"We're gonna sing 'Strong Enough To Break.' Then we're gonna take some questions, and then we're outta here," Ike exclaimed as we sat off to the side of the TRL studio.

"Seems smaller this time," I muttered.

"Huh?" Tay asked.

My mind stung with pain again. I remembered being in the front row, I remembered Ananda asking me questions. Which didn't make any sense, because Ananda wasn't on MTV hardly at all anymore. Actually I think she quit a while ago. I shook my head.

"You ok?" Tay asked as he hugged me.

"Just another flash," I sighed.

"I'm sorry," he frowned.

"I'll be ok," I forced the smile. The last thing I wanted was to be on his mind when he had to perform.

I rested my head against the back of the sofa. My brain hurt.

"Just close your eyes and relax, we've got another ten or so minutes before we, I mean me Ike and Zac have to go out there," Tay said with a strange look suddenly washing over his face.

"That means I won't have to go out there this time, right?" I asked confused.

"Yeah," Tay replied with an equally confused look on his face.

"This is driving me insane," I sighed as I closed my eyes again.

My mind drifted off. Visions of Total Request Live pulsed through my mind. I felt wet, and cold, I saw rain streaked windows. A crowd was chanting Taylor's name. I felt myself standing on wet pavement as I looked at Taylor's wet frame moving towards me through police officers. I threw myself at him and wrapped my arms around him. Wincing as my knees struck the pavement as I dropped to his waist hugging him, crying.

"Babe," I heard his voice whisper softly.

"Babe, wake up," my eyes flashed open. Tears fogging my vision.

"Huh?" I asked suddenly confused.

"Come on, we're going," he smiled as he nuzzled my nose.

"Going," I asked confused.

"Yeah, you slept right through the entire thing," he smirked.

"Oh, no," I sat up with a pained expression.

"It's ok," he smiled.

"But," I started to object.

"Dude, you've been with us at every concert, you didn't miss anything," Zac laughed quietly as he gave me a tug and pulled me up to my feet.

"Unless you consider those girls flirting with Taylor something," Ike laughed as he threw on his coat.

"Oh," I mumbled to myself.

"Come on, we have to get to the airport, it's four now, and we perform at eight," Ike said as he tossed me my coat.

"Yeah, ok," I said quietly as I walked beside Taylor.

"Something the matter," he asked.

"No," I lied.

Something was starting to take form, I was remembering more easily, only my head seemed to be exploding in pain.

"You're lying," he said quietly without looking at me.

"Alright, yeah, I'm lying, Taylor my brain feels like it's about to explode, I can hardly see straight," I muttered as I squinted my eyes shut. The white flashes of searing pain darting through my temples. I realized I staggered.

"Shit," Tay gasped as I felt him grab my arm.

*          *          *          *          *

"Hey, um, I know this is weird but, is Will on any kind of medication?" I asked quietly as he sat in the back of the van.

"Not that I know of, Zac what's wrong?" Daph asked over the crackle of the cell phone.

"He's getting really, sick or something," I muttered trying not to draw any attention from mom or dad.

"Sick, like throwing up sick?" she asked.

"No like, sick headache, like he's dizzy, and he doesn't feel good, he says his brain feels like it's going to explode."

"Oh, actually yeah he has had that before, but I can't remember when the first time was. All I know is it's been more recently than it used to be," she replied.

"Did he ever take anything for it?" I asked glancing back. His eyes were shut, his forehead was covered in sweat.

"No, he said that it would pass after a little bit."

"Well he's been like this, constantly, Taylor says since the other day when he passed out in Atlanta."

"Shit, well I don't know what to tell you," Daphne replied with a sigh.

"Well, I'll let you finish getting ready, meet us at the gate at five fifteen," I replied.

"Alright, tell him to hang in there, I'll be there soon," she said quietly.

"Will do babe, take care," I smiled as I hung up.

I glanced back. His eyes were still shut, but his eyebrows were pinched together. Taylor was fanning him with his hand.

"Is he going to be ok sweetie," mom asked over her shoulder.

"Yeah, Daphne said he has these little things every now and then and they pass," I replied not looking back at her.

"He's coming with us," Tay called out from the back.

"I didn't say he wasn't I just hope he looks a little better than this when we meet up with Jammer, otherwise he's gonna throw a fit," mom sighed as she glanced over at dad.

*          *          *          *          *

"Shit," Daph muttered as she walked up.

"Uh, no already did," I smirked trying to make her laugh.

"Eh, ok," she smirked shaking her head as she walked over to Will.

"Babe," she whispered as he looked up.

"Babe," she almost gasped as she saw his eyes.

"Yeah," he muttered his voice scratchy.

"Oh man," she whispered in shock as she hugged him.

I watched her look over at Taylor, her eyes were wide.

"I'll be ok," he muttered into her hair.

"Honey, let me talk to Tay for a moment," she smiled as she ran her hand across his cheek.

"Ok," he sighed as he closed his eyes.

Tay and Daph stepped away from Will, I decided it'd be best to follow.

"Has he had any sleep?" she asked almost sounding like an angry mother.

"Yes, oh my God yes," Tay gasped.

"Then why does it look like someone punched him in both eyes, they are so dark?" she asked in shock.

"I don't know, they didn't look that bad this morning," Tay defended.

"Actually, he's right, Will didn't start to look this shitty until like this afternoon on the way to TRL," I replied.

"Taylor, you do realize he's shaking slightly?" she asked.

"Yeah," he muttered.

"He's shaking?" I asked suddenly.

"Yeah, he's like trembling, you can't tell unless you hold him," Tay whispered.

"Dude," I whispered as I looked over at him.

Daph and Tay turned and looked.

Will's eyes were shut, but you could see that his eyeballs were rolling around really wild underneath. His mouth was moving, like he was talking and his eyebrows would bunch up and relax over and over. His hands were shaking really bad, as well as his legs.

"Is he," I started.

"He's been doing that too," Tay frowned.

"You have to take him somewhere," Daphne started.

"No, I can't, if I do he'll get mad at me, he I mean, I, we've been," Tay stuttered looking confused, yet at the same time scared.

"What is it?" Daph asked quietly.

"We've been having some bad episodes with our memory," Tay sighed quietly looking down at his feet.

"Huh?" Daph asked confused, but I already knew what he was talking about.

"We can't remember things, fully but we, we like, ok it's like something happened to us, and we can barely remember it, but when we start to, our heads really hurt," he tried to explain.

"Dude, I know," I said suddenly.

"You," Tay started looking up at me surprised.

"It's happening to me too, only I've not had that kind of reaction," I said motioning towards Will.

"Oh man, why didn't you say anything, all this time we thought it was just us," Tay almost blurted out loud.

"Shh, man quiet down, I thought I was mental or something," I growled.

"Guys, come on, we're boarding," Ike said walking over.

*          *          *          *          *

"Come on sweetie," Tay whispered as he helped Will stand up.

"Here," I said reaching into his bag pulling out his sunglasses.

"Put these on him, it will help to minimize his, uh, yeah," I replied as Will looked at me confused.

"Here babe," Tay said quietly as he slid the glassed over Wills eyes.

"What's wrong with my eyes?" Will asked quietly.

"They're just a little dark, that's all," Tay reassured him as he nuzzled his ear.

*          *          *          *          *

I wanted to cry, God did I want to cry. I wanted to sit down right there and sob. My heart was aching, watching him crumble like this.

"Tay, your ticket," Ike said as me and Will walked to the gate.

"Here, both of them," I sighed as I handed the gate attendant both mine and Wills tickets.

"Thank you, that's seats three A, and B," she smiled.

"Thank you," I replied quietly as I helped him down the jet way.

"I'm sorry," I heard him mutter but I ignored it, it hurt to much to reply.

"Taylor, I'm sorry," he said again only a bit louder.

"It's ok," I replied swallowing hard.

"No, it's not, you're having to take care of me like some kind of elderly person," his voice scratched.

"I'd do it a million times over," I replied quietly as my voice cracked. I snatched my sunglasses out of my coat pocket and put them on. The last thing I needed was to be puffy eyed in front of anyone. Including Jammer, who was already on the plane.

"Jammer is here," I whispered.

"He is?" I could hear the pain in his voice.

"Yeah, it's," I started.

"Let go," he exclaimed as he pulled his arm away from me.

"But," I started.

"No, you can't let him see us like this. If he sees you helping me, he'll find some reason to say I'm hindering you or something," he exclaimed his voice cracking and rough.

I let go and watched him slowly force himself to hold his back up. His shaking got worse. I almost reached for him again. He heaved a deep breath and the trembling diminished a bit.

"My bag," he asked.

"Here," I replied quietly biting my lip.

"Are you sure," I started.

"I'm fine," he muttered. I knew he was lying, I saw the tear running down the side of his face. His fist was clenched and his knuckles were white as he almost robotically took his bag from me and put it on his shoulder.

"Come on," he almost groaned as he started forward faster than I expected.

We came to the entrance of the plane. Apparently someone's child was having a hard time getting situated, or something. Two people backed up the line. Finally the first person moved inwards. Will pushed forward quietly when the stewardess stopped him.

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you in yet, we're backed up," she started as he turned and stepped back.

I watched him. I was so shocked. He actually looked like he was fine, other than the slight tremble that would rush through him every minute or so. I almost started to feel a little bit better when he turned around. My heart shot into my throat.

"I'm going to pass out if I don't sit down," he almost gasped tears streaming down his face.

"Lady move it," I almost screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Whoa," I heard Ike exclaim as he came up behind us.

"Dude," Zac exclaimed.

"Taylor," Will gasped as the bag dropped from his hand.

"Will?" I asked in shock as I saw him in slow motion start to fall backwards.

"Oh shit," I heard Daph exclaim as I saw her suddenly behind him.

"I can't feel my legs," Will whispered.

"Lady move it," Zac growled as he shoved the stewardess back into the entrance as Will and I struggled to move forward.

"Come on," Daph said as she helped him walk.

"You gotta let go of me, if Jammer sees me," he started to whimper.

Fuck him," Daphne muttered as she took a hold of him around the waist.

"You guys go in front of me, I'll help him to his seat, so Jammer won't even see him," she almost commanded all of us.

"No problemo, babe," Zac smiled as Ike and myself walked forward.

I glanced forward. Jammer was engrossed in something on his lap top. It only took a second for Daph to get Will down in his seat and settled before Jammer even looked up. He glanced at us and returned to his laptop.

"Here," I whispered as I gave Will three tablets for his headache.

"Thanks," he sighed as he slugged them back with a Dr. Pepper I had in my bag.

"Just rest," I whispered into his ear as I nuzzled against him.

"I'm trying babe, really I am," he whimpered quietly.

*          *          *          *          *

"Any luck?" I asked as I wrapped the towel around myself.

"Not yet. Where are you? You're echoing," Fox asked.

"Just got out of the shower."

"Stop bragging," he muttered.

I grinned.

"You could go home too you know," I laughed.

"You're not going to believe where they're gonna be," he exclaimed.

"Hanson, where?" I asked.

"Tonight, they are performing at the White House."

"That's the last place they need to be in the state of mind they are in," I said slightly worried.

"I know that, so you better get your dancin' shoes on," Fox laughed.

"What on earth are you talking about?" I asked sitting down.

"We're going to a concert?" I heard him smile.

"Oh lord, it is true, you have been assimilated," I laughed.

*          *          *          *          *

"Guys, we're gonna be landing in just a few minutes," Zac whispered over my shoulder.

"Hum," I yawned looking up.

"We're landing, you know, wheels on the ground, tera ferma," Zac smirked.

"Ok, ok, I get it," I smiled.

"You're looking a lot better," he grinned, those brown eyes making me feel good.

"Thanks," I smiled back.

"Babe, we're gonna land in a minute," I whispered to Taylor.

"Already?" he groaned as he sat up from the slouched over position against me.

"Yup," I smiled.

"Will," Tay said sitting up straight.

"Hmm?"

"You look ten times better," he smiled.

"Thanks, I feel it too," I almost laughed.

He rummaged through his bag.

"What?"

"What the hell was in those tablets I gave you?" he chuckled as he dug the bottle out and started looking over it.

"Looks like generic pain killers," I grinned.

"Well, remind me to buy stock in the company," he smiled brightly.

*          *          *          *          *

"Remote access established," the little indicator screen blinked as I turned the tiny knob on the handle of the apparatus.

"Heh, the miracles of technology," I smiled as I placed it in my briefcase.

"Ladies and gentleman, we will be landing in a matter of moments," the captain began his routine blather of crap.

I yawned and stretched. Smiling I sat back in my seat.

"Not much longer," I thought to myself as I patted my briefcase.


On to Chapter Thirty-Three

Back to Chapter Thirty-One

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Memories ... Of A Forgotten Past is Copyright © 2000 by Taylor W. Quest.
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