Bugs surely wanted something from him and there was no doubt in his mind what that could be.

He hadn't told the boy the whole truth about his trip to Baltimore; he'd been to see a certain judge. The man had listened patiently to Lloyd's report and they had smiled together. Something had definitely changed the boy's life for the better but only Lloyd knew who that something was.

Bugs would soon be eighteen and Lloyd felt it was time for him to rejoin society and get on with life. The judge had agreed to release the boy from camp and appointed Lloyd as guardian for the court. Now all that remained was to find him a proper home and Lloyd already had a wonderful idea.

The myriad of valleys tucked between the mountains of Western Maryland were a patchwork quilt of family farms. These hills had once been a part of the vast primeval forest that covered North America since the dawn of time. Through the persistence and determination of generations, the mighty trees had been cleared away. These fields and pasturelands clung to the gentle slopes, allowing a determined few to make a living here.

Hitchcock lay a few dozen miles from the Ohio border, serving the region with its shops and supply stores. Lloyd had enjoyed spending hours soaking up the rural flavor here, communing with the locals down at the feed store and even attending the occasional church social. He felt it was part of his duty as a gay man to present himself as a normal part of this community even if the locals had no clue to his orientation. Someday he was sure he and Tom would carve out a little place for themselves in these mountains and then it would all pay off.

The Mitchell's farm was due north of town and Bret Mitchell often stopped to talk with Lloyd when they met up in town. Bret's family had been farming for eight generations on the same plot of land, raising corn and cows to provide the local dairy with the finest milk in Garrett County.

Lloyd knew from their casual conversation that Bret's oldest boy was going off to college this fall and he had bemoaned the loss of a prime farm hand. He thought maybe, just maybe, Bret would like the opportunity to take on a strong young boy for room and board, it was worth a try.

Lloyd took Bugs in town to see Molly on Saturday morning and swung out towards the diner to track down the head of the Mitchell clan. Bret was occupying his usual stool at the end of the counter and Lloyd had to shoo off several other men before he could have a private conversation.

"All right, Lloyd, now you've chased off my best lead on a new heifer in three months, so you better have a good reason," Bret scolded.

"Look, I'm sorry, Brett, but we're talkin about a young man's future here and I just need a few minutes of your time."

"Right, go on," Bret said.

"You told me you needed some help on the farm with your boy goin off to school, I have just the man for you," Lloyd said.

"Is this one of your junior jailbirds? Lloyd, you know I don't want any trouble with you folks up there on the mountain."

"This one's different, Bret. He's the most awesome worker you've ever seen. I'll bet he can stack a barn full of hay in half a day, he's incredibly strong," Lloyd said.

"So why are you tryin so hard to get this boy a job?"

"Cause he's had a lousy life and no one I know deserves a break more than this kid does right now. He's eighteen, strong as an ox, damn smart too. Give him a try, if it doesn't work out I'll take him back," Lloyd said.

"Does he know anything about farming?"

"No, he's a city kid. But I've had him for almost two years now, best damn cutter we have, he learns fast," Lloyd said, "Won't you give him a try, please?"

"Damn Lloyd, you really work hard don't ya?" Bret laughed. "Ok, let's give him a shot. He ain't gonna like it for a while, ya know, he's gotta do all the shit work."

"He'll love it, trust me. He's got a thing going with Molly Beeson and I think its love."

"Oh Lord," Bret said, "Does Jake know? She's only about sixteen, ain't she? But you're right; love makes a man do strange things. I'll take him to church; he can see the girl there in a proper kind of atmosphere."

"You do that and he'll be your man all the way. Thanks, Bret, thanks for trying him out," Lloyd said.

"You bring the boy out to the farm on Monday mornin, gonna have a couple of calves dropping down by then and I could use the help," Bret said. "You better hope he works out Lloyd, I won't be made a fool of."

"You're no fool, just a wise old man with a soft heart," Lloyd kidded.

He couldn't wait to tell Bugs the good news, but decided to hold off until he could extract a promise of good behavior from the boy. After all, it was his neck that was stretched out here and Bugs needed to recognize that fact.

He found the boy sitting with Molly on a pile of seed bags in front of the store. They looked just like two kids in love.

"Hello, Molly," Lloyd said, "I gotta see your Pa about some supplies but then we'll have to take off."

"Ok, Lloyd," Molly replied, "anything I can help you with?"

"Naw, you kids enjoy your time together. Bugs will see you in church next Sunday, he's gonna have to start going or your Pa won't let him marry you," Lloyd said.

Predictably, Bugs was embarrassed but Molly understood and she smiled.

"Thanks Lloyd, he does need a little church goin to smooth out some of those rough edges," she said.

Lloyd took about an hour to take care of some camp business but then he found the two kids in the same place when he came out. Reluctantly Bugs said good bye to the girl and she stood watching as they drove away. Now I'm gonna get it, Lloyd thought.

"What the hell was that marriage stuff all about, I ain't goin to church on any Sunday," Bugs said.

"You will if you want to keep Molly as your girl," Lloyd said. "What a small price to pay for such a beautiful creature, don't you agree?"

"Oh man, you aren't kidding are you? You know I'd do anything for her, is that the trick?" Bugs said.

Lloyd pulled over to the side of the road; maybe it was time to extract that promise.

"Ok, I haven't been totally honest with you," Lloyd began. "I went to Baltimore for Tom's surgery but I also had another reason, I went to see your judge. Now before I say any more I need a serious answer from you, the question is vital for your future. I want you to promise me that you won't attempt to run away, you won't try to OD on anything and you won't lay a finger on Molly unless she gives you permission. Do I have that promise?"

"Uh, yes, I won't make any trouble. What's this all about?"

"The judge has set you free. I'm your probation officer now and I've already found you a job and a place to live near here. The work is a killer, farm life isn't meant to be easy, but the people are good and they'll take you in. The best part is you'll be able to see Molly all the time in church and maybe afterwards. I made a promise to help you out and here it is, so don't blow it or we'll both take a fall."

Bugs sat stunned, he wasn't a jailbird any more and he could still have Molly. He hadn't shed a tear in a long time but they welled up in his eyes now and he threw his arms around Lloyd and hugged the man nearly to death.

Sometimes these things work out just fine, Lloyd thought, and this is one of those times. Bugs' emotions were genuine and touching, he had to be relieved and happy to walk away from incarceration. God, the poor kid had wasted so many years of his life in this mess, maybe now he can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

He hugged the kid back and let the boy's emotions drain. Finally Bugs let go and sat back, wiping his cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Thank you, Lloyd. I know you had to trust me for this to happen and I won't let you down. Oh God, it's really over? When do I leave?"

"I'll drive you over to the farm on Monday so you'll have time to say good bye to the other kids at camp before you go," Lloyd said.

"Good thing you're a married man, I wanna kiss you so bad right now, how can I ever thank you?" Bugs said.

"Just do your best, that's all I could ever ask. Think before you act and try not to be angry. We'll see each other a couple times a month and we'll talk, ok? You've had a pretty rough ride from life but it's finally time to put all that behind. Take this chance for yourself and maybe a certain young lady. Just be kind to yourself, learn to love and share it with others. That's all you need to succeed in life."

"I think maybe I love you too," Bugs said. "I haven't said that to a man before because I thought it was too weird. Now I think it's all right to love a guy, especially when he's as helpful and kind as you."

"You're right, love doesn't have to be physical," Lloyd said. "I think the best way you can love me is to love yourself, that's all I've ever wanted from you."

"You know, I think everything is gonna be just fine," Bugs said. "What more can a guy ask for?"

It was two weeks later, a quiet Wednesday evening when Lloyd parked the truck in front of the hardware store. He could hear music coming from upstairs as he climbed the steps and knocked on the door.

Bret had called him earlier this afternoon and told him to be at Molly's promptly at seven or miss all the fun. The door opened on a room full of people, the birthday party was in full swing and the guest of honor looked more than a little embarrassed at all the fuss.

Eighteen is a mighty fine age, Lloyd remembered his father telling him, almost a man and young enough to appreciate it. Bugs' face lit up when he saw Lloyd enter the room and rushed to shake his hand.

"Isn't this great, I didn't know Molly had planned a party, what a little sneak," Bugs said.

"Well congratulations, birthday boy," Lloyd said. "How's it been going?"

"Great, Mr. Mitchell is a good teacher. I milk the cows now and do lots of chores around the place, except when he makes me do my homework. You were right, it's hard, but I love it," Bugs said. "I even get to sit next to Molly in church, that makes it ok for me."

"I think she's lookin for you right now," Lloyd said, "never keep a good woman waiting, kiddo."

As Bugs walked away Bret put his hand on Lloyd's shoulder. "You know, I sure am glad we had that talk," Bret said. "He's really workin out well. Like you said too, he's willing and able to learn just about anything. Thanks, Lloyd, are you comin to supper this Friday?"

"Didn't know I was invited," Lloyd said.

"Well on Friday we always invite close friends to our barbecue, I'd be proud to have you join us," Bret said. "I know Bugs and Molly would like to see you there, they make a cute couple, she's real proud of him."

"I'm proud of him too; wish I could do the same for the other fifty boys. I always had faith in him somehow. So, when do we get to eat


On to The Epilogue

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"Whistler's Club" Copyright © 2010 by Chris James. All rights reserved.
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