"Love is a feeling, an emotion so strong that it can bring the mind crashing down without warning. Love has no mass, no dimension, and yet it encompasses a body so completely that it can smother. It is not tangible and yet many languages have so many words for that feeling we hold so dear. There is nothing simple about love."

You may wonder at the quote, but I am only quoting myself here, for I believe this says all I can about what unfolds in this chapter.

Chris James.

The light through his curtains told Neil it was still early, too early to get up and yet too late to go back and sleep another four hours. Sometimes his Saturdays were spent mostly in bed, but then his mind focused on the warmth lying next to him. Jessie. That single word caused his heart to skip a beat and the emotions of the night before all flooded back into his mind.

They had stayed up late, long after Leo had yelled about being 'King of the World' and the Titanic had sunk. They both knew the film, they weren't paying attention. They had fed their passions and then allowed them to cool, three times as Neil remembered.

In that first passage of time Neil had tried to give Jessie all the bottled up energy he'd held inside, and then the boy returned the favor. There was being fucked and then there was making love. Alan had provided the former, and Jessie ... yes, Jessie had shown what he could bring to their love.

It was as if the very clouds had reached down to lift him on high, Neil now knew what heaven must feel like. In all the hours he had watched Jessie play he had seen that passion for his music overwhelm the boy at times. That same passion had been with them time and time again last night, it was the greatest experience of his young life ... and it wasn't over yet ... so he slept.

The young male body is an amazing instrument, for despite having achieved an orgasm three times in the last sixteen hours Neil was about to do it again. At least his body said that was going to happen, his mind hadn't registered the fact quite yet. Jessie's lips worked slowly as he looked up at Neil's face, waiting for the moment the boy would become aware of his actions.

That cock had been hard as it pressed against his back and Jessie had awoken to the thought that Neil was going to press his advantage, but then he realized Neil was still asleep. Rolling himself gently he slid down under the covers and captured the prize in his mouth. The single milking of this beautiful piece of manhood last night had left Jessie with the desire to do it again and now was his chance.

His desire for the taste of the male essence had begun at a young age, ten, just as he had told Neil, only he left out the sordid details. The reverend was still a young man, his taste delightful. And once Jessie got used to it there was plenty to feast upon. But if the Reverend James thought that he would be teaching Jessie's cock the wherewithal as it entered puberty he was very wrong. After a few short months the boy was all over him and taking what he wanted, James only hoped his wife would never find out.

The vast wasteland that became his life after he revealed that little gay secret to his mother was harsh; Jessie had no companions during that time. He knew other boys were experimenting, even his brothers jerked off in the silence of their room. But although he could hear the muffled groans at night it brought him nothing, for they would just as soon hit him if he called attention to their activities.

And then his aunt took him in and things changed. His admission to Bradford had been like a gift from heaven, he now had two hundred playmates and that was a lot of cocks. But the school presented him with greater opportunities than just sucking on some cock.

The frustration of the freshman dorm was alleviated by Frank, his roommate from day one. Tom had a hand in the assignments, especially when it came to his young gay charges. Putting two gay boys together might have seemed like a recipe for disaster except for what he saw in their school records. Jessie was the artist, Frank the jock; it didn't give them much in common except for their sexual feelings.

He sat them down and explained why he thought it would be good for them to room together; they would be gentle to one another. And he was right, they became friends and not lovers, for both aspired to seek out older boys. It made for some lively bedtime talks in their room after lights out.

And Jessie like most of the new boys played more with himself rather than trying to break down the barriers the school placed between him and the older boys. Frank made him feel welcome, and once, but only once, they engaged in a bit of shared play.

Not that he found Frank unattractive, but Tom was right, they were just too different as boys to get in bed together, at least until the lights went out. It was the middle of winter when the power went down for about three hours; fortunately it was just after lights out. But Jessie could tell that the heat was off as well and he knew it would get cold in their room fast.

"Frank?"

"Yeah ... what?" Came the sleepy response.

"Power is out, it's getting cold in here," Jessie said.

"Oh shit, I thought something had changed. How long do you think it will last?"

"Oh a few hours maybe, long enough to freeze our asses off."

"Shit ... uh, Jessie, can I come down there?" Frank asked.

"Sure, let's share body heat," Jessie replied.

Frank's feet were cold when he crawled in, bringing his own blanket down as well.

"Hmm, you feel warm ... oops, sorry," Frank said as his cock poked Jessie in the stomach.

"Lord, everything makes you hard," Jessie giggled.

"Uh ... well, it's been a while. You know ... you feel good, Jessie. Is that a bad thing?"

"No Frank ... it isn't going to go away unless you do something, is it?"

"Fuck, this is so embarrassing," Frank said.

"No, I have a horny roomie ... not like you can help it. You want me to help you out?" Jessie asked.

"Jeez, Jessie ... I never thought ... OK, that's a lie. I have thought about you and me, you know?"

"Just so we can sleep, OK? I don't think this ought to go anywhere," Jessie said.

"Yeah, I get it. So ... what should we do? Are you hard?"

Jessie giggled. "Of course, all this talk and ... I want to suck you off."

"Oh wow, that would be sweet ... together maybe?"

"Yes ... that works."

And so Frank turned himself around, working to keep the blankets around their bodies as much as possible as he felt for Jessie's cock in the darkness. He grasped it just as he felt Jessie's mouth cover his own, and they groaned together. The only sounds in the room after that were the slurping and moaning noises that indicated good sex was underway.

Frank could hardly contain his excitement, what Jessie was doing felt awesome. But could they, should they and then the point was past all reason.

"Uh, gonna cum," Frank moaned around Jessie's cock.

He didn't know what to expect, this was gonna be messy, but Jessie didn't stop. The pressure was building up, Frank couldn't stop now, he was gonna blow ... and he did.

"Oh God ... Oh God," He groaned, pulling away as he cut loose, but Jessie milked him good. He could feel the boy swallow and that reminded him he was supposed to fulfill his end of the bargain so he went back to his task.

Jessie continued to lick his balls and thigh, driving Frank up the wall as he tried to match Jessie's enthusiasm, and finally he felt the cock in his mouth stiffen even further. He was going to get it now, all of it. And for the very first time in his young life Frank allowed a boy to cum in his mouth.

The squirts hit his throat and tongue; it felt like a lot too. Now all he had to do was swallow and then the taste hit him. He had prepared himself to hate it, the other cocks he had sucked tasted nasty. But Jessie's sperms tasted wonderful ... sweet. Jeez, had he been missing this all along? But he swallowed and felt the cloying taste invade his sinuses, and all he could think of was, I want more.

Jessie had stopped his teasing licks, and the both of them lay there panting.

"Oh yeah ... that was awesome," Frank finally said.

"Thank you, Frank ... can we sleep now?" Jessie asked.

"Sure ... I think that will give me pleasant dreams," Frank said.

He turned back around and rearranged the blankets to fully cover them. Laying an arm across Jessie's chest, Frank kissed the boy on the neck.

"Good night, roomie." But Jessie was already asleep. The power came back on two hours later, but Frank slept on with his arms around Jessie.

It was a singular moment, a once in a lifetime event. Frank knew better than to ask for more, he had already been given more than he expected. But he felt affection for Jessie; this had only sealed their relationship, friends for life.

And finally freshman year was over, they were no longer outcasts. Summer took them in different directions, but both knew they wanted to be roomies again come fall. And it was up to Jessie to make that happen, but by then he had the inside track to Tom's heart through his music.

Weekends were a boarder's greatest time of restlessness and boredom. It was then that they missed home and friends the most, it would be two days of hell and sometimes that fed the riot of sexual expression. Boys fooled around more on the weekends, except maybe when snow covered the ground.

Dr. Thorne's solution was work, a sharing of camaraderie with snow shovels in hand. The quad was filled with snowman building contests and snowball fights. Ski trips and ice skating forays were arranged, there was really quite a bit to do. Bradford was very familiar with the needs of its boys, it was all focused on building kinship, and they were all just one big family.

Jessie used the time to practice his piano, and more than once Tom dropped what he was doing to listen. For just as one day Neil's mother would understand that the boy was a prodigy in the making, Tom quickly knew he had something very special here.

And as several of the students gathered to work on scenery for a play, or set up lights for a production, Tom allowed Jessie to occupy his own corner of the stage to practice. Jessie had combed the music room for sheet music, the little that was there was familiar to him by the middle of his freshman year. And then Tom invited him to the house for dinner one Friday afternoon.

By faculty tradition, the boys were feted one at a time here and there around the campus. Tom felt it was time to bring Jessie closer, the boy had settled into school life by now. But as a gay adult, even with Jack by his side, he worried about the emotional appeal the attentions of an older gay man would have on the younger boys.

So many of them felt their difference and yet had not totally expressed it in a relationship. To have a gay boy look at him with adoring eye would require some slow gentle talk about the nature of those feelings, it had happened before. Tom could not allow the boys to continue thinking along those lines; he was here for their benefit, not to benefit from them. From what he saw, Jessie had never developed those feelings towards him, and that in itself was a curiosity.

It would not be a one on one dinner, Jack and a half dozen of the music students would be there. But it was time to bring Jessie into the fold; he enjoyed the boy's style and grace. And at least he had a reason for this invitation, he wasn't sure Jessie would figure it out and that would be part of the fun.

Not that he could ignore the beauty; both he and Jack had talked about that. Just every so often the school would be graced by an outstanding talent; a boy with both the looks and the brains to go far in life, Jessie was just such a boy.

Jessie appeared at six, prepared to sit down to a meal with friends, what he got was an impromptu birthday party. He had told no one that he was turning sixteen in three days, the card from his aunt and uncle the only form of recognition he had received. But Tom knew this was a special occasion and boarders felt it the hardest when they were so far from home.

The look in Jessie's eyes was all the reward Tom needed for this small effort, the tears he almost expected. So when Jessie walked in and everyone yelled Happy Birthday the water works commenced, it was a very emotional moment for him, he was loved.

Tom led Jessie back to the bedroom and sat him down. With his arm around the boy he allowed the sobs to continue for a while, crying was good therapy. He managed a wet wash cloth when the tears subsided, and now they had to talk about it.

"It's OK, Jessie, we all cry at emotional moments," Tom said.

"I ... I feel so silly," Jessie said.

"No, it's OK really, I understand."

"My aunt sends me stuff, the rest of my family doesn't care," Jessie said.

Tom swallowed his own moment of emotion at that statement. The boy was dear, a precious and very talented kid. Not having the support of his parents was a devastating blow he was sure. Thank God someone cared for him; his presence at Bradford showed at least someone knew enough to get the boy into something worthwhile.

"Jessie, I think sixteen is a very important point in a boy's life. You're on the cusp of manhood, your whole life is about to change. I know you now; I like what I see in you. You'll always be loved in this house, don't ever forget that. I'm going to enjoy watching you grow into a fine young man, it's already begun. So don't let the emotions about the past bring you down, the future is where we are all headed."

He placed a hand on Jessie's chin and raised the boy's face until their eyes met. "I am so lucky to know you." And then he leaned down and placed a kiss on Jessie's cheek. "Happy Birthday, Jessie, and many more to come."

The boy hugged him and Tom smiled as he smelled that freshly washed skin and the tumble of brown hair tickled his nose. He looked up and saw Jack smiling at him from the doorway. He had seen Tom comfort many a boy in the past fifteen years of their life together; it only solidified his love for the man.

"So come on, Jessie," Tom said, patting the boy on the back. "Your friends are waiting; we have a dinner to eat and a cake to consume ... you ready now?"

No one laughed, no one even smiled outside the norm when Jessie returned to the living room. Being boarders they each had endured this moment in time on their own, they understood and now they could move on.

The meal was great and Jack was applauded for his efforts in the kitchen, he'd been a chef at one point in life, now he was manager of the school. Over cake and tea they talked about the spring musical, a folly that Tim had cooked up to show off the best talents of his kids. It was then decided that Jessie should play a grand piece of music for the show, but with a twist.

He would appear on stage in tails, the eminent concert pianist, and he would begin to play one of the louder Hungarian Rhapsodies by Liszt. And slowly the theatre would fall apart as if in response to the music. Scenery would fall, lights would go out and general chaos would ensue. It was destined to be a hit.

The laughter of planning for that event carried them all the way to lights out and the boys had to leave. They were allowed to stay up until midnight on a weekend, but they needed to be on the dorm. Tom and Jack bid them all a good evening and checked to see that each one was wrapped up well for the walk back across the road to the dorms. Jessie was the last one to leave.

He hugged them both and received kisses in return. "Thank you ... thank you so much," Jessie cooed. "I think you guys are about the best people I know." And then he left and Tom closed the door.

"That was sweet," Jack said. "God, he's so precious."

"Unique, they'll never be another quite like him," Tom said, and then he smiled, "But then I think the same thing about you." And they shut off the lights.

Jessie went to his aunt's when school let out for the summer; he played the piano and swam in her pool. He took a driving class as Bradford didn't include that in the curriculum, and managed a learner's permit from the experience.

At no time did he express an interest in seeing the rest of his family who lived only forty miles away, his aunt and uncle didn't press the point. But they marveled at the way Jessie played, even if the old upright wasn't at all like the Steinway he knew and loved. And come August Jessie prepared himself for a return to Bradford, for now he wanted to be there, those people were his family too.

True to his word, Tom had made sure Frank and Jessie returned as roommates. Jessie gave the boy a huge hug and a passionate kiss right there in the hallway in front of everyone.

"Damn," Came the comments, "My roomie sure isn't that glad to see me again."

"Jeez, get a room guys," and that was followed by tons of laughter, for of course they did have a room.

Jessie had brought a poster of Beethoven, Frank had one with Joe Montana, and they glared at one another from opposing walls that whole semester. Life settled in very quickly here on the big boy's dorm. Jessie as just so glad to be in the real world instead of upstairs with the kiddies.

But he treated the newbies with kindness and went about his studies, and then someone new arrived late in the term. The boy just appeared one day, a senior and a damn cute one at that. Jessie was sixteen, Stephen two years older.

But Jessie could feel the boy's eyes following him and would turn to see that endearing smile on Stephen's face. He enjoyed the attention and slowly they began to get acquainted. But leave it to Frank to have something to say about the new guy, he just told Jessie what he thought about Stephen.

"He wants you ... plain and simple," Frank said. "It's written all over his face."

"But why, he's so big and strong and I'm nobody," Jessie replied.

"Exactly, he'll probably fuck your tight little ass until your eyes pop out." And Frank had laughed about that for days, just long enough for Jessie to realize it might be true.

But Jessie's ass was still virgin, the Reverend James had not trodden that path with him, what was Jessie going to do? In most things Jessie believed the truth could win the day, and when he returned from Christmas break he spent a lot of time just talking to Stephen.

"Have you ever had other boyfriends," Jessie asked.

"A few," Stephen said. "My last school had some very nice guys, but the whole gay thing was a taboo subject. I knew several guys were looking at me, and not just so I could play center on their lacrosse team. But I was your age and pretty inexperienced."

"Then that ought to tell you I don't have any experience either. I never had the chance to play out the whole gay drama, not even after I got here. Freshmen are pretty much off the radar; do they tell you guys to ignore us or something?"

"No, but most of the seniors feel that going places with a freshman is like cradle robbing. "I'm sorry; I didn't say that to offend you, Jessie."

"No, I appreciate the truth," Jessie said. "It's not an issue anymore."

"You're such an amazing creature ... I'm not sure what the others might think if ... if we started something," Stephen said

"You would have a sophomore as a boyfriend, that's all it would mean."

"You're no ordinary sophomore. I feel like an idiot, I won't let the other seniors influence me. You are just so ... so special. I want to hold you and kiss you every time I see you." And then Stephen laughed. "Elias would hate that last sentence, but I don't care Jessie, this is all about you."

"I think you want a boyfriend, and if you'll have me I'm applying for the position," Jessie said.

"Oh God, baby, you already own me," Stephen said.

Jessie went to the library after dinner, a lot of students used the space to study or get away from their roommates for a while. But he went there to meet Stephen and followed the boy to a door at the back.

"I have the key," Stephen said, "Willy Avery gave it to me for the night. He says it's safe for about two hours, but no more."

"What's in there?" Jessie asked.

"Old books, library stuff I imagine, but he said there's a blanket hidden away in the bottom drawer of the desk so we don't get dirty," Stephen said.

"I thought we came here to get dirty," Jessie grinned.

Stephen grinned back. "We can explore that possibility, let's find out."

The door opened silently and no one seemed to notice them here in the back corner so they slipped through and closed it. Somehow Jessie thought it would be dark, but there was an emergency light burning in the middle of the space, leaving shadows in the corners amidst the boxes.

"You know we'll be in deep shit if someone finds us in here," Stephen said. "It will probably go worse for me."

"You're eighteen, but I don't care what that means, I want to be here," Jessie said.

Stephen found the desk and opened the drawer, removing the blanket. He spread it out on top of the desk and stood back.

"What? Am I supposed to take my clothes off now?" Jessie asked.

"No, of course not ... we've never even kissed," Stephen said.

"We can fix that."

Stephen was a head taller and he had to lean down to place his lips on Jessie's, but it didn't stop there. Jessie pulled him closer and their bodies mashed together. And then they were lying on the desk, hands groping, cocks straining and Jessie knew what he wanted to do.

Having Jessie pawing at his zipper made Stephen realize this was going to be more than an introductory make out session. But if Jessie wanted his cock he wasn't about to refuse. The boy loosened his belt and unzipped his jeans, and when Jessie started tugging them down Stephen lay back and let him go on.

Jessie was out to prove something, he just didn't know what. It had been so long, he wanted to taste Stephen, to make him cum and not miss a drop. He was shocked at the size of the tool between Stephen's legs ... it was smaller than his. No matter, it would still give up a generous dose of the essence he craved, and so Jessie set about making that happen.

Stephen had no idea where this sudden passion had come from, maybe the boy hadn't done anything like he said, but he was sure trying to make up for lost time. And when Jessie took that cock in his mouth Stephen groaned, oh yes, he'd tapped a real winner here.

Younger boys had always been his fascination; Jessie was the hottest sophomore in the class by his estimation, and a hot little cock sucker as well it seemed. Willy would love to hear about this, they had both been drooling over the younger boys for weeks. To be able to conquer one was the culmination of their obsessions, and Stephen had done it first.

There was no way he was going to remind Jessie that he was graduating come spring; it might dampen the boy's ardor. For Stephen knew if he played his cards right that he could get Jessie to suck his cock for months before he left, he might even get to fuck the little rascal. Yeah, he loved fucking boy's tight little asses and ones this age were the perfect score.

Only Stephen knew that his father had saved his butt when the rumors started going around town back home. He'd been on a roll last year; five different boys had fallen to his games. Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, it didn't matter to Stephen long as they had pubes. But his high school also had lower grades attending and the middle school boys looked might tempting.

Seducing one of the boys at that age was easy, they all wanted it anyway. Sexy little critters, full of energy and cum. All he had to do was put himself out there and they came to him like moths to the flame. Theirs was a day school, which made it easier. All the jocks were admired; he was one of them and more than willing to pay attention to the cutest of the young ones who gathered around.

God, the boy who had actually followed him into the shower room and washed his back when asked, that one was a winner. An eighth grader, loose parental controls, the boy snuck out of the house all the time. A bottle of wine, the backseat of his father's Caddy, and a handy condom was all it took to have that tight little ass. Stephen was in heaven until the rumors started going around.

Bradford was supposed to be his punishment, and now Jessie was between his legs sucking for all he was worth. Yeah, go for it kid, it never felt this good before. And when Stephen gave in to the feeling he was surprised that Jessie didn't hesitate, the boy swallowed the whole load. There was a lot to love about this boy.

But Stephen knew what would happen now, Jessie would fall in love with him, they always did. If he wanted it to continue he would have to return that love, at least until that diploma was in his hand. The end would come quick Stephen knew, but the nice part about it, Jessie wouldn't even see it coming.

In the weeks before graduation Jessie had snuck into the senior dorm and slid into Stephen's bed. It was all a matter of timing, and he managed that carefully. Stephen's roommate was a sound sleeper; he didn't even hear the groans as Jessie took that cock in his mouth or up his rear. But Stephen told him one morning that this was the last time, the seniors had exams and he couldn't handle both things at once. Jessie agreed, and after exams they would have one final week.

Jessie had made plans to see Stephen over the summer. But then the guy was planning to attend Yale that fall and that was only three hours away. Stephen seemed to agree to all this and then the seniors went into exams.

At Bradford this meant total separation of the classes, final grades were too important to risk. The lower three classes stayed off the senior dorm and away from the second floor of the main building where exams were held. Most of the senior class had already been accepted to colleges across the country, but these final points counted heavily.

Graduation was held the day after exams, and then all were reunited to celebrate the success of the seniors and to congratulate the juniors who were moving up. Jessie ran around the campus after breakfast looking for Stephen, but his possessions were already gone from the dorm. That didn't worry Jessie, maybe his family had just moved it out already. But when the graduating class lined up for the ceremony ... Stephen was nowhere in sight.

Jessie found Willy in the parking lot packing his gear.

"Willy ... where did Stephen go? I can't find him anywhere ... did he leave?" Jessie asked.

"Yeah kid, he split last night with his dad. Told them to mail him the diploma, sorry."

And Jessie's emotions shattered. He ran across the quad with tears streaming down his face and burst into the theatre. And there on the stage sat the piano, the canvas cover in place to protect the finish. It was the only thing that he felt wasn't mocking him, and he climbed up on the lid of the piano and cried like the world had come to an end, for he was sure it had.

The last week of school Jessie was in a haze. At times he couldn't handle the human contact and stayed in his room to cry. Even Frank couldn't console him, and then like a true friend he walked across the campus and knocked on Tom's door.

Jessie was lying in his bed, tired of crying, just plain tired of life, and then a hand touched his back.

"Jessie ... what happened, Jessie?" Tom asked.

He'd seen the boy with Stephen, he had no idea how far it had gone. But relationships between a sophomore and a senior were doomed to fail, and this one obviously had. He could console the boy, but he could not set things right.

And Jessie threw himself at Tom and all the pain and anguish spilled out, the words barely coherent between the sobs. They sat that way for an hour and Frank hovered outside the open door to keep others away. Tom could not close that door, it would be unseemly for a faculty member and a boy to be alone like this, and the door remained open.

Jessie went off for his second summer and came back a little colder and a whole lot wiser. Frank got a hug this time but little else, Jessie as not the same, he couldn't be. Tom noticed the change and it saddened him, and yet the boy threw himself into the music with a passion he'd rarely seen. The life lesson had inspired Jesse's playing, and then Tom saw him with Neil.

Jessie's saw the look of wonder appear on Neil's face and he increased the vacuum in his mouth. Neil's mind was registering pleasure, and his body was starting to stimulate those receptors that brought about an orgasm. And as his cock began to swell in Jessie's mouth his eyes fluttered open and a groan issued from his throat.

"Oh God ... baby," Neil groaned and he let go, the control gone, the issue over. Jessie grinned as Neil's cock spurted in his mouth. Oh yeah, the reward was so rich and creamy, and the boy shuddered as Jessie swallowed every drop.

Neil reached down and pulled him up, their mouths crushed together, tongues sharing the taste of Neil's seed. Then Neil started to shake, he was laughing.

"Jeez, you are a sex maniac ... Oh God, I love you so much."

Jessie lay his head on Neil's chest and all the memories that had just rolled through his head went away, lost in the past. Neil was his future, and this love would last, he felt that.

"I love you too," Jessie said, teasing one of Neil's nipples with his tongue.

"Oh hell, you're killing me ... stop that," Neil groaned, but he made no move to stop anything and Jessie giggled.

"I love teasing you ... you never say no," Jessie said.

"Baby, I could never say that to you, ever. You'll be teasing me to the day I die."

"That's a long time ... are we gonna make it there together?" Jessie asked.

"What? I sure hope so, I want to ... I want to love you forever," Neil said.

And Jessie bit down on that nipple causing Neil to yelp.

"You better mean that Mister, I'm hopelessly in love with you," Jessie said.

Neil laughed and rubbed his nipple. "So eat me and get it over with, then I'll be yours forever."

"One bite at a time ... are you hungry?" Jessie asked.

"Sure, I'll go make us some breakfast, then we can come back to bed," Neil said.

"Promises, promises ... we'll see," Jessie laughed.

They dressed and slid into their jackets, it was still quite cold outside. They should have showered; it would have been the best idea before going back to the house. The room reeked of sex and the boys did as well, the scent imbedded in their unwashed skin. But they couldn't smell it, they shared it now, it was all a part of who they were for the moment.

The boys stepped through the kitchen door and Nora looked up from her magazine, coffee cup in hand. Clayton ignored them, his nose in the financial section of the Times.

"Good morning, guys," Nora said, "Can I get you anything?"

"No, Mom ... I'll just make us some eggs and we'll have juice," Neil said. He went to the refrigerator and brought out the carton of orange juice. Nora got up and pulled two glasses from the cabinet and then Neil filled them.

That was the moment Nora got a whiff of the boy's odor, and she knew exactly what it was. She couldn't say anything, it would embarrass both boys. But it meant they'd had sex last night, something she'd known was going to happen. It was just a bit of a shock.

She brought Jessie his juice as Neil pulled a fry pan out of the cupboard.

"One egg or two?" Neil asked.

"One would be fine," Jessie replied.

Neil squeezed by his father to get bread for toast and the man looked up at him.

"Jesus, Neil, you smell like you've been in a whore house."

Jessie froze and Nora moved her left arm, placing a hand over his. They both waited for the response.

"I don't know anything about that," Neil said, his voice flat ... he was trying to remain calm.

"Well you go out there fucking your little boyfriend all night and what do you expect, couldn't you at least have taken a shower?" Clayton said.

Neil slammed the fry pan down on the stove and the room rang with the sound.

"Jessie, go wait in my room for a few minutes, please ... will you?" Neil said.

Jessie got up and grabbed his coat, scurrying out the door.

"Clayton, that was uncalled for," Nora said.

"Just telling the truth," He replied.

Neil turned and Nora almost cried out, the look on his face was murderous.

"I've had it with you ... you sanctimonious prick," Neil screamed.

Clayton reaction was swift, he slapped Neil's face. "You better respect me boy, I won't listen to that crap from the likes of you."

"Likes of me? You mean your faggot son? You can just go straight to hell mister, and I'm going to make sure you get there."

With that Neil ran from the room and Nora could hear his feet pounding up the stairs, and then a door slammed. Nora looked across the table and stared at her husband as he resumed reading the paper. Maybe it was time to toss the bastard out on his ear. That woman in Boston was enough to get her a quick divorce settlement, but she wanted a greater vengeance now and that meant daddy.

Clayton had been a minor manager at Elkins, Rinehart and Sons when they first met at a cocktail party. Her daddy was the Elkins part of the name, the senior partner and major stockholder in the company. Nora didn't flatter herself, a previous marriage had ended badly, and she knew what men saw in her now.

He had seemed funny ... amusing, as he courted her from the moment their eyes first met. Six months later she was pregnant with Neil. She was surprised it had lasted this long, it had all been for the boy's sake. Clayton rose in the company as expected of the boss's son-in-law, his position had allowed the move here.

But she had hoped for some reconciliation between Clayton and Neil, it had never been good, now it was worse. It didn't need to be tolerated any further. Clayton had hooked up with that little marketing girl, what was she, twenty-four ... twenty-five? Her father would know, he'd been the first to find out and say something.

But Nora had allowed it to continue, they didn't sleep together anymore ... they hadn't shared love for six or seven years now. Only now she understood Neil wouldn't be overwrought if the bastard was sent packing. In fact after this little scene Neil would probably hold the door and kick the jerk in the ass on the way out. Lord, she would love to see that.

Neil came bounding down the stairs and dropped a small computer disk in his mother's lap. "There ... that's all you'll need, you want me to call Mr. Gerber?" Neil asked.

"What have you got there?" Neil's father asked when he heard the lawyer's name.

"Just a copy of every instant message you've shared with that bitch you've been fucking down in Boston," Neil said, and he stood back proudly.

"What ... that's impossible," Clayton said.

"No, I set your computer to store every IM you have with her, bunny girl ... am I right? I just downloaded everything in that history; it was a pretty long text file."

"Give me that," Clayton said and Nora held it out of his reach. "Give it to me." He grabbed Nora's arm and began twisting it. He only stopped when the fry pan slammed against the side of his face, knocking him to the floor.

"You touch my mother again and I'll kill you ... you get that?" Neil screamed, but Clayton couldn't hear him, he was out cold.

Nora reached for the phone and dialed nine-one-one; it was time to end the charade.

The Grafton County Rescue Service arrived about the same time as the sheriff; Clayton was hauled off in the ambulance as the deputy took the report. He would have Clayton arrested for assault the minute the doctor said he was free to go.

"I'm sorry you boys had to get involved," Nora said once the deputy left.

"Oh My God ... Jessie," Neil yelled, and he took off out the back door.

Nora smiled and reached for the phone again, this time she dialed her father.

Jessie was sitting on the couch trembling; he didn't know what was happening in the house. All he knew was that the boy he loved was in conflict with his father, something Jessie knew only too well in his own life. And then Neil came bursting through the door and fell on him, smothering him with kisses and soft soothing words'

"Oh Jessie ... I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry ... are you OK, baby?"

Jessie shook his head. "Your father ... he's a lot like mine." And Neil could feel the boy trembling.

"It's OK ... he's gone ... he won't ever be back to bother us again."

"Oh God ... what did you do? Did you kill him?"

Neil smiled. "Sorry, your egg was ruined when I hit him with the fry pan. The cops took him away in an ambulance."

Jessie's eyes got real wide. "You're kidding ... No, you're not. Oh Jeez, I always miss the best part of the drama."

And Neil laughed, hugging Jessie for all he was worth. "No baby, this isn't a drama, it's a romance story starring you and me."

They walked back in the house just as Nora put down the phone. She immediately saw the look of trepidation on Jessie's face.

"Oh sweetie, come here," Nora said, and she held the boy in her arms. "I'm sorry ... you didn't need to get in the middle of that, but it's over. Everything is just fine."

"I ... I didn't know what to think," Jessie said. "Did Neil really hit Mr. Dennison with the fry pan?"

"Yes he did, my hero," Nora said, and Neil smiled back at her. "But you boys didn't get anything to eat, let me take you out to lunch ... would that be OK?"

"Yes Mom, we don't have any plans," Neil said.

Nora smiled. "Fine, then let me go get ready ... um, why don't you boys shower ... sound OK?"

Neil laughed. "Yes Mom, I can take a hint, give us half an hour."

Jessie stood close as the hot water sprayed down on them. "I am so glad she's all right, it must have been pretty scary," He said.

"It's been a long time coming, I'm just glad it's over," Neil said.

"It was about protecting her, wasn't it? I mean you hit your father because of something he did to her, didn't you? That's why she said you're her hero."

"Yeah, it was something like that," Neil said.

"You stood up for us too ... this really means something to you doesn't it?" Jessie asked.

Neil smiled and gave Jessie a quick kiss on the lips. "Baby, you mean everything to me ... I would die for you."

Jessie kissed him back. "I would never ask you to do that."

Neil kissed again. "If anything ever happened to you I wouldn't want to live, OK?"

Jessie sighed. "This is the first time I've ever loved someone so much and felt like it's gonna last forever."

Neil smiled. "You'll have to hit me with a fry pan to get rid of me."

Jessie giggled. "Oh, that will never happen."

They spent the day with Nora, eating at the old mill in Littleton. Jessie seemed to come to life after a traumatic morning. She could see the glances her son gave the boy and shared in the love she saw in their eyes. Jessie spoke some more about his aunt and Nora felt like she wanted to talk with the woman and express her delight in meeting Jessie.

"Oh? I bet she'd like to meet you too, they'll be coming here for the Christmas concert, you can meet her then," Jessie said.

"What about Thanksgiving, aren't you going home for that?" Nora asked.

"Probably not, the bus takes forever and otherwise I'd have to catch a train down in Boston, I don't really have a way to get there," Jessie said.

"I have an idea, why don't you and Neil drive down to see them?" Nora said.

"Oh, I couldn't ask Neil to do that, and gas is so expensive."

Nora smiled. "I'm sure Neil would love to be with you, besides I'm going to visit my father that weekend and I don't think Neil wants to spend his time with a bunch of old folks."

"Mom, you are not old, so stop that," Neil laughed.

Nora looked from boy to boy. "No, you go to Philadelphia. I want you to spend time together, these are the best years of your lives and you should be together."

She put her hand on Jessie's, looking into those warm brown eyes. "You're like family now; I want you to always feel that way. I expect Neil will have you over quite often and I enjoy your company too. Now we'll have a quiet house, a smiling house ... a place where your love can flourish."

Jessie stared back at her and nodded. "Thanks ... Mom."

Nora gazed at him and was speechless, for anything she said would only make her cry. It had been a long day ... one of the longest she could remember. But she was happy, for now it felt like she had two sons, boys to make a mother proud.

And later that night as they lay in bed Neil remembered what he had seen at that moment. It was good to love Jessie, for the boy always seemed to do the right thing. And he had seen the tears in his mother's eyes when Jessie called her Mom. It was good to love Jessie, and he knew she loved him too.

On Sunday they sat at the dining room table and did homework, something that should have been attended to before now but ... yeah, but. And somehow Jessie's presence seemed to inspire Neil as he wrote his composition for Elias on his father's laptop, his now after he had erased everything to do with the bastard.

He smiled and looked up at Jessie toiling away at the trig homework across the table, and then Neil began to write.

How do we know when love first strikes? Is it in the eyes, the heart, or the mind? For love gives no warning of its approach. 'Love sees not with the eyes, but with the mind,' Master Shakespeare assumes, but he was only partially right.

Love is the mind, it doesn't see at all. For love is a meeting of minds for common purpose, for a joining of minds precludes all other senses under control. Love doesn't taste, it cannot be touched, it cannot be smelled, but the object of that love can serve all of those.

The soft touch of his cheek on mine, the smell of flowers in his hair, and the taste of his lips, sweeter than honey and more nourishing to the mind than a thousand well placed sonnets. Nice try Master Shakespeare, but you didn't look deep enough.

Is love stronger than the mind, does it have substance in our lives? Evaluate the effects of love for the answer. The mind controls breathing, but true love takes the breath away. The mind controls the heart, but the heart aches when love is absent.

Love is a feeling, an emotion so strong that it can bring the mind crashing down without warning. Love has no mass, no dimension, and yet it encompasses a body so completely that it can smother. It is not tangible and yet many languages have so many words for that feeling we hold so dear. There is nothing simple about love.

Once found it is hard to cast off, for love inserts itself into the very fabric of our existence. And yet when all is said and done, no one definition serves to define what love really means. But humanity has fought wars over love and climbed the highest mountains in search of elusive love. It is all too much for one man to fathom, but my love sits across a narrow table from me ... my search is over.

Neil smiled, wondering what Elias would think of his definition. For this time he'd done it right, there was no one definition that would serve, and they both knew it. The purpose of semantics was to define, and here he hoped he had laid out a case over a word that defied definition. He thought it clever, but then he was still puzzled at what Jessie meant to him.

If anything their relationship was timely, they had a year and a half to graduation. The vision of them standing together at graduation, holding hands and kissing before the entire school was a tantalizing image. The only ones who would be shocked were the parents, the students and faculty all seemed to know by now.

They worked on homework until dinner time, a meal his mother loved to present with style. And afterwards Jessie gave them a concert, something Nora knew she would never forget. For their living room was transformed into a grand hall when Jessie played, and tonight he made them see it.

"I have some Christmas music I want you to hear if you don't think that's too out of place," Jessie said.

"No, play anything at all, Jessie ... we're listening," Nora said.

And Jessie played some grand old Christmas music, most of it classical in nature, some of it spiritual. And then he played Beethoven. His memory of the music was astounding, for not a single note seemed out of place. And then he stopped.

"I wrote this next one myself, about the first month I was at Bradford. When Tom let me use the Steinway it had such a grand sound I couldn't help but think of ways to make it sound even better, this is what I came up with. It ought to sound especially fine on this piano."

And Jessie launched himself into a wondrous and complicated piece of music, all stored in his mind where it had originally been born. Neil could only bask in the glow of Jessie's creation, and like his mother stood to applaud when it was done. Then they were off to bed.

Neil set his alarm for six, knowing it would take a while to get up, and at least he was planning to shower.

"This has been the most exciting and tumultuous weekend of my life," Jessie said.

"Whoa, who let the big words in here?" Neil laughed. "Yeah, it was a bit rough there for a while I guess. But look what we accomplished."

"Are we talking sex or homework?" Jessie asked.

"Home work we have to do, sex we don't ... I would love you if we'd never slept together," Neil said.

Jessie smiled. "But it certainly shows we have no boundaries."

"No boundaries ... that's my war cry for the rest of the semester."

"I love you, Mr. Dennison."

"I love you too, Mr. Reardon."

"Hmm, so what are we going to do about it?"

"We'll think of something," Neil said.

And in the house Nora sat drinking a cup of tea, something to put her to sleep. For this was the first night she felt at peace, at least Neil had someone to love. She was only forty-two, there was still time, for Nora wasn't planning to grow old alone.

No grandchildren, that was a bit of a bother, but then maybe the boys would adopt. They could all move to Boston and there the boys could get married. Lord, what grand thoughts, they needed to grow up first. She wondered what Neil would do when he found out how much money would be coming his way in a few years. He was still too young to find out about that just yet.

If he and Jessie wanted to attend college together she would make it happen. No sense in either of the boys missing out on a solid future together. College was an important time of life. Yes, she did need to talk with Jessie's aunt.

Nora smiled. Jessie had called her Mom all evening, it felt especially warm coming from him. Such a dear boy, she could almost bet he would pursue a musical career. It wouldn't be meddling if she got involved in the boy's life, just assuring the happiness of her son. She would talk to her father over Thanksgiving while Neil visited the aunt, then they could make plans.


On to Chapter Six

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"Seasons for the Boy" Copyright © 6 September 2008 Chris James. All rights reserved.
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