There were a few things that pissed Barry Tolliver off that morning. The dull teeth on his chainsaw which he needed to cut all that firewood to get them through the winter, and Mike's friends.

He pretty much had Pat pegged as a gay man. That didn't concern him much; his older brother had reached the same conclusion after seventeen years of marriage. But just having a gay brother didn't do much for Barry's understanding about how such things happened. Had Everett been gay all along?

Those long cold nights when he had shared a bed with Everett came to mind, what they had done was just exploring, wasn't it? At eleven and twelve Barry had wanted some understanding of these new feelings his body was kicking out, his brother already knew all the details, most fifteen year olds did.

The touching had led to some pretty deep feelings, the things they did back then just didn't sit well with him now, especially after he knew Everett was gay. OK, so he had learned about his body and been able to give his brother the attention he desired. But he shouldn't have craved it so much, it was plain wrong.

It all made Barry wonder if Mike had done anything like that with Pat. Boys were curious; he sure had been once Everett got him started. Not that he wanted to think about Mike taking it up the ass like he had when he was twelve. He'd only done it because Everett had said it would feel good, and it sure did once he got past the pain. The best damn orgasm he'd ever had was while sitting on his brother's cock, what did that say about him now?

If Mike was having sex with Pat maybe he could understand, after all he had no brothers to further that exploration. If anything it was probably better than going out and getting some girl pregnant. But how would he know if they were doin it...not like he could just ask, was it? Barry supposed he might never find out, but then no one knew about him and Everett.

Three years, all those nights under the covers, and Everett had made him feel loved, his Momma sure didn't. It was no wonder Everett moved out at eighteen, all that woman did was yell at him. But his brother had dated girls too, another bone of contention with Momma. She tried so hard to make Everett feel guilty; sexing it up with girls was sinful outside of marriage. No wonder his brother had remained in Barry's bed so long.

Mike was old enough to know what he was doing, he was a strong headed child, always had been. Barry just hoped his wife didn't get involved, it was just fortunate that she didn't pay much mind to the boy's activities. If Mike was having sex with Pat, Barry knew he wasn't going to stop things; the man obviously cared for the boy. Neil was another matter entirely.

Just why Mike had latched onto that sissy boy was beyond his understanding. The acquaintance had brought him some work and access to the Dennison's yard and the trees on the back property. All the firewood he would need this winter was coming from those trees; there was a lot of deadwood for the picking.

No, Mike could have brought them the work without making friends with the boy. Neil came off like a little girl; didn't Mike know what that friendship made him look like? It was a blessing that Neil was off at that snooty private school; Mike didn't need that kind of friend around at his school. It was bad enough that Mike might face being bullied at school if their friendship ever became public knowledge. Barry had to smile at that thought, he knew all about bullies. Everett might have turned out gay but he sure put a world of hurt on Nathan Fallon before graduating.

Every school had its bullies; Nathan certainly tried his hand at the game for a while. Maybe it was because his Pops was the town's garbage man; it sure gave him an attitude. Barry had struggled right from the beginning of ninth grade, he'd barely made it with his poor grades. But he had so many chores, his Dad really didn't seem to care, the fucker.

And dealing with Nathan was just another obstacle to Barry's success in school, an aggravation that would just not go away. Nathan seemed to pick on him every chance he got, probably because he figured Barry's father was some lower form of life on the planet, like he had room to talk. The physical assaults started happening about halfway through the school year and at first it was only the odd punch here and there.

Barry could deal with a bruise or a scrape, but Nathan wasn't satisfied with stopping there. Everett was aware of Barry's problem, but so many boys faced those challenges, he decided to see what Barry would do. But when Barry didn't get off the bus one afternoon the old man handed him the car keys with the command to go find his brother.

Barry was lashed to the bike rack at school out behind the gym. His face was swollen and covered in blood from the broken nose, both his eyes were bruised and would soon blacken, Nathan had gone too far. Everett decided it was time for it all to end.

Barry wasn't there when it happened; it was something he sure would have liked to see. But Everett took care of the bully in short order, even though they were the same age and weight. Nathan didn't return to school that fall ... or any other semester for that matter. Once the casts came off Nathan slunk around town for a while and then moved up into Maine to live with his grandmother.

It was the last year that Barry slept with his brother, and he did his best to be grateful for the way Everett had taken care of him. For despite being a head taller and a lot meaner when he had to, Everett was gentle and loving between the sheets. If Barry could remember those feelings so well now it was a good enough excuse to let Mike have what he wanted with Pat.

Fortunately Neil was too busy to seek Mike's company except on the odd weekend here and there. Their relationship became almost formal when Pat invited the boy to dinner just to see what was going on in his life. Bradford had taken over Neil's life and most of his time, but that was a good thing because it gave him all the time he needed to keep his feelings alive for Jessie.

"So how's this new friend of yours doing ... Jessie is it?" Pat asked.

"Yes, Jessie ... I'm in love with him," Neil said.

"Oh? But you've only been there a month, no it's been two now. Damn, it's almost time for Halloween," Mike said. "So what's love feel like?"

Neil smiled. "You were right; it's hard to breathe when he's around. I brought you a picture, but he might be able to come home with me next weekend if his aunt agrees."

Neil pulled out his wallet and handed over the photo.

"Lord ... he's beautiful," Mike said, and Pat nodded his agreement.

"He plays the piano ... he plays like he's sitting in front of a huge audience, when really all he has is me. I adore him, he's my everything," Neil said, and he looked up into Pat's eyes. "I get it now; I know what you two share."

Pat could only smile, so very happy that Neil had found something grand, something to bring a spark into his life. "I'm glad to hear that, you may bring him for a visit at any time. So he's a concert pianist?"

"No ... not yet, but he will be," Neil said. "He writes his own music too, and I never saw anyone with a memory like his, he can play a fifteen minute piece without a single sheet of music. He'll be accompanying the chorus at the Christmas concert this year, wanna come?"

"That sounds delightful, I'm sure we'd both like to go," Pat said.

Mike was looking at the little picture and smiling. "So tell us, what's he like?"

Neil sighed. "He lives in Philly with his parents; his aunt and uncle live there too. Jessie has two older brothers and three sisters. Living in a house with five other kids must be a nightmare, especially with parents like his."

Neil frowned and Pat knew the story wasn't going to get any better; Jessie obviously had problems at home.

"His problems all started in seventh grade when Jessie told his mother he was gay, or at least he didn't like girls. I don't know why his parents hadn't figured it out even back then, maybe they just had too many kids to think about, but I'm not making excuses for them.

"Jessie learned to play the piano by himself when he was around ten, the only issue being that his hands were just starting to grow along with the rest of him. They didn't have a piano at home but a church up the street from their house did and the reverend let Jessie practice there."

Neil paused and shook his head. "OK, the guy had ulterior motives and molested Jessie for almost three years, but he kept going back to use that piano. He feels the sex was a small price to pay for being able to indulge his passion."

Neil looked back and forth between his two closest friends; these were the only people he could tell about Jessie's life.

"Look, none of this is about judgment, Jessie did what he wanted to further a goal, that's all. I don't think all adult/boy relationships are wrong; I have you as a shining example of what's right about it. But they never had love, and you guys have it in such abundance that it spills over onto me ... and I'm grateful."

"Thank you, Neil...we love you too," Mike said.

Neil wiped at his eyes, this was all so emotional ... he needed to move away from the sad feeling and share the joy he found in Jessie.

"Jessie is in three of my classes so I get to see him on a regular basis, Thank God. Last year he was hurt by a boy who loved him and then left him hanging. I think if the guy had even given him a little bit of closure on the relationship Jessie wouldn't have suffered so much.

"But because of that Jessie and I are on the slow road to love ... we haven't even slept together ... I can't force the issue. But he is so loveable; I can hold him for hours. Remember you telling me about the stars? The first time I kissed him I saw stars; it was incredible ... just like him."

Neil took back the photo and looked at it before smiling. "Jessie finally had a chance to use the piano in the theatre for practice, they encourage him, at least Tom does. You met Tom, what a wonderful guy. So one afternoon during activity period he took me over there and I helped him roll the piano out of its case and set it up. It's a gorgeous instrument.

"And then Jessie sat down and began to play. He was so lost in the music it was like I wasn't even there so I just sat down on the stage. And then ... Oh God ... then I looked up at him performing his music in that vast empty hall and I was lost ... totally lost. I knew I was going to love him, I've felt that from the beginning. But that afternoon it hit me full force, I was his, he was mine, love seemed to invade my very soul."

Neil was sitting there with tears streaming down his face, happy tears it seemed. And Pat smiled, yes, Neil did understand. For along with total love came the realization that what you had now belonged to someone else ... and that could be a little scary the first time around.

Neil wiped his face and Mike went to fetch him some tissues. "I don't know why I'm crying, it's not like I'm sad or anything," Neil said.

Mike laid his hand on Neil's. "Love is the strongest emotion I've ever felt; now you know how I feel."

"Yes," Neil said, wiping away the tears. "I want you both to meet Jessie, I've already told him about you."

"Please, bring him over, he sounds like a very nice young man," Pat said. "You mentioned his aunt might agree to let him come stay with you ... why not his parents?"

Neil shook his head. "His parents don't matter anymore. He lives in that house sometimes but they don't control him, they don't even want him there. It took a court order to set his parents straight and all because his aunt forced the issue. She and his uncle are more like his parents now.

"His Aunt Diana was always watching Jessie when he came over to visit. The rest of the family had started ignoring him after he came out to his mom and his aunt saw that. But she had a piano in her living room and Jessie would play little things for her every time he'd visit. And then one day Jessie showed up at her house limping and with a black eye, seems his brothers had beaten him up because he was a little faggot.

"Jessie said his aunt scooped him up in her arms and immediately called for his uncle to come home from work, he was only fourteen at the time." Neil paused and a smile lit up his face. "I like this part of the story best. His aunt filed child abuse charges again the parents and although it never went to court they were ordered into counseling. By then Jessie had told his aunt and uncle everything ... oh, I left out one very important fact, Jessie's uncle is a judge."

"Oh My God, his parents really got it," Mike said.

"Well it changed his life at home that's for sure. But his aunt took over everything in Jessie's life, that's what made the real difference. She placed him in Bradford; she had him privately tutored in the piano, everything his life needed to change for the better. He's not even going home for Thanksgiving, he's staying with me."

Aww, that's so sweet," Mike said.

"What about your father, Neil?"

"My father better learn to keep his mouth shut, I hope he's not even home this weekend, he'll probably be down in Boston again with ... no, I won't talk about that. Look, thank you for the dinner but I have to go home and study. And thanks for being my friend, both of you. I really think that what I want from Jessie is all because of what I see here ... I love you guys."

And they all hugged and kissed before Neil walked out the door. Pat looked down at Mike and smiled. "He loves us, isn't that fine?"

"Yeah," Mike said. "There are so many kinds of love. I can love Neil too but it's nowhere near as good as what we have."

"Do you have any homework to finish?" Pat asked.

"Nope, I just have to be home by ten. Any later than that and Dad will think I'm out racing his truck up and down the back roads. But we have over an hour ... you wanna?" Mile asked.

"I always wanna with you," Pat laughed.

The fall temperatures dropped close to freezing at night so there would be no more love under the stars until spring, but they were old friends with Pat's bed. Listening to Neil had made Pat even more aware of how good he had it with Mike. And as they cuddled on the bed under the quilt he understood Neil's tears tonight, his love with Jessie had not been consummated just yet. It was only waiting for the right time.

Making love to Mike had changed, the boy was hardly shy about what they did anymore ... he really wasn't a boy any more at all. Mike was on the cusp of turning seventeen but their love over the past year had matured him tremendously. In fact their anniversary was only thirty days away, something Pat had been thinking about.

Mike had so many needs, just things his father couldn't afford to buy, the foremost being a car. Pat had driven into Littleton two days ago while Mike was in school with that very thought in mind. Buying Mike a car seemed practical; it would only make getting together easier, no down side to that. But what would Barry think?

But if Pat bought himself a truck it could be because he needed something stronger and heavier to traverse the roads in bad weather. Seventy five percent of the traffic here was trucks and four wheel drive vehicles, Pat was one of the few who didn't own one. Not that he would approve of Barry using it if Mike brought it home, but the boy could haul firewood which they used in great supply over the winter.

His bank account would allow a moderate truck purchase; Pat had picked up some more work as some of the financial markets consolidated their assets. But he wasn't a fool, the economy was headed to hell in a hand-basket thanks to so much speculation, it was a good thing his clients were strong players.

So a truck and insurance, because certainly Barry could not afford to have a teenager on his insurance policy, Pat would have to handle that detail as well. But this was Mike, the love of his life and the very reason he breathed, no expense was too great.

Mike was all lips and teeth tonight, driving Pat up the proverbial wall with his passionate attack. But just as you can't rape the willing, Pat was willing for anything Mike wanted from him, and tonight he took it all.

Pat left the bedside lamp on so he could look up at Mike and watch the shadows play against the wall. This way he could look up into those eyes filled with passion as he took what he wanted between Pat's legs. Mike always felt larger after they hadn't done this in a while, it was only his imagination ... or was Mike going through a late growth spurt?

What mattered most was the way this coupling met their every need, for in pleasing himself Mike was only trying to give Pat the best feelings he could. He couldn't recall the last time he had stood in the shower at home and stroked himself to an orgasm, it didn't seem necessary any more.

No, their bodies were in perfect tune now, like old lovers who had danced to this tune a thousand times. Pat knew when Mike was going over the top and he tried his hardest to climb there with him. It made for a glorious orgasm each time, and Pat was still amazed that his reaction was always hands free. Mike just inspired his body to such heights, he had to let go.

And then came the moment when they lay exhausted, chests heaving, hearts beating faster ... the race had been run and they both came out winners.

Pat kissed Mike's neck and whispered. "You think Neil would understand what we have here?"

Mike raised his head and smiled. "No, but I hope someday he does. Everyone needs what we have; this is the kind of love that doesn't need definition."

Pat grinned. "When did you become so wise?"

"When you first hugged me for love ... it was right here in this very bed." Then Mike giggled and the sound became laughter. "Oh God, I was such a little idiot. 'So you wanna fuck me now?' I even asked you that ... what was I thinking?

"You were telling me how desperate you were to be loved, that's all," Pat said. "I'm just glad you said it because I never could."

"I forced myself on you, didn't I? I really didn't give you much of a choice ... I guess I'm just glad you were too smart to up and fuck me right then ... it would have destroyed everything."

"Yes, I agree," Pat said. "You knew what you wanted, sweetie, you just weren't sure how to get there, I knew that. Just like Jessie will know when it's right to make love to Neil, they both have to be ready. I really think Neil knows now, it's not just about the physical act ... they have to be ready for the emotional reactions too. It will all work itself out, can we shower now?"

And in the shower they both recovered sufficiently to renew the evening's pleasures. Pat stood behind Mike as the boy braced himself on the wall, groaning as he relaxed enough to allow the invasion. Pat held him close and moved slowly, the pressure up his backside was exquisite and Mike closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling.

What he enjoyed most was that he felt like they didn't hurry their love making any more, Pat was a patient lover. And because of that Mike allowed his body to absorb ever nuance of the motion, the pressure and the heat they created together. The best part was that they didn't use lube anymore, it wasn't needed. For Mike's body now knew to provide a flow of moisture, and his rear had become so used to the size and shape of the intrusion they seemed to melt together.

And when Mike finally kissed Pat good night for the evening he could still feel that tingle inside while he drove home. It was the warm memory of that last kiss which made him smile as he laid his head on the pillow and snuggled in under the quilt to sleep.

But Neil sat at his desk and saw the figures in his trig book blur before his eyes. God, this subject was going to drive him crazy, he hated stuff like this. Alan had arranged for Barry to tutor Neil in trig during activity period, the boy was another member of the club.

But unlike all the other boys, Barry was tall, overweight and quite plain looking. Neil would never have labeled him gay, and he still wondered about that. At the moment Barry didn't have a roommate, but he was a senior and it didn't seem to bother him.

They'd pushed the two desks together so they could face one another. To Barry any form of math was easy; it was just the way his brain worked. Neil was grateful for the help and it did make his homework easier, but Barry presented a challenge of another sort.

For even as they worked on the problems he could feel Barry's eyes looking at him. Neil was sure the boy was hard as a rock under the desk, the expression on his face seemed to indicate as much. Not that Barry was rubbing himself down there; he did manage to keep his hands out of his lap. But Neil had no doubt that the minute he left at the end of the session that Barry would be jerking himself into a wild orgasm behind that locked door. It was plain weird.

But weird didn't describe little Stevie, the ninth grader that had such a crush on Jessie, he was almost too polite. The boy lived upstairs in Revere Hall, the freshman dorm. For one thing the school had learned, the younger boys didn't need to be mixing with the older ones downstairs ... they might learn certain things too fast.

Not that sex was rampant on the dorms; it was more like some of the boys ran a circuit from room to room. Neil had learned all this inside information from Jessie as the gay boys all thought it quite funny. The boys that identified as straight were just as involved in sex play as their gay counterparts; they were just less open about it.

Jessie said there were three main instigators, all who lived in his hall. In the time between end of classes and dinner someone would spread the word that room eleven or six or four, whichever was planning to host that evening, was holding a circle jerk after lights out.

The dorm proctors lived in their own apartments at one the end of building, their front doors facing the entrance to the hallway. Lights out was at ten-thirty, a mere inconvenience for boys that often stayed up until midnight with their books. There was a room check then and everyone had to be in place, but then they had over an hour before the proctor once again checked the hall. He would randomly open a door here and there, telling a boy to pack it in and go to sleep if he was still up studying. An hour was a long time to beat your meat.

Everyone brought their own pillow for the event, dress was casual, boxers preferred and tissues were provided. Jessie said he had never been in one, but he had watched several. Frank liked to attend, but by that late hour he was usually well into his studies.

A circle was considered a success if at least six boys showed up, sometimes there were as many as ten. There was usually an object provided, a photo torn from a nudie magazine was popular. It not only gave the boys a means of focus on the activity at hand, it provided an excuse for what they were doing.

For boys used the circle to study others, and sometimes private activities were spawned from that meeting of cocks. There was little said by the participants. The sounds of hands rubbing, the occasional slap of flesh and a bit of moaning and groaning as they reached the finish line was all that was required. Each boy put a dollar in the pot; the last one to finish was the winner. It took a lot of effort to finish last if you were a gay boy; the sight was inspiring, Jessie said.

He was also sure the freshmen lay in the dark and silently masturbated alone, at least that's what he'd done after he arrived. He'd shared a little jerk off action with another boy or two, but Frank's incessant masturbatory habits made it easy for Jessie to quickly toss himself off.

But now Neil was sneaking onto the dorm early in the morning as the boarders were getting up for their showers and breakfast. Frank was usually in the shower, probably playing with himself to get rid of that morning wood, and Neil would slide in the room and quietly close the door.

Jessie was usually asleep, huddled under the blankets all curled up in a ball. Neil would slide the thermos of coffee out from under his jacket and pour them each a cup. Then he would lean in over Jessie and kiss his cheek, or whatever part was exposed.

It was the same every morning. Those big brown eyes would open and Jessie would smile up at him.

"Good Morning, Sunshine," Neil would say and then Jessie would throw back the covers and sit up rubbing his eyes. He would look up as Neil handed him the coffee, two creams, no sugar, and he would smile yet again. Jessie smiled a lot these days, it warmed Neil's heart.

Those first few times Jessie had seemed embarrassed to throw back the blanket, he was often erect. But then he and Neil had shared their equipment in the showers over at the gym and that became less of an issue. Seeing the boy he loved clad only in boxers each morning always gave Neil a thrill, the boy had an awesome body.

Cock for cock they were fairly well matched, but that had yet to become any part of the relationship and Neil respected that. All in good time he assured himself, this morning ritual was just the beginning. For Neil had discovered one very important thing about the boy he loved, Jessie was an incurable romantic.

The adoring glances, the little sighs, and the smiles ... yes, those smiles, each of them came from Jessie's heart and gave Neil assurances that he was on the right track. For just as Jessie attacked that piano with furor in all the right places, his quiet passages were exquisitely soft and expressive, his innermost feelings flowing through his fingers into that magnificent instrument.

So as Jessie went about his routine of dressing and brushing his hair, Neil would be there to watch and learn how significant each little move seemed to be. Jessie bathed once a day, usually after gym class. Of course that meant he was naked in Neil's presence and they admired one another from across the tiled room.

Neil always smelled of soap and shampoo each morning, not so Jessie. The boy had a scent, a musk that seemed to surround him and Neil began to understand that it was his natural odor. It wasn't strong, it wasn't even unpleasant, it was just Jessie. His body seemed to offer Neil's senses a multitude of stimulations, his smell was simply divine.

And once Jessie was clothed and brushed, he would take out this little box from his dresser and pin on his little rainbow flag. Neil would walk over and Jessie would affix its twin to his collar. For Neil was out now, a gay boy, and everyone seemed to know of his love for Jessie.

Neil didn't wear the pin at home because it would aggravate his father. No, having Jessie do this each morning was a part of their ritual, just like the kiss that followed. Their timing was always right on, for just as they managed to lock lips Frank would return with a towel wrapped around his waist and look at them.

"Oh, Jeez," He would moan, and Neil would only press his lips against Jessie's harder as they both tried to keep from laughing. "Get a room guys," Frank would groan, but he was laughing with them. Then he would don his clothes and the three of them would go down for breakfast. And there they would encounter little Stevie, the ninth grade version of the Jessie fan club.

He always managed to find a seat at their table, one where he could keep an eye on Jessie. After six weeks he had become a fixture of morning life, but he was never an aggravation. If the boy noticed that four or five of them at the table were each wearing a little rainbow flags he never said anything about it.

He was a freshman, and by tradition that meant he was ignored. Because by that same time honored school tradition, if he were to be recognized then he would face a certain amount of hazing. But Stevie was cute as a button; it just needed to be a button on someone else's coat for a while. In time someone would find out what the boy was all about, and if gay he would be given his own pin to wear. For now he was relegated to the position of their mascot.

On Friday morning Neil arrived at school and with his usual grace slunk up the stairs of Revere Hall and into the dorm. Half naked boys were everywhere, heading to and from the shower, snapping towels at one another and exposing their finest assets. But Neil only nodded at the greetings since he was accepted here, by now everyone knew his destination.

He slid into room nine and placed the thermos on Jessie's desk, glancing at the sleeping boy. And there on the desk he saw the permission slip, Jessie Reardon had been given permission to stay the weekend with Neil Dennison. Neil noted the dates and time, Jessie didn't have to be back until classes on Monday morning.

Three nights was all Neil could think about, three nights with this amazing young man in his arms, and he wanted to explode. It would be the first time he would be totally alone with Jessie, in his bed, in his arms and ... and he had no idea how it would end up. Would they ... could they?

It would be Halloween on Saturday night, almost two months to the day that he'd met Jessie and stared into those eyes for the first time. He didn't want Jessie to feel any pressure, he was bringing the boy home so that they could relax and share quality time ... he couldn't expect anything else to happen, could he?

They hadn't talked about sleeping together and all its ramifications. But Neil had set the stage, the pool house was ready and waiting if ... and what a big if that was. His mother knew something was up, she knew Neil felt something special for the boy he was bringing home. But Neil had also spent three days begging her to have the old piano in the living room tuned and she finally got the message, it was ready.

Neil sat on the bed and looked down at Jessie; this boy had changed his life. He leaned down and kissed Jessie's cheek, and the eyes popped open.

"Good Morning, Sunshine." And the best day of Neil's life had just begun. The day seemed to float by and Neil did his best to focus on the classroom work. Elias praised him for creative imagination on a paper he'd turned in; Professor Poole seemed to like his workup on the ecology project, only Simmons gave him a curt nod when he turned in his trig homework. "The Ice Queen," as the class dubbed her was rarely emotional about anything.

But nothing could dampen Neil's spirits today, although he stumbled a bit when he found Stevie crying in the Men's room after lunch.

"What's up, little man?" Neil had asked, standing at the urinal. He had walked in the bathroom and seen Stevie at the sink staring into the mirror with tears on his face.

"Nothing ... everything," Stevie said. "God, you are so lucky."

Neil washed his hands and considered that statement. He figured the boy was talking about his relationship with Jessie; but Stevie had relaxed on that subject once the other boys at the table had begun talking to him.

"You want to talk about it?" Neil asked. He dried his hands and placed a hand in Stevie's shoulder. "Come on, we have the time."

He led the boy down the hall and took the stairs to the first floor. Across the hall the door to the 'Time Out' room stood open, no one was using it. Teachers used it for mild punishment, students for moments just like this ... adolescence could be a painful time of life and Bradford had a place even for that. Neil guided Stevie into the room and shut the door. The large glass window would show the room in use, it was not a place for make out sessions; it was a place to talk.

Stevie sat in one of the wooden chairs looking down at his hands resting in his lap, while Neil sat on the desk looking down at the boy. "Having a bad day?" Neil asked.

"Yeah, why ... I mean, how do you know where the feelings come from? You know, love and stuff like that," Stevie asked.

Neil sighed. "I don't really know, your mind, your heart ... emotions are pretty strong in all of us sometimes. Something got through to you, what is it?"

Stevie looked up at him, the tears back in those oh so blue little eyes. Without his glasses Stevie was just so adorable, his blonde hair cut a bit too short and yet feathered perfectly each day. Neil knew the boy tried to maintain his looks; it was hard being a boarder, too easy to just let it all go.

"I can't seem to figure things out; I don't have anyone to tell me about stuff. You ... well, you have so much confidence. I didn't think you wanted to bother with me crying on your shoulder."

"Stevie, I listen very well, you can tell me anything you want and I'll keep it between us," Neil said.

"I'm sorry ... I just thought you would be mad at me for the way I ... the way I look at Jessie, I know he's your boyfriend and all," Stevie said.

Neil smiled. "You've never made me feel uncomfortable about it, it's ok for you to admire Jessie, I understand."

Stevie sighed. "I don't know why I have these feelings about him, he's just so beautiful, everything about him is just so perfect, you are lucky ... so very lucky ... "

"I think that every day, Stevie ... Steve. I have to ask, do you think you're gay too?"

Steve wrung his hands. "I guess ... I don't know, I've never done anything. Why, do you think I am?"

"What I think isn't important, Steve. You're what, fourteen, fifteen? This is the time when those feelings inside start to mean something. You're not a little kid anymore, those feelings have to be telling you something about yourself, look at the way you feel about Jessie."

"Yeah ... I do think about him a lot," Steve said, and then he began to blush.

Neil smiled. "It's ok, we all get those feelings too."

"You don't mind? I mean all I have to do is lie in bed and think about him and ... Oh God, I can't tell you about that, I'm sorry."

Neil laughed. "Steve, who do you think is on my mind when I masturbate?"

Steve smiled. "Yeah, but he's your boyfriend."

"Have you ever done anything with another boy ... kissing ... anything at all?" Neil asked.

"No ... but I think about it. Girls never seem to affect me like that. I just think there's something so special about being in love with another boy, I want to try anyway," Steve said. "I guess that does make me gay."

"Well don't be afraid of it, this is the place to try out those feelings," Neil said. "Are there any boys you happen to like just a little besides Jessie?"

"Yeah, there's this boy Terry on my dorm, he's yummy," Steve said. "I sat and talked with him a lot on Mountain Day, and that was so cool."

"Terry may not be gay, Steve ... I haven't heard anything about him."

"It's ok, I just need someone to be with, he looks at me in the shower, maybe he's bisexual?"

Neil smiled, reached for his collar and removed the rainbow pin. "Here, I want you to have this. You know that wearing it tells the others how you feel, and at Bradford that's a good thing. It doesn't mean you have to go around trying to get in everyone's pants, but maybe it will tell Terry something very important about how you feel, the rest is up to you. So stand up now."

Steve stood up and Neil pinned the little flag on his shirt collar, and again he saw tears glistening in the boy's eyes. "Oh God, I'm gonna cry again," Steve said.

"It's ok to cry, but you don't feel the same way any more, do you?" Neil asked.

"No ... thank you. I don't have an older brother ... you are just so special," Steve said.

And then he threw his arms around Neil and they hugged. Yes, little Stevie was now Steve; he could take his rightful place at their table. And Neil felt the boy's affection with gratitude; it was good to be there for someone. Neil looked up at the window in the door and saw Jessie standing there, nodding and smiling. Neil smiled back and Jessie blew him a kiss before disappearing. Oh shit, they had classes.

Neil sat down in history class beside Jessie and saw that same sweet smile. "You did a good thing, I saw some of it," Jessie said.

"And now we are eight," Neil said, and then class began.

Neil managed to tell Barry about what Steve had finally declared. The big guy smiled and said he would talk to the boy over the weekend. As for Terry, Barry thought the boy was sitting on the fence, being bisexual here was a good thing, at least for Steve. At least the boy would have some instant friends as a member of the club; it might make a difference in his life.

Jessie had already packed for the weekend and so they cut gym class and rolled out through the gates around three-thirty. The boy admired Neil's Jeep and then relaxed as they drove through Littleton.

"Mike ought to be home from school about now, he'll probably head straight to Pat's ... well, straight as any gay boy can be," Neil laughed.

"So, dying to show me off already, huh?" Jessie said.

Neil blushed, it was pretty obvious. "I ... I just don't want you to be uncomfortable around my friends."

Now it was Jessie's turn to laugh. "You're the one who looks uncomfortable not me, sure, let's go see your friends. I won't mind if you show me off one bit."

"I love you, Jessie. You're so very important to me, I want you to know that," Neil said.

Jessie slid over in his seat, the shoulder strap holding him back, but he slid a hand on Neil's thigh and held it there. "I want to be special for you ... I think you know that. I love you too, that's part of why I want to be with you this weekend. Just be patient with me, please."

Neil smiled ... his eyes on the road. "I'll be anything you want me to be just as long as you love me."

Neil pulled in the driveway at Pat's and saw the Subaru sitting there beside a late model Chevy pickup much the same color as his Jeep. He rolled to a stop just as Mike's head popped out of the truck and looked his way. Pat came out of the house carrying a roll of paper towels and a bottle of glass cleaner.

Neil and Jessie got out and walked over. "You like it? Pat just bought this truck for me," Mike said, his joy evident ... and then he stopped, his eyes looking straight at Jessie.

"You must be Jessie, Neil's told us all about you," Mike said. "Nice to finally meet you."

"Pat ... Mike, this is Jessie ... " Neil began.

"Jessie Reardon, I'm Neil's boyfriend ... nice to meet you both," Jessie said, enjoying the look of surprise on Neil's face.

Mike laughed and gave Jessie a hug, Pat did as well. "Welcome, Jessie," Pat said. "What's the matter, Neil ... cat got your tongue?"

"No," Neil laughed and put his arm around Jessie's waist. "This guy just likes to shock me sometimes, I didn't know he was just going to up and say that right away."

"The company is gay, it just felt right," Jessie said. "Nice truck, Mike."

"It's almost been a year since Pat and I got together, this is his anniversary present, even if it is a month early," Mike explained.

"He needs a good set of wheels, winter's coming," Pat said.

"Yeah, unfortunately," Neil said. "Well at least you won't have to ride that damn bus to school anymore, Mike."

"Hey, yeah ... didn't think of that, it's ok if I drive it to school, isn't it, lover?"

"Sure baby, that way you can come straight here afterwards," Pat said.

"Oh yeah, they got it goin on," Jessie said, and they all laughed.

They stayed until five, and then Neil had to take Jessie home knowing his mother expected them for dinner around six. Neil's father would probably be there, he was sure to get some looks from the man with Jessie present. He didn't warn Jessie about his father's feelings, he couldn't, the boy might not have come. But he would do all in his power to suppress any hard feelings; this had to be the perfect weekend.

He drove them slowly through town and turned left towards the river instead of back towards his house. He wanted a moment alone with Jessie and so he turned off into the scenic overlook and threw the Jeep in park, leaving the engine running for heat. Across the river basin the valley spread out towards the mountains in the distance. The trees were almost bare this late in the year, the view towards the snow capped peaks un-obscured.

"That's Mt. Washington over there," Neil said, "I took Pat and Mike up there a few days before Thorne accepted me to Bradford. It's a good thing really; he asked me if I'd seen anything lovely that week. I didn't know you then, Jessie, or I would have told him the most beautiful thing I've ever seen was you."

Jessie unsnapped his seat belt and was in Neil's arms, their lips pressed tightly and the shared feelings finally had a moment to be expressed. "You're so good to me," Jessie said once they parted. "I do love you."

"You've never called me your boyfriend before," Neil said. "Everyone at school thinks that but you just said it right out."

"Everyone is right, I can't deny what we feel any longer. I want to sleep in your arms tonight, and I think I'm ready to be loved by more than the words we share. It's time for that; you've come a long way towards healing the pain I had inside. I admire your patience ... thank you."

Neil wanted to scream with joy. Yes, they would share love, and for Jessie's sake Neil was so glad he knew how to make that special. He leaned back in for another kiss and they held it for a long time. He could worship this boy, this young man of his dreams, and now they would have something special that they shared with no other. Being in love was everything; loving Jessie would give that new meaning.

He pulled in the driveway and saw his father's car parked in the drive. Crap, here we go, Neil thought.

"Oh great, my father is home," Neil said.

"Is this a problem?" Jessie asked.

"His problem, not ours ... mom is on my side and she rules," Neil said.

"Then I'll shake hands with him and give her a hug, I don't want this to be a problem for us, Neil."

"No, sweetie ... he's got no room for causing us any problems, we hold the cards."

Neil's father was gruff at the meeting, but he shook hands and went back to his newspaper. Nora hugged Jessie and admired the boy's looks. No wonder Neil was in love, the boy was stunning. Oh, Neil hadn't said anything directly, but a mother knew and she understood why he couldn't take his eyes off Jessie.

Neil took Jessie outside to see his room, it was all warm and snug in there now. Jessie understood why Neil had moved out here, the father didn't seem very receptive. So this is where it will all happen, Jessie told himself. He knew they would consummate their love on this bed and life would be different, better. It was time for him to love again, love without boundaries meant he could be what Neil desired...what he wanted in his life again.

Jessie sat across the table from Neil and tried very hard not to look directly at Mr. Dennison. Nora understood and engaged him for most of the hour, taking about the town and asking Jessie about Philadelphia.

"We live in Springfield actually, just outside the city," Jessie said. "My aunt's house was built in 1783 right after the Revolutionary War. The walls are solid stone about two feet thick, it's really amazing."

"So an historic home, I always loved seeing those places when we traveled."

"My uncle says they have to be very careful about keeping the place up, the historical society comes by every so often to look around and he doesn't want them upset," Jessie said.

"Jesus, a man ought to be able to do what he wants with his own home," Neil's father said.

It was the first time the man had directed anything towards Jessie and so he turned to reply. "I think he wants to keep the tax deduction the house allows them, sir," Jessie said.

"Well, that's a smart move anyway. So you don't live with your parents?"

"No sir ... it didn't work out between us," Jessie said. "My aunt placed me at Bradford."

Neil was waiting for some crack; some snide remark about the reason for Jessie's situation but it never came. As dinner ended he helped his mother clear the table and Jessie assisted.

"So I assume you play the piano, that explains why Neil had me bring in the tuner like it was some kind of emergency," Nora said.

Jessie looked at Neil with shock. "You did what?"

"I just got the piano tuned in case you wanted to play this weekend, that's all," Neil replied.

"I'd like to hear you play," Nora said. "Neil says you're very good."

"Thank you, but are you sure Mr. Dennison won't mind?" Jessie asked.

"He won't mind at all," Nora said, and her smile said he had better not.

Neil led Jessie out to the living room and there in the corner stood a baby grand, seven feet long Jessie guessed, unusual. The cover kept him from seeing the instrument, but he did see the smile on Neil's face and almost held his breath as Nora removed the cover.

"My mother gave this to me, I did play a bit as a child but it hasn't been played in years. The tuner was amazed at how well preserved it is, it just has a lot of sentimental value for me," Nora said.

Jessie was stunned. For there on the facing above the keys was the word Bosendorfer, this was one of the premier piano makers in the world.

"Jessie?" Neil said. "What's the matter?"

"My God ... do you know what you have here?" Jessie said, pulling out the bench and sitting down. "This is ... this is one of the best pianos in the world."

"Mother said it was a great piano," Nora said.

"Mrs. Dennison, this is more than a great piano. Franz Liszt played one of these, you know, The Hungarian Rhapsodies?"

The comment drew only blank stares and so Jessie launched into his favorite. "Dum ... da da de dum," Jessie played and the wonderful sound of the piano absorbed him until he was lost in the music. On and on, his fingers caressed the keys, playing the melody composed by one of the world's greatest piano virtuosos, and Jessie became one with him.

Neil looked over at his father and saw the man sitting there with the paper in his lap and his mouth all but open in amazement, they were all stunned. All but Neil, who knew that Jessie was doing this for them, for their love and to prove himself worthy in the eyes of Neil's parents. Well it was working and Jessie finally just stopped, his hands resting on the keys.

He looked up at Nora. "I'm sorry, I got a bit carried away there ... you have a wonderful instrument here."

Nora nodded. 'My God,' she thought, 'this boy is a prodigy.' "How did you ever learn to play that well?" She finally asked.

"I worked on learning pretty much by myself, but then my aunt got me a teacher so I could learn the proper fingering and stuff. I just like the way the keys feel under my fingers," Jessie said.

Neil's father got up and left the room, they could hear his footsteps going upstairs.

"Should I stop playing now, I don't want to disturb him," Jessie said.

"Play that thing you did last week, the soft piece," Neil suggested.

"The Beethoven? You're such a romantic ... I'll play it, but his music makes me sad, such a tragic ending to a brilliant career as a composer," Jessie said. "I couldn't imagine going deaf."

Jessie placed his fingers on the keys and began to play the soft notes of the Moonlight Sonata. Neil looked on, feeling the tears come to his eyes like they had last week. For he had sat on a stool in the crook of the Steinway at school while Jessie played this piece, not once looking down at his hands, his eyes glued to Neil's face.

And Neil had felt the emotions wash over him, the music and Jessie all at one time, and the tears had rolled down his cheeks. Jessie had smiled at the offering, knowing that it was more than his music that affected Neil that day. It was the moment Jessie finally understood that he could love this boy and not get hurt once again.

And as that first movement ended Jessie stood up, feeling like he had done enough for the evening. Nora hugged him and quickly left the room with her thoughts so Neil could be alone with his love. For if ever two boys loved one another she had seen the expression of it in that very room. It was as if Jessie held Neil captive with his music when she was sure it was the boy himself that Neil adored.

It was like watching a great love scene play out, the two of them locked in a struggle of minds and hearts. She couldn't imagine that they had shared anything else, where would they? But that love was here now and alone in the darkness of the pool house she knew the fire of their passion would consume them. It was fine; it had to happen before they both burst into flames by spontaneous combustion.

She had felt such passion before in her own life, but not with Clayton. No, this was a marriage of convenience, mostly his, the self centered prick. Maybe he just ought to go down and live in Boston with that bimbo he'd met. He wasn't fooling her one bit, and Neil certainly didn't need the man in his life, he now had Jessie. She went in her own bedroom and shut the door.

Neil reached out for Jessie's hands and kissed his fingers. "God, sweetie ... you're the sexiest thing alive when you play like that."

Jessie giggled. "I love it when you talk dirty to me."

Neil laughed, still holding those hands. "Let's go watch a love movie and see if we can learn anything," He suggested.

Jessie smiled. "I'm sure we both know more than we're willing to admit, but fine...I just want to hold you."

They put on their coats for the short walk and dashed out to the pool house. Neil had moved everything down here, his television, stereo and computer sat to one side, the bed on the other wall and the old couch and chair he'd conned off his mother. The pool house was warm now, a lot of that was due to his efforts of adding two inches of foam insulation to the outside walls under the new siding, and another twelve inches of batting in the attic space.

In fact it was warm enough for Neil to walk around in his boxers if he chose, but it was still early, winter would give him the real test very soon. But even at twenty-eight degrees outside at that moment Neil felt just fine in here at a warm seventy degrees.

"I need a shower before we sack out," Neil said.

"You want some company?" Jessie asked. "We may shower together at school but I've never been able to touch you."

Neil smiled. "Oh yeah, the touching part will become very necessary I believe ... I'll wash your back. Maybe we ought to do it now, the water heater is kinda small and it takes a while to recover."

"Hmm," Jessie said. "What else takes a while to recover?"

Neil laughed. "Don't tease me boy, I just might discombobulate on you."

"Oh? Is that anything like an orgasm?"

"Now you are teasing, let's do this," Neil said, and he started to undress.

They both watched each other, the act familiar, the place not at all. They both stared for a moment as the final piece came off leaving then both bare, but Neil turned towards the bathroom and Jessie followed. Like good boys they washed themselves and each other, trying not to look down, trying not to become aroused so soon ... and failing miserably.

Neither of them was circumcised, a sign of the times, but it didn't matter. Those soldiers were at attention with hats off; it was here they displayed the first real differences between them. Length ... check ... Girth ... check ... Shape ... ahh. Neil's cock had a flared head while Jessie's was more rounded to a point. Foreskin had always hidden that distinction before, now it seemed tantalizing.

Jessie swept his hair back after that final rinse and Neil pulled his back behind his ears.

"You ever want to grow yours longer?" Jessie asked.

"Yeah, I was about to ask, have you ever cut yours?" Neil replied.

"I get it trimmed, but it's been like this for years ... sorta pissed off the old man and I liked doing that," Jessie said.

"It's nice, you take good care of it," Neil said, taking a step forward and placing his hands on Jessie's shoulders. "But those eyes ... Lord, I get lost in those eyes. You are so beautiful ... "

The words stopped as Jessie leaned in and kissed him. Neil slid his hands down Jessie's body and clasped his butt, pulling them together. Hard cocks fought for a space between them and ended up side by side. The kiss ended and Neil looked down.

"See, they like each other," He laughed.

"Too bad, they won't get to play very often ... we have other places for them to go," Jessie said, and the grin was pure evil.

"Oh you are bad ... so bad," Neil said, and he clasped their bodies together with his hands pressing on Jessie's butt. Again the long kiss, only this time they ground their bodies together, cocks pressed between them. Neil's tongue was down Jessie's throat when he felt the water on his back start to cool off. Damn water heater.

Neil reached back and pushed the lever down, shutting off the flow of water ... he didn't want the moment to end. But Jessie pulled back. "Let's go finish this in bed," He suggested, and Neil could only agree.

Neil slid a DVD in the player and started a movie, something to fill the background.

"Oh, Titanic, I haven't seen that in a while. Leo is such a dream boat all by himself," Jessie said.

"Say what you want, he can't have you," Neil said as he slid beneath the covers.

Jessie slid into his arms and everything in Neil's life changed. The taste of Jessie's skin, the smell of his hair, all served to turn the world upside down for a while. They kissed and hugged, hands roaming, pinching, touching. Lips and tongues, sucking, tasting.

"Do you want me?" Jessie asked after a while.

"If it pleases ... yes, I do," Neil said.

"Go slow ... it's been a while," Jessie said.

And Neil knelt between Jessie's legs and buried his face in the boy's ass to prepare the way. The taste of his core, the heat on his tongue told Neil that Jessie was ready, more ready than he would ever be. And so he rose up and leaned his body forward, his cock seeking the heat and finding it. And those brown eyes looking up at him, pleading, begging him not to hurt and they blinked as Neil pushed forward into the heat and then closed as Jessie sighed.

Maybe it was the love that overtook him, but Neil felt like a novice, like this was the first time he had ever slid into a boy. Yes, there had only been Alan, but that had been part of the learning curve. This was so different, so much better. All the power in his blood swollen cock was under Jessie's control, and Neil became his slave.

The soft moans and gasps all played Neil like a symphony, and Jessie conducted it all with those long powerful fingers. He grasped and pulled, pushed and rubbed, showing Neil the moves he so desired and it was wonderful. They moved in the dance like stars and to Neil it felt like an eon of time before he felt the first surge of his passion rise up and assert itself.

This was love, raw and passionate ... and yet so gentle that when he finally came Neil felt as if he were making an offering to the gods...when in reality it was only one god ... his god ... his Jessie. And Jessie pulled him down, holding him in, never wanting the feeling to end, even though they might do this a dozen times over the weekend, this time was special.

And Neil collapsed on top, his face on Jessie's chest just to feel that heart pounding inside very much like his own. And those long talented fingers ran through his hair, caressing, bringing him back down to Earth. For just as Jessie was carried away by the music of his piano, Neil had been carried away too, Jessie had played him like a piano ... a grand piano.

His strength recovering, Neil slid his face down Jessie's chest, across his stomach and sucked that reluctant cock into his mouth. For although it had withered during his assault, Jessie had not brought himself to the brink of orgasm. But Neil needed this assault; he wanted the essence of this boy inside of him. And his efforts were soon rewarded, a gasp, a groan and a soft scream brought Jessie to the edge and he let go.

The amount was staggering, the taste divine and Neil swallowed time and time again as he could not bring himself to miss one molecule of the offering. Gods, he had fulfilled his every dream, and so Neil rose up from slaking his thirst and lay down beside his love, his partner.

"That was incredible," Jessie said, a mere word, nothing that could reveal what his mind really thought. Neil could become an awesome lover, the best he'd ever had ... and yet he knew Neil wouldn't think of it in those terms.

No, Neil wanted someone to control his love, someone to tell him that he was doing everything right. His lack of experience was endearing and Jessie knew how to deal with it. Neil would rise up and take that power from his hands, and then they would burn with the heat of the passion they would create. And Jessie almost laughed aloud as his impatience asserted itself, are we there yet?


On to Chapter Five

Back to Chapter Three

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"Seasons for the Boy" Copyright © 6 September 2008 Chris James. All rights reserved.
    This work may not be duplicated in any form (physical, electronic, audio, or otherwise) without the author's written permission. All applicable copyright laws apply. All individuals depicted are fictional with any resemblance to real persons being purely coincidental.

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